When your girl wont put out!!!!!!!!!! - GoFuckYourself.com

LA Mike · 11-01-2006, 11:56 AM

I found this... lol kinda funny

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

mike217 · 11-01-2006, 11:59 AM

That was fucking hilarious. Too bad I'd be castrated if I ever tried to do that. Ouch.

LiveDose · 11-01-2006, 12:01 PM

Haha funny story and oh so true...

martinsc · 11-01-2006, 12:05 PM

Outlinezero_yourmofoLOLO · 11-01-2006, 12:05 PM

wtf!

my girl is gonna kill me if i ever pull something like that on her

DutchTeenCash · 11-01-2006, 12:06 PM

too funny

pigman · 11-01-2006, 12:08 PM

Owned ;D

Mr. Romance · 11-01-2006, 12:14 PM

Romance

Mr. Romance

Jman · 11-01-2006, 12:22 PM

Love it, thanks for the laugh Mike

SxDx · 11-01-2006, 12:22 PM

old, olllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld joke.

still funny though

Sharky · 11-01-2006, 12:25 PM

Classic! Classic!

Eric · 11-01-2006, 12:25 PM

My girl would just say... "FUCK YOU I will buy this shit myself then!"

Aneros Josh · 11-01-2006, 12:27 PM

great joke...You can fuck a Fleshlight all day long and it's happy with you just buying it some lube every once in a while

Fleshlight=pussy insurance

baddog · 11-01-2006, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Tender Thighs

My girl would just say... "FUCK YOU I will buy this shit myself then!"

As she should, however, then you have the issue of her just taking care of the sex on her own too.

jmk · 11-01-2006, 12:32 PM

moaueaheahehaeheahaeaeh that's brilliant ...

Here is what I'd do though.... I'd buy it ... she'd put out then and the next day drump her and return all the junk :P

MrMaxwell · 11-01-2006, 12:33 PM

I guess alot of men actually allow their wife to pull shit like that
They say their wife "punishes" them by with-holding sex

If a woman thinks she's doing me a favor by having my dick up her,
I don't want to jam it up her any way.

No woman will ever hold a sexual anything over me.. if I ever take a new wife, which I probably won't, she'll either take care of me or the housegirls will.. it's pretty simple.

axelcat · 11-01-2006, 12:39 PM

Bryan G · 11-01-2006, 12:40 PM

OMG Classic......you are the man!!!!!

DjSap · 11-01-2006, 12:42 PM

haha awesome...

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 11-01-2006, 12:42 PM

i LOL'd

Just Mike · 11-01-2006, 12:44 PM

OMG thats hilarious

bobby666 · 11-01-2006, 12:47 PM

a real life drama, each of us recognized a special scene as well known :-)

King Soil · 11-01-2006, 12:52 PM

pwnd!!!!

OG LennyT · 11-01-2006, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LA Mike

I found this... lol kinda funny

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

classic

chaze · 11-01-2006, 01:10 PM

I liked it, true but no women will agree.

Kimmykim · 11-01-2006, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

I guess alot of men actually allow their wife to pull shit like that
They say their wife "punishes" them by with-holding sex

If a woman thinks she's doing me a favor by having my dick up her,
I don't want to jam it up her any way.

No woman will ever hold a sexual anything over me.. if I ever take a new wife, which I probably won't, she'll either take care of me or the housegirls will.. it's pretty simple.

Odd way of expressing oneself.

PussyTeenies · 11-01-2006, 01:19 PM

whahaah classic!!!

adultguus · 11-01-2006, 01:19 PM

I think I would have ensured myself of a few months without sex if I pulled something like that on my girlfriend.

respect · 11-01-2006, 01:19 PM

funny

dutchteencash kayla · 11-01-2006, 01:21 PM

Classic!

Sosa · 11-01-2006, 01:22 PM

lol thats awesome

Pete-KT · 11-01-2006, 01:26 PM

Thats great mike

LA Mike · 11-01-2006, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimmykim

Odd way of expressing oneself.

haha, my theory is that I'm so good I should be the one withholding sex :P

Bitches should pay my ass

GlydeGirl · 11-01-2006, 02:10 PM

That was a hilarious story!

punker barbie · 11-01-2006, 02:52 PM

ROFL.

Mike you are friggin hilarious and two thumbs up on proving your point. Maybe she'll let down her guard and you'll get some. If not my girl here in Scottsdale still asks about you LOL

btw- i imagine your gf is between the ages of 19-22

Dvae · 11-01-2006, 03:14 PM

scottybuzz · 11-01-2006, 03:33 PM

thats pretty funny

Kimo · 11-01-2006, 03:38 PM

so fucking owned

LA Mike · 11-01-2006, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by punker barbie

ROFL.

Mike you are friggin hilarious and two thumbs up on proving your point. Maybe she'll let down her guard and you'll get some. If not my girl here in Scottsdale still asks about you LOL

btw- i imagine your gf is between the ages of 19-22

lol, that's not me that did that. It's just some post I found on another board and thought it was funny.

I dont have a GF.. I'm gay! duh and yes 19-22 is perfect

u-Bob · 11-01-2006, 04:18 PM

old but funny.

JD · 11-01-2006, 04:44 PM

lol good shit man!

Shotoku · 11-01-2006, 05:52 PM

SilentBean · 11-01-2006, 06:08 PM

Psycho_x · 11-01-2006, 06:12 PM

LMFAO...If I tried that shit.I be living in my car.

J. Falcon · 11-01-2006, 06:13 PM

that shit was funny lol

Spunky · 11-01-2006, 06:16 PM

I would get a kick in the nuts and still no sex

seeric · 11-01-2006, 06:16 PM

shit man i was almost very depressed until it got to the "go to the cash register" part.

i almost lost faith in manhood.

Phoenix · 11-01-2006, 06:17 PM

i have learnt it is just best to comply...lol

marketsmart · 11-01-2006, 06:17 PM

funny

ImLost · 11-01-2006, 06:28 PM

11-01-2006, 11:56 AM	#1
LA Mike Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 3,056	When your girl wont put out!!!!!!!!!! I found this... lol kinda funny One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

11-01-2006, 11:59 AM	#2
mike217 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 448	That was fucking hilarious. Too bad I'd be castrated if I ever tried to do that. Ouch. __________________ ICQ me: 452467182 Check me out on adult who's who:See Who I Am At AdultWhosWho.com! Traffic Traffic and more Traffic

11-01-2006, 12:01 PM	#3
LiveDose Show Yer Tits! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Somewhere Out there... Posts: 25,792	Haha funny story and oh so true... __________________ Scammer Alert: acer19 acer [email protected] [email protected] Money stolen using PayPal

11-01-2006, 12:05 PM	#4
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

11-01-2006, 12:05 PM	#5
Outlinezero_yourmofoLOLO Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: halftomato.com Posts: 532	wtf! my girl is gonna kill me if i ever pull something like that on her __________________ Paysites, Landing pages, Tubes, Banners, Galleries, Mainstream Sites and promo materials, Html5/Css3/Sass/CMS integrations & More Adult & Mainstream design and development @ Halftomato.com Icq: 723 964 980 . Skype me \|at\| halftomato.com . email: me \|at\| halftomato.com

11-01-2006, 12:06 PM	#6
DutchTeenCash I like Dutch Girls Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: dutchteencash.com Posts: 21,684	too funny __________________ ICQ 16 91 547 - SKYPE dutchteencash bob AT dutchteencash DOT com ... did you see our newest Sweet Natural Girl Priscilla (18)?

11-01-2006, 12:08 PM	#7
pigman Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 760	Owned ;D

11-01-2006, 12:14 PM	#8
Mr. Romance The Face of Romance and the Symbol of Freedom Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The America's Posts: 7,821	Romance Mr. Romance __________________ Free Leads Program now paying up to $6 Gerard-Director of Global Sales Sign up Here: CamStarCash Check out: FreeCamStars ICQ: 330 662 299 gerard at freecamstars . com

11-01-2006, 12:22 PM	#9
Jman Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Canuckstikan Posts: 22,769	Love it, thanks for the laugh Mike __________________ email: [email protected] Best AI Affiliate Program We also do WL at $0.00 upfront costs FantasyXXX.AI Teams: jean.francois.laverdiere TG: @jman1216

11-01-2006, 12:22 PM	#10
SxDx Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: SoFla Posts: 2,254	old, olllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld joke. still funny though __________________ Hundies.com - $35/Trial Signup - All Exclusive!! scott (at) dnav.com (dot) com ICQ: 242-444-884

11-01-2006, 12:25 PM	#11
Sharky Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 4,938	Classic! Classic! __________________ Sharky

11-01-2006, 12:25 PM	#12
Eric Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: The Helm! Posts: 8,818	My girl would just say... "FUCK YOU I will buy this shit myself then!" __________________ No One

11-01-2006, 12:27 PM	#13
Aneros Josh Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 2,038	great joke...You can fuck a Fleshlight all day long and it's happy with you just buying it some lube every once in a while Fleshlight=pussy insurance

11-01-2006, 12:32 PM	#15
jmk Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,391	moaueaheahehaeheahaeaeh that's brilliant ... Here is what I'd do though.... I'd buy it ... she'd put out then and the next day drump her and return all the junk :P

11-01-2006, 12:33 PM	#16
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	I guess alot of men actually allow their wife to pull shit like that They say their wife "punishes" them by with-holding sex If a woman thinks she's doing me a favor by having my dick up her, I don't want to jam it up her any way. No woman will ever hold a sexual anything over me.. if I ever take a new wife, which I probably won't, she'll either take care of me or the housegirls will.. it's pretty simple.

11-01-2006, 12:39 PM	#17
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450

11-01-2006, 12:40 PM	#18
Bryan G Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,338	OMG Classic......you are the man!!!!! __________________ Bryan skype: bryan.glass3 \| ICQ 302999591

11-01-2006, 12:42 PM	#19
DjSap Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 3,869	haha awesome... __________________ Blog Themes, TGP Design, Writing Services, Grunt Work ICQ: 66871495

11-01-2006, 12:42 PM	#20
Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE MOBILE PORN: IMOBILEPORN Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Tinseltown NL Posts: 16,502	i LOL'd

11-01-2006, 12:44 PM	#21
Just Mike Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In a land FAR FAR away Posts: 3,726	OMG thats hilarious __________________ EMAIL: [email protected] / ICQ: 56205262 AWEMPIRE

11-01-2006, 12:47 PM	#22
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	a real life drama, each of us recognized a special scene as well known :-) __________________

11-01-2006, 12:52 PM	#23
King Soil Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 195	pwnd!!!!

11-01-2006, 01:10 PM	#25
chaze Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 9,752	I liked it, true but no women will agree.

11-01-2006, 01:19 PM	#27
PussyTeenies Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Haarlem and Amsterdam, capital of the porn world ;-) Posts: 6,496	whahaah classic!!! __________________ Need adult hosting? Contact us! WARM Hosting Need an IT solution? or someone to check your site and security? Nossie - IT Professional

11-01-2006, 01:19 PM	#28
adultguus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 815	I think I would have ensured myself of a few months without sex if I pulled something like that on my girlfriend. __________________ Want to have your own review site in 2 minutes? Visit us now! For the surfers: Porn Reviews

11-01-2006, 01:19 PM	#29
respect Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 18,399	funny

11-01-2006, 01:21 PM	#30
dutchteencash kayla Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 93	Classic! __________________ ICQ 414-936-259 kayla AT dutchteencash DOT com Hey I'm Kayla - DTCs new sales rep... hit me up

11-01-2006, 01:22 PM	#31
Sosa In Tushy Land Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 40,149	lol thats awesome

11-01-2006, 01:26 PM	#32
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	Thats great mike

11-01-2006, 02:10 PM	#34
GlydeGirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,516	That was a hilarious story!

11-01-2006, 02:52 PM	#35
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,228	ROFL. Mike you are friggin hilarious and two thumbs up on proving your point. Maybe she'll let down her guard and you'll get some. If not my girl here in Scottsdale still asks about you LOL btw- i imagine your gf is between the ages of 19-22 __________________ Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected]

11-01-2006, 03:14 PM	#36
Dvae Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: US Posts: 5,326	__________________ . . Arguing with a troll is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig, after a couple of hours you realize the pig likes it.

11-01-2006, 03:33 PM	#37
scottybuzz Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Location: NY Posts: 14,800	thats pretty funny __________________ $$$$$ MAKE HUGE MONEY IN CAMS - CLICK HERE $$$$$

11-01-2006, 03:38 PM	#38
Kimo ... Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Maryland ICQ:87038677 Posts: 11,542	so fucking owned __________________ ...

11-01-2006, 04:18 PM	#40
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	old but funny.