Burt Reynolds manhandled our girl Brooke Marks - GoFuckYourself.com

EpicPanda · 11-30-2006, 06:37 PM

This is taken directly from her last blogpost in her Member's Area at brookemarks.com. I think it's hilarious, so I'll share it:

Tossed Around by Burt Reynolds

I was lunching at a patio table at Olive Garden, and wrestling some salad onto my plate with those crazy scissor-spoons they serve it with, when my best friend Ally came back from the washroom looking excited as hell.

"Brooke, I think Burt Reynolds is here," she said.

"Really?" I said. For some reason, I was immediately onboard with this - and incidentally, I don't think I ever ate that salad I was bulding. "Where?" I asked.

"Right in front of us," she said, "I saw him on the way back to the table, and I did a triple-take. At first I glance I thought, 'Boy, that guy looks familiar.' Then I looked again and thought, 'Hmm, Burt Reynolds? That's who he looks like,' And then I looked again and realized it actually might be him." Ally pointed at the back of some person's grey head of hair.

He was sitting alone at a table just about a coin-flip away from our booth. I suddenly felt really aware of the volume of our voices; not that Ally is a loudmouth or anything, but let's just say her side of a conversation always tends to carry across a room. So there wasn't much doubt this man could hear us debating.

I half-whispered, "Whoever it is, he probably knows now that we think he's Burt Reynolds."

Ally didn't take the hint to lower her voice, and I cringed as she whooped, "He's like 70 years-old now, right? Do you think he's wearing a Sonic Ear?"

He heard that. Burt Reynolds, now undeniably and uncomprimisingly Burt Reynolds, spun around in his chair and stared at us. And kept staring. We shut up.

Burt kept on looking at us, as if he was waiting for an apology. Ally pushed her silverware forward and said, "Wow. Well, I'm gonna go say hello." So, in one of those adrenaline moments where you can almost hear your own heartbeat in your ears, I got up and followed Ally over to Burt's table. I don't remember exactly what she said, but it seemed like by the time I was standing there next to her, she was asking him if he would pose for pictures on our cell phone cameras. He was nice as hell, and obliged her. When it came to the point where Alec was about to snap a picture of Burt and I, Burt grabbed me fiercely by the hips and jerked me towards him, like, come here, you hussy. Gotcha. That's right, Burt Reynolds has gotcha. And now he's gotta go.

That little maneuver caught me totally off-guard, when in fact I probably should have expected it, considering who we're dealing with. Really, why was I surprised that Burt Reynolds chose to fluff me like a pillow before posing for a picture? If there's one person on earth who could even pinch the First Lady's butt in front of the President and come away unscathed, it's definitely Burt Reynolds. There's a reason why that guy has the final say in all those Miller Lite "Man Law" commercials. He had the blackbelt in that old 1970's-era flirting style, most of which was eventually filed away under "sexual harassment" over the last couple decades. And he still does things like slaps people in public - did you see that clip when he man-smacked a CBS reporter for not knowing that the latest release of "The Longest Yard" was a remake? Anyway, Burt Reynolds can flat-out get away with this stuff, and I don't even think that's a bad thing.

LiveDose · 11-30-2006, 06:39 PM

Whoa what a hottie...

Spunky · 11-30-2006, 06:39 PM

So cool..Burt was the man back in the day

DarkJedi · 11-30-2006, 06:42 PM

she's a hoe, what did you expect?

StickyGreen · 11-30-2006, 06:44 PM

lol @ burt slapping the news guy...

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 11-30-2006, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Your best friend is dumped by his girlfriend. How long before you can ask her out?

Six months, but only if she is drop-dead gorgeous.

If you bring Miller Lite to a party and not all of it is consumed, can you take the remainder with you as you leave the party?

Tuck Rule: One beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

If a friend gets you a beer from the bar, is it acceptable for the friend to stick his finger in the opening to bring back several beers to the table at once?

No. "You poke it, you own it."

When toasting with beer, should you clink with the top or the bottom of the bottle?

The Bottom, because clinking the top would qualify as kissing.

Is the high five officially played out?

Yes, but a continuance has been issued until a replacement can be found.

Is crushing an empty beer can on your forehead acceptable?

No, modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past.

Is it permissible to hide your beer in the fridge so that others can't find it?

No, Sharing is caring.

Wireless phone headsets - pretty cool or technology gone bad?

Technology gone bad: Anything that makes you look like a crazy person - not cool.

Can you put a lime or any other fruit in your beer?

No, fruit is completely off limits in beer. If one was to put fruit in a beer, they might as well put a little umbrella in it and call it a "beera colada".
Man Law: "Don't Fruit the Beer"

Is it permissible, in the pursuit of humor, to tap the top of another man's beer bottle with the bottom of your beer bottle, causing the other man's beer bottle to fizz over?

No, as there are plenty of other things that make us laugh without wasting a drop of beer, like Japanese game shows, Undercover Brother on DVD, and Jimmy Johnson's hair.
Man Law: "No wasting beer in the pursuit of humor."

Have football fans become too reliant on the "D-Fence" sign?

Yes, however a continuance has been issued on the "D-Fence" sign, while giving a try-out to the "Off-Fence" sign this season.

Is it acceptable for a man to leave his fellow men in order to leave with his woman?

No, however this ruling can be overturned if she is deemed attractive enough by said fellow men. Most notably, Burt Reynolds.

ADG Webmaster

needlive · 11-30-2006, 06:54 PM

Burt's cool as always

EpicPanda · 11-30-2006, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

ADG Webmaster

LOL!

I have to IM that pic to her immediately. Hahaha... Funny post ADG

dooglas · 11-30-2006, 06:57 PM

Haha I forgot he posed nude in Cosmo!

Grisey · 11-30-2006, 06:59 PM

Cool story

Vegas Ken · 11-30-2006, 07:01 PM

Burt has so much hair, he blends into that fur rug!

Scott McD · 11-30-2006, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Axzar · 11-30-2006, 07:08 PM

Burt deserves tail more than Hugh Hefner does.

dooglas · 11-30-2006, 07:21 PM

Wonder if Burt uses Viagra like Hef though?

SPACE GLIDER · 11-30-2006, 07:24 PM

Isn't he like 200 years old? What's he doing still manhandling folks?

Wiggles · 11-30-2006, 07:29 PM

Burt Reynolds is the man, thats awesome you guys got to meet him!

EpicPanda · 12-01-2006, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPACE GLIDER

Isn't he like 200 years old? What's he doing still manhandling folks?

That's almost like asking "What's Chuck Norris still doing being tough."

thebossxxx · 12-01-2006, 07:50 AM

absolutely the man....

Holly · 12-01-2006, 08:08 AM

I saw him on TV the other night and he looks freaky. He must be addicted to plastic surgery because his face looked like a mask.

adultchica · 12-01-2006, 08:15 AM

He's still a stud! he is getting a little geriatric though.......

Big_D · 12-01-2006, 08:35 AM

haha, thats great man

Mr.Right - Banned For Life · 12-01-2006, 08:40 AM

Burt Rocks.

jasminexxx · 12-01-2006, 08:46 AM

Burt Reynolds rocks

EpicPanda · 12-01-2006, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly

I saw him on TV the other night and he looks freaky. He must be addicted to plastic surgery because his face looked like a mask.

Haha, yeah, Brooke said the skin of his face looked a little tight.

Z · 12-01-2006, 10:46 AM

Burt's the man

SPACE GLIDER · 12-02-2006, 12:14 AM

What happened to his ex wife. I remember she was pretty once

EpicPanda · 12-02-2006, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPACE GLIDER

What happened to his ex wife. I remember she was pretty once

Jerry Hall? Last year she was the star of that VH1 reality show, "Kept", where she auditioned young guys to make into her "kept man." It was pretty gross, and no, she doesn't look too hot these days.

Profits of Doom · 12-02-2006, 11:53 AM

I thought Loni Andrson was his ex-wife...wasn't Jerry Hall Mick Jagger's ex?

Monique Niccole · 12-02-2006, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FoxyFlow

Jerry Hall? Last year she was the star of that VH1 reality show, "Kept", where she auditioned young guys to make into her "kept man." It was pretty gross, and no, she doesn't look too hot these days.

Jerry Hall is still hot as hell and she's Mick Jagger's ex-wife

Vitasoy · 12-02-2006, 03:25 PM

He still gets the ladies

Babagirls · 12-02-2006, 03:27 PM

he's still a sexy beast

NaughtyRob · 12-02-2006, 04:17 PM

Haha, great story!

jact · 12-02-2006, 04:22 PM

a 29 day trial that renews cheaper then a monthly membership.. That's different.

Paysighting · 12-02-2006, 04:25 PM

LOL, nice story!

tenletters · 12-02-2006, 05:10 PM

Burt manhandled me back in the day... it almost gayed me up.

EpicPanda · 12-02-2006, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Profits of Doom

I thought Loni Andrson was his ex-wife...wasn't Jerry Hall Mick Jagger's ex?

Oh right right, I was totally thinking of Mick Jagger's wife. Mick Jagger manhandled me at an Olive Garden also, so that was a Freudian slip.

SPACE GLIDER · 12-04-2006, 02:09 AM

Yeah Loni Anderson was Burt's ex. I remember when she was that hot secretary on that show about the radio station. Last time I saw her she was a not-so-hot looking ex wife

rounders · 12-04-2006, 03:08 AM

Thats tight!!

SPACE GLIDER · 12-05-2006, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SPACE GLIDER

Yeah Loni Anderson was Burt's ex. I remember when she was that hot secretary on that show about the radio station. Last time I saw her she was a not-so-hot looking ex wife

WKRP! that's it.

WKRP = "We're Crap"?

11-30-2006, 06:37 PM	#1
EpicPanda Verified Panda Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 778	Burt Reynolds manhandled our girl Brooke Marks This is taken directly from her last blogpost in her Member's Area at brookemarks.com. I think it's hilarious, so I'll share it: Tossed Around by Burt Reynolds I was lunching at a patio table at Olive Garden, and wrestling some salad onto my plate with those crazy scissor-spoons they serve it with, when my best friend Ally came back from the washroom looking excited as hell. "Brooke, I think Burt Reynolds is here," she said. "Really?" I said. For some reason, I was immediately onboard with this - and incidentally, I don't think I ever ate that salad I was bulding. "Where?" I asked. "Right in front of us," she said, "I saw him on the way back to the table, and I did a triple-take. At first I glance I thought, 'Boy, that guy looks familiar.' Then I looked again and thought, 'Hmm, Burt Reynolds? That's who he looks like,' And then I looked again and realized it actually might be him." Ally pointed at the back of some person's grey head of hair. He was sitting alone at a table just about a coin-flip away from our booth. I suddenly felt really aware of the volume of our voices; not that Ally is a loudmouth or anything, but let's just say her side of a conversation always tends to carry across a room. So there wasn't much doubt this man could hear us debating. I half-whispered, "Whoever it is, he probably knows now that we think he's Burt Reynolds." Ally didn't take the hint to lower her voice, and I cringed as she whooped, "He's like 70 years-old now, right? Do you think he's wearing a Sonic Ear?" He heard that. Burt Reynolds, now undeniably and uncomprimisingly Burt Reynolds, spun around in his chair and stared at us. And kept staring. We shut up. Burt kept on looking at us, as if he was waiting for an apology. Ally pushed her silverware forward and said, "Wow. Well, I'm gonna go say hello." So, in one of those adrenaline moments where you can almost hear your own heartbeat in your ears, I got up and followed Ally over to Burt's table. I don't remember exactly what she said, but it seemed like by the time I was standing there next to her, she was asking him if he would pose for pictures on our cell phone cameras. He was nice as hell, and obliged her. When it came to the point where Alec was about to snap a picture of Burt and I, Burt grabbed me fiercely by the hips and jerked me towards him, like, come here, you hussy. Gotcha. That's right, Burt Reynolds has gotcha. And now he's gotta go. That little maneuver caught me totally off-guard, when in fact I probably should have expected it, considering who we're dealing with. Really, why was I surprised that Burt Reynolds chose to fluff me like a pillow before posing for a picture? If there's one person on earth who could even pinch the First Lady's butt in front of the President and come away unscathed, it's definitely Burt Reynolds. There's a reason why that guy has the final say in all those Miller Lite "Man Law" commercials. He had the blackbelt in that old 1970's-era flirting style, most of which was eventually filed away under "sexual harassment" over the last couple decades. And he still does things like slaps people in public - did you see that clip when he man-smacked a CBS reporter for not knowing that the latest release of "The Longest Yard" was a remake? Anyway, Burt Reynolds can flat-out get away with this stuff, and I don't even think that's a bad thing. __________________ Twitter: /MalloyPanda

11-30-2006, 06:39 PM	#2
LiveDose Show Yer Tits! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Somewhere Out there... Posts: 25,792	Whoa what a hottie... __________________ Scammer Alert: acer19 acer [email protected] [email protected] Money stolen using PayPal

11-30-2006, 06:39 PM	#3
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	So cool..Burt was the man back in the day __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

11-30-2006, 06:44 PM	#5
StickyGreen . Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 13,076	lol @ burt slapping the news guy... __________________ Refer Cam Girls and Take Home 10% of Everything They Make For Life

11-30-2006, 06:54 PM	#7
needlive Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,191	Burt's cool as always __________________ http://www.needlive.com Adult XXX Cams

11-30-2006, 06:42 PM	#4
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	she's a hoe, what did you expect?

11-30-2006, 06:57 PM	#9
dooglas So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: A Strip Club Posts: 2,068	Haha I forgot he posed nude in Cosmo!

11-30-2006, 06:59 PM	#10
Grisey Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Uk Posts: 1,805	Cool story __________________ Segpay Suck Ass Worse Billing Company Allurecash Scammers and don't pay

11-30-2006, 07:01 PM	#11
Vegas Ken Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 4,151	Burt has so much hair, he blends into that fur rug! __________________ Skype: vegas_ken

11-30-2006, 07:08 PM	#13
Axzar Random Jackass Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 1,837	Burt deserves tail more than Hugh Hefner does.

11-30-2006, 07:21 PM	#14
dooglas So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: A Strip Club Posts: 2,068	Wonder if Burt uses Viagra like Hef though?

11-30-2006, 07:24 PM	#15
SPACE GLIDER Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,550	Isn't he like 200 years old? What's he doing still manhandling folks?

11-30-2006, 07:29 PM	#16
Wiggles Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 14,423	Burt Reynolds is the man, thats awesome you guys got to meet him! __________________ no sig

12-01-2006, 07:50 AM	#18
thebossxxx Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 3,209	absolutely the man.... __________________ www.IncredibleDollars.com $50 PPS w/Trials 60% *Rev Share 60% w/no Pre checked cross sales! & and If pre checks are crossed you get $50 bucks! www.IncredibePass.com www.TitsandAssPass.com 100% Exclusive content guarenteed! Glenn at Incredible dollars dot com Our Best Converting sites: BTCA, Hot60Plus HairyNaturalGirls Sororitysistas, Sweetyurizan, Bbwdepot Blackbootyinvasion AriaValentino BigBoobsfatBooty UnivesrityBubbleButts Momsacheater Arabstreethookers whitecicksinblackchicks AsianchicksAmericanDicks

12-01-2006, 08:08 AM	#19
Holly Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Jesusland Posts: 10,017	I saw him on TV the other night and he looks freaky. He must be addicted to plastic surgery because his face looked like a mask. __________________ War National Damn Champions Eagle

12-01-2006, 08:15 AM	#20
adultchica Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: usa Posts: 5,141	He's still a stud! he is getting a little geriatric though....... __________________

12-01-2006, 08:35 AM	#21
Big_D CRAZY MOFUKKA Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,296	haha, thats great man

12-01-2006, 08:40 AM	#22
Mr.Right - Banned For Life I guarantee it Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 18,314	Burt Rocks.

12-01-2006, 08:46 AM	#23
jasminexxx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 13,816	Burt Reynolds rocks

12-01-2006, 10:46 AM	#25
Z Vidi Vici Veni Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 6,308	Burt's the man

12-02-2006, 12:14 AM	#26
SPACE GLIDER Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,550	What happened to his ex wife. I remember she was pretty once

12-02-2006, 11:53 AM	#28
Profits of Doom Monster Rain Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mongo Posts: 4,978	I thought Loni Andrson was his ex-wife...wasn't Jerry Hall Mick Jagger's ex? __________________ “My Free Cams Affiliate Program by CrakRevenue”

12-02-2006, 03:25 PM	#30
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	He still gets the ladies __________________ [email protected]

12-02-2006, 03:27 PM	#31
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	he's still a sexy beast __________________ Need a Text Writer? Blogs\|Reviews\|Descriptions\|Paysites\|TGP's\|Stories ICQ: 397892500

12-02-2006, 04:17 PM	#32
NaughtyRob Two fresh affiliate progs Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Inside teen pussy Posts: 29,602	Haha, great story! __________________ [email protected] Skype: 17026955414 Vacares Web Hosting - Protect Your Ass with Included Daily Backups

12-02-2006, 04:22 PM	#33
jact Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Oakville, Canada Posts: 9,134	a 29 day trial that renews cheaper then a monthly membership.. That's different. __________________ Free agent

12-02-2006, 04:25 PM	#34
Paysighting Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sweden Posts: 850	LOL, nice story!

12-02-2006, 05:10 PM	#35
tenletters Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: the deep south Posts: 2,079	Burt manhandled me back in the day... it almost gayed me up. __________________ Useless Without Pics

12-04-2006, 02:09 AM	#37
SPACE GLIDER Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,550	Yeah Loni Anderson was Burt's ex. I remember when she was that hot secretary on that show about the radio station. Last time I saw her she was a not-so-hot looking ex wife

12-04-2006, 03:08 AM	#38
rounders Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: p0rn0stars & h0es Posts: 2,931	Thats tight!! __________________ ICQ#: 153923840