The 30 Truths About Porn: What Do You Think?

[Platinum Albert]

Hello Everyone!

A friend sent me this email and I thought I had to share it on the board. How appropriate for the adult industry Sometimes, I seem to forget that PORN is creative as well as comical!

The 30 Truths of PORN:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she
will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face
with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild
guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to
take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and
the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in
the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of
you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a
woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best
friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the
both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for
him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result
for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a
man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place
one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

[Captain P]

That's hilarious.

Whoever made that list knows his porn.

[foe]

not bad at all

[Captain P]

Here's a couple more...

When ever 2 women are left alone, they will eat each other out.

Anyone making a delivery to a house will get laid.

Public bathrooms are a perfect place to Fuck.

Music automatically starts when the fuckin' starts.

Not as good as your list Albert but I had to try and come up with a couple. There's probably a million more if I think hard enough. God knows I've watched enough pornos to make a whole 'nother list.

[12clicks]

Originally posted by Platinum Albert


The 30 Truths of PORN:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she
will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face
with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild
guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to
take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and
the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in
the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of
you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a
woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best
friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the
both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for
him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result
for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a
man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place
one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

dude, these have been my life experiences. I see nothing odd about it.

[CharlieBrown]

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild
guitar solo in the background.



haha

[Paul Markham]

Sounds right to me, so what is the point?

[tejano B]

19. There's a plot.

Goddammit' I've been sayin' that fer years!

[sexpress]