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Old 11-30-2006, 06:37 PM   #1
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Burt Reynolds manhandled our girl Brooke Marks

This is taken directly from her last blogpost in her Member's Area at brookemarks.com. I think it's hilarious, so I'll share it:

Tossed Around by Burt Reynolds
I was lunching at a patio table at Olive Garden, and wrestling some salad onto my plate with those crazy scissor-spoons they serve it with, when my best friend Ally came back from the washroom looking excited as hell.

"Brooke, I think Burt Reynolds is here," she said.

"Really?" I said. For some reason, I was immediately onboard with this - and incidentally, I don't think I ever ate that salad I was bulding. "Where?" I asked.

"Right in front of us," she said, "I saw him on the way back to the table, and I did a triple-take. At first I glance I thought, 'Boy, that guy looks familiar.' Then I looked again and thought, 'Hmm, Burt Reynolds? That's who he looks like,' And then I looked again and realized it actually might be him." Ally pointed at the back of some person's grey head of hair.

He was sitting alone at a table just about a coin-flip away from our booth. I suddenly felt really aware of the volume of our voices; not that Ally is a loudmouth or anything, but let's just say her side of a conversation always tends to carry across a room. So there wasn't much doubt this man could hear us debating.

I half-whispered, "Whoever it is, he probably knows now that we think he's Burt Reynolds."

Ally didn't take the hint to lower her voice, and I cringed as she whooped, "He's like 70 years-old now, right? Do you think he's wearing a Sonic Ear?"

He heard that. Burt Reynolds, now undeniably and uncomprimisingly Burt Reynolds, spun around in his chair and stared at us. And kept staring. We shut up.

Burt kept on looking at us, as if he was waiting for an apology. Ally pushed her silverware forward and said, "Wow. Well, I'm gonna go say hello." So, in one of those adrenaline moments where you can almost hear your own heartbeat in your ears, I got up and followed Ally over to Burt's table. I don't remember exactly what she said, but it seemed like by the time I was standing there next to her, she was asking him if he would pose for pictures on our cell phone cameras. He was nice as hell, and obliged her. When it came to the point where Alec was about to snap a picture of Burt and I, Burt grabbed me fiercely by the hips and jerked me towards him, like, come here, you hussy. Gotcha. That's right, Burt Reynolds has gotcha. And now he's gotta go.


That little maneuver caught me totally off-guard, when in fact I probably should have expected it, considering who we're dealing with. Really, why was I surprised that Burt Reynolds chose to fluff me like a pillow before posing for a picture? If there's one person on earth who could even pinch the First Lady's butt in front of the President and come away unscathed, it's definitely Burt Reynolds. There's a reason why that guy has the final say in all those Miller Lite "Man Law" commercials. He had the blackbelt in that old 1970's-era flirting style, most of which was eventually filed away under "sexual harassment" over the last couple decades. And he still does things like slaps people in public - did you see that clip when he man-smacked a CBS reporter for not knowing that the latest release of "The Longest Yard" was a remake? Anyway, Burt Reynolds can flat-out get away with this stuff, and I don't even think that's a bad thing.
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:39 PM   #2
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Whoa what a hottie...
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:39 PM   #3
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So cool..Burt was the man back in the day
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:42 PM   #4
DarkJedi
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she's a hoe, what did you expect?
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:44 PM   #5
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lol @ burt slapping the news guy...
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:49 PM   #6
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Quote:
Your best friend is dumped by his girlfriend. How long before you can ask her out?

Six months, but only if she is drop-dead gorgeous.

If you bring Miller Lite to a party and not all of it is consumed, can you take the remainder with you as you leave the party?

Tuck Rule: One beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

If a friend gets you a beer from the bar, is it acceptable for the friend to stick his finger in the opening to bring back several beers to the table at once?

No. "You poke it, you own it."

When toasting with beer, should you clink with the top or the bottom of the bottle?

The Bottom, because clinking the top would qualify as kissing.

Is the high five officially played out?

Yes, but a continuance has been issued until a replacement can be found.

Is crushing an empty beer can on your forehead acceptable?

No, modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.

Is it permissible to hide your beer in the fridge so that others can't find it?

No, Sharing is caring.

Wireless phone headsets - pretty cool or technology gone bad?

Technology gone bad: Anything that makes you look like a crazy person - not cool.

Can you put a lime or any other fruit in your beer?

No, fruit is completely off limits in beer. If one was to put fruit in a beer, they might as well put a little umbrella in it and call it a "beera colada".
Man Law: "Don't Fruit the Beer"

Is it permissible, in the pursuit of humor, to tap the top of another man's beer bottle with the bottom of your beer bottle, causing the other man's beer bottle to fizz over?

No, as there are plenty of other things that make us laugh without wasting a drop of beer, like Japanese game shows, Undercover Brother on DVD, and Jimmy Johnson's hair.
Man Law: "No wasting beer in the pursuit of humor."

Have football fans become too reliant on the "D-Fence" sign?

Yes, however a continuance has been issued on the "D-Fence" sign, while giving a try-out to the "Off-Fence" sign this season.

Is it acceptable for a man to leave his fellow men in order to leave with his woman?

No, however this ruling can be overturned if she is deemed attractive enough by said fellow men. Most notably, Burt Reynolds.
ADG Webmaster
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:54 PM   #7
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Burt's cool as always
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:56 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude View Post


ADG Webmaster
LOL!

I have to IM that pic to her immediately. Hahaha... Funny post ADG
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:57 PM   #9
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Haha I forgot he posed nude in Cosmo!
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Old 11-30-2006, 06:59 PM   #10
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Cool story
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:01 PM   #11
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Burt has so much hair, he blends into that fur rug!
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:08 PM   #12
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:08 PM   #13
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Burt deserves tail more than Hugh Hefner does.
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:21 PM   #14
dooglas
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Wonder if Burt uses Viagra like Hef though?
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:24 PM   #15
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Isn't he like 200 years old? What's he doing still manhandling folks?
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Old 11-30-2006, 07:29 PM   #16
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Burt Reynolds is the man, thats awesome you guys got to meet him!
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Old 12-01-2006, 07:11 AM   #17
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Isn't he like 200 years old? What's he doing still manhandling folks?
That's almost like asking "What's Chuck Norris still doing being tough."
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Old 12-01-2006, 07:50 AM   #18
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absolutely the man....
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Old 12-01-2006, 08:08 AM   #19
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I saw him on TV the other night and he looks freaky. He must be addicted to plastic surgery because his face looked like a mask.
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Old 12-01-2006, 08:15 AM   #20
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He's still a stud! he is getting a little geriatric though.......
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Old 12-01-2006, 08:35 AM   #21
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haha, thats great man
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Old 12-01-2006, 08:40 AM   #22
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Burt Rocks.
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Old 12-01-2006, 08:46 AM   #23
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Burt Reynolds rocks
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Old 12-01-2006, 09:25 AM   #24
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I saw him on TV the other night and he looks freaky. He must be addicted to plastic surgery because his face looked like a mask.
Haha, yeah, Brooke said the skin of his face looked a little tight.
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Old 12-01-2006, 10:46 AM   #25
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Burt's the man
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:14 AM   #26
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What happened to his ex wife. I remember she was pretty once
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Old 12-02-2006, 09:39 AM   #27
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What happened to his ex wife. I remember she was pretty once
Jerry Hall? Last year she was the star of that VH1 reality show, "Kept", where she auditioned young guys to make into her "kept man." It was pretty gross, and no, she doesn't look too hot these days.
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Old 12-02-2006, 11:53 AM   #28
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I thought Loni Andrson was his ex-wife...wasn't Jerry Hall Mick Jagger's ex?
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Old 12-02-2006, 12:32 PM   #29
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Jerry Hall? Last year she was the star of that VH1 reality show, "Kept", where she auditioned young guys to make into her "kept man." It was pretty gross, and no, she doesn't look too hot these days.
Jerry Hall is still hot as hell and she's Mick Jagger's ex-wife
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Old 12-02-2006, 03:25 PM   #30
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He still gets the ladies
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Old 12-02-2006, 03:27 PM   #31
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he's still a sexy beast
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Old 12-02-2006, 04:17 PM   #32
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Haha, great story!
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Old 12-02-2006, 04:22 PM   #33
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a 29 day trial that renews cheaper then a monthly membership.. That's different.
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Old 12-02-2006, 04:25 PM   #34
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LOL, nice story!
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Old 12-02-2006, 05:10 PM   #35
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Burt manhandled me back in the day... it almost gayed me up.
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Old 12-02-2006, 10:25 PM   #36
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I thought Loni Andrson was his ex-wife...wasn't Jerry Hall Mick Jagger's ex?
Oh right right, I was totally thinking of Mick Jagger's wife. Mick Jagger manhandled me at an Olive Garden also, so that was a Freudian slip.
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Old 12-04-2006, 02:09 AM   #37
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Yeah Loni Anderson was Burt's ex. I remember when she was that hot secretary on that show about the radio station. Last time I saw her she was a not-so-hot looking ex wife
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Old 12-04-2006, 03:08 AM   #38
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Thats tight!!
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Old 12-05-2006, 12:37 AM   #39
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Yeah Loni Anderson was Burt's ex. I remember when she was that hot secretary on that show about the radio station. Last time I saw her she was a not-so-hot looking ex wife
WKRP! that's it.


WKRP = "We're Crap"?
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