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Old 04-07-2007, 10:01 AM   #1
Musson
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Thought this was funny
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

6:00am - At last! I go pee! My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly dem onstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
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Old 04-07-2007, 10:03 AM   #2
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Old 04-07-2007, 10:04 AM   #3
az_bobby
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haha thats pretty good
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Old 04-07-2007, 10:04 AM   #4
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A cat informant gathering information for the feline overlords is nothing new.
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Old 04-07-2007, 10:08 AM   #5
Marcus Aurelius
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sounds like my cat, and yeah, my dog is retarded.
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Old 04-07-2007, 10:16 AM   #6
amandaspost
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Thats awesome
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:32 AM   #7
MARVAS
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HAHAHAHAHA it was funny!! You made my day!!!
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:41 AM   #8
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Funny stuff, a lot of truth in that
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:48 AM   #9
TrendSetter
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Some of the reasons why I hate cats been mentioned:foolish,suspicious,"allergic"...
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:18 AM   #10
zibril
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lol......
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:20 AM   #11
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funny shit
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Old 04-08-2007, 09:23 PM   #12
LittleSassy
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that was cute...
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:31 PM   #13
HeavenLeeGoddess
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I Love that
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:33 PM   #14
WWC
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hahahaha..thats My Favorite Thing....
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:41 PM   #15
D
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funny stuff!
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:42 PM   #16
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too funny LOL
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:43 PM   #17
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ahahahaha thats great
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:56 PM   #18
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Now I'll think of my cat's opinion about my actions... hahaha....
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:01 PM   #19
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That was great... and true
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:15 PM   #20
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hahaha.... Pretty cool
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:16 PM   #21
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That's a good one
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:38 PM   #22
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Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
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Old 04-11-2007, 10:04 AM   #23
Musson
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i am glad that you like it.
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Old 04-11-2007, 10:18 AM   #24
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lmao
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Old 04-11-2007, 12:27 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Musson View Post
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly dem onstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
This is the exact characteristic of my cat!
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Old 04-11-2007, 01:18 PM   #26
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omg.. lol! nice one!!!
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Old 04-11-2007, 01:23 PM   #27
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I need help in english language. where can i find this cat?! Lol
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Old 04-11-2007, 01:37 PM   #28
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that makes my day!
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