my life been to freken funny lately--long read - GoFuckYourself.com

howard · 08-22-2006, 01:46 PM

Had a few cold ones at lunch....my lifes just too fucken funny lately...so figured I kill a few minutes and say what up. so to all the peeps who know me and my life I am quite sure you will find this entertaning.

Getting married for 3rd time this saturday--wooded back yard--70 peeps--catered but I just grabed $1500 worth of booze--just couldn't be happier in life. Jills amazing. Beautiful, amazing body especially for 45--down to 104 (in prenuptial she has a weight limit of 115) and most importantly she gets me. I love her, I am in love with her and psyed for the rest of my life..and this NOW INCLUDES MY OWN LITTLE MINI FUCKEN BRADY BUNCH --we each have 2 kids--

I have made a lot of mistakes in life--I'm 43--and i even just in the past few years actually learned im finally growing up. lifes been great..

ENTER MY X WIFE.

Now her and I get along great now. thats beacuse i pay.. and even with a smile. its worth the peace especially with the kids..anyway-- at times in life I have hated her guts. to give you guys an idea what im dealing with here SHE BRIBED ME WITH MY OWN KIDS SEVERAL TIMES. once she did that she showed her true colors...but i always had a thing for her but u know u could never ponce cause that would be the begining of 1000's of I TOLD YOU SO's..

its like the devil is on 1 shoulder screaming " remember what a flthy whore she was in bed..she rub her pussy on my cock suck it put it back in side her suck it more--the best part is on the outside she used to come off as a complete PRUDE. that was the turn on..1 time im banging and I say " you filty liitle slut--oh baby--i love how you like to taste yourself"--she told me to go fuck myself and never did it again..

WOmen I just can't figure them out..

now on the other shoulder i got jill. she is so nice.. i love her...but like im hard the other day and i want a blow job--she tells me i need to romance her first---im like u got to be fucken kidding....i romance her PLENTY--now i have told her i want her to be slutier ---be whory--i mean its no big deal--ill wack --but--IM KIND OF LOST ON WHAT TO DO---i mean sometimes sex is like going to a womens store with a women....with my x i came to fast--now i come 1 out of 3 times i have sex..i mean i go for hour--i just can't shoot all the time--i have to give mr happy some rest then release the tension later..this is embarrising--once i called jill debbie in bed...

Now to reiterate--debbie is a flat out bitch who bribed me with my own children and jill is the sweetest, nicest,great looking and flat out good person..

NOW THE STORY BEGINS

WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R

debbie and jill battle. jill wants me to get some stupid fucken jewish divorce. im jewish but don't believe in god (i do believe in having a concious though) so i could give a flying fuck. but jill have given in on almost everything. YOu must admit I do have her trained.

1. she moved to me with her 2 kids 45 minutes from where she used to live (i couldn't move--too close to my kids)

2. THIS I AM MOST PROUD OF. IN MATTER A FACT EVERY MAN IN THE WORLD SHOULD RESPECT ME FOR THIS. i talked jill into giving me her old engagement ring to trade in on what i bought her (saved me 5k). what the fuck does any women need 2 fucken rings for..

3. prenuptial--if divorced she gets nothing if her kids are not done high school(almost 8 years)

so anyhole, i figure i will give in. but my x wife has to sign off. nope she won't do it. seems its demeaning to women. i don't blame her. i don't want to get the fucken thing anyway. so jill is pissed debbie said no. jill call debbie

now going into this--debbie has tried to be nice and has been but her intentions are obviously to see jill and i be misreable--break up--whatever. I know that. everyone i know knows that. no big deal we all laugh about it--except jil..

i fought 10000 times with debbie and lost all 10000. and i am the best salesman on the face of this earth bar none. so jill has no shot.. but NO. she says she can handle anyone and says she can be bitchy with anyone. so jill calls debbie to askher what problems she had with getting the jewish divorce. i am downstairs. all i know is 20 minutes later my phone rings with my x wiufe debbie telling me where my fucken cunt whore pussy cunt fiance is, she hung up on her. i go up stairs and jill starts yelling at me that debbie said this and that and how mean she was and she hung up on her. Now jill starts screaming at me--debbie is never alowed on our property again--goes on and on..

so here i am trying to keep peace with x--and dealing with jill who is acting like she is 10. she admits it everytime then does it again 48 hours later. im living a fucken 48 hour groundhog day.

last fucken week debbie comes here when jill is not here. im in the basement and did not know she was here. she was picking up my daughter. i go out side she has her feet in the pool. she says "whats up H--whats with the look--is jill coming back soon--maybe i should take my top off that would make jill crazy--or i should go up to your bedroom and get naked--jill will love that--then as she finally leaves she comes up and whispers in my ear-- cmon H lets have sex 1 more time before yopu get hitched". . anyway this shit is crazy--then when she leaves she parked in the driveway--jill yells at me for that--i mean she wentr balisted so of course we had another war ( can u imagine if i told her about what my x was saying)..BTW to really know how crazy she is---she said this stuff as my daughter who is 12 was 10 feet away. my daughter was laughing with her mom--its so ashame cause she don't understand..my son figured it all out. I don't say anything too negative and let them figure it out.

anyway there is my life this past month...married if we make it in 4 days..lol

since then i have had wars, battles and have just been crusified. im spent. i need surgery on my elbow, my knee, getting married saturday, my fiance is obbessed with my x wife--at the fucken minumum youd think i should be able to get a 3-way...

ElvisManson · 08-22-2006, 01:56 PM

dude.. You are killing me.... It sounds like your ex needs to have your wife to be go down on HER!!!

best of luck on Sat.....what's the over/under on your ex showing up at the wedding?

howard · 08-22-2006, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElvisManson

dude.. You are killing me.... It sounds like your ex needs to have your wife to be go down on HER!!!

best of luck on Sat.....what's the over/under on your ex showing up at the wedding?

the thing is 2 months she would have been invited. the truth is i have thought exactly the same thing...she only lives 6 blocks awy--my kids walk here..it would be so funny--i have multiple people taping just incase

howard · 08-22-2006, 02:16 PM

[QUOTE=ElvisManson]dude.. You are killing me.... It sounds like your ex needs to have your wife to be go down on HER!!!

actually just the opposite---its the x that likes the tuna

ElvisManson · 08-22-2006, 02:25 PM

[QUOTE=howard]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElvisManson

dude.. You are killing me.... It sounds like your ex needs to have your wife to be go down on HER!!!

actually just the opposite---its the x that likes the tuna

they all like it...just some of them aren't ready to admit it yet.

howard · 08-22-2006, 02:47 PM

[QUOTE=ElvisManson]

Quote:

Originally Posted by howard

they all like it...just some of them aren't ready to admit it yet.

not jill--i was in bed with her and another girl--trust me--not happening although the quest will never end--LOL

08-22-2006, 01:46 PM	#1
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	my life been to freken funny lately--long read Had a few cold ones at lunch....my lifes just too fucken funny lately...so figured I kill a few minutes and say what up. so to all the peeps who know me and my life I am quite sure you will find this entertaning. Getting married for 3rd time this saturday--wooded back yard--70 peeps--catered but I just grabed $1500 worth of booze--just couldn't be happier in life. Jills amazing. Beautiful, amazing body especially for 45--down to 104 (in prenuptial she has a weight limit of 115) and most importantly she gets me. I love her, I am in love with her and psyed for the rest of my life..and this NOW INCLUDES MY OWN LITTLE MINI FUCKEN BRADY BUNCH --we each have 2 kids-- I have made a lot of mistakes in life--I'm 43--and i even just in the past few years actually learned im finally growing up. lifes been great.. ENTER MY X WIFE. Now her and I get along great now. thats beacuse i pay.. and even with a smile. its worth the peace especially with the kids..anyway-- at times in life I have hated her guts. to give you guys an idea what im dealing with here SHE BRIBED ME WITH MY OWN KIDS SEVERAL TIMES. once she did that she showed her true colors...but i always had a thing for her but u know u could never ponce cause that would be the begining of 1000's of I TOLD YOU SO's.. its like the devil is on 1 shoulder screaming " remember what a flthy whore she was in bed..she rub her pussy on my cock suck it put it back in side her suck it more--the best part is on the outside she used to come off as a complete PRUDE. that was the turn on..1 time im banging and I say " you filty liitle slut--oh baby--i love how you like to taste yourself"--she told me to go fuck myself and never did it again.. WOmen I just can't figure them out.. now on the other shoulder i got jill. she is so nice.. i love her...but like im hard the other day and i want a blow job--she tells me i need to romance her first---im like u got to be fucken kidding....i romance her PLENTY--now i have told her i want her to be slutier ---be whory--i mean its no big deal--ill wack --but--IM KIND OF LOST ON WHAT TO DO---i mean sometimes sex is like going to a womens store with a women....with my x i came to fast--now i come 1 out of 3 times i have sex..i mean i go for hour--i just can't shoot all the time--i have to give mr happy some rest then release the tension later..this is embarrising--once i called jill debbie in bed... Now to reiterate--debbie is a flat out bitch who bribed me with my own children and jill is the sweetest, nicest,great looking and flat out good person.. NOW THE STORY BEGINS WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR R debbie and jill battle. jill wants me to get some stupid fucken jewish divorce. im jewish but don't believe in god (i do believe in having a concious though) so i could give a flying fuck. but jill have given in on almost everything. YOu must admit I do have her trained. 1. she moved to me with her 2 kids 45 minutes from where she used to live (i couldn't move--too close to my kids) 2. THIS I AM MOST PROUD OF. IN MATTER A FACT EVERY MAN IN THE WORLD SHOULD RESPECT ME FOR THIS. i talked jill into giving me her old engagement ring to trade in on what i bought her (saved me 5k). what the fuck does any women need 2 fucken rings for.. 3. prenuptial--if divorced she gets nothing if her kids are not done high school(almost 8 years) so anyhole, i figure i will give in. but my x wife has to sign off. nope she won't do it. seems its demeaning to women. i don't blame her. i don't want to get the fucken thing anyway. so jill is pissed debbie said no. jill call debbie now going into this--debbie has tried to be nice and has been but her intentions are obviously to see jill and i be misreable--break up--whatever. I know that. everyone i know knows that. no big deal we all laugh about it--except jil.. i fought 10000 times with debbie and lost all 10000. and i am the best salesman on the face of this earth bar none. so jill has no shot.. but NO. she says she can handle anyone and says she can be bitchy with anyone. so jill calls debbie to askher what problems she had with getting the jewish divorce. i am downstairs. all i know is 20 minutes later my phone rings with my x wiufe debbie telling me where my fucken cunt whore pussy cunt fiance is, she hung up on her. i go up stairs and jill starts yelling at me that debbie said this and that and how mean she was and she hung up on her. Now jill starts screaming at me--debbie is never alowed on our property again--goes on and on.. so here i am trying to keep peace with x--and dealing with jill who is acting like she is 10. she admits it everytime then does it again 48 hours later. im living a fucken 48 hour groundhog day. last fucken week debbie comes here when jill is not here. im in the basement and did not know she was here. she was picking up my daughter. i go out side she has her feet in the pool. she says "whats up H--whats with the look--is jill coming back soon--maybe i should take my top off that would make jill crazy--or i should go up to your bedroom and get naked--jill will love that--then as she finally leaves she comes up and whispers in my ear-- cmon H lets have sex 1 more time before yopu get hitched". . anyway this shit is crazy--then when she leaves she parked in the driveway--jill yells at me for that--i mean she wentr balisted so of course we had another war ( can u imagine if i told her about what my x was saying)..BTW to really know how crazy she is---she said this stuff as my daughter who is 12 was 10 feet away. my daughter was laughing with her mom--its so ashame cause she don't understand..my son figured it all out. I don't say anything too negative and let them figure it out. anyway there is my life this past month...married if we make it in 4 days..lol since then i have had wars, battles and have just been crusified. im spent. i need surgery on my elbow, my knee, getting married saturday, my fiance is obbessed with my x wife--at the fucken minumum youd think i should be able to get a 3-way... __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

08-22-2006, 02:16 PM	#4
howard Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: phila Posts: 1,827	[QUOTE=ElvisManson]dude.. You are killing me.... It sounds like your ex needs to have your wife to be go down on HER!!! actually just the opposite---its the x that likes the tuna __________________ perkissmedia.com [email protected] 318621803 perkymon993 Skype

08-22-2006, 01:56 PM	#2
ElvisManson Looking California Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 5,476	dude.. You are killing me.... It sounds like your ex needs to have your wife to be go down on HER!!! best of luck on Sat.....what's the over/under on your ex showing up at the wedding?