Juice Bigalow (PIC and more) "He only charges $10, but he's willing to negotiate" - GoFuckYourself.com

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 09-08-2006, 09:25 PM

Deuce learned all his tricks from the Juice...

DB1:

Quote:

T.J. Hicks: See this ring? Topaz, my mother's birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
Deuce Bigalow: Where?
T.J. Hicks: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
Deuce Bigalow: Man-whoring?
T.J. Hicks: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.
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T.J. Hicks: I prefer to be called a male madame. Wait, that didn't sound right.
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T.J. Hicks: Don't make me he-bitch man-slap you!
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T.J. Hicks: You know, Antoine's got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up with my anus.
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Detective Fowler: Do the letters T and J mean anything to you?
Deuce Bigalow: I don't know. Turkey Jizz?
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T.J. Hicks: Claire said Antoine's apartment was messed up, but I had no idea.
Deuce Bigalow: Claire?
T.J. Hicks: The hooker you ass-punched.
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Kate: I don't understand why women do it. I don't see how they can get any pleasure from it. It's gross and unnatural. It's not supposed to go up there. Frankly, I don't even understand why men want that kind of thing either.
Deuce Bigalow: So you're opposed to women being involved in modern space exploration?
Kate: Absolutely! Frankly, I'd rather take it up the butt
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Bailiff: That's a huge bitch!
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[referring to Kate]
Megan: You stay away from her, man-whore!
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T.J. Hicks: Deuce, you the best he-bitch in my man stable. If I had two more manginas like you, I'd be a millionaire.
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[Ruth has Tourettes Syndrome]
Ruth: Fart! Dildo! Big, Big, Big Titties!

DB2:

Quote:

T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: THOSE MOTHER F#$%*%S!
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Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [asking gigolos about their night] And you Assapopolis
Assapopoulos Mariolis: I got the herpes. What're you gonna do, heh.
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [rips off band-aid] Liar! And what about you Mahmoud?
Mahmoud: Uh, I just realized... I'm gay. Does anyone want a blow job?
Dutch Gigolo: I do.
Mahmoud: Ok then. I guess I should go put that penis in my mouth.
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Eva: Before I can go on a date I have to eat 2 herring, collect 5 different tulips and drink a beer from a wooden shoe.
Deuce Bigalow: That's do-able!
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Wealthy Woman in Car: [pulls up in a car] Hey guys! I need a quick gigolo fix. What do you say?
Enzo Giarraputo: Ahh. I'm judging a sand castle building competition this afternoon so... i cant help you.
Mahmoud: Ahh... The dog ate my... Penis.
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T.J. Hicks: You like them big hairy balls dont ya?
T.J. Hicks: Ah you pussy get off of me, get off of me!
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T.J. Hicks: That is Assapopoulos, he can kiss people with his butt whole
Deuce Bigalow: I don't ever wanna see that.
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T.J. Hicks: I'm in blackface. It's my disguise. See?
Deuce Bigalow: But you look the same.
T.J. Hicks: Are you saying black people all look the same? You are such a racist! I should have the good mind not to let you help me prove that I'm innocent.
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Deuce Bigalow: This shirt will make a great ice-breaker.
Angry European: Fuck you American, you imperialistic dog!
Pro American Woman: I love America, I love President Bush. Thank you for bringing democracy to Iraq.
Angry European: Shut *up*!
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[as he is being arrested]
Gaspar Voorsboch: I will see you again, man-whore!
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Deuce Bigalow: We're gonna prove that you didn't kill anyone.
T.J. Hicks: I don't give a damn about that. It's the "extremely gay" part that's bothering me. I mean, if I'm a murderer, they'll welcome me home with open arms. Get out of jail and become a huge rapper. But a gay pimp? Like, where am I going? Vermont?
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T.J. Hicks: I ain't gay! I was just looking down his pants 'cause i heard his shlong was so big, and juicy! No wait! That didn't sound right!
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Tourist: I'm from Canada and I'm wasted!
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T.J. Hicks: Can't a brother put his hand down another man's pants without setting off the faggot alarm?
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[Frenchman is blowing smoke in Deuce's face at an aquarium in Amsterdam]
Deuce Bigalow: Excuse me, but in America, we don't allow smoking in aquariums.
Frenchman: Excuse me, but in Europe, we don't unilaterally invade another country just to steal their oil!
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T.J. Hicks: [after Deuce is biting T.J.'s nipple while high on space cake] Get off my tittie, you doped up cracker!
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T.J. Hicks: Anybody got some antibacterial gel? I got burnt dick on my hand.
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T.J. Hicks: We'll find the killer using your twat-sicle.
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Heinz Hummer: I am Heinz Hummer. I'm the gigolo with the most below. Okay? I can give you a Filthy Lopez like you never had before. I could give you a Cambodian Creamsicle... that will make you scream all night. Okay? But not now because I'm busy. So leave me alone, bitch.

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