Home Land Security -- HLS
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We were out on the river right there at Penns Landing, around the Ben Franklin Bridge.



You're more right than you know. She's a southern girl, from North Carolina. A real redneck.



That's exactly where were were gonna go!



Hehehe - You're more than welcome to. I'm not gonna take her back - ever.



She desperately deserved it, but that's not me. Besides, I'd be behind bars right now.




True, I'm just glad it is over with. I think I'll be better off by myself for a while.


Unfortunately, I won't be going. I'm really depressed about it too. I was really looking forward to meeting 12clicks and all the other local webmasters that will be there.



:Oh crap

Ive had similar stuff happen long ago in a land far away called "I''m a hahahaha whipped pussy" Bitch grabbed a can of motor oil and poured it all over my clothes and smashed a few of my guitars...same story...any chick that would be willing to have you put away for beating her when it wasnt true needs to be cut loose
ASAP...it will happen again no matter what you think
So next time you see her dont give her a hug and whatever you do dont smell her neck..other wise you'll be posting your next story from the jailhouse library

:uhoh

The nightmare continues...


Here it is, two days later. The house is in shambles. Stuff was thrown everywhere from when Ann stormed out of here. I'm noticing more and more of my belongings that are missing. She cleaned out the bathroom of everything, I'm missing a bunch of clothes, and my car keys are nowhere to be found.

The more I think about it, the more it starts to make some kind of sense. Here, my lease is up in exactly one week and I haven't found a place to live yet. Money isn't as plentiful as it was when I first started dating her last year. I took her out to Vegas for the Super Bowl, went down to Atlantic City for days at a time, I used to take her out to resturants and we would always go out and do something afterwards - every night of the week.

Recently, I told her that she needed to get a job to help out with the bills. She was used to doing a whole bunch of nothing, so I'm sure she was pissed off about that. The small amount of money that she earned, with her very part time job, was not enough for anything. It just lowered the amount of money I 'd give her each week.

Anyhow, I'm putting a bunch of stuff up on eBay now, getting ready to move out of here. Maybe this whole thing was a blessing in disguise. I was planning on marrying this woman. I suppose it's better to find out what she's all about now, instead of later.

wise words.

TurboFace - be tough.

A real man would kick your fucking ass for even saying that. Whether you're joking or not.

Yeah! Sexism isnt funny!

Damn, you spoiled her rotten. Treat your woman well, don't give her everything under the sun. Your same kindness and personality will always be available, gifts and vacations will not...

I always crack up when people tell me they're taking their girl on some wild vacation for their one month anniversary. Why? Vacations are a treat, a gift on anniversaries are expected... don't mix the two.

Haha, maybe this is why I don't have a girlfriend! :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh

Don't make me fist your cat.

Ya, you've got a point there. One of her hobbies was shopping at the Mall. We would go all the time. Thinking back now, I think that that was a mistake. For the first cople of months, every day was Christmas for her.

Yeh man, she was in love with your money, not you. What happened the other day was probably the best thing that ever happened to you. Your life would have been miserable, for sure.

Fuck, why am I giving all this advice? I've got my own damn problems right now. :1orglaugh

The plot thickens.

I just talked to Ann just now for the first time since the other night. She was being a birch, as usual. I asked her what happened and here's what she said.

This guy I was out with on the boat the other day called up at the place where Ann works and told his friends there that I had sex with another woman that day we were out. My jaw hit the ground when she told me this.

The only other women I even saw that evening were at a go-go bar that we stopped at. I am so fucking pissed off right now. I don't know why this little fucker did what he did, but he just destroyed my life.

This guy, Charlie, seems like the nicest guy in the World too. I'm in a state of shock right now.

Ann didn't want to even hear a word I had to say about it, but that's ok - I'm over her and wouldn't take her back if she came begging at my door. It is just unbelievable that my life can be turned upside down - over nothing.



:feels-hot

well, what if she is still lying? what if your friend didnt say such thing? or maybe it was a joke?

You should be thanking him. He did you a big favor.

No, I believe that he did say it. I am still just sitting here in shock. I can't just let him get away with this.

you should whoop his ass and then thank him for helping you get rid of that bitch. or bury them both alive.

ahahaahaha! Welcome to Women 101...

Piss that bitch off, get used to jerking off and KEEP YOUR MONEY.

Women are parasitical by nature. Most of them feed off men financially. Their mothers tell them to look for men with "good careers" so they can be "looked after".

I've been largely single for about a year now and I'm loving it. I pick up chicks from Internet singles sites, fuck them and move on... and I end up paying for jack fucking shit.

Keep your freedom and your money.

:thumbsup

It's stupid gold diggin bitches like her that make things difficult for the rest of us females.
That shit she said to you was bull shit! some guy called her and told her you were fucking around, thats bullshit! She saw your money wasn't tight like it was at first. She was looking for a way out to go pimp the next dude. She don't care if you go fuck that other dude up cause he ain't puttin money in her pocket, and if u catch a case over that shit she don't give a fuck about that either. Be glad u got out and ain't locked up over that bitch.

next time u look for a woman, look for one who has her own shit a woman that doesn't NEED your pockets.

that shit actually works?

Rat bastard friend and pyscho bitch from hell

Turboface I think it is time to become a hermit for awhile.

It has for me. Cheaper than clubbing! LOL!

Beat em!:Graucho

Double jeopardy!

Wanna be my girlfriend, Sly? :Graucho

well then, which do you recommend?

I've had my 'fair' share of psychotic, gold-digging girlfriends myself, man. I was dating this chick for about a year while I was running a BBS (Which tells you how long ago this was) and actually making money off of it here and there through advertising and whatnot, so I was at the computer every few hours for like 20 mins at a time, but that was about it. It didn't take up any more of my time than that, but of course I had to hear the "You care about that fucking computer more than you care about me" shit, which, after what happened next I'd have to agree with.

I come home one day to find a big pile of broken dishes in the kitchen, my clothes spread out all over the place covered in bleach, everything you could think of that could have been destroyed WAS destroyed (Even some of HER stuff, go figure) but she waited until I got home to deliver the coup de gras, standing there beside my computer, she pointed at the screen to an innocent message I got from one of my female users thanking me for the great time she had last night, etc. etc.

Now if she'd actually continued to read the fucking thing and actually paid attention to something other than her own selfish needs or even made the slightest effort to find out what a BBS even WAS, she would have realized that this girl was talking about a fucking user meet I had hosted at a local Pizza Place. I knew the owner so he threw in a bunch of free 'Za, Pop and free pool for all the members. I EVEN FUCKING TOLD HER ABOUT IT A WEEK IN ADVANCE but she convieniently "forgot".

I'm sure you can see where this is going. She grabbed the monitor, said something dramatic like "Try talking to your little sluts now!" and proceeded to smash the shit out of my tower with it then threw it across the room at me, just missing my knee (Which I had just had surgery on). Now where she got the strength to do that only her and Satan know for sure...

Anyway, by this point about 15 of our neighbours had called the Police thinking I was killing her, because apparently she was screaming her head off while she was smashing things. So the Cops knock on the door and I answer it within about a second, very calmly stating "I was hoping you guys would show up. Could you arrest my now ex-girlfriend please?" Of course they didn't believe a word I was saying so they split us up and started with the questions. The first thing I said was "If I was beating her up for the past half an hour, don't you think I'd be a little sweaty? Maybe a bit out of breath? Would my clothes not be dishevelled?" (I think I confused the cop with the word "Dishevelled" because he wrote it down and underlined it, no doubt so he could look it up later.) Well Turbo, you're not the only one thats had some bitch try and set you up.

She explained that all the broken dishes, etc. were her attempts to fight me off because I was in such a rage, blah blah blah, I could hear her sobbing in the next room and thought of calling the Academy to nominate her for a best actress Oscar.

BUT THE FUCKING PIGS BELIEVED HER!!! Can you imagine how pissed off I was when they actually started talking about assault charges?!? Anyway, I figured I was fucked until I remembered who had just dropped me off at home.

I had gotten a ride from my Lawyer that day because we were discussing some legal shit in his office all afternoon. AHA! So I tell the cops, Ok guys I can prove she's lying, and not just because she doesn't have a single mark on her, but because I WAS AT MY LAWYER'S OFFICE THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ASSAULTING HER!!! Did the Pigs let me call him? NOPE.

Then the neighbours started coming forward, including the resident manager of the building! They all said straight up that yes they had called the police about a disturbance in this apartment, but some of them had seen me entering the building AFTER the shit had gone down. (There was a store in the lobby of the building so I'm guessing that's where they saw me come in from)


THE COPS DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM!!! (Did I mention that psycho-hose-beast was a total hottie? I mean this girl was fucking HOT man, and of course she was dressed in a tank top, no bra, tight sweatpants and was clinging to the arm of one of the cops like he was her goddamn saviour...)


Anyway. the manager says he can PROVE that I wasn't there!
I had forgotten, there was a security camera in the foyer of our building and one at the back door too, so there's NO WAY I could have slipped in the back, and the fact that we were up on the 27th floor screwed up the "He climbed in a window" shit. Every security tape from that building was time-coded, so there you go. While he was getting the tape what should happen but the phone rings. Who could that be? FUCKIN' A! It was my Lawyer!

He was driving past my building and saw the cop cars parked out front so he was just calling to see what was happening. Needless to say he was there within minutes just tearing strip after strip off the cops for the bullshit I was going through.

Psycho chick started blubbering and cleaning up the mess she'd made in the kitchen, trying to look all lost and confused when he told her to sit down and shut up as she was tampering with evidence. My fingerprints weren't on any of the broken dishes, and if she was throwing them at me in defence, why didn't I have any marks on me, and why were the dishes all in one area and not all over the place? Questions even Joe Fucking Friday and his Studmuffin partner couldn't answer.

Then the Manager comes back with the door tapes. Fuck man, it was better than watching Star Wars on a big screen TV! There I was, walking in the front door of the building exactly 10 minutes and 22 seconds AFTER the police had been called.

So all of the sudden I'm no longer the bad guy and the Cops' attitudes towards little miss innocent suddenly changed DRASTICALLY. They charged her with illegal entry, (Even though she had a key) Vandalism, destruction of private property, Common assault, assault with a weapon, assault with intent to cause bodily harm, conspiracy to commit fraud, etc. etc.

The moral of this story is... Well there is no moral, you just have to WATCH YOUR ASS when it comes to chicks, man. I've been single for a very long time due to that incident. Now that I'm back on my feet and looking at a lucrative career in erotic photography, I'm going to be ten times more careful about who I let into my life. Very careful Indeed.


The End.

Anywhere but in America... she would've been in big trouble for throwing shit at a man's house :thumbsup

As Chris Rock said... I'd never hit a woman... but I'll SHAKE THE SHIT outta her.

OK, heres your solution. Bitch slap your boy that was talking shit, publically humiliate your girl buy posting some nakked pics of her here.

After that get over it and move on:thumbsup

We need to keep this thread alive for awhile. I have no doubt that TurboFace's story has many more chapters to be told. Many more plot thickenings.

This kind of shit doesn't just go away over night. There's bound to be a couple of run-ins or confrontations in the next week or so, and I damn well want to hear about them!

Keep us posted Turbo!

Stealthy I loved your story dude. What kinda convictions/sentence did your psycho ex end up getting for all of that?

Great fucking story.

Hey Turbo. Damn philly chicks are fucked up.

The best revenge is to leave it all alone, and do nothing. Then they will always have to ask themselves the questions why?

Keep your head up, and concentrate on doing your own thing.

:thumbsup

You are right about that. Sometimes things are cool when everything is running smooth, but when there's a bump, you find out what people are really like.

And this doesn't just apply to chicks, either... friends and family are included. I know some people I thought were really really nice at one time, and when shit happens, you find out what they are really like. You cannot comment on the good stuff you remember about them, because it was all a disguise... the whole time. I've seen it more than once.

Damn, dude... it sounds like charlie fuck face has the hots for your girl, and would like to see you two depart.

I know I don't know anything about any specific details, so I can't say, but sometimes a problem is easier solved when you aren't in the middle of it, and I'm not in the middle of it, and that's what it looks like to me. I've seen this more than a few times. Little fucks that never get any women will do this... does that dude ever have a gf? If not, or if he very seldom does, then he's probably desperate more than you realize. :BangBang: :ak47:

Fucken girls & their emotions! Fuckin bitch also accuses you of beating here - GIRLS WILL NEVER CHANGE!

Stealthy,

the first half of your story makes me mad as hell :feels-hot

i cant stand that shit, and it's so fucking typical. its the same thing with the dead-beat dad stereotype - I've heard stories of men making $150k/yr, and having less than $300/mo for himself after being fucked by his wife and the court system.

But, the end of your story is FUCKING WICKED. It should be a GOD DAMN MOVIE. :thumbsup

:321GFY to those fucking dumb bitches.