Uncyclopedia Def: "Prostitution"

..a few other good ones!

"USA"

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/USA

The Union of Stupid Aristocrats was founded by a gaylord called George Washington in 1577.

It is the stupidest off-shore island of Finland. Also sometimes known as "The worlds greatest Hypocracy" or "The Leader of the Opressing world". The USA is bent on freeing the rest of the world by introducing "Democracy" (by force) so that their people can make free decisions (selling the USA all their oil for a mediocre price) and live in 'free doom' or just plain civil war(reference:Iraq).

Due to intense activism and pressure, the country is currently run by a democratically-elected unity-government called Bechtel. As every perfect democracy, every presidential election is frauded by a very complex voting system. Specially when the winner actually can't be president.

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"Canada"

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Canada

America's Frosted Hat, Soviet Canuckistan, Canadia or The Shizzle North of Hizzle, but more commonly known as "The Great White North", is situated somewhere near the inconsequential continental U.S.A., and slightly south of the North Pole. The United Nations has managed to narrow it down further to not only north of the U.S. but also up, eh?

To answer the question the entire world is asking, yes, Canada has an Army, and no, Canada doesn't know about it. Canadians are known for their peacefulness and politeness in distressing situations, such as during a war or hockey playoffs. The world looks to Canada for international peace-keepers, since they possess no weapons other than snow shovels, and their jovial accent and flannel clothing are comforting[1].

The unanimously[2] agreed upon capital of Canada is Toronto, although a small number of government offices are located in the far less important city of Ottawa. Proposals made entirely and only by Torontonians have been made to move said offices to Toronto, but have yet to be approved. The city has considered separating from the country because of this. The rest of Canada, meanwhile, continues to think that Toronto "blows" and that the city's curling team, the Leafs, "suck".

The world sees Canada as America's dorky half brother, (although Canada sees the USA as a retarded cousin.) Canada and the USA share a common mother, that being England, but while America's father was apparently Jesus, Canada's was France. While little brother Canada may not be able to throw the ball as far as its "cool" older half-brother America, Canada can at least find itself on a map (of course, Canada finds itself by locating the USA and going north, much like Mexicans find America by locating Mexico and going north).

Fucking lol

sex:

“Sex doesn't exist. Two reasons. By definition "sex" would have no reference points available to draw the conclusion it was "everything" beyond the absence of further information. "Sex" would have to disprove, to itself, existence from no information. The logic that leads one to presume an inability to disprove sex, disproves sex.

Secondly, sex is a moniker attached to a set of qualities some find worshipful. Some do not find these qualities worshipful. The notion of an objectively perfect thingy just doesn't work if one accepts the notion of free will.

So, no matter how one looks at it and, importantly, no matter what exists, sex, as our monotheistic religions defines it, doesn't.''”

nice one...

thats great