Have you had people in your life that are dead now? - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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sperbonzo

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#1

Have you had people in your life that are dead now?

08-24-2006, 05:38 AM

Last night I was sorting through old contacts.... boxes of business cards, old address books, envelopes with scraps of paper on them. That kind of stuff.

I came to an old card file filled with hand written names addresses and phone numbers. As I leafed through it I started coming across names of people that have died in my life. Suicides, motorcycle accidents, the military, rock climbing accidents, overdoses, AIDS, heart attacks, etc.... Lots of people. More than I had realized.

I was tossing aside the cards with the dead ones, and all of the sudden I started to get a tight feeling in my chest. I started remembering each of them. Their faces, their voices, little events that we had shared. My throat was closing up and I felt a deep sense of meloncholy and loss.

I stopped what I was doing.... all I could do was stop and think for a while... I put the stuff away, and eventually had a drink and snuggled up to my wife.

Of course I grieved over each of them at the time that they passed, but I guess there are times, now and then, when you just stop and take stock of all the people that have touched you in your life and are no longer living.

Anyone else ever have this feeling?

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en21

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#2

08-24-2006, 05:47 AM

Yeah... it was not pretty

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#3

08-24-2006, 05:52 AM

Always hard to look back on people who have died. So don't do it.

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Holly

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#4

08-24-2006, 06:07 AM

My father died in May. I don't even let myself think about it yet.

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Sarah_Jayne

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#5

08-24-2006, 06:13 AM

yeah, my husband has been gone for coming up to two years but I am not even close to over it. I don't think I eve rwill be but you just learn to deal with the moments when the memories overtake you a bit too much. I have become the master of the two minute cry.
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sperbonzo

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#6

08-24-2006, 06:48 AM

Originally posted by ajrocks

Always hard to look back on people who have died. So don't do it.

I normally don't.... but in this case it just kind of snuck up on me. Just reading the cards with their names and contact info on it. I wasn't expecting to come across so many...

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TurboAngel

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#7

08-24-2006, 06:49 AM

It's a very sad thing that's for sure.
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#8

08-24-2006, 06:51 AM

Originally posted by Holly

My father died in May. I don't even let myself think about it yet.

he is ok,mine found him and joined a local gang with pac and biggie
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Nismo

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#9

08-24-2006, 06:53 AM

I graduated high school in 2000, and many many kids from my graduating class have died - car wrecks, overdoses, suicides, military, diseases/cancer. It's really weird that so many died so young just a few years after high school. Leaves a very weird feeling in me.

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#10

08-24-2006, 07:01 AM

Originally posted by Soul_Rebel

he is ok,mine found him and joined a local gang with pac and biggie

That's probably true, since I know what a huge, huge fan of gangsta rap my dad was.

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#11

08-24-2006, 07:08 AM

I really wish I never read this thread. As with many people, i've lost some very close people and thinking about them brings both immense sadness and joy for being lucky enough to have known these people...

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#12

08-24-2006, 07:13 AM

they are all in a better place now.. much better than this shithole

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#13

08-24-2006, 07:15 AM

yes, and it's sad. Sometimes I feel sick remembering happy memories with those people. I miss them...

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sperbonzo

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#14

08-24-2006, 07:28 AM

Originally posted by sarah_webinc

yeah, my husband has been gone for coming up to two years but I am not even close to over it. I don't think I eve rwill be but you just learn to deal with the moments when the memories overtake you a bit too much. I have become the master of the two minute cry.

Sarah... I can only imagine what it would be like to lose one's spouse. I don't want to even consider it.

*hugs*

.

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#15

08-24-2006, 07:31 AM

Lastnight at 2am my grandmother lost her battle shes been waging on herself. She was more than my mother since she left us 10+ years ago. So many stories she would tell she traveled the world since her husband that had passed 10 years ago but before he left he was a United States Army Colonel and in the service for 30 years before retiring. That lady literarly saw and lived everywhere in the world.

Lots of things to go through now in her estate, its going to be a long trip without her.

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#16

08-24-2006, 07:32 AM

too many over my life

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#17

08-24-2006, 07:33 AM

Yep and i am still young myself its a strange place thats for sure

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#18

08-24-2006, 07:35 AM

Too many in my life are no longer with me in body, all though it saddens me from time to time, and wish they were here. I'm confident in the fact that where ever we may meet heaven, hell, or any other after life realm. We will pick up were we left off, and the good times will come again.

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#19

08-24-2006, 07:37 AM

The worst thing for me was a had a friend die and about a year or so later I found an old answering machine and there was a message on there form him. That was freaky to hear.
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#20

08-24-2006, 07:56 AM

My best friend hanged himself on January 1st 2000 ...

He left a message on my machine the day before ... He wanted to see me ... I was in Florida for the Millenium ( Disney World... )

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But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....
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#21

08-24-2006, 08:05 AM

Originally posted by Spudstr

Lastnight at 2am my grandmother lost her battle shes been waging on herself. She was more than my mother since she left us 10+ years ago. So many stories she would tell she traveled the world since her husband that had passed 10 years ago but before he left he was a United States Army Colonel and in the service for 30 years before retiring. That lady literarly saw and lived everywhere in the world.

Lots of things to go through now in her estate, its going to be a long trip without her.

I am sorry to hear about your loss.
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Sarah_Jayne

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#22

08-24-2006, 08:06 AM

Originally posted by sperbonzo

Sarah... I can only imagine what it would be like to lose one's spouse. I don't want to even consider it.

*hugs*

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sperbonzo

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#23

08-24-2006, 08:50 AM

Originally posted by directfiesta

My best friend hanged himself on January 1st 2000 ...

He left a message on my machine the day before ... He wanted to see me ... I was in Florida for the Millenium ( Disney World... )

god............

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#24

08-24-2006, 09:07 AM

those are rough memories...

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#25

08-24-2006, 10:28 PM

yup... my dad and my younger bro...

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baddog

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#26

08-24-2006, 11:04 PM

I have had people die around me for as long as I can remember, starting off with two little brothers that died within a couple years of each other when I was like 7-10.

The guy I rode to Sturgis with had gone with me to Mexico a few years back. Of the 5 of us that went on that ride, we are the only 2 still alive. Most of my old friends have died.
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sperbonzo

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#27

08-25-2006, 06:05 AM

Originally posted by baddog

I have had people die around me for as long as I can remember, starting off with two little brothers that died within a couple years of each other when I was like 7-10.

The guy I rode to Sturgis with had gone with me to Mexico a few years back. Of the 5 of us that went on that ride, we are the only 2 still alive. Most of my old friends have died.

I know that feeling baddog. Sometimes it just seems so strange, doesn't it?

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baddog

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#28

08-25-2006, 10:59 AM

Originally posted by sperbonzo

I know that feeling baddog. Sometimes it just seems so strange, doesn't it?

My early confrontations with death have made it "not a big deal" to me. I don't fear or question it, and even look forward to seeing if I can come back and "haunt" my friends that are still here when I do leave.
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#29

08-25-2006, 12:14 PM

sometimes, whenever i think of those people who have passed away, there's always a feeling of regret...wished that i'd spend more time with them.

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#30

08-25-2006, 01:23 PM

Originally posted by sarah_webinc

yeah, my husband has been gone for coming up to two years but I am not even close to over it. I don't think I eve rwill be but you just learn to deal with the moments when the memories overtake you a bit too much. I have become the master of the two minute cry.

Ditto. And certain things crash me more than others. I spent the day with my son's best friend from boot camp who is EXACTLY like him, then watched him get married. I was fine until I got back home, then it took about 2 days to recover.
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#31

08-25-2006, 01:28 PM

yes many .
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#32

08-25-2006, 01:37 PM

one of my best friends from high school died in a car crash when he was 21, the wierd thing is that he was named after his uncle who also died in a car crash when he was 21
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