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-   -   Best "colon cleanse" product you have used? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=760994)

chadknowslaw 08-16-2007 05:26 PM

I ate some rice soup from a street vendor in Vientiane, Laos. That cleaned me out quite well -- took off a few pounds too. I just had to find a pharmacist in Bangkok to give me the right stuff to make it STOP.

pornask 08-16-2007 06:17 PM

If you're going to clean your body of shit, you may as well do it the 100% natural way. Check out http://www.drnatura.com/

CDSmith 08-16-2007 06:19 PM

I hear shit will be hitting the fan soon in this thread... http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=761077

Maybe go ask Juicy what HE used. :D

Sharky 08-16-2007 06:20 PM

Go search on Google for "the lemonade diet"

That will work.

bronco67 08-16-2007 07:19 PM

There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootle of this stuff with a gallon of water.

First, you need to be sitting down when you drink this stuff. It will bring you to your knees. Imagine squeezing 1000 lemons and mix it with a sack of buttholes. Worst ever.

Anyway, be near the john, because if you have to go up or down stairs you will not make it. Everything starts coming out. You keep drinking water until basically about 2 hours later you're butt is squirting jets of water that is so clean it sparkles like the fucking Nile river.

You're not shitting the whole 2 hours -- it comes in waves every 20 minutes or so.

Give it a try and report back....

CDSmith 08-16-2007 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12942445)
There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootle of this stuff with a gallon of water.

First, you need to be sitting down when you drink this stuff. It will bring you to your knees. Imagine squeezing 1000 lemons and mix it with a sack of buttholes. Worst ever.

Anyway, be near the john, because if you have to go up or down stairs you will not make it. Everything starts coming out. You keep drinking water until basically about 2 hours later you're butt is squirting jets of water that is so clean it sparkles like the fucking Nile river.

You're not shitting the whole 2 hours -- it comes in waves every 20 minutes or so.

Give it a try and report back....

If he lives. :1orglaugh




That Go Lightly stuff I mentioned pretty much does the same thing btw. No escape!

Bell 08-16-2007 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chadknowslaw (Post 12941842)
I ate some rice soup from a street vendor in Vientiane, Laos. That cleaned me out quite well -- took off a few pounds too. I just had to find a pharmacist in Bangkok to give me the right stuff to make it STOP.


now that is funny...

glad you were able to get help...

~Bell (Patricia)

Pornwolf 08-16-2007 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12942445)
There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootleg of this stuff with a gallon of water.


There must be something to this. Hospitals definitely do use this when they need to clean you out for a colonoscopy.

rowan 08-16-2007 09:43 PM

O M F G.

http://www.blessedherbs.com/photos2i.html

Not only are there pictures of poo, there's headshots of the people that sent them in! :1orglaugh

tony286 08-16-2007 09:49 PM

I went a read around,most docs hate that colon cleansing shit(no pun ) intended. Probably the best way to do it, is eating whole grains,veggies and fruits for a month and only distilled water. None of the tasty stuff you would probably feel like a million dollars afterwards. I wish I had the strength to do it myself.

Drake 08-16-2007 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace (Post 12940760)

I'm going to assume these are extreme cases and that the average person doesn't have anything like that in their colons. Am I wrong? :Oh crap

Spunky 08-16-2007 10:14 PM

Poopin is cool

Jace 08-16-2007 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike33 (Post 12943166)
I'm going to assume these are extreme cases and that the average person doesn't have anything like that in their colons. Am I wrong? :Oh crap

well, it is pretty normal these days to have larger amounts of it

Quote:

"The intestines can store a vast amount of partially digested, putrefying matter (as well as drugs and other toxic chemicals)?for decades even. Some intestines, when autopsied, have weighed up to 40 pounds and were distended to a diameter of 12 inches with only a pencil-thin channel through which the feces could move.

That 40 pounds was due to caked layers of encrusted mucus mixed with fecal matter, bizarrely resembling hardened blackish-green truck tire rubber or an old piece of dried rawhide. I call this mucoid plaque. This mucoid plaque, when it is removed during an intensive colon cleanse, often shows ropelike twists, striations, overlaps, folds, creases?the shape and texture of the intestinal wall.

Mucoid plaque may vary considerably, depending on the chemical conditions in a person?s intestines. It may be hard and brittle; it may be firm and thick; tough, wet, and rubbery; soft, thick, and mucoid; or soft, transparent, and thin; it can range in color from light brown, black, or greenish-black to yellow or grey, and sometimes emits an intensely foul odor.

One client I know, in the course of a month-long colon cleanse, passed a single length of mucoid plaque 15 feet long; another client excreted a total of 11 pounds of mucoid plaque during a cleanse. It is not unusual to pass a total of 35 to 45 feet of plaque, often in the last week. In our clinical experience of monitoring thousands of intensive colon cleanse programs over the last 14 years, most people pass a staggering amount of this strange substance.

I coined the term mucoid plaque, meaning a film of mucus, to describe the unhealthy accumulation of abnormal mucous matter on the walls of the intestines. Conventional medicine knows this as a layering of mucin or glycoproteins (made up of 20 amino acids and 50% carbohydrates) which are naturally and appropriately secreted by intestines as protection from acids and toxins.

However, mucoid plaque is different from the mucosal lining (mucosa) of the gastrointestinal tract. The latter acts as a necessary buffer to the gastrointestinal wall and as a lubricant for peristalsis; it is also responsible for the secretion of mucins which comprise mucoid plaque. The cells of the outermost layer of the mucosa (the epithelium) stay fresh and vital, renewing themselves every four to seven days.

It sounds paradoxical, but medical research indicates that mucoid plaque is a normal self-defense measure?natural protection from unnatural toxins.

Evidence indicates that mucoid plaque, with the possible exception of that found in the stomach, is unnatural to the healthy body and is found only after the body has moved away from perfect health and into a diseased state. The theory goes that if you were completely healthy, your system would produce no mucoid plaque because it wouldn?t need to.

When the body has been chronically subjected to (or put under attack by) drugs (such as aspirin or alcohol), salt, heavy metals (including dental mercury), toxic chemicals, parasites, harmful microbes and their toxins, and circulating immune complexes (immune cells locked onto undigested particles or foreign substances in the bloodstream), it produces mucoid plaque to protect itself.

The trouble is once the mucoid plaque is created, for whatever biologically important reason, it is not routinely excreted from the intestines. Instead it lodges in the numerous folds and crevices of this large organ and can remain there for many years. Over time, the mucoid plaque grows thicker, firmer, and more widespread?colonizing, as it were, the tennis court?sized interior of the intestines. Old feces adhere to the plaque and are not removed during a normal bowel motion.

The plaque slows down intestinal action, both waste excretion and nutrient absorption. It can harbor pathogens, including bacteria and parasites, which actually hide underneath the plaque; it may block the normal outflow of lymph and mucin drainage. It binds toxins to itself and contributes to bowel toxicity, slowly emitting toxins into the bloodstream. Finally, plaque creates a friendly environment for disease, in some cases for colon cancer and gastric carcinomas.

Gradually your immune system is weakened as the chronically toxic bowel environment destroys useful bacteria. Your liver becomes overburdened by the unprocessed intestinal toxins, and nerve meridian points in the intestines related to hundreds of other parts of the body are compromised.

A toxic bowel results in toxic blood and lymph, toxic organs and cells, and toxic function. The bowel ?feeds? every organ, tissue, and cell in our bodies, so when the quality of feeding from the digestive system is contaminated or of poor quality, the cells and organs elsewhere in the body will be compromised and grow sluggish and inefficient.

So while mucoid plaque is ?natural? in that the intestines produce it, it is most unnatural in that the presence of a large amount of it indicates a high degree of intestinal ill health. When the intestines are ill, you will be ill. "

Jace 08-16-2007 10:30 PM

http://www.planearium2.de/bilder/wal...iwinks-800.jpg

Snake Doctor 08-16-2007 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12942445)
There's this stuff I drank before my colonoscopy called phospha soda. You can buy it in the drug store. The night before my procedure, I had to drink a bootle of this stuff with a gallon of water.

First, you need to be sitting down when you drink this stuff. It will bring you to your knees. Imagine squeezing 1000 lemons and mix it with a sack of buttholes. Worst ever.

Anyway, be near the john, because if you have to go up or down stairs you will not make it. Everything starts coming out. You keep drinking water until basically about 2 hours later you're butt is squirting jets of water that is so clean it sparkles like the fucking Nile river.

You're not shitting the whole 2 hours -- it comes in waves every 20 minutes or so.

Give it a try and report back....

I have been thinking about this colon cleanse stuff for awhile, and this thread and this post made me decide to go to walgreens and buy this stuff.

It tastes bad but nothing like what you described, I think they've improved the lemon/ginger stuff you mix with it to make it more bearable.

I brought the laptop to the john with me, which is where I'm posting this from. I figured I was gonna be here awhile so I brought some books and a DVD.

I'll keep you guys posted on how everything comes out :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Jace 08-16-2007 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943230)
I have been thinking about this colon cleanse stuff for awhile, and this thread and this post made me decide to go to walgreens and buy this stuff.

It tastes bad but nothing like what you described, I think they've improved the lemon/ginger stuff you mix with it to make it more bearable.

I brought the laptop to the john with me, which is where I'm posting this from. I figured I was gonna be here awhile so I brought some books and a DVD.

I'll keep you guys posted on how everything comes out :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

OMFG, hahahahahaha

take pics!!! ROFL

Snake Doctor 08-16-2007 11:24 PM

So it finally kicked in and every 5 minutes or so I have niagra falls coming out of my ass.

It stopped for a few minutes and I went out to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and I sharted :(

This stuff is powerful

bronco67 08-16-2007 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943230)
I have been thinking about this colon cleanse stuff for awhile, and this thread and this post made me decide to go to walgreens and buy this stuff.

It tastes bad but nothing like what you described, I think they've improved the lemon/ginger stuff you mix with it to make it more bearable.

I brought the laptop to the john with me, which is where I'm posting this from. I figured I was gonna be here awhile so I brought some books and a DVD.

I'll keep you guys posted on how everything comes out :1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

make sure you drink PLENTY of water. Whatever the bottle says...and I think you can't eat for a while before you do it. Please don't be a dunce, make sure you follow the directions, you could hurt yourself.

Snake Doctor 08-16-2007 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronco67 (Post 12943399)
make sure you drink PLENTY of water. Whatever the bottle says...

I'm on my 3rd liter now.

Jesus Christ someone bring me some CHEESE!!!! :helpme

Profits of Doom 08-16-2007 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943408)
I'm on my 3rd liter now.

Jesus Christ someone bring me some CHEESE!!!! :helpme

The problem is the stuff you bought is supposed to get rid of the immediate build up inside your colon, but the other treatments, like Oxy Powder and the others, are supposed to flush out the built up obstructions in your colon. Is a lot of what you are shitting now water based or actually solid?

After Shock Media 08-16-2007 11:55 PM

Doesnt it bother anyone that this is pseudo science and medicine?

Sure if you enjoy shitting go for it, if you gain some mental rffects fine, yet please do not fool yourself and think this shit is real, medically proven, or even effects you aside from shitting your brains out.

will76 08-17-2007 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jace (Post 12943207)
well, it is pretty normal these days to have larger amounts of it

ok after reading that quote, i never want to eat again...

but you did give me a good idea for a new diet....


The Colon Blow diet. It is like the South BEach Diet but better. eat whatever you want and go get a colon blow and lose 10 - 20 pounds of old shit. :winkwink::Oh crap

I hope i dont have pound(s) of old crap in my colon. :Oh crap

will76 08-17-2007 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943369)
So it finally kicked in and every 5 minutes or so I have niagra falls coming out of my ass.

It stopped for a few minutes and I went out to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and I sharted :(

This stuff is powerful

LMAO... i want to try it now too.

munki 08-17-2007 12:26 AM

Do me a favor and watch the Penn and Teller's Bullshit special on colonics and colon cleansers before you try anythng...

zand_stein 08-17-2007 12:28 AM

you ca try to eat apple.......
also drink some apple juice........

Profits of Doom 08-17-2007 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zand_stein (Post 12943518)
you ca try to eat apple.......
also drink some apple juice........

Could you please just turn off your computer and quit posting. I have yet to understand a fucking thing you have posted. Ever considered suicide? I hear all the cool kids are doing it...

Snake Doctor 08-17-2007 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Profits of Doom (Post 12943413)
The problem is the stuff you bought is supposed to get rid of the immediate build up inside your colon, but the other treatments, like Oxy Powder and the others, are supposed to flush out the built up obstructions in your colon. Is a lot of what you are shitting now water based or actually solid?

Dude it's niagra falls, there's nothing solid left.

I have a hard time believing there's anything "built up" in there, the 3000psi pressure washer that was once my asshole has cleaned everything.

My best guess is that the other products like oxy powder where they show you all this tar like substance that came out of people actually creates that stuff inside of you and then when you poop it out you think that it "cleaned you out" :2 cents:

bausch 08-17-2007 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943369)
So it finally kicked in and every 5 minutes or so I have niagra falls coming out of my ass.

It stopped for a few minutes and I went out to the kitchen to refill my water bottle and I sharted :(

This stuff is powerful

Does it hurt and sting? Cause I know that dhiarrhea stings your ass sometimes and feels "unpleasant", like burning... you know what I mean?

Does it feel this way when you're shitting out a ton of shit from drinking this colon cleaning stuff?

Profits of Doom 08-17-2007 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2 (Post 12943550)
Dude it's niagra falls, there's nothing solid left.

I have a hard time believing there's anything "built up" in there, the 3000psi pressure washer that was once my asshole has cleaned everything.

My best guess is that the other products like oxy powder where they show you all this tar like substance that came out of people actually creates that stuff inside of you and then when you poop it out you think that it "cleaned you out" :2 cents:

I thought that too, and there is some evidence that products that tell you to take olive oil with them are causing the build up. The alternative medicine page on about.com says that, as the woman that writes it researched it and said the olive oils caused her to shit odd gelatinous balls.

will76 08-17-2007 12:48 AM

this conversation is shitty and makes teh boy alley's asshole itch.

will76 08-17-2007 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Profits of Doom (Post 12943558)
I thought that too, and there is some evidence that products that tell you to take olive oil with them are causing the build up. The alternative medicine page on about.com says that, as the woman that writes it researched it and said the olive oils caused her to shit odd gelatinous balls.

im telling you, olive oil kills me. Wife loves to cook with a lot of it. She made some soup few days ago, like half a bottle of olive oil, i ate two bowls and i blew like you woudlnt believe. BBQ shrimp..... anything loaded with olive oil... hot sauce and spicy stuff does it but nothing like olive oil.

The Sultan Of Smut 08-17-2007 01:14 AM

http://www.falconblanco.com/health/c...moncleanse.htm

Snake Doctor 08-17-2007 01:53 AM

fuck man, I just took an immodium so that it will stop.

Gawd help me

dav3 08-17-2007 02:06 AM

Some one bet this lady she couldn't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

50 years later... OMG! there it is!!

http://www.blessedherbs.com/colon-cl...martha-poo.jpg

Aquarius 08-17-2007 02:19 AM

This is a shitty thread.

JFK 08-17-2007 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chadknowslaw (Post 12941844)
I ate some rice soup from a street vendor in Vientiane, Laos. That cleaned me out quite well -- took off a few pounds too. I just had to find a pharmacist in Bangkok to give me the right stuff to make it STOP.

Chad ,get in touch as soon as it stops:winkwink:

jigg 08-17-2007 03:13 AM

Fleet Phospho Soda, doc made me take it before a colonoscopy
Vile shit, vile - i mixed it with apple juice and haven't drank any since then. Made me gag for a month after that every time I thought about it

And it gave me such a flush out I thought I'd lose my hole down the toilet, worse than a hung dude that doesn't know how to use his dick. Kept me going to the bathroom every 5 minutes as soon as I drank even a little bit of liquid!

And the doc remarked how awesomely loose I was before sticking the cam up my butt :1orglaugh

bausch 08-17-2007 03:18 AM

I want to know if your asshole gets sore from shitting so much? Cause I know that dhiarrhea hurts. Does your asshole burn and gets sore from shitting so much after drinking this stuff? Cause I hate that feeling...

bronco67 08-17-2007 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bausch (Post 12944077)
I want to know if your asshole gets sore from shitting so much? Cause I know that dhiarrhea hurts. Does your asshole burn and gets sore from shitting so much after drinking this stuff? Cause I hate that feeling...

Use baby wipes when you dump, and you shouldn't have a problem. baby wipes are a godsend for guys like me with shitting problems. And have some Tuck's medicated pads. Those things are awesome.

CDSmith 08-17-2007 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGuyInTheCorner (Post 12940492)
Sorry Gotta be done !!!

[img]http://img114.imageshack.us/img114/3092/*******tz5.jpg[/img]

This thread needs more *******.

Anthony 08-17-2007 08:29 AM

Penn & Teller on the subject.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=h8uZUDuSWxI

Peaches 08-17-2007 09:27 AM

I have 5 more years before I have to go in an for a recommended required colonoscopy. I am quite happy to wait until that time to "cleanse" myself. Everyone I know says drinking the stuff and dealing with the pooping like crazy is by far worse than them sticking a camera up your butt :(

_Rush_ 08-17-2007 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anthony (Post 12945362)
Penn & Teller on the subject.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=h8uZUDuSWxI

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Babaganoosh 08-17-2007 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by After Shock Media (Post 12943437)
Doesnt it bother anyone that this is pseudo science and medicine?

Sure if you enjoy shitting go for it, if you gain some mental rffects fine, yet please do not fool yourself and think this shit is real, medically proven, or even effects you aside from shitting your brains out.

Finally someone with some sense in this thread. This colon cleansing fad is absurd. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MUCOID PALQUE. That stuff that is coming out of people's asses is CLAY. I don't understand the logic involved. You drink clay. What do you think will come out the other end? A healthy colon does a fine job of cleansing itself. Anyone who buys this is getting scammed. You do not need this shit at all.


http://www.lisabarger.com/colon_cleansing_scams.htm
http://quackfiles.blogspot.com/2004/...ious-idea.html

ztik 08-17-2007 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brother Bilo (Post 12940564)
I recommend a case of shity beer, maybe Pabst or the Beast, and then once you got the whole case down, go get the greasiest, nastiest Mexican food you can find. Coat it in hotsauce, chow and then pass out.

You'll wake up in the morning and have that green apple quickstep to get to the bathroom in time. Works like a charm everytime.

Yup a case of schlitz will do it

never fails :1orglaugh

mike-al 08-17-2007 09:59 AM

I earlier read an article on people drinking golightly...

"it's really nasty, tasted like extremely salty watermelon flavored cardboard. Gross."

Well, last time I was in Vegas, being lazy I grabbed a pizza from a hotel gaming lounge area... I remember eating the cardboard box because it tasted better than the pizza, and this stuff is like flavored cardboard? cant be all that bad

sexyclicks 08-17-2007 10:10 AM

check out this product to regulate your intestine:

http://www.baolife.com/

puravida 08-17-2007 10:25 AM

eating bad costa rican seafood will do it for yah ... had me asspissing for a week. i dont think there was anything left in me at all :)

rowan 08-17-2007 03:59 PM

I don't need colon blow, my young daughter gives me gastritis every six months! :( My immune system probably isn't as strong because I've been working from home for over 10 years. Just got over the last bout a week ago, the vomiting was far worse than the ass cleaning...

Just bear in mind, if you're PLANNING on squirting fluid from your anus make sure you have something to replenish fluids and electrolyte levels. Some of these supplements could be quite dangerous if you get too dehydrated.

rowan 08-17-2007 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anthony (Post 12945362)
Penn & Teller on the subject.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=h8uZUDuSWxI

:throwup:throwup:throwup :eek2 :eek2


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