Words cannot adequately express how funny this was. Hate me or not, you MUST read. - GoFuckYourself.com

jimthefiend · 09-27-2006, 05:41 PM

I'll do my best here, this even challenges MY skills of expression.

Ok. Two hours ago I am sitting in a local bar getting a headache trying to read forums on my cell phone. I'd had maybe a beer and a half and 2 shots. I'm chatting up the bartender who is going to become GOOD content.

Anyway, the phone rings. It is my friend Amy.

Amy is the "night shift" manager of the local branch of Dial America, which in case you didn't know, is a telemarketing firm.

Amy says hello, I say hello back; then do shot number 3.

She is in a tizzy. Their "tech guy" had quit on the spot about an hour before and she could not get ahold of the Big Guy to have the situation dealt with. The problem was that none of the fucking supervisors knew how to import a DB into their dialer. So they were almost out of "leads" and were gonna be SOL in about 30 minutes unless they got the problem handled.

I understand the Hip Telemarketing Lingo because my ex wife was management there in like 92 thru 99.

At this point I do shot #4 and resign myself to the fact that I am going to embark on an annoying experience within minutes.

I try and miserably fail to walk her through some basics, but I am not familiar with their system and she is blonde anyway. So 20 minutes later I am walking up the stairs to their offices or whatever you call the place where broke ass college students and single mothers earn beer money by annoying the Northern Hemisphere of this continent.

I did shot's #5 and #6 en route.

Background: Amy knows me WELL. We've been partying for like 15 years or something ridiculous. That said, IMHO she should have known better than to ask me to visit ANY place of business where the employees weren't sporting pasties. I mean WTF? She's a gnob.

Ok. So I'm walking down the hall which opens up into the "bullpen". That's where the idiots that try to sell you 400 dollar Time Life book collections earn their mad bling.

That's when I see something that is decidely fucking just I dunno, MESSED UP. 20 feet or so down the hallway, right in the junction of the hall and the big telemarketing command center, I see 5 people. They are having DRAMA.

Person #1 is a large negress. She has BIG ass but is dressed well.
Person #2 is a brunette. Little chunky but I'd hit it.
Person #3 is a pretty cute white twat with light hair.
Person #4 is a dude wearing khakis and a button down shirt. His shirt is tucked in so I assume he's a fag.

They are all obviously focused on person #5.

Person #5 is at LEAST 6 foot tall. Hes a bruiser. Big guy. He had a LOT of tattoos, I'd define the tats on his left arm as a sleeve. His right arm wasn't too far behind. He's wearing leather pants and a black t-shirt that he's cut the sleeves off of. The shirt has some gothic/punk/idiot logo on it. I didn't look too close because I was immediately distracted by the fact that he was crying.

CRYING.

Why was he crying you ask?

I'll answer those questions and MORE in Part Two.

This is the FUNNIEST fucking thing I've EVER seen. Tune in next week. Same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.

AmateurWealth · 09-27-2006, 06:07 PM

somebody fart?

escorpio · 09-27-2006, 06:17 PM

Fuck! I hate cliffhangers.

CheeseFrog · 09-27-2006, 06:17 PM

sig spot

vvq · 09-27-2006, 06:30 PM

such suspense!

Sultry_Selenia · 09-27-2006, 06:39 PM

Damn the cliffhangers :p

E$_manager · 09-27-2006, 09:42 PM

cliffhangers.... i don't like them too.

Deej · 09-27-2006, 10:09 PM

Youre Such a bitch jimthefiend....

CuriousToyBoy · 09-27-2006, 11:52 PM

Nice foreplay bitch.

;-)

GrouchyAdmin · 09-27-2006, 11:56 PM

09-27-2006, 11:58 PM

Good story so far... I'll read the rest when it arrives.

RevSand · 09-28-2006, 12:03 AM

DAMN IT.. what a fucking tease!

09-28-2006, 12:03 AM

I want to know the rest of the story!!!

KustomKowgurl · 09-28-2006, 12:10 AM

damnit! not fair...by the time the other half comes in i'll have forgotten the first part and i'll have forgotten that i was supposed to be looking for the second part. damnit.

L0stMind · 09-28-2006, 12:11 AM

best JTF thread. Ever.

tony286 · 09-28-2006, 12:12 AM

I hate my ass in two parts lol

CuriousToyBoy · 09-28-2006, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L0stMind

best JTF thread. Ever.

u-Bob · 09-28-2006, 02:47 AM

bump for part 2

justsexxx · 09-28-2006, 03:02 AM

You read forums on your cellphone IN a bar? Jeez how sad is that/....

jimthefiend · 09-28-2006, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justsexxx

You read forums on your cellphone IN a bar? Jeez how sad is that/....

Not normally, no. I got a new phone recently was just messing about.

selena · 09-28-2006, 06:01 AM

I hope I can remember the first part when the second installment hits the press.

Pure Evil · 09-28-2006, 06:08 AM

you assfuck! i read all of that only for a to be continued

Scootermuze · 09-28-2006, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by escorpio

Fuck! I hate cliffhangers.

Kinda unrelated, but I never understood some of the shows
that end in a cliffhanger, then show scenes from the next episode.. kinda throws the cliffhanger deal out the window..

DirtyJs · 09-28-2006, 06:48 AM

is this the lifetime channel?

SCORE Ralph · 09-28-2006, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirtyJs

is this the lifetime channel?

More like Oxygen

09-27-2006, 09:42 PM	#7
E$_manager Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: pink adult dreams Posts: 13,557	cliffhangers.... i don't like them too. __________________ Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks! Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D

09-27-2006, 10:09 PM	#8
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	Youre Such a bitch jimthefiend.... __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880

09-27-2006, 11:52 PM	#9
CuriousToyBoy Crazy Aussie Bastard Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Wherever I lay my hat, that's my home. Posts: 16,787	Nice foreplay bitch. ;-) __________________ Celebs Adult Who's Who ==> Ambush Interview ==> ICQ 293 070 684 ==> intmarpacrim AT gmail DOT com

09-27-2006, 11:56 PM	#10
GrouchyAdmin Now choke yourself! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,085	__________________ AIM: GrouchyGfy

09-28-2006, 12:03 AM	#12
RevSand Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Porn Valley Posts: 8,151	DAMN IT.. what a fucking tease! __________________ BadBitchesGoodWeed Hire me for all your video shooting needs!! Skype = RevSandx

09-27-2006, 05:41 PM	#1
jimthefiend So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: icq: 121189 Posts: 18,889	Words cannot adequately express how funny this was. Hate me or not, you MUST read. I'll do my best here, this even challenges MY skills of expression. Ok. Two hours ago I am sitting in a local bar getting a headache trying to read forums on my cell phone. I'd had maybe a beer and a half and 2 shots. I'm chatting up the bartender who is going to become GOOD content. Anyway, the phone rings. It is my friend Amy. Amy is the "night shift" manager of the local branch of Dial America, which in case you didn't know, is a telemarketing firm. Amy says hello, I say hello back; then do shot number 3. She is in a tizzy. Their "tech guy" had quit on the spot about an hour before and she could not get ahold of the Big Guy to have the situation dealt with. The problem was that none of the fucking supervisors knew how to import a DB into their dialer. So they were almost out of "leads" and were gonna be SOL in about 30 minutes unless they got the problem handled. I understand the Hip Telemarketing Lingo because my ex wife was management there in like 92 thru 99. At this point I do shot #4 and resign myself to the fact that I am going to embark on an annoying experience within minutes. I try and miserably fail to walk her through some basics, but I am not familiar with their system and she is blonde anyway. So 20 minutes later I am walking up the stairs to their offices or whatever you call the place where broke ass college students and single mothers earn beer money by annoying the Northern Hemisphere of this continent. I did shot's #5 and #6 en route. Background: Amy knows me WELL. We've been partying for like 15 years or something ridiculous. That said, IMHO she should have known better than to ask me to visit ANY place of business where the employees weren't sporting pasties. I mean WTF? She's a gnob. Ok. So I'm walking down the hall which opens up into the "bullpen". That's where the idiots that try to sell you 400 dollar Time Life book collections earn their mad bling. That's when I see something that is decidely fucking just I dunno, MESSED UP. 20 feet or so down the hallway, right in the junction of the hall and the big telemarketing command center, I see 5 people. They are having DRAMA. Person #1 is a large negress. She has BIG ass but is dressed well. Person #2 is a brunette. Little chunky but I'd hit it. Person #3 is a pretty cute white twat with light hair. Person #4 is a dude wearing khakis and a button down shirt. His shirt is tucked in so I assume he's a fag. They are all obviously focused on person #5. Person #5 is at LEAST 6 foot tall. Hes a bruiser. Big guy. He had a LOT of tattoos, I'd define the tats on his left arm as a sleeve. His right arm wasn't too far behind. He's wearing leather pants and a black t-shirt that he's cut the sleeves off of. The shirt has some gothic/punk/idiot logo on it. I didn't look too close because I was immediately distracted by the fact that he was crying. CRYING. Why was he crying you ask? I'll answer those questions and MORE in Part Two. This is the FUNNIEST fucking thing I've EVER seen. Tune in next week. Same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.

09-27-2006, 06:07 PM	#2
AmateurWealth Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 506	somebody fart? __________________ Amateur Wealth 60% REVSHARE $60 per active member! EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! AND NATS!! AIM: AmateurWealth Email: support AT amateurwealth.com

09-27-2006, 06:17 PM	#3
escorpio I love to racism, bro! Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA! USA! USA! Posts: 23,133	Fuck! I hate cliffhangers. __________________ Unvaxxed, still alive.

09-27-2006, 06:17 PM	#4
CheeseFrog Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: AZ Posts: 1,724	sig spot __________________ Cary \| AIM: cheesefrog \| ICQ: 4287002

09-27-2006, 06:30 PM	#5
vvq Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: TrafficGigolos.com Posts: 2,732	such suspense! __________________ SQUIRTING - LESBIAN SPANKING - TITTY FUCKING - WET PANTIES - MORE We offer free hosting, your own designer (works for free), and unsaturated content for gallery and free site submitters. Just contact me! E-mail: [email protected]

09-27-2006, 06:39 PM	#6
Sultry_Selenia Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 337	Damn the cliffhangers :p __________________ Adult copywriting, blogging and reviewing services ICQ 269179271 \| Retro Porn

09-27-2006, 11:58 PM	#11
shermo Guest Posts: n/a	Good story so far... I'll read the rest when it arrives.

09-28-2006, 12:03 AM	#13
buddyjuf Guest Posts: n/a	I want to know the rest of the story!!!

09-28-2006, 12:10 AM	#14
KustomKowgurl Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 322	damnit! not fair...by the time the other half comes in i'll have forgotten the first part and i'll have forgotten that i was supposed to be looking for the second part. damnit.

09-28-2006, 12:11 AM	#15
L0stMind Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Vancity Posts: 1,681	best JTF thread. Ever. __________________ http://cashcore.com - Make Money. http://ezprovider.net - Hosting.

09-28-2006, 12:12 AM	#16
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	I hate my ass in two parts lol

09-28-2006, 02:47 AM	#18
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	bump for part 2

09-28-2006, 03:02 AM	#19
justsexxx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,723	You read forums on your cellphone IN a bar? Jeez how sad is that/.... __________________ Questions? ICQ: 125184542

09-28-2006, 06:01 AM	#21
selena Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On The Edge Posts: 7,994	I hope I can remember the first part when the second installment hits the press. __________________ ~ Doer of Things at MetArtMoney Where Flawless Beauty Meets Art ~The MetArt Network ~ selena.delgado9

09-28-2006, 06:08 AM	#22
Pure Evil Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: At the top of the food chain Posts: 1,737	you assfuck! i read all of that only for a to be continued __________________ I am the fourth Horseman. *If someone offers you an amazing hosting deal, call WEBAIR before you choose. You won't* be sorry.**

09-28-2006, 06:48 AM	#24
DirtyJs So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 307	is this the lifetime channel?