Pryda

Has anyone seen 'Hard Candy'?

I watched it yesterday and I really enjoyed it. It's about a 14 year old girl who meets a 32 year old man on the internet and suspects he's a pedophile.

Although it has its flaws, I find it one of the best movies of the year and probably the most intense one. It's amazing how this movie makes you cheer for the different parties. Also, a great performance by the two main actors: Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson.

A 8/10 in my book

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424136/

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fris

havent seen it. might go rent it sometime

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notabook

Uh, it was a piss poor stupid unrealistic movie and was about the biggest waste of two hours of your life that you?ll never get back. Seriously, spending two hours at a dentist getting your teeth drilled into the fucking gum would feel better than watching that piece of shit movie.

A little nice tidbit from the movie: Little girl tricks man photographer into thinking she?s cutting his balls out then shoves down the fake balls in a garbage disposal.

Another great tidbit: Man gets tazered by girl, turns into jello.

The best tidbit: Little petite 14 year old girl, maybe 90 pounds tops, somehow manages to hoist a 6 foot tall male weighing probably around 200 pounds if not more up to the ceiling. How? By using her biceps of steel I guess.

To top it off, the little 14 year old whore manages to get him to kill himself. This movie, I swear to god, it will make YOU want to kill yourself if you watch it. It?s a complete waste of time; seriously, go ice skating or something for two hours because THAT WOULD BE LESS GAY THAN THIS MOVIE!

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darksoul

seen it couple of months ago.
Its a must see movie.

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Pryda

Good job in spoiling the whole movie for those that haven't seen it, notabook.

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godisdead

A simple "I don't like the movie." would have been enough, notabook.
I really wanted to see that movie.

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notabook

Look dude, I swear to god (and yes we killed him) that you will want to claw out your eyeballs and shove them in your ears if you watch this movie. It's completely unrealistic and a waste of time. Somehow this 14 year old little petite girl has superhuman strength, a super intellect (she tracks down this guy thanks to her making another man before hand commit suicide) and she is evidently a fucking master cryptanalysis (she defeats this guys safe combination in like 15 minutes). If the premise of this movie is that this 14 year old chick is the reincarnation of jesus himself and is a fucking wudan warrior computer hacking psychoanalyzing BITCH, then mission accomplished. Otherwise... I SWEAR TO YOU, this movie is a complete farce and if you watch it you're submitting yourself to two hours of mind-numbing torture.

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kmanrox

i'd watch it just for the sex scenes.. is that wrong of me?

notabook

There are no sex scenes! It's a retarded unrealistic-two-hour-mind-numbingly-awful SNOREFEST!

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Pryda

notabook: Just because you hate the movie, doesn't mean you're doing the rest a favour by spoiling everything. I'm pretty sure the majority here will like/love it. Like godisdead said, a simple 'this movie sucks' or 'I didnt like this movie' would have been more than enough. Don't you understand?

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notabook

Sorry, I don't think so. When you do a review of something you should go into depth and detail and warn others of YOUR mistakes so they don't make the same ones. I could really see rottentomatoes.com take your example to heart though. "This movie sucks" or "I didn't like this movie" as one liners would really go far there...

Seriously, Hard Candy was the shittiest movie and the majority of people will not like it. Want a more relevant movie to the industry than that shitty fucking piece of shit Hard Candy? Go watch Feed. Sure, it's pretty nasty and downright shitty during times but at least that movie has some shred of dignity and believability.

Summary is below for anyone who is still considering watching Hard Candy. I warn you I?m not making any of this shit up, the movie is really THIS BAD:

The movie starts out slower than forest gump with the 14 year old slut girl entrapping the older man (I think he?s in his 30?s) to meet her at some gay ass disco-wannabe place via IM chat. They meet and talk, at this point she knows he?s a photographer. She wants to go back to his place, so they go. He offers her a drink, she says no, fixes it herself and him one also. His has a drug in it, he passes out.

Well? not too much longer after him passing out he wakes up dazed and confused as to what the fuck?s happened. Turns out 14 year old slut girl isn?t really a slut girl at all but a heroine with super powers of every sort determined to make this guy commit suicide for taking pictures of a child that he witness die. To get ?proof?, she uses her degree in cryptanalysis to crack the guys safe and finds a picture of the girl (or something, during this part of the movie I was already in a trance at its stupidity).

You think this is where the movie gets stupid but you?d be wrong? really wrong. I can?t quite remember what happens at this point, I remember he?s tied up to a chair and has a gun (he?s swirling around on this swivel chair like a maniac trying to get a shot at this 14-year old super hero). I think he gets hit on the head and then she reveals another one of her powers, super strength. She puts him up on this table and prepares to operate on him (she tells him the best way to help society is to castrate him).

During all of this whole ordeal he keeps telling her he?s not a pedophile and please not to cut out my nuts. She sets up a camera and TV system so he can watch his own castration; turns out that this is all just a ploy as she put in a tape on castration (which she filmed in her spare time I guess, man this chick has every super power in existence!) and is just mind-fucking him royally. He gets pissed when he realizes he?s still a man (hey, I?d be happy) and goes into the bathroom where he thinks she?s taking a shower.

SHE?S NOT! She?s came even more prepared and uses her lightning powers on him to knock him out (ok, so this was a stungun). Then here comes her super power wudan powers again; she somehow (again, she?s a sub 90lb chick) hoists this 200+ lb man up onto the ceiling in the kitchen where she wants him to commit suicide via hanging. He doesn?t do it, he gets the ?leg up? so to speak and tries to choke her to death with his legs.

He fails (because she?s a god or something) and it all eventually leads to a rooftop ?fight? of sorts. In a previous seen, the 14 year old bitch girl has called his ex girlfriend (I think it was his girlfriend) just so that she can watch him commit suicide. Somehow she convinces him to commit suicide and that she?ll clear up the whole incident of the whole CP thing and make everything right. He bargains, says he?ll tell her where the guy that killed the girl she?s talking about is at. She says that?s funny, he said the same thing about you (there?s her SUPER INTELLECT!). He then kills himself. THE END.

To make a long story short: 14-year old petite girl defeats 30 year old fairly tall and robust man using her array of various super powers (which ranges from cryptanalysis to vast super strength and mental manipulation) in order to ultimately get the guy to kill himself.

NOW SERIOUSLY, if you go out and watch this movie you are fucking more retarded than jesus christ for giving up your life for humanity.

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Big John

For the little it's worth the movie does not feature a paedophile. Amazing how few people know what a paedophile is despite feeling the need to use the word so often.

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notabook

Yes yes, he's a hebephile or whatever... doesn't change how shitty the movie was

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Big John

The comment was aimed purely at the thread title - the movie doesn't appeal enough for me to want to watch it and have an opinion. *shrug*

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notabook

And comment well taken! I agree that most people dump hebephiles in with pedophiles usually because both are seen as morally unfit to even be used as troughs for horse shit, which is why most civilized folk group them together in just one big category ? pedophilia. Still though, it doesn?t matter if the guy was a hebephile, a pedophile or a catholic priest (wait? I already said pedophile), nothing could have saved that movie from being the big piece of burning dog shit that it is.

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Pryda

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS
I do admit that the movie has its flaws, but with some imagination, all that happened in the movie is possible.

She did her homework very well. She must have prepared a long list of possible combinations to the safe. There are anaesthesia that when given to a victim, will make it very easy to move this person (putting them on a table or hanging them). The castration video said 'Castration Procedures - Instructional video, school of medicine'. All other things in the movie seemed plausible to me.

Here you go, I have dismissed all your arguments :p I hope you understand now that some people might actually enjoy this movie for what it is. I also hope that you somehow regret ruining this movie for the people that read your posts and that, in the future, you will place a spoiler warning above your posts when you feel the need to express your feelings about a movie that you don't like.

As for the paedophile/hebephile comment: I wonder where do you draw the line between them?

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Scootermuze

But you seemed to have watched the whole thing...

I think if it was that bad, I would have stopped watching after about the first few minutes of mind numbing and snorkfesting...

But that's just me..

Wiggles

my friend leant it to me yesterday and i fucking lost it i feel so bad.

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kane

I read a review of this movie and saw them talking about in on Ebert & Roper a while back. Not sure if I will see it or not. maybe I'll rent it.

Notabook. For your information anyone that is a good critic/reviewer of anything including books, music, movies and stuff like that does not give away every detail of the movie, book or whatever. Basically, a good critic will tell you what the movie is about in general terms and then critique the overall quality of the movie and say why they liked it or disliked it. they do not cover ever plot point in a movie because they know that not everyone has the same tastes as they do. You can easily say that you didn't like it, you thought you wasted your time and that you think it was extremely unrealistic without telling everyone exactly what happens. If a review of something tells you every detail of the plot why watch or read it?

At the least you should put in the top few sentences of your review that you are going to post plot spoilers and to read at your own risk. That way you would come off like someone with an opinion and a reason for having it. By posting the way you did you just come off like a jack ass.

Scootermuze

Nuff said..

MsWild

haven't seen it yet...I'll check it out

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stonegatherer

14 year old girls can be such bitches, that why I wait until they get their
drivers license. I know their pretty used by then, but at least they can
drive me around.

notabook

How could I do a full review of a movie if I only watched it for a few minutes? That's retarded. That's Bob Dole retarded.

As for Citizen Kane... you have your opinion and I have mine. In order to save those from watching such a shitty movie I will point out every single flaw that I can. I will not sugar coat it for anyone by not revealing its shitty plot or lack-there-of. As for putting up ?spoiler alerts?, that?s about as fucking lame as you can get. That?s Bob Dole lame.

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Scootermuze

So you're a movie critic wannabe..
Maybe you should get The Fabjob Guide to Becoming a Movie Reviewer You definitely need some polishing..

Even a Bob Dole Retard can see that..

notabook

Pffft, wannabe nothing. I review things in my own style and fashion for the benefit of all those who wish to avoid watching shitty movies. Why would I need tips so I could copy someone else's reviewing style? That's retarded. That's John Kerry retarded.

You can choose to heed my warnings or ignore them; those who fail to heed my warnings are indeed subjecting them to god awful pieces of shit that not even Jesus could ever love. Maybe Mohammed, but not Jesus. Jesus doesn't roll that way.

Oh yeah. Black Spongebob says:

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Tuga

notabook SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Great movie, and 100th thread about it.

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notabook

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Scootermuze

So you feel that your tastes and opinions speak for everyone...

There have been a number of comments expressing a like for the movie.. almost to the point of you being close to alone in your, 'review' or lame attempt at it..

Sooo... in that many disagree with you.. and your approach is immature and amateur-ish to say the least, you realllllly need to stop thinking that you're a movie critic.. reviewer... or whatever ya wish ya were..

Best not quit your day job ..

notabook

*yawns* 1854 called, it wants its quote back.

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MaddCaz

this aint on DVD is it??

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notabook

Yeah it is. It should be anyways, the movie itself only took 18 days to film if that tells you anything about its quality.

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Scootermuze

One of those old ones that obviously still applies..

Serge Litehead

seems like only natabook didn't like the movie

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notabook

I dunno, a lot of people over at IMDB seemed to dislike it as well. I just think if you want to watch a 'realistic' movie it should come off as realistic. It doesn't, and it's simply a waste of two hours of your life that you will never get back. If you want a more relevant movie to the industry, one that has at least a shred of realism to it, watch Feed.

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Serge Litehead

some people get enough of realistic pictures from the news. i for one like mind fucking and blowing movies, others like something else.
if you didn't like the movie it's fine, just don't spoil fun for anyone else who wishes to make an opition about picutre on their own - that's part of their entertainment expirience, please respect it.

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notabook

That?s the thing lass ? this movie?s premise is supposed to be realism. It?s hardly ?mind fucking? or ?blowing?, whatever the hell that means. This movie took 18 days to film and it obviously shows. While the film looks fairly nice for being shot in such a short period of time, its content suffered greatly because of the rush. The movie changed direction more than a retard behind the wheel of a car. Again, if you want a movie similar to this (as in relating to the industry) but doesn?t totally blow chunks (actually, in one scene, she does blow chunks!) then watch Feed.

If you want an easy reason to kill yourself, then feel free to watch this piece of shit movie. In fact I recommend everyone who needs a reason to kill themselves, buy this DVD right now. You won?t regret it, it?ll make your decision to slit your wrists/OD on drugs/drown yourself/shoot yourself in the head all that much easier.

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