Dammit ! The Only Thing About Having 5 Blades For Shaving

ouch.. gotta watch the single back blade too... will catch your fingers if your not paying attention

watch out man. that thing looks dangerous. you could slice your head off with that weapon.

That is the price we must pay to get the closest shave possible.

That was too close...

Do those things fit on the old Gillette (Four blade) handles?

if i'd have to guess, i'd say no

They can fuck off then - I'm not buying another one.

I'm not tight - but it's a bloody rip......

Ive never had a prob with the 5 blades cutting me 5 times either, photos plz

cheers

You got to be really careful when shaving your balls

I wouldn't DARE go near my balls with that thing !!

oh wait, if its pics of your balls with 5 blade cuts i will pass, but if you have 5 cuts on your face i wanna see proof, ive never even heard of anyone getting 5 cuts at once from these razors, proof plz, i swear by these razors, cleanest shave ever, its the electric razors that fuck with my skin and make it itchy as hell the next day and i end up scratching it raw.

cheers

Just imagine the kind of damage Al Queda could do with that thing!

LOL ! You think i would lie about cutting myself.

I don't have the cam with me just now, but i'll tell her to bring it over later. The cuts should still be visable.

I accidently pressed in too hard, so i gave myself 5 perfect cuts, the same size as each blade... As 'Jake The Snake' used to say "trust me"...

thats funny and horible at same time, ive had 1 cut at a time b4 (everyone has), but i think my wife would piss herself laughing at me if had 5 going at once, better luck next time

Yup, fuck the electric shit, it's shaving for whimps...although I wonder when the first 12 blade razor "Bloody Dozen" hits the stores...

hahaha

Damn kids learning to shave for the first time! Get your dad to teach you!

Too bad when sponsors shave... it's only the little people like me that are left bleeding.

haha... what a monster!

yeah.................i have to be very careful next time

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades.

Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe. Let's make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!

You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a shit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game. Are they the best a man can get? Fuck, no. Gillette is the best a man can get.

What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fucking razor that ever existed. Comprende? We didn't claw our way to the top of the razor game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard. We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.

Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my ass with it. They don't tell me what to invent—I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there. I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!

You're taking the "safety" part of "safety razor" too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let's hit it. Let's roll. This is our chance to make razor history. Let's dream big. All you have to do is say that five blades can happen, and it will happen. If you aren't on board, then fuck you. And if you're on the board, then fuck you and your father. Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade razor becomes the shaving tool for the U.S. of "this is how we shave now" A.

People said we couldn't go to three. It'll cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it. Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "Five's crazy?" Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Norelco, working on fucking electrics. Rotary blades, my white ass!

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should just ride in Bic's wake and make pens. Ha! Not on your fucking life! The day I shadow a penny-ante outfit like Bic is the day I leave the razor game for good, and that won't happen until the day I die!

The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle. It's as easy as, "Hey, shaving with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet." Or "You'll be so smooth, I could snort lines off of your chin." Try "Your neck is going to be so friggin' soft, someone's gonna walk up and tie a goddamn Cub Scout kerchief under it."

I know what you're thinking now: What'll people say? Mew mew mew. Oh, no, what will people say?! Grow the fuck up. When you're on top, people talk. That's the price you pay for being on top. Which Gillette is, always has been, and forever shall be, Amen, five blades, sweet Jesus in heaven.

Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fucker, too. That's right. Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard me—the second strip lathers. It's a whole new way to think about shaving. Don't question it. Don't say a word. Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edge—the razor's edge—and I feel like dancing.

I haven't cut myself with the Fusion yet, but I did a few times with the Mach 3... those little 3 line cuts look pretty funny

FWIW I have been using the Fusion on my balls too with no problems.

Another reason why I use a safety razor. That and it is so much cheaper.

Only time I see people with cuts from new razors is when they go sideways a bit.

I use an electric, mostly because I can touch up real quick if i am going out at night. the first week it iritated my face, but now its all good, and if I use a razor it iritates my face and feels like I havent even shaved, I sear the electric gets a closer shave.

I completely suck at shaving. My facial hair all grows in completely different directions and even swirls.

Looks familiar.

Now that is alot of blades..

oh that was GOOD!

That Onion article is great.

Me, I thought 2 blades was just fine. When it went to 3 I said "yeah, whatever".... but the parents gave me one for Christmas that year (the mach 3) so I've been using that ever since. I find it insane that a pack of 4 cartriges of blades costs like $16+ dollars. Used to be a time when you could buy a pack of blade refills for a couple bucks at most.

But fuck it, the 4 and 5 blade jobbies they have out now are retarded and out of the question as far as I'm concerned. I have the 3-blade one, and that's it. No more of this bullshit for me.

i have a mach 3 turbo, pretty cool.

That article was pure white gold.

Ouch! 5 separate cuts?

Maybe you moved the blade sideways? Don't do that. :P

I'm sticking with my Mach3. It does the job just fine.

Yup, mine is the same. It's so damn harsh aswell, yet i see other people with soft looking facial hair (that sounds gay) .



I did...

same here man, the 3 blade one always did a fine job before, and the blades are cheaper now