does the "porn" thing follow you around?

[webmasterchecks]

last 2-3 times i met a girl at a party or some other place where i may have had some friends around, it was like, my friends talked to her friends at some point in the night and i was later confronted with "i heard you work in the porn industry" and on the spot, i had to come up with an answer.

if you hang around non-industry friends, you have the "cool porn job" and when people describe you, thats their first point because its an exciting and revealing topic

definitely a setback because you dont have your opportunity to present it in your own terms, and its biased because its told in a sensationalistic way

[amateurcanada]

Haha, i get that lots - and most women are turned off by it. Then you get the ones that say its ok and there dynamite women and a year down the road its not ok and your history hahahaha. *tear*, can I make a withdawl please lol.

[nico-t]

yea had that happen to me a couple of times

[gornyhuy]

I don't tell anyone. Too much hassle.

[Barefootsies]

Originally Posted by webmasterchecks

last 2-3 times i met a girl at a party or some other place where i may have had some friends around, it was like, my friends talked to her friends at some point in the night and i was later confronted with "i heard you work in the porn industry" and on the spot, i had to come up with an answer.

if you hang around non-industry friends, you have the "cool porn job" and when people describe you, thats their first point because its an exciting and revealing topic

definitely a setback because you dont have your opportunity to present it in your own terms, and its biased because its told in a sensationalistic way

To a degree yes.

However, when people ask, I just blow it off. Explaining "porn" is a subjective term. Then explain what I do, and then take it from there.

It's never given me a 'sigma' or prevented me from something if that's what you are getting at.

I get that all the time. Mostly my friends that are girls are the first to bing it up. "This is Derek...He's a Porn Master!".

It doesn't bug me at all. If people are that uptight, I don't want to know them anyways

[webmasterchecks]

Originally Posted by shermsshack

I get that all the time. Mostly my friends that are girls are the first to bing it up. "This is Derek...He's a Porn Master!".

It doesn't bug me at all. If people are that uptight, I don't want to know them anyways

sure, but chicks scare off easily and the first impression in their head may be that you are a porn star and it turns most chicks off

but your married, so i guess its not much of an issue

[tony286]

Tell them no your really in the financial industry.

[Fred Quimby]

Let me give you some PR advice.

The less you tell people. The more they want to know.

[k0nr4d]

With me its so bad most people call me "pornrad"...

[sicone]

It happens all the time, it doenst bother me... I'm proud of what I do.

I'm also up front about with people I talk with, if it bugs them, they at least have the knowledge already and can make the decision of if they can deal with it or not.

[JP513]

Originally Posted by gornyhuy

I don't tell anyone. Too much hassle.

I'm with gornyhuy! Only a very, very few friends know. And they know I don't tell so they don't tell. And it works fine too because the friends that know, generally don't know any of my other friends or my family.

[Turboface]

It seems that most people that I tell what I do want me to build a website for them, and I really don't have time to be working on anyone's sites besides my own.

From now on, I'm telling people I am unemployed.

[uno]

I get that more than anything. It's the only thing even high school friends really ask me about or ask others about in re: to me. Kind of sad for them.

[BlackCrayon]

Yes, i had that problem when i lived in my hometown. I told a few friends and suddenly the guy pumping my gas knew what i did for a living. It didn't bother me but what did bother me is whenever my friends would introduce me to a girl, thats the first thing they would mention about me. Of course i wouldn't want a girl that had a problem with it but its not exactly the first impression i was seeking. I haven't been single in a while so that is not a concern and i no longer live in my small hometown but a large city, so i can kind of "do over" who i decide to let know, even though now i make more money through my mainstream ventures than adult at the current time.

[LiveDose]

Yeah and the best response is 'yes, I've done a bunch of movies'...

[Pornwolf]

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

[Dirty Dane]

Show them the money and they shut up.

[Danny B]

People know what I do. They don't care.

I got into the bizz while i had a girlfriend. i stall have that girlfriend. She doesn't care.

My folks have 2 sons. Both in the bizz. They are happy as long as we are. So they don't care.

I've had the luck to be born and raised in holland in a family where there are no taboos on this issue. i understand that people in other sircumstances cope with it differently and they should.

[g$$$]

tell them u work for an "internet startup"

[AaronM]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

Probably the best response this thread will get.

[Neal]

Jeez i thought it was a big secret but as soon as one of your mates knows you may as well take out a full page ad in the papers..

Guys think it's the best job in the world and most girls look at you as if you had just emerged from under a rock..

Now why can't it be the other way round.. :-)

[StarkReality]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

Great post, I have a mainstream business as well and you never know what opportunities may arise in the future. Let's say you have a great mainstream idea, you rise funds, get investors...and one day some newspaper writes about the "former pervert"...not a positive reference.

[D]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

Solid words.

[rotowa85]

you lot think you have it bad, try having ya mates tell ppl that you run a fucking brothel, that causes some raised eyebrows ill tell ya

[BigCashCrew]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

BINGO. You hit the nail right on the head.

[webmasterchecks]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

as the others said, great post

its certainly becoming more of an issue as i get older, its funny how my response always has to do with "i dont do porn, baby, i have clients such as "insert names of 2 non-adult clients that compose of 2% of my business" as well, we have all sorts of clients!"

then when i the chick gives me a suspicious look, i just smile as warmly as i can

[Iron Fist]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

There you go... from one 30-something pornmaster to another, awesome post.

[potter]

Yeah, that's all I hear from my friends back in Chicago. So every time I visit and there is someone new hanging around I get the "So you're in the Porn Biz?". I usually just throw back some smug answer like "Yeah, I like working with naked people" and then wander off somewhere else. It's all a bunch of 20-30 year olds so everyone thinks it's the coolest thing ever.

However here in Colorado when I'm dealing with older people on my pool league, Girlfriend's family, etc etc. I just tell them I'm in "Web Design". It's not lying, and it's certainly easier than explaining my place in the adult industry. Plus, avoiding the whole stigma to "porn" can sometimes be easier.

[*ViolentPete*]

the only thing that follow VP is his shadow

believe it

[tranza]

Happened to me all the time when I was living in Atlanta.

But it's not an issue here in Brazil.

Different cultures...

[fbrtopic]

Originally Posted by amateurcanada

Haha, i get that lots - and most women are turned off by it.

I think you are missing something else man. Women LOVE the porn thing. I have never once had an abreaction from women about it, they swoon when I tell them. It gives you the "bad boy" heir.

[phasic]

I get this a lot, but I am in college so the guys see it as "cool" but half the girls see it as "sinish" because Im in the bible belt.

[munki]

lol... my non indy friends use me and my job to help them pull chicks

[Randyyy]

i dont see what the big deal is

[IntenseAmber]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

I'm guessing you guys are still in your early 20's or younger.

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

Honestly I'm glad you posted this. I'm new to the industry and am already running into issues

[Wizzo]

Deny it and tell them your a church counselor, then a few mintutes later tell them you really do sell porn, and always seems not so bad then...haha

[Jimmy Rock]

Every time i go out that happens, I guess that's a way my guy freinds try to cock block me but it always backfires casue the chcicks think I'm some kind of badboy or something, but yes does suck if you want a relationship

[TheAmericanCannibal]

Hangs around me like a chili fart...
I can't escape my "Scarlett Letter"

I even told Dr. Phil that.
:-))

[Pornwolf]

First thing you guys should do: setup a corporation... LLC... have all checks sent and paid to that.

There's other ways to keep your name clean, but that's just the most basic one that surprisingly is missed by a lot of webmasters.

[JP513]

Originally Posted by Pornwolf

Take a tip: Keep your mouth shut. You are an internet marketer.

Young people are more understanding than older ones. Once you get over 25 you will notice that stigma being detrimental to your professional life as well. You won't want to be doing adult all of your life. Or, you may want to diversify and the smut stigma WILL get in the way.

No one has to know what you do.

I totally agree with Pornwolf on this. The stigma caused over the long term could damage you . . . unless u plan to stay in adult the rest of your life.

True, you don't want to necessarily have as your best friends the type of people who are judgmental and derisive about the industry . . . but there will be instances in your life where those (publicly) anti-porn people will be in a position to either harm you or help you. You don't want to miss an opportunity--business, social or otherwise--to pass you buy simply because you were/are in porn.

You're in marketing. Internet marketing.

[PornMogul]

I JUST thought of this today and weird you made a topic about it lol

[_Richard_]

yep, this has happened to me a couple times!

[webmasterchecks]

Originally Posted by PornMogul

I JUST thought of this today and weird you made a topic about it lol

im one step ahead, i made it yesterday

[Violetta]

not many know of it, since I have another fulltime job.

[Walrus]

I think telling people you're into "Internet Marketing" raises eyebrows too. They say "what's that?" And then I usually tell them that "I send traffic to sites like, you know, that Phoenix College you often see, and make commission sales if people sign up." I then explain "there are other products too, and they are called "leads."" I sometimes wonder if they even believe that. But truth be told, I have dabbled in mainstream. So not a total lie.

One guy who I talk to at the pizza restaurant that I often talk to replied "You got a big old porn site" after I told him that "I work from home." Seriously, that's all it took and the guy thought I was in porn.

It's frustrating, and this is the single biggest issue about working in this biz. I hate this part. Unfortunately I told some family members the truth. I should NEVER have done that. At the time I didn't realize how religious my sister and brother-in-law had become. They havent' commented on it, but I bet they look down on it. And I hate knowing if anyone is secretly looking down on me. So fucking hypocritical. They can go out and rent a porn movie, but it's not okay for anyone they know to work in adult.

I should have told EVERYONE from the beginning that I'm a Web Designer. I honestly think that would have been the best idea. I'm not very good at design, but I have done it. So it wouldn't be a total lie. But if anyone I met was a web designer and asked specifics I probably wouldn't be able to tell them.

My aunt and uncle are coming over from England this summer. They are in their 60s. Why I ever told my uncle what I do is beyond me. They are prudes. But when someone looks you directly in the eye and asks specifially what you are doing, and what it is you're promoting I find it very hard to lie. At that time I did anyway. Maybe now I would be able to say differntly. I think I have a tendency to believe that people will think I'm a good person for being who I am. And not what job I'm doing. That's not how it works though. This "stigma" kills me, it really does. But I can't forsee myself working a regular job anytime soon. I'm so used to working from home now.

[geedub]

my jerk friends are always spamming what i do to people

[zeruel]

not much... just work and sometimes if my friends get fun of it...

[xlogger]

shit...i tell everyonei know, i don't careeeeeeee

[JP513]

Originally Posted by Walrus

I think telling people you're into "Internet Marketing" raises eyebrows too. They say "what's that?" And then I usually tell them that "I send traffic to sites like, you know, that Phoenix College you often see, and make commission sales if people sign up." I then explain "there are other products too, and they are called "leads."" I sometimes wonder if they even believe that. But truth be told, I have dabbled in mainstream. So not a total lie.

One guy who I talk to at the pizza restaurant that I often talk to replied "You got a big old porn site" after I told him that "I work from home." Seriously, that's all it took and the guy thought I was in porn.

It's frustrating, and this is the single biggest issue about working in this biz. I hate this part. Unfortunately I told some family members the truth. I should NEVER have done that. At the time I didn't realize how religious my sister and brother-in-law had become. They havent' commented on it, but I bet they look down on it. And I hate knowing if anyone is secretly looking down on me. So fucking hypocritical. They can go out and rent a porn movie, but it's not okay for anyone they know to work in adult.

I should have told EVERYONE from the beginning that I'm a Web Designer. I honestly think that would have been the best idea. I'm not very good at design, but I have done it. So it wouldn't be a total lie. But if anyone I met was a web designer and asked specifics I probably wouldn't be able to tell them.

My aunt and uncle are coming over from England this summer. They are in their 60s. Why I ever told my uncle what I do is beyond me. They are prudes. But when someone looks you directly in the eye and asks specifially what you are doing, and what it is you're promoting I find it very hard to lie. At that time I did anyway. Maybe now I would be able to say differntly. I think I have a tendency to believe that people will think I'm a good person for being who I am. And not what job I'm doing. That's not how it works though. This "stigma" kills me, it really does. But I can't forsee myself working a regular job anytime soon. I'm so used to working from home now.

Hey man . . . Walrus, I really enjoyed and appreciate you taking the time to write this thoughtful post.