The worst analogies ever written in a high school essay

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Snake Doctor
    I'm Lenny2 Bitch
    • Mar 2001
    • 13449

    #1

    The worst analogies ever written in a high school essay

    They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

    He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

    She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

    McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

    From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

    Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

    Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

    The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

    Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

    The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

    John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

    The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

    His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
    sig too big
  • ~Ray
    visit hardlinks.org
    • Jun 2003
    • 18361

    #2
    "He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

    Adult Backlinks for Adult Websites - Testimonials Available

    Comment

    • Ace_luffy
      www.creationcrew.com
      • Feb 2005
      • 12166

      #3
      Originally posted by AdvertisingSex
      "He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."


      ..............................


      ++ Adult and Mainstream Websites Designs | 10 banners for only $50 | html5 Banners ++
      email : [email protected] Telegram : https://t.me/creationcrew WhatsApp : +63 956 420 4819 | HTML5/Responsive Site - Div/CSS - ElevatedX - NATs - Wordpress

      Comment

      • Violetta
        Affiliate
        • Jul 2004
        • 28735

        #4
        Originally posted by Lenny2
        From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.


        John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
        M&A Queen

        Comment

        • Damian_Maxcash
          So Fucking Banned
          • Oct 2002
          • 12745

          #5
          WTF?

          Yet again I am left clinging to my sanity....

          Comment

          • GatorB
            The Demon & 12clicks
            • Oct 2001
            • 18208

            #6
            "Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. "

            Well when you put it that way I really get what the author is trying to convey.

            Comment

            • Damian_Maxcash
              So Fucking Banned
              • Oct 2002
              • 12745

              #7
              Originally posted by GatorB
              "Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. "

              Well when you put it that way I really get what the author is trying to convey.
              Not as good as "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."

              Comment

              • msan
                Confirmed User
                • Jun 2006
                • 1336

                #8
                Hahaha I don't know what to say. I'm dumbfounded.
                CUSTOM TOONS, BLOG THEMES and DESIGNS | toonyshack AT gmail.com

                Comment

                • woj
                  <&(©¿©)&>
                  • Jul 2002
                  • 47882

                  #9
                  good shit
                  Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000
                  Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager
                  Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

                  Comment

                  • Samir Nagheenanajar
                    So Fucking Banned
                    • Aug 2006
                    • 481

                    #10
                    Will you be as big of an asshole as JimTheFriend was? If not I will stop reading your posts and quit promoting epic cash..

                    Comment

                    • notabook
                      Confirmed User
                      • Apr 2006
                      • 9748

                      #11
                      ?From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.?

                      That?s the perfect analogy, I don?t care what you communist bastards think.

                      Comment

                      • XLCowBoy
                        Confirmed User
                        • Jun 2006
                        • 160

                        #12
                        [qoute]Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. [/quote]

                        How romantic
                        www.pixel-kitchen.com
                        Expert Webdesign
                        Flash
                        PHP Programming
                        VB.NET

                        Comment

                        Working...