Taking bets on that joke winning, any takers? :1orglaugh

A guy walks into a bar carrying a brown paper bag.

He sits on a stool at the bar and ask the bartender for a drink.

As the bartender brings the guy his drink, he reaches into his paper bag and pulls out a tiny piano. Sits it on the bar. Reaches back into the bag and pulls out an equally small bench seat.

Amazed, the bartender looks at it and ask if it really works.

Without saying a word the guy reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny little man about a foot tall. He sets the little man down and he goes right to his piano and starts playing an rousing refrain of cer' dulac.

The bartender just astonished asks the guy, "Where in gods name did you get a little man and a little piano??"

The guy reaches once again into his paper bag and pulls out a genies lamp.

"I found this and I rubbed it and a Genie came out, he gave me one wish."

The bartenders eyes widened and he says, "Ill buy all your drinks tonight if you let me make a wish!"

The guy gives the bartender the lamp and the bartender immediatly starts rubbing the lamp to get the genie to come out.

With a whoosh the genie emerges in a puff of blue smoke.

"You have released me, I shall grant you one wish!" said the genie.

Without hesitating, the bartender blurts out, " I WANT A MILLION BUCKS!"

The genie claps his hands and says, " Your wish is my command!" and as quick as he whooshed in, he was gone, back into his lamp.

So there they both sit. No stack of cash.

But then a duck walks in..... and another....and another.....they just keep piling in.

Soon the whole bar is riddled with ducks....quacking everywhere. Feathers and bills gaggling about.

The bartender, getting a bit perturbed looks at the guy and says, "Man, I think your genie is deaf as shit, I dont want all these fuckin ducks in here!!"


The guy looks at him equally disgruntled and says....


NO SHIT!! You really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?!?!

Did you hear about the gay burgler? After he blew the safe he went down on the elevator...

lol, that is so fucked up:1orglaugh

This is a great thread to bring laughter to win a contest Scooter. Nice to see!

Scooter will also act as a personal body guard to anyone that touches you!

My dick is bigger than yours. In fact, my dick is so big that it has its own dick and even his dick is bigger than yours!

Winners Here:
 

Man and a boy walk into the forest, its dark and there's a full moon. The little boy shivers with fear and says to the man: "Sir, I am really really scared".

The man looks down to the kid and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."


What's a nose's favorite place to eat?

BUGGAR KING

I know I won!
 

The first jokes dark and you are supposed to go "ohhh thats terrible", then I come back with a 3rd grader joke and you are forced to laugh since the other joke was so bad.

I don't need a ticket, I'll be there. Give it to a someone who needs it.
GREAT THREAD BTW!!!!!

A Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"

First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange."

The second little boy says"Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."

Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks "Does a fart have lumps?"

The teacher looks horrified and says "Johnny! Of course not!!!"

"OK. Then I DEFINITELY shit my pants."

Thats a goodie

hmmm, I thought this ended about 5 1/2 hours ago. Where are our winners?

BTW, who won? or are jokes still being accepted?

my thoughts exactly....inquiring minds want to know :winkwink:

2 jokes.

Joke #1 - .XXX

Joke #2 - Acacia

Let me know when I've won this officially.

Double Winner hands down :bowdown

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Thanks everyone for playing ? the 2 that made me laugh the most was from

DamageX

Deej

Get your Info to me ASAP Scott @ Camz or ICQ 408813




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Why is Kansas so Windy???

Cuz Oklahoma sucks......

not really a Joke, but will be funny!

Hey Deja, How do those Shrimp Tails Taste!
Crunch Crunch!!

Awesome, Im there...


contacting you now

congrats to the winners . . . knew mine was too accurate to win.

Whatya talkin about, mine was based totally on a true story

I know, I read it in a history book about 45 years ago ;p

Fucking books :mad:

ahahahaha

Not so politically correct:

What do you tell your wife when she comes to you with 2 black eyes?


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Nothing... You already told that bitch twice!

I like that one! :1orglaugh

DamageX I need your Info ..


If not I will have to pick someone else.:thumbsup

I'm trying to get a hold of you on ICQ. Mine's 1566665 if you don't see any message from me.