jimmy and the roster - GoFuckYourself.com

Grapesoda · 04-18-2007, 07:05 PM

Jimmy was a gentleman farmer who ran a fertilized egg business along with growing small crops of peanuts and grains.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so Jimmy could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Old Butch always followed the farmer around and watched and immitated whatever he was doing. Thus old Butch

became the farmer's favorite rooster.

But on this particular morning Jimmy noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all and went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
But to Farmer Jimmy's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
Jimmy was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Plains, GA County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the

Pulletsurprise as well.

See, Jimmy was a politician too and old Butch had watched and learned from Jimmy for many years.

Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

04-18-2007, 07:05 PM	#1
Grapesoda So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Montana Posts: 46,238	jimmy and the roster Jimmy was a gentleman farmer who ran a fertilized egg business along with growing small crops of peanuts and grains. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks). The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Jimmy could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. Old Butch always followed the farmer around and watched and immitated whatever he was doing. Thus old Butch became the farmer's favorite rooster. But on this particular morning Jimmy noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all and went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer Jimmy's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Jimmy was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Plains, GA County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. See, Jimmy was a politician too and old Butch had watched and learned from Jimmy for many years. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?