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Splum

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#1

Bones of JESUS found! Christians SHOCKED!

02-24-2007, 09:34 PM

I am dead serious this is not a fake post to drum up drama, Christians on Monday around the world will be shocked when James Cameron has a press conference and shows DNA proof that he has found the bones of Jesus and his entire family.

http://time-blog.com/middle_east/200...the_crypt.html

In a new documentary, Producer Cameron and his director, Simcha Jacobovici, make the starting claim that Jesus wasn't resurrected --the cornerstone of Christian faith-- and that his burial cave was discovered near Jerusalem. And, get this, Jesus sired a son with Mary Magdelene.
Let's go back 27 years, when Israeli construction workers were gouging out the foundations for a new building in the industrial park in the Talpiyot, a Jerusalem suburb. of Jerusalem. The earth gave way, revealing a 2,000 year old cave with 10 stone caskets. Archologists were summoned, and the stone caskets carted away for examination. It took 20 years for experts to decipher the names on the ten tombs. They were: Jesua, son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Mathew, Jofa and Judah, son of Jesua.
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notabook

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#2

02-24-2007, 09:39 PM

Satan placed them there to test our faith.
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#3

02-24-2007, 09:42 PM

See. I knew Jesus wasn't resurrected. But did anyone listen to me? NOOoooooooOOO.

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#4

02-24-2007, 09:43 PM

Bad week to be pope.
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#5

02-24-2007, 09:44 PM

true
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#6

02-24-2007, 09:48 PM

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

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#7

02-24-2007, 09:51 PM

Wow, I have to say I'm really looking forward to seeing this documentary. If you've ever read Holy Blood, Holy Grail and The Jesus Papers by Michael Baigent he makes very similar claims. The Da Vinci Code really ripped off a lot of the research Baigent did for Holy Blood, Holy Grail and he unsuccessfully sued Dan Brown over it.

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#8

02-24-2007, 09:52 PM

and then the lord said... "THOU SHALL HAVETH SIG SPOT"

“If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”
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#9

02-24-2007, 09:52 PM

Originally posted by RedShoe

See. I knew Jesus wasn't resurrected. But did anyone listen to me? NOOoooooooOOO.

hahahaha
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#10

02-24-2007, 09:53 PM

Even if this thing pans out to be what they say it is, and survives professional peer review, the fundamentalists will never accept it. Notabook has hit this one on the nose:

"Satan placed them there to test our faith."

If these idiots can't accept thousands upon thousands of million(s) year bones sitting in the Smithsonian, if they think a cave with 2000 year old dead people is going to change the fanatics, they're unfortunately too optimistic.
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#11

02-24-2007, 10:19 PM

JAmes cameron really scores first titanic then this
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#12

02-24-2007, 10:27 PM

You are going to hell for posting this.

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#13

02-24-2007, 10:33 PM

Well humpy dumpy.
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#14

02-24-2007, 10:35 PM

just pulled out my umbrella for all the bullsh*t thats going to start flying around after monday. I see a war coming...

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#15

02-24-2007, 10:39 PM

i have always thought the anti-christ was going to end up being someone who proves jesus was a fake.. and that judegment day was nothing more than christians having to come to the realisation that it was just a guide not a true story

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#16

02-24-2007, 10:44 PM

LOL.. the "debate" is already raging in the comment section of that article.. Fun times..
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#17

02-24-2007, 10:54 PM

How do they know his DNA?
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#18

02-24-2007, 10:55 PM

Speculation

Well it's all speculation

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#19

02-24-2007, 11:40 PM

seems very soon new film directed by cameron will out.

guess the name:

"Jesus-2. Judgement Day"
"Titanic-2. Back from the deep"

etc...

joking - but seriously - here possible load of violence between confessions based at this bullshit.

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#20

02-25-2007, 12:36 AM

What the fuck ever -
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#21

02-25-2007, 01:10 AM

Found bones doesnt mean anything.Who knows who can that be actualy.
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#22

02-25-2007, 01:38 AM

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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#23

02-25-2007, 01:45 AM

i would cook a good soup ot of the bone
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#24

02-25-2007, 01:50 AM

Originally posted by bobby666

i would cook a good soup ot of the bone

Jesus Soup....yummy!

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#25

02-25-2007, 01:57 AM

That's blasphemy!!!!
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#26

02-25-2007, 01:58 AM

Originally posted by KingK7

That's blasphemy!!!!

But still quite tasty

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#27

02-25-2007, 02:03 AM

Interesting article but i don`t believe a word!I`m curios what james cameron has to say about this..Titanic was interesting and maybe believable but this is too much!

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#28

02-25-2007, 02:54 AM

Bout time - maybe now we can get back to having all the gods in religion the masses really want - hail Zeus!!!!

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#29

02-25-2007, 03:00 AM

this is gonna be fun
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#30

02-25-2007, 03:36 AM

If we have Jesus' DNA there is only one thing to do. Save it for future cloning.

This film is gonna be as bad as "Exodus Decoded".

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#31

02-25-2007, 03:48 AM

Originally posted by Dirty Dane

How do they know his DNA?

True.. how do get DNA and then say it is Jesus'? I don't think Jesus was God, but man... this is pretty dumb. They will probably try to link the DNA on the bones with maybe something else claimed to be Jesus'.
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#32

02-25-2007, 03:51 AM

Originally posted by Dirty Dane

How do they know his DNA?

That was my first thought.

Do we already have a sample of his DNA to do a comparison to or something? And if we do... why do we need this new sample?

Were they doing DNA sampling 2000 years ago, and storing it in mainframes for later comparison? Perhaps his finger prints are on file as well?

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#33

02-25-2007, 04:01 AM

now if he can find mahomos bones we can put an end to this crap and all be jews . . .
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#34

02-25-2007, 04:38 AM

Every time I eat Jesus Soup baby Allah cries...

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#35

02-25-2007, 05:15 AM

hard to find the bones of Jesus, it would be like saying you found the bones of Superman or Capt Crunch.
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#36

02-25-2007, 05:41 AM

Originally posted by Splum

I am dead serious this is not a fake post to drum up drama, Christians on Monday around the world will be shocked when James Cameron has a press conference and shows DNA proof that he has found the bones of Jesus and his entire family.

http://time-blog.com/middle_east/200...the_crypt.html

Repent your sins you heathen! And stop posting blasphemous thread you heretic!
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#37

02-25-2007, 05:43 AM

Originally posted by StuartD

That was my first thought.

Do we already have a sample of his DNA to do a comparison to or something? And if we do... why do we need this new sample?

Were they doing DNA sampling 2000 years ago, and storing it in mainframes for later comparison? Perhaps his finger prints are on file as well?

"Shroud of Turin"

Google it, asswipe.
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#38

02-25-2007, 05:46 AM

Originally posted by StuartD

That was my first thought.

Do we already have a sample of his DNA to do a comparison to or something? And if we do... why do we need this new sample?

Were they doing DNA sampling 2000 years ago, and storing it in mainframes for later comparison? Perhaps his finger prints are on file as well?

they could clone jesus and bring him back to life!!! but why stop there, you could produce a whole army of them1!!!!

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#39

02-25-2007, 06:43 AM

Originally posted by pornopete

The best part is a movie producer made the discoveries!

sorta like they found the alien bodies from area 54? and al capons vault?
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Splum

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#40

02-25-2007, 07:23 AM

Originally posted by IllTestYourGirls

hard to find the bones of Jesus, it would be like saying you found the bones of Superman or Capt Crunch.

Are you dense? Jesus the man truly existed idiot. Are you sure you are old enough to comment in this thread? Either that or I suggest you lay off the drugs.
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#41

02-25-2007, 07:24 AM

Originally posted by goldmine

Repent your sins you heathen! And stop posting blasphemous thread you heretic!

I have atoned for my sins and will continue to do so. I find your humor perplexing but then again most atheists arent very funny people anyways. Hell how can they be when they believe in nothing.
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Splum

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#42

02-25-2007, 07:26 AM

Originally posted by DarkJedi

"Shroud of Turin" Google it, asswipe.

We dont know for a fact that is Jesus burial shroud, according to scientists the shroud couldnt possibly have covered Jesus body as it wasnt from the same period of time when he died. Shrug.
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Splum

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#43

02-25-2007, 07:29 AM

Originally posted by pornopete

The best part is a movie producer made the discoveries!

Actually Cameron didnt find the bodies, construction crews found the tomb then Israeli archaeologists took over from there. The tomb was found in 1980, Cameron just put a documentary together.
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#44

02-25-2007, 07:32 AM

Originally posted by Splum

We dont know for a fact that is Jesus burial shroud, according to scientists the shroud couldnt possibly have covered Jesus body as it wasnt from the same period of time when he died. Shrug.

when I was in catholic school my teacher said they carbon dated a piece of it and it was proved to be around during Jesus's time... could just be another lie they told me though.

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#45

02-25-2007, 07:37 AM

Originally posted by Splum

We dont know for a fact that is Jesus burial shroud, according to scientists the shroud couldnt possibly have covered Jesus body as it wasnt from the same period of time when he died. Shrug.

Originally posted by DarkJedi

"Shroud of Turin"

Google it, asswipe.

Now shut it ass wipe.

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#46

02-25-2007, 07:39 AM

Jesus’ body was covered with some material that exists in Vatican. I'm not sure if you can get a dna sample from it.
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#47

02-25-2007, 07:40 AM

i saw recently a documentary on this (funny the timing) and i think it was accepted by catholic church.
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Splum

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#48

02-25-2007, 07:45 AM

Originally posted by StuartD

Now shut it ass wipe.

What the fuck are you talking about? I am Christian I went to Christian schools I know what the Shroud of Turin is and I know what scientists have said about it. But just to appease your ignorant ass...

The Vatican (who presently own the cloth) have allowed only one set of radiocarbon dating experiments upon the shroud. The only official radiocarbon tests upon the Shroud in 1988 reported a medieval timeframe for the cloth's production. Analysis of the image by Chemist Walter McCrone in 1981, showed that iron oxide was present upon the cloth, and from this he theorised that medieval pigments (which contain iron oxide) were used in some way to form the image of a human body.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shroud_of_Turin
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#49

02-25-2007, 07:46 AM

wow this is amazing

...
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#50

02-25-2007, 07:47 AM

for those wondering about the dna, it could have been fossilized, the same way we have dinosaur dna.
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