Memories from an ugly child (funny read)

Some funny shit I received today. It was in Spanish so I don't know if you'll like it.


When I was born doctor said mom: We did all we could but ... he is still alive.

My mother didn't know if take me or the placenta home.

Since I was premature child I was put in a incubator, but it had polarized glass.

My father had the picture of the child that come with the wallet in it instead of mine.

Soon I realized my parents hated me since my bath toys were a radio and a electric toaster.

Once I got lost. I ask a policemen if we were going to find my parents and he said: "I don't know, they can be hidden anywhere".

Once I was run over by a truck, since that day, I look much better.

I worked in a Pet Shop, everyone asked how much did I cost.

One day a girl called me and said "come now, there's nobody at home" when I arrived... there was nobody at home.

A psychiatrist told me I was crazy, i told him: I want to hear a second opinion then, he said: ok, you are crazy .... and ugly too.

When I was about to jump from a 50th floor, somebody sent a priest to talk to me, all he said was: Ready, steady , ......

My father's last will was there i sit on his lap. He was condemned to death on the electric chair.