I ACCIDENTLY drove across the entire Unites States! - GoFuckYourself.com

interracialtoons · 02-12-2007, 01:02 PM

Total tru story:

First: This video explains why it happened

https://youtube.com/watch?v=G6MJVzXbqRU&eurl=

Cliff Notes:

On a whim I started driving from Venice Beach California and ended up in New York City because I was afraid to stop! I crossed the continent
(california to South Carolina) in 2 1/2 days!!!! One fucking whole day was just to cross TEXAS!!!!

Story:

After a really shitty year in LA my female roommate wanted to get another female and I had to move out on New Years Eve. I hadn't found a new place so I was going to stay in a hotel.

I decided..."Fuck! I want to start the New Year off in another city".
I decided to hit highway 10 and drive out the city and find a hotel.

Hmmmmmmmm? Once out of LA it seems like there isn't anything except sand and fucking catus. No problem, I should see somewhere to stay soon.

Next thing I know, I'm in Arizona! Shit! Nothing looks safe...keep going.
I stopped in "Tombstone" to get gas...do I need to explain why I kept going?

Then I get hit by a sand storm. I can't see shit...I'm going to FUCKING DIE!!!!
High winds are blowing my piece of shit car all over the road then
BAM! a bird splatter all over my windshield!!!!

AHHHHHHH!!! SCREAM!!!!

Two lane road, nowhere to pull over and locals and bearing down on my ass at 70 mph.

"I'm gonna fucking die, I'm gonna fucking die...repeat for 15 mins"

Next thing I know, I'm in New Mexico...FUCK!!! There is no civilization here!
Just what looks like wheat and corn..

Then my car starts fucking up and losing power...I have a bad oil leak.
I'm in the middle of no where and don't dare turn the engine off even though it seem like it's going to die. I get two quarts of oil I had in the car and pour them in and the engine starts to come alive again...PHEW!!!

I stop, some f'ing where, I don't remember and get gas and a lot of oil and start putting a new quart of oil in the engine every 200 miles.

Then I enter El Paso Texas...Stop at McDonalds.
Ugghhhhh! I can't even eat with smell of cow shit everywhere!
Nothing but cows!!!!

Ok, time to just go back to LA...end this stupidity....WAIT!!!
I have a friend in Dallas Texas, I'm alredy in Texas so just go see her and stay there. It can't be that far, I'm already in Texas.

I get on the freeway and see the sign to Dallas...not long now, but I wonder exactly how many miles I have to go. The sign didn't tell me that.

Hmmmmm, it's been about 2 hours, shouldn't I be close by now?
There's a sign ahead....OK, must be about Dallas.
Closer, closer, I can almost read it....closer...

[/SIZE=7]AHHHH! You IDIOT!!![/size]

The sign reads : "Dallas 570 miles"

Ok, what do I do? 570 miles to Dallas is less than it takes to go back to LA.
I better make it somewhere before this car dies....On to Dallas.

I stop to get gas and food. Get the gas and walk over to a small local resturant. OH SHIT!!! Look at the stares I'm getting. I'm hungry so I got to eat, I got to get food. No telling when I'll get another change to stop...there's nothing out there between these towns.

"I would like an order to go". The hostest replies with an long drawn out nasty tone "goooooooood ideaaaaaaaa".

Drive and eat....search for pay phone...call friend in dallas...fuck!... answering machine for hours....Entering Dallas...OK call her mom...

Mom: "She's out of town...went to New York to do a play".

Oh Shit, oh fuck...what am I going to do?

It's 1500 miles to another friend in South Carolina and it's 1500 miles back to LA. I gotta stop somewhere!! No place to stop on the way back to LA...

South Carolina here I come.
Entering Louisiana...Hmmmmmm...I saw the movie Deliverance so I aint
stopping here...

Entering Mississippi: Saw Mississippi Burning too.....

Entering Alabama: Served in the Army there and know better...

Entering Georgia: Close enough to South Carolina, keep going.

Entered: South Carolina
HURRAY!!!!! My friend is there! Sleep, sleep, sleep..."Hey...um...get the fuck out"

I didn't come all this way for nothing! I'm going to New York to see my friend from Dallas in her play.

Get to North Carolina and POP! The car dies in the middle of the night...
Scary yes, but at least hicks are probably sleep.

Highway patrol see's me and gives me a ride to a cheap hotel and calls a tow truck. All that leaking oil had eaten away my timing belt. A local garage fixed it and I went on.

Arrive NEW YOUR CITY. It's fucking snowing and freezing and I have on California clothes...but I find my friend's play and buy a ticket.

She doesn't even know I'm there. The play was great and afterwards I asked the stage manager to tell her a friend was waiting outside but don't tell her who I am. She was suprised and we went out for drinks and went
back to her place and knoced books until the morning.

It was worth it after all!!!!!

OK, time to get back to my life, face my demons and drive back to LA.

Entering North Carolina: POP!!! Same exact shit with my car as before about 50 miles from where it happened the first time.
FUCK this!!!

The highway patrol sees me and I ask for a tow truck driver who wants to buy a car for $200 and give me a ride to the bus station.

Get the $200 bucks and buy a bus ticket back to my friend in South Carolina.

I'm in the bus terminal half asleep when the cops bust in..
"We're looking for a robbery suspect!"....

Oh shit...I just know they think it's me, I'm going to go to jail!!!
They look at me and look and look and then "Nah, not him...lets go".

PHEW!!!

Entering South Carolina: I see a used car dealership with an old van out front. It's for sale for $950.

I tell the sales guy I got $1000 on me and not a dime more but the problem is I need about $300 in gas to get back to LA.
He says, you got the cash now...I'm like hell yeah.
He sells it to me out the door all fees etc...for $650!

I put in some more oil and took off.
Surely I will die this fucking time!!

But the van made it all the way back to Venice Beach without a single problem in 2 1/2 days.

Conclusion: Whenever you think you're fucking crazy, an idiot, fool and there is no hope for you; just remeber....You never did that stupid shit...and I'm still alive!

Xplicit · 02-12-2007, 01:07 PM

Quite a story.

riddler · 02-12-2007, 01:10 PM

umm yeah ok.. whitey is out to get you..

escorpio · 02-12-2007, 01:12 PM

Tombstone is about 30 miles from I-10. You'd stop in Benson for gas.

interracialtoons · 02-12-2007, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riddler

umm yeah ok.. whitey is out to get you..

That's what you said. Race bating fuckwad!
You're stupid ass would not have stopped on those roads either.

Drive it then get back to me.

Sosa · 02-12-2007, 01:14 PM

lol I can't believe I just read all of that

interracialtoons · 02-12-2007, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by escorpio

Tombstone is about 30 miles from I-10. You'd stop in Benson for gas.

I just remeber a sign that said Tombstone, it probably said 30 miles away.

riddler · 02-12-2007, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by interracialtoons

That's what you said. Race bating fuckwad!
You're stupid ass would not have stopped on those roads either.

Drive it then get back to me.

most southern people are hospitable than any others.

interracialtoons · 02-12-2007, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riddler

most southern people are hospitable than any others.

Click the video above...then shut the fuck up.

riddler · 02-12-2007, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by interracialtoons

Click the video above...then shut the fuck up.

media sheep

02-12-2007, 01:02 PM	#1
interracialtoons Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 1,910	I ACCIDENTLY drove across the entire Unites States! Total tru story: First: This video explains why it happened https://youtube.com/watch?v=G6MJVzXbqRU&eurl= Cliff Notes: On a whim I started driving from Venice Beach California and ended up in New York City because I was afraid to stop! I crossed the continent (california to South Carolina) in 2 1/2 days!!!! One fucking whole day was just to cross TEXAS!!!! Story: After a really shitty year in LA my female roommate wanted to get another female and I had to move out on New Years Eve. I hadn't found a new place so I was going to stay in a hotel. I decided..."Fuck! I want to start the New Year off in another city". I decided to hit highway 10 and drive out the city and find a hotel. Hmmmmmmmm? Once out of LA it seems like there isn't anything except sand and fucking catus. No problem, I should see somewhere to stay soon. Next thing I know, I'm in Arizona! Shit! Nothing looks safe...keep going. I stopped in "Tombstone" to get gas...do I need to explain why I kept going? Then I get hit by a sand storm. I can't see shit...I'm going to FUCKING DIE!!!! High winds are blowing my piece of shit car all over the road then BAM! a bird splatter all over my windshield!!!! AHHHHHHH!!! SCREAM!!!! Two lane road, nowhere to pull over and locals and bearing down on my ass at 70 mph. "I'm gonna fucking die, I'm gonna fucking die...repeat for 15 mins" Next thing I know, I'm in New Mexico...FUCK!!! There is no civilization here! Just what looks like wheat and corn.. Then my car starts fucking up and losing power...I have a bad oil leak. I'm in the middle of no where and don't dare turn the engine off even though it seem like it's going to die. I get two quarts of oil I had in the car and pour them in and the engine starts to come alive again...PHEW!!! I stop, some f'ing where, I don't remember and get gas and a lot of oil and start putting a new quart of oil in the engine every 200 miles. Then I enter El Paso Texas...Stop at McDonalds. Ugghhhhh! I can't even eat with smell of cow shit everywhere! Nothing but cows!!!! Ok, time to just go back to LA...end this stupidity....WAIT!!! I have a friend in Dallas Texas, I'm alredy in Texas so just go see her and stay there. It can't be that far, I'm already in Texas. I get on the freeway and see the sign to Dallas...not long now, but I wonder exactly how many miles I have to go. The sign didn't tell me that. Hmmmmm, it's been about 2 hours, shouldn't I be close by now? There's a sign ahead....OK, must be about Dallas. Closer, closer, I can almost read it....closer... [/SIZE=7]AHHHH! You IDIOT!!![/size] The sign reads : "Dallas 570 miles" Ok, what do I do? 570 miles to Dallas is less than it takes to go back to LA. I better make it somewhere before this car dies....On to Dallas. I stop to get gas and food. Get the gas and walk over to a small local resturant. OH SHIT!!! Look at the stares I'm getting. I'm hungry so I got to eat, I got to get food. No telling when I'll get another change to stop...there's nothing out there between these towns. "I would like an order to go". The hostest replies with an long drawn out nasty tone "goooooooood ideaaaaaaaa". Drive and eat....search for pay phone...call friend in dallas...fuck!... answering machine for hours....Entering Dallas...OK call her mom... Mom: "She's out of town...went to New York to do a play". Oh Shit, oh fuck...what am I going to do? It's 1500 miles to another friend in South Carolina and it's 1500 miles back to LA. I gotta stop somewhere!! No place to stop on the way back to LA... South Carolina here I come. Entering Louisiana...Hmmmmmm...I saw the movie Deliverance so I aint stopping here... Entering Mississippi: Saw Mississippi Burning too..... Entering Alabama: Served in the Army there and know better... Entering Georgia: Close enough to South Carolina, keep going. Entered: South Carolina HURRAY!!!!! My friend is there! Sleep, sleep, sleep..."Hey...um...get the fuck out" I didn't come all this way for nothing! I'm going to New York to see my friend from Dallas in her play. Get to North Carolina and POP! The car dies in the middle of the night... Scary yes, but at least hicks are probably sleep. Highway patrol see's me and gives me a ride to a cheap hotel and calls a tow truck. All that leaking oil had eaten away my timing belt. A local garage fixed it and I went on. Arrive NEW YOUR CITY. It's fucking snowing and freezing and I have on California clothes...but I find my friend's play and buy a ticket. She doesn't even know I'm there. The play was great and afterwards I asked the stage manager to tell her a friend was waiting outside but don't tell her who I am. She was suprised and we went out for drinks and went back to her place and knoced books until the morning. It was worth it after all!!!!! OK, time to get back to my life, face my demons and drive back to LA. Entering North Carolina: POP!!! Same exact shit with my car as before about 50 miles from where it happened the first time. FUCK this!!! The highway patrol sees me and I ask for a tow truck driver who wants to buy a car for $200 and give me a ride to the bus station. Get the $200 bucks and buy a bus ticket back to my friend in South Carolina. I'm in the bus terminal half asleep when the cops bust in.. "We're looking for a robbery suspect!".... Oh shit...I just know they think it's me, I'm going to go to jail!!! They look at me and look and look and then "Nah, not him...lets go". PHEW!!! Entering South Carolina: I see a used car dealership with an old van out front. It's for sale for $950. I tell the sales guy I got $1000 on me and not a dime more but the problem is I need about $300 in gas to get back to LA. He says, you got the cash now...I'm like hell yeah. He sells it to me out the door all fees etc...for $650! I put in some more oil and took off. Surely I will die this fucking time!! But the van made it all the way back to Venice Beach without a single problem in 2 1/2 days. Conclusion: Whenever you think you're fucking crazy, an idiot, fool and there is no hope for you; just remeber....You never did that stupid shit...and I'm still alive! __________________ Done.

02-12-2007, 01:12 PM	#4
escorpio I love to racism, bro! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA! USA! USA! Posts: 23,220	Tombstone is about 30 miles from I-10. You'd stop in Benson for gas. __________________ Unvaxxed, still alive.

02-12-2007, 01:07 PM	#2
Xplicit Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Location: █◄►█ Posts: 3,558	Quite a story.

02-12-2007, 01:10 PM	#3
riddler Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: up in gang bang heaven Posts: 3,726	umm yeah ok.. whitey is out to get you..

02-12-2007, 01:14 PM	#6
Sosa In Tushy Land Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 40,149	lol I can't believe I just read all of that