ED's UFO Storys Part 2

[ED_I_aint_got_no_belt]

Part 2 Motherfucker


When I woke up the next morning I went outside and told Mrs. Tribble to wake up

She jumped up and tried to hit me.

I told her to settle down woman

Then I told her to get in the house and make my breakfast, cause I had the munchies

I went inside and cleaned the jizz off the bedroom window

Then I sat down and ate my fixings while we discussed what happened the previous day

I asked Mrs. Tribble what we would say if anyone asked where we were

She said she didn?t remember because she got hit in the head to much, but she wanted to tell the truth

I told her I saw one of the things and it jizzed on me and that the one that didn?t talk hit it and it crapped itself

I then pointed to the jizz stain and said I was keeping it for evidence

Mrs. Tribble said we should tell our story to the class today

I told her if we tell them what really happed the MIB?s won?t be able to take us out, because they know if we disappeared it would be suspicious

Mrs. Tribble said instead of reading the My Teachers an alien we will tell them about the real aliens and the government

That day nothing happened until about 6 pm when I heard a helicopter

So I went outside and looked up to see a black military helicopters hovering around my house

I got pissed off at that and gave it the finger

About a minute later Mrs. Tribble comes out with a tire iron

She tried to throw it at the helicopter yelling "get away from my fucking property"

After about 7 minutes the helicopter flew off to the North East

Nothing else happened that night but I got to jizz again but this time not on the window




The next day we headed off to school

When the kids came in, I got my chair and sat next to the card system and stared at the kids

I heard this one kid talking about Stone Cold Steve Austin winning the title and I told him wrestling was trash

The kid looked at me and gave me a dirty look

I sat their eating an apple and cutting it up with my knife till it was first recess

I then got up and started digging threw the desk of the kid that gave me the dirty look

Then I pulled out my knife and started carving the desk, so he would get in trouble

The bell rang and Mrs. Tribble went out and got the class

As soon as we got back Mrs. Tribble was yelling at the kid that gave me the dirty look and another troubled kid for getting in a fight with a girl that they always went after.

She told the one that gave me the dirt look to move his card to yellow and told the other to move his to red and gave him a citation

He sat down and started sniffing it

Not much more happened except the kid that gave me the dirty look was beating on his desk

Then it was lunch and we went to the cafeteria

I forgot to bring lunch so I went down to the cafeteria and tried to steel kid?s food

I started taking French toast from the kid that gave me the dirty look

He asked me what I was doing I said I?m eating boy. While a kid was turned I stole his lunch box and ran back to the classroom

I then ate the food I stole

A juice box though started giving me problems so I stabbed it with my knife and consumed its contents

The lunch bell then rang and it was time to tell these young fucks about the aliens and government

When they came back in Mrs. Tribble started yelling at the two kids again and they had to go moved their cards and they achieved double red

I told the kids we weren?t reading and I told them we were gonna tell them a true story that happened to us the other night

So I started

While I was fuckin Mrs. Tribble I saw a light out the window
I got up and took a look at it, and I ended up jizing on my window
I got pissed off so I went out side naked and started screaming at the light
The neighbors saw me naked so they called the cops
The cops all showed up and yell at me for being naked in a residential area
So I get all pissed again, I get on top of the car and pissed on the windshield
The big hahahahahaha one grabs me and handcuffs me
Then they wrap me in a foil blanket and throw me in a cop car
Then I get all pissed off again, and took a big shit on the seat
I smeared it in a circular motion with my crack
Then I got violent and banged my head on the window





Then all of a sudden the door of the class room busted open and the MIB?s were back

MIB 2 pulled out his black object

MIB 1 said "you can?t be telling these people what happened even though it didn?t happen you still can?t tell them what didn?t happen"

Mrs. Tribble picked up the electric pencil sharpener and threw it at MIB 1

MIB 2 then knocked her out cold with the black object

Mr. Ernst all of a sudden busted in yelling "what the hell is going on in here?"

MIB 1 said "you need to leave now and close the door"

MIB 1 then pulled the sack out again and I said I?m not getting it that again it?s stained"

Then they put me in the sack anyway

I was pissed so started pissing in it

One of the kids said that thing smells

I started to yell "I pissed my sack I pissed my sack"

The MIB that talked handed out documents and made the kids sign them.

The kid that gave me the dirty look raised his hand and said "I saw a helicopter and I was drunk and high"

MIB 1 said "sign it" and he said "were taking your teachers away but were not actually taking them away and there here?

The MIB's then started dragging us down the hallways

They took us to the teachers parking lot, and put Mrs. Tribble in the back seat and me in the trunk

The car then began to move