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-   -   Do Threesomes End Relationships? (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=742594)

rapmaster 06-14-2007 02:29 PM

Lol when I saw the thread title I knew you were listening to loveline... this has been said like 1000 times on the show

Probably correct a lot of the time

_Richard_ 06-14-2007 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna_Miller (Post 12600670)
You know, I'm disappointed with how conservative Dr Drew is. I've heard him say some strange things. Like if you start masturbating at a young age it means something was wrong with your home life. Yeah, whatever. Ok, sorry I got off topic.

My husband and I have been swinging for over 10 years. Even before we got married. We have had lots of 3somes and obviously it hasn't ruined our relationship. 3somes and swinging to us are fun adventures. We find people we like & play with them. They are playmates. My husband is my lifemate.

That being said. I don't think everyone is cut out for swinging. If you are insecure or a jealous type it probably won't work out for you. If explore swinging/3somes to fulfill something missing in your relationship, that is also bad. So, the you got drunk with a friend and all played around could go either way. lol

I have found that you have to communicate a lot about feelings you stir up so you know how each other feel and work so that you are both comfortable and having fun. But if you can be open and communicate and keep it as a full extra activity for both of you, then it can be LOTS of fun. :2 cents:

do you think hiring an escort or whatever would be a way to get around the emotional issue?

Eric 06-14-2007 03:21 PM

Didn't ruin mine

Eric 06-14-2007 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shey (Post 12596793)
Ok, speaking from experience here:

If you are the one pushing for the threesome it will most likely kill the relationship unless you do it right. By doing it right, I mean you have to make sure that during the whole time 70% of your attention is focused on her (your partner). Some guys are so excited to be wetting their stick on someone else they forget their manners sort of speak.

If she's pushing for it, the above still applies. The most important part is that before you start, set the ground rules and ask her how she sees the threesome going and what she wants to get out of it. The first couple of times it happens (if you are lucky) it's going to be fun but a little tense, after that, if you both like it, it should be smooth.

Also, after it happens, make sure to talk to her and get feedback, make sure she feels you care about her more than the monster between your legs.:winkwink:

Of course all of this applies only if you really care about her, if not just do it and hope for the best...:pimp


Bingo!
:thumbsup

The Steve 06-14-2007 03:26 PM

I say go for it. If shit falls apart you still have a story to hold over your friend who has only had one women in his life. Cause that is what I do to my best friend everyday.

jonesonyou 06-14-2007 03:27 PM

Yes it always does. I would say never do it.

jonesonyou 06-14-2007 03:27 PM

Yes it always does. I would say never do it.

Twisted Dave 06-14-2007 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin-SFBucks (Post 12596781)
yes you can have sex just for the sex.... sex is supposed to be fun.. threesomes are fun.

If you go looking to make your twosome a triad.... it's tough... everyone has to love everyone.

If you just want to fuck and play around... another partner is just more options.... hell... a threesome, a foursome.... it just turns into entertainment at that point.

Sex is Sex.. Love is Love... they are two entirely different things that are attached to each other by the participants. One is physical.. one is emotional. You can keep them separated if you like, or you can connnect them.

:thumbsup

Well said ... we have regular ... very regular threesomes, with a specific girl and we totally disconnect sex with love ...

Some people can't deal or accept that ... I understand that it can cause problems ... but it doesn't cause problems for us ... so therefore, I can see both sides ....

I dunno. It's all good fun :)

After Shock Media 06-14-2007 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eric (Post 12601066)
Didn't ruin mine

Had to be another girl, cause if its with your current I soooo would want to know how the guy qualified :winkwink:

badmunchkin 06-14-2007 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kane (Post 12597351)
I'm sure a guy like Dr. Drew who has spent years and years working with people who have addiction and emotional problems really doesn't know what he is talking about.

You are right, we are all individuals, but in the end most people are just part of the herd. I don't mean that in a bad way (so to speak) I just mean that there are certain things that are true most of the time with people. For example they will have someone call in who has chaos in their life and can't stay in a relationship and almost every time that person suffered some kinds of abuse. After a while patterns emerge. When Dr. Drew says something about someone it is because the evidence points to that being the case. It is the old " if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck" idea. There are some cases where these blanket statements don't apply, but for the most part he is almost always right.

As for the threesomes. I would say there is about a 95% chance it will end your relationship. There are a very small number of people who can separate sex from emotion, but not very many. In the end there will be questioning and jealousy and it will lead to a demise in the relationship.

more evolved people don't need to follow these same herd-like patterns :2 cents: some of my best and longest relationships were open and threesomes and/or swinging was never the cause of our problems - people in monogamous relationships still cheat and instead lie about it which ends the relationship - the real point of everything is relationships END - and people are starting to realize that nothing lasts forever - when you are unhappy in a relationship, yes, it makes more sense to move on instead of staying with someone your whole life who you're miserable with...

As the world and humans continue to evolve there will be more sexual openness, less traditional relationships, more non-conventional situations - monogamy is not natural to humans - it is based on cultural norms - it is not natural and ultimately will be wiped out and become an oddity in society. Already being sexually open is much more accepted then 50 years ago. This is where we are headed - pyschology is based on the norms of the day - remember when homosexuality was supposed to be a mental illness? If Dr Drew were 50 years older he would have been one of the guys spouting that line. Times are a'changing - threesomes and moresomes are good fun and there's nothing but invisible barriers in your mind that are stopping you from enjoying life to it's fullest. :2 cents::thumbsup

badmunchkin 06-14-2007 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fluffygrrl (Post 12597105)
hey, can't we make it so i got to read this thread before you and posted that first ?

great minds and all :winkwink: fiddy!

Scroto 06-14-2007 07:19 PM

im available for testing... :thumbsup

IntenseAmber 06-14-2007 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shey (Post 12596876)
Wait, I just saw your nick...You're a girl? If so do YOU want to?

Because if you're just doing it to make him happy but you are not really into it then YES it WILL end your relationship. :2 cents:

I'm a freak, I get off on watching my man with other girls but not everyone is like that.

It's something we have just talked about. I don't know if either of us are ready to make that decision yet. But I greatly appreciate your insight. Oh, yeah, sorry, I am a girl :1orglaugh

kane 06-15-2007 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badmunchkin (Post 12601941)
more evolved people don't need to follow these same herd-like patterns :2 cents: some of my best and longest relationships were open and threesomes and/or swinging was never the cause of our problems - people in monogamous relationships still cheat and instead lie about it which ends the relationship - the real point of everything is relationships END - and people are starting to realize that nothing lasts forever - when you are unhappy in a relationship, yes, it makes more sense to move on instead of staying with someone your whole life who you're miserable with...

As the world and humans continue to evolve there will be more sexual openness, less traditional relationships, more non-conventional situations - monogamy is not natural to humans - it is based on cultural norms - it is not natural and ultimately will be wiped out and become an oddity in society. Already being sexually open is much more accepted then 50 years ago. This is where we are headed - pyschology is based on the norms of the day - remember when homosexuality was supposed to be a mental illness? If Dr Drew were 50 years older he would have been one of the guys spouting that line. Times are a'changing - threesomes and moresomes are good fun and there's nothing but invisible barriers in your mind that are stopping you from enjoying life to it's fullest. :2 cents::thumbsup

I agree with much of what you are saying. I agree that humans are typically not meant to be monogomas. I think some people can be in a relationship with the same person for years and years and be happy, but most of us cannot. Also you are right, sexuality is getting to be more and more open as is happiness in a relationship. I would say the divorce rate now shows that. People are unhappy in a marriage and they leave where 50 years ago they just stayed and remained miserable.

However, none of this goes to the root question. Do threesomes destroy relationships? The answers is almost always yes. Dr. Drew, I think, isn't spouting the mantra of the day. If you spend a long time seeing people with problems eventually you see patterns. It is a numbers game. If you interview 1000 girls that lost their virginity at a very young age or started experimenting sexually at a very young age and 980 of them have some kind of abuse in their past, you start to see the pattern and it is fair to speculate when a girl tells you she lost her virginity at 12 that she was abused. She may be one of the few that don't fit the pattern, but most likely she is. The same goes for threesomes. If you talk to 1000 couples that had a threesome and 950 of them ended up breaking up you can say with some authority that threesomes help cause break-ups. More realistically, and I think most doctors agree with this, there were problems in the relationship before the threesome ever came into play and the threesome ends up just being a catalyst for the end. After all, as you said, all relationships eventually end. People do crazy things to try to hold on to relationships. They have kids, change jobs, move, change who they are and all kinds of stuff. Having a threesome is often just one of those things.

I think there may be a time 1000's of years from now where people can be sexually open. A couple can have a committed relationship but still have a threesome or swing every now and then and have it not affect their relationship. That said, in the end we are still jealous animals and we get emotionally involved with each other so that hurdle will be a very difficult one for most people to get past.

SleazyDream 06-15-2007 01:28 AM

if skufty watches and touches me at some point does it count as a threesome?

Sarah_Jayne 06-15-2007 02:32 AM

Threesomes end already weak relationships..even if the weakness isn't noticed beforehand. Trust me, a relationship can survive, threesomes, foursomes, orgies, etc...IF and only if the relationship is strong beforehand and it is done on equal terms.

calibra 06-15-2007 03:06 AM

I can't imagine somebody fucking my wife next to me. I'd shoot both.

CIVMatt 06-15-2007 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna_Miller (Post 12600670)
You know, I'm disappointed with how conservative Dr Drew is. I've heard him say some strange things. Like if you start masturbating at a young age it means something was wrong with your home life. Yeah, whatever. Ok, sorry I got off topic.

My husband and I have been swinging for over 10 years. Even before we got married. We have had lots of 3somes and obviously it hasn't ruined our relationship. 3somes and swinging to us are fun adventures. We find people we like & play with them. They are playmates. My husband is my lifemate.

That being said. I don't think everyone is cut out for swinging. If you are insecure or a jealous type it probably won't work out for you. If explore swinging/3somes to fulfill something missing in your relationship, that is also bad. So, the you got drunk with a friend and all played around could go either way. lol

I have found that you have to communicate a lot about feelings you stir up so you know how each other feel and work so that you are both comfortable and having fun. But if you can be open and communicate and keep it as a full extra activity for both of you, then it can be LOTS of fun. :2 cents:


Kel & I soooooo need to come work with you

DaddyHalbucks 06-15-2007 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stickyfingerz (Post 12597106)
If you cant separate love and sex, then yes you will have problems. We have no problem with it, and have had many threesomes. Not a big dealio.

Sorry, love and sex are hopelessly intertwined. That is why threesomes are so much trouble.


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