own shares in a brothel :) - GoFuckYourself.com

bhutocracy · 07-30-2002, 05:08 AM

Most people would not like to admit they've been to a brothel but now the investing public is welcome at the Daily Planet. For Daily Planet Limited's director Andrew Harris, today's announcement is the culmination of a 30-year dream.

Mr Harris is finally opening the doors of Melbourne's best-known brothel to the world.

"Finally today we announce that we are now a public company and you can buy shares in the Daily Planet - absolute world first," Mr Harris said.

"Our plans for expansion are to have Daily Planet Sydney, buy a number of major strip clubs and create one of the largest sex companies - public companies in the world.

"We're going to sell 12,000 shares. They're $1000 each and the return on your shares is five per cent fully franked, which means we pay the tax and you get five per cent, so better than you get at the bank."

This world-first investment opportunity is sure to attract raised eyebrows and questions abound as to exactly how investors will make their money.

"The Daily Planet is a very interesting business. It has never ever shared in the earnings of the working girls, it simply makes money like a five-star hotel by charging the clients that come in room rates, so all the profits of the Daily Planet are made out of room rates," Mr Harris said.

In other words, room rates determine investors' returns.

Market analyst Michael Heffernan says there is no reason why the Daily Planet should not be listed on the stock market.

"I think there's going to be a lot of people throwing their hands up in the air when you get something that used to be on the fringes of what was acceptable in the community now listing on the share market," Mr Heffernen said.

"The Daily Planet is not an illegal organisation and as long as we have legal entities operating in the community then there should be no bar to them listing on the share market."

Mr Harris says people will be attracted to his company by the novelty factor.

"There's a lot of novelty factor in it and that's what people want," Mr Harris said.

At Sam's Seafood, listing on the stock market last December was a stroke of genius according to CEO Nick Noutsatos.

"You can use the stock exchange for a lot of different reasons but we are using it to grow our business," he said.

And with chairman of Big Kev Limited, Kevin McQuay around, the share market is far from boring.

"Its one of the greatest learning curves. You soon become an expert I'm telling you now," Mr McQuay said.

"I don't wear a collar and tie, I love bright shirts and I'm probably pretty unusual, so I probably don't fit the criteria but we certainly can do the job."

And that is exactly what those at the Daily Planet are promising but if you're conservative, Mr Harris says he may not want your business.

"Those who have got a bit of fun about them and the good old Aussie spirit about them - let them be our shareholders, not those that think that what we are doing is immoral in some way," he said.

EscortBiz · 07-30-2002, 05:36 AM

drumsicle · 07-30-2002, 05:38 AM

You write a fine article. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one published.

bhutocracy · 07-30-2002, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by drumsicle
You write a fine article. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one published.

so sue me... i accidentally missed the title and author when i copy and pasted it.. .. i did it for the fuckers too lazy to click on a link

VoodooMachine · 07-30-2002, 07:18 AM

07-30-2002, 05:08 AM	#1
bhutocracy Not making A Comeback Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,218	own shares in a brothel :) Most people would not like to admit they've been to a brothel but now the investing public is welcome at the Daily Planet. For Daily Planet Limited's director Andrew Harris, today's announcement is the culmination of a 30-year dream. Mr Harris is finally opening the doors of Melbourne's best-known brothel to the world. "Finally today we announce that we are now a public company and you can buy shares in the Daily Planet - absolute world first," Mr Harris said. "Our plans for expansion are to have Daily Planet Sydney, buy a number of major strip clubs and create one of the largest sex companies - public companies in the world. "We're going to sell 12,000 shares. They're $1000 each and the return on your shares is five per cent fully franked, which means we pay the tax and you get five per cent, so better than you get at the bank." This world-first investment opportunity is sure to attract raised eyebrows and questions abound as to exactly how investors will make their money. "The Daily Planet is a very interesting business. It has never ever shared in the earnings of the working girls, it simply makes money like a five-star hotel by charging the clients that come in room rates, so all the profits of the Daily Planet are made out of room rates," Mr Harris said. In other words, room rates determine investors' returns. Market analyst Michael Heffernan says there is no reason why the Daily Planet should not be listed on the stock market. "I think there's going to be a lot of people throwing their hands up in the air when you get something that used to be on the fringes of what was acceptable in the community now listing on the share market," Mr Heffernen said. "The Daily Planet is not an illegal organisation and as long as we have legal entities operating in the community then there should be no bar to them listing on the share market." Mr Harris says people will be attracted to his company by the novelty factor. "There's a lot of novelty factor in it and that's what people want," Mr Harris said. At Sam's Seafood, listing on the stock market last December was a stroke of genius according to CEO Nick Noutsatos. "You can use the stock exchange for a lot of different reasons but we are using it to grow our business," he said. And with chairman of Big Kev Limited, Kevin McQuay around, the share market is far from boring. "Its one of the greatest learning curves. You soon become an expert I'm telling you now," Mr McQuay said. "I don't wear a collar and tie, I love bright shirts and I'm probably pretty unusual, so I probably don't fit the criteria but we certainly can do the job." And that is exactly what those at the Daily Planet are promising but if you're conservative, Mr Harris says he may not want your business. "Those who have got a bit of fun about them and the good old Aussie spirit about them - let them be our shareholders, not those that think that what we are doing is immoral in some way," he said.

07-30-2002, 05:36 AM	#2
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07-30-2002, 07:18 AM	#5
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07-30-2002, 05:38 AM	#3
drumsicle Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: St. Louis Posts: 1,049	You write a fine article. I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one published.