11 "Don't-Tell-the-Husband" Secrets All Women Keep - GoFuckYourself.com

Barefootsies · 08-02-2006, 02:11 PM

We women are well aware that most of the time we're a profound mystery to men. And for the most part, we like it that way. But the thought has occurred to just about every woman: Would it really be so bad if he knew _________ about me? Wouldn't it help him understand me better? And more importantly, Wouldn't he annoy me less if he knew what I really wanted?

So for the benefit of women everywhere (and for your benefit too, guys?remember, a happy woman makes for a much happier man), we're going to let men in on a little of what really makes us tick, deep down. Read on for 11 near-universal secrets of womankind. Some may shock you, others may be things you've suspected for a long time (but never had the nerve to ask about). But know this: the woman in your life? She's hiding more secrets than these, including a few you'd never imagine. Lucky you?you get to spend a lifetime learning them all.

1. Everything we buy for ourselves?shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstore?really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did.
Just because it's a classic sitcom plot doesn't mean it isn't true. "Sometimes I'll buy an outfit and charge half of it on our credit card and pay for the other half in cash so my husband doesn't know what I'm actually spending," admits one 32-year-old, who requested anonymity to protect her sneaky secret. Yeah, we know honesty is the best policy, hiding your spending habits is bad, blah blah blah. But sometimes we just don't want the hassle of arguing over the price of the fancy shampoo. Is that so wrong? We don't think so.

2. We actually think about sex?with you!?a lot.
Sometimes we think about it all day long. It's just that by the end of the day we're too damn tired to do anything about it. Now, if you could only catch us at lunchtime?

3. We're just as nervous about commitment as you are.
True, many girls grow up dreaming of Prince Charming, the white wedding, and happily ever after. But we're human, just like you, and when it comes down to the reality of tying our life to another person's, we get scared, too. "The idea of getting married completely freaked me out at first," says my friend Lisa, 34. "I know this sounds like a guy cliché, but I saw it as giving up my independence and being tied down." The good news is, once we're hitched, we're generally pretty delighted about it. Says Lisa, "Now that I am married, having a life commitment is so comforting and wonderful. I love knowing that we are a team and that we're going to be on the same team forever."

4. We may be modern and independent, but we still want you to be "the man."
We do want you to be sensitive, caring 21st-century males, but even the most ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners woman still wants to feel taken care of by her man somehow. Whether that means you take charge in bed, know how to fix the car and kill spiders, or even just carry the big suitcase when we're on vacation?when you act all manly, even if you're 98 pounds soaking wet, it makes us feel more feminine, more safe.

"I love that my friends and family always comment on how my husband opens the door for me and does all kinds of other chivalrous things?especially when I was pregnant, when he was so protective of me and my belly," says Lorraine, 29, of New Hartford, NY. "At the end of the day, being in his strong arms is definitely a good feeling, no matter how independent I know I am."

5. Our ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed.
You know how we're always telling you things like, "No one does it like you do"? Um, yeah. Well, we may have been stretching the truth just a teensy bit. But we'll never actually tell you that a past lover was a bedroom dynamo?we're smarter than that. Just know that whatever toe-curling orgasms the other guy gave us, sex with you really is a million times better?because it's you, and you're the one we really want.

6. We're scared that we'll turn into our mothers.
We love our mothers, really. We admire them, we're grateful to them, we think they're the most amazing women on the planet. We just don't want to be them. That's why one of the worst insults you can hurl at a woman is, "You're acting just like your mother."

But here's one that's even worse: "You're acting just like my mother." It sends a horrible oedipal shiver down our spines?did he marry me because I'm like his mom? Will he start expecting me to cut the crusts off his PB&J? So please, if you value your sex life, never ever compare your wife to your mother. Out loud, anyway.

7. We want you to be jealous?but just a little bit.
We want you to notice?and care!?when the waiter flirts with us, or when other guys check us out on the street. It makes us feel that we matter to you. But please don't get all Neanderthal and possessive on us. "I'm very loyal, and if my guy can't understand that I would never do anything with anyone else, then that just makes me mad," says Paulina, 22, from Brooklyn. So, to recap: Raising your eyebrows when we introduce you to our cute coworker?good. Punching him out?very, very bad.

8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them.
Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave?

9. We tell our girlfriends more than we admit to you (but less than you fear).
Yes, we tell them about the latest marital spat, complain about our mothers-in-law, and sigh over the hobby that sucks up all your free time. But we don't tell them how big your you-know-what is or that you cried in our arms when your dad died. Some things are just too important and intimate to share. "I definitely don't tell my girlfriends details like what my husband said when he proposed, the feeling I have every time I see him look at our daughter, and the little wonderful things he does for me every day," says Lorraine. "Those are just for me."

10. We really do notice and appreciate all the chores you do.
Why don't we say so often enough? Because we can't get over all the things you don't do. My husband, for example, is incredibly diligent about keeping a 6-by-10-foot carpeted patch of our apartment vacuumed and cat hair?free, and I love that. But it kills me that it never occurs to him to dust the furniture sitting on top of that piece of carpet, or to sweep the hardwood floor adjoining it.

Blame our lack of positive feedback on that stubborn female belief that there is Only One Right Way to do any given household task?our way. It's probably the real reason why men don't shoulder a greater share of housekeeping duties; we complain about how you did it wrong, so you never want to do it again. (Sounds familiar, right?) Let's make a deal: You promise to dust the lampshade (or wipe down the kitchen counter after you wash the dishes, or take out the garbage and then put a new liner in the can) once in a while, and we promise to sing your praises. Agreed?

11. We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again.
I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it. (Why do you think we watch so many romantic comedies?) But in the end, what we get instead?you, and a lifetime of true devotion?is more than worth the price.

$5 submissions · 08-02-2006, 02:27 PM

Cool post. Makes for great blog content (with attribution, of course).

Honez · 08-02-2006, 02:50 PM

Awwwww. How true

RuthB · 08-02-2006, 02:51 PM

great post!

BluewireAngie · 08-02-2006, 03:02 PM

1. Everything we buy for ourselveshahaha8212;shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstorehahaha8212;really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did.

7. We want you to be jealoushahaha8212;but just a little bit.

SO TRUE!!!!!

*What about the "11 Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep"?

E$_manager · 08-02-2006, 03:49 PM

Starting with the first point - i when i buy a thing i tell the price higher than it is, as far i buy not expensive things and i want my husband would think that i wear expensive dress or something.

TheJimmy · 08-02-2006, 03:54 PM

...waiting for the "I'd hit it" "show me your boobs" replies...

woops already did it

btw, nice post...

Doctor Dre · 08-02-2006, 03:57 PM

Everythign is true but I don't think this was rocket science secrets...

Sarah_Jayne · 08-02-2006, 04:04 PM

largely true

RRRED · 08-02-2006, 04:11 PM

Haha someone wrote that for a guy to read. There's more than 11 I'll tell ya that right now

Big Red Machine · 08-02-2006, 04:22 PM

If women would stop nagging divorce would drop, and whats the guy vacuuming for anyway

Barefootsies · 08-02-2006, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Red Machine

If women would stop nagging divorce would drop, and whats the guy vacuuming for anyway

Sarah_Jayne · 08-02-2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Red Machine

If women would stop nagging divorce would drop, and whats the guy vacuuming for anyway

and if guys would just do it the first time there wouldn't have to be any nagging

E$_manager · 08-02-2006, 04:28 PM

8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them.
Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave?
totaly agree

Spunky · 08-02-2006, 05:06 PM

Damn she devils..every one of them

Barefootsies · 08-02-2006, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

Damn she devils..every one of them

MegaPartnerJerry · 08-02-2006, 05:08 PM

Very nice thread, very educating. Thanks a bunch for the 411!!!

GlydeGirl · 08-02-2006, 05:09 PM

Love this post! LOL

Mr. Soul · 08-02-2006, 05:19 PM

haha, I've caught my wife doing the first one at least 3-4 times. Oh, this cost $80, huh? Why does this recipt say $220???!!

Buzz · 08-02-2006, 05:31 PM

Great thread, thx

L-Pink · 08-02-2006, 05:45 PM

cunt ......

LiveDose · 08-02-2006, 05:49 PM

I thought this was going to be an x rated post. Damn.

pussyserver - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-02-2006, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barefootsies

2. We actually think about sex?with you!?a lot.
Sometimes we think about it all day long. It's just that by the end of the day we're too damn tired to do anything about it. Now, if you could only catch us at lunchtime?

.

but dont worry if you cant make it to lunch with your misses pussyserver is a prefessional lunch crowd casanova especially at lunch spots with itialian names

god I love wives

E$_manager · 08-02-2006, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Soul

haha, I've caught my wife doing the first one at least 3-4 times. Oh, this cost $80, huh? Why does this recipt say $220???!!

you are chexking your wife!?

08-02-2006, 02:11 PM	#1
Barefootsies Choice is an Illusion Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Land of Obama Posts: 42,635	11 "Don't-Tell-the-Husband" Secrets All Women Keep We women are well aware that most of the time we're a profound mystery to men. And for the most part, we like it that way. But the thought has occurred to just about every woman: Would it really be so bad if he knew _________ about me? Wouldn't it help him understand me better? And more importantly, Wouldn't he annoy me less if he knew what I really wanted? So for the benefit of women everywhere (and for your benefit too, guys?remember, a happy woman makes for a much happier man), we're going to let men in on a little of what really makes us tick, deep down. Read on for 11 near-universal secrets of womankind. Some may shock you, others may be things you've suspected for a long time (but never had the nerve to ask about). But know this: the woman in your life? She's hiding more secrets than these, including a few you'd never imagine. Lucky you?you get to spend a lifetime learning them all. 1. Everything we buy for ourselves?shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstore?really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did. Just because it's a classic sitcom plot doesn't mean it isn't true. "Sometimes I'll buy an outfit and charge half of it on our credit card and pay for the other half in cash so my husband doesn't know what I'm actually spending," admits one 32-year-old, who requested anonymity to protect her sneaky secret. Yeah, we know honesty is the best policy, hiding your spending habits is bad, blah blah blah. But sometimes we just don't want the hassle of arguing over the price of the fancy shampoo. Is that so wrong? We don't think so. 2. We actually think about sex?with you!?a lot. Sometimes we think about it all day long. It's just that by the end of the day we're too damn tired to do anything about it. Now, if you could only catch us at lunchtime? 3. We're just as nervous about commitment as you are. True, many girls grow up dreaming of Prince Charming, the white wedding, and happily ever after. But we're human, just like you, and when it comes down to the reality of tying our life to another person's, we get scared, too. "The idea of getting married completely freaked me out at first," says my friend Lisa, 34. "I know this sounds like a guy cliché, but I saw it as giving up my independence and being tied down." The good news is, once we're hitched, we're generally pretty delighted about it. Says Lisa, "Now that I am married, having a life commitment is so comforting and wonderful. I love knowing that we are a team and that we're going to be on the same team forever." 4. We may be modern and independent, but we still want you to be "the man." We do want you to be sensitive, caring 21st-century males, but even the most ass-kicking, take-no-prisoners woman still wants to feel taken care of by her man somehow. Whether that means you take charge in bed, know how to fix the car and kill spiders, or even just carry the big suitcase when we're on vacation?when you act all manly, even if you're 98 pounds soaking wet, it makes us feel more feminine, more safe. "I love that my friends and family always comment on how my husband opens the door for me and does all kinds of other chivalrous things?especially when I was pregnant, when he was so protective of me and my belly," says Lorraine, 29, of New Hartford, NY. "At the end of the day, being in his strong arms is definitely a good feeling, no matter how independent I know I am." 5. Our ex-boyfriends were not completely terrible in bed. You know how we're always telling you things like, "No one does it like you do"? Um, yeah. Well, we may have been stretching the truth just a teensy bit. But we'll never actually tell you that a past lover was a bedroom dynamo?we're smarter than that. Just know that whatever toe-curling orgasms the other guy gave us, sex with you really is a million times better?because it's you, and you're the one we really want. 6. We're scared that we'll turn into our mothers. We love our mothers, really. We admire them, we're grateful to them, we think they're the most amazing women on the planet. We just don't want to be them. That's why one of the worst insults you can hurl at a woman is, "You're acting just like your mother." But here's one that's even worse: "You're acting just like my mother." It sends a horrible oedipal shiver down our spines?did he marry me because I'm like his mom? Will he start expecting me to cut the crusts off his PB&J? So please, if you value your sex life, never ever compare your wife to your mother. Out loud, anyway. 7. We want you to be jealous?but just a little bit. We want you to notice?and care!?when the waiter flirts with us, or when other guys check us out on the street. It makes us feel that we matter to you. But please don't get all Neanderthal and possessive on us. "I'm very loyal, and if my guy can't understand that I would never do anything with anyone else, then that just makes me mad," says Paulina, 22, from Brooklyn. So, to recap: Raising your eyebrows when we introduce you to our cute coworker?good. Punching him out?very, very bad. 8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them. Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave? 9. We tell our girlfriends more than we admit to you (but less than you fear). Yes, we tell them about the latest marital spat, complain about our mothers-in-law, and sigh over the hobby that sucks up all your free time. But we don't tell them how big your you-know-what is or that you cried in our arms when your dad died. Some things are just too important and intimate to share. "I definitely don't tell my girlfriends details like what my husband said when he proposed, the feeling I have every time I see him look at our daughter, and the little wonderful things he does for me every day," says Lorraine. "Those are just for me." 10. We really do notice and appreciate all the chores you do. Why don't we say so often enough? Because we can't get over all the things you don't do. My husband, for example, is incredibly diligent about keeping a 6-by-10-foot carpeted patch of our apartment vacuumed and cat hair?free, and I love that. But it kills me that it never occurs to him to dust the furniture sitting on top of that piece of carpet, or to sweep the hardwood floor adjoining it. Blame our lack of positive feedback on that stubborn female belief that there is Only One Right Way to do any given household task?our way. It's probably the real reason why men don't shoulder a greater share of housekeeping duties; we complain about how you did it wrong, so you never want to do it again. (Sounds familiar, right?) Let's make a deal: You promise to dust the lampshade (or wipe down the kitchen counter after you wash the dishes, or take out the garbage and then put a new liner in the can) once in a while, and we promise to sing your praises. Agreed? 11. We love you with all our hearts, but we still get wistful about the fact that we'll never feel that falling-in-love sizzle and spark again. I'll just come right out and say it: Most women are love addicts. And while we appreciate the depth and richness of long-time love, there is simply nothing like the giddy, fluttery, crazy feeling we get (or rather, used to get) with a brand-new guy. We know we'll never feel that high again, and there's a little part of us that will always miss it. (Why do you think we watch so many romantic comedies?) But in the end, what we get instead?you, and a lifetime of true devotion?is more than worth the price. __________________ Should You Email Your Members? Link1 \| Link2 \| Link3 Enough Said. "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

08-02-2006, 02:27 PM	#2
$5 submissions I help you SUCCEED Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Pearl of the Orient Seas Posts: 32,195	Cool post. Makes for great blog content (with attribution, of course). __________________ Need a NON-ADULT income stream? We build your YOUTUBE CHANNEL for only $20 per video! For Hire: $3/hour or $400 per month Marketing Specialist Virtual Assistants

08-02-2006, 02:50 PM	#3
Honez Confirmed Brat Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 6,636	Awwwww. How true __________________ Your Paysite Partner Hone at YourPaysitePartner dot Com Skype - Stressmonkey

08-02-2006, 02:51 PM	#4
RuthB Let's Get Paxumized! Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,247	great post! __________________ Send & Receive Mass Global Payments - Mass P2P/Wire/EFT/SEPA - Adult Industry Friendly - Award Winning Payment Service - Fast, Reliable & Secure! Paxum ...... Paxum Bank Email: [email protected] ~ Telegram: PaxumRuth

08-02-2006, 03:02 PM	#5
BluewireAngie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Makati Posts: 4,643	1. Everything we buy for ourselveshahaha8212;shoes, a skirt, even just stuff from the drugstorehahaha8212;really costs 20 percent more than we tell you it did. 7. We want you to be jealoushahaha8212;but just a little bit. SO TRUE!!!!! What about the "11 Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep"? __________________ Web Design & Programming* - Creative Mainstream Style Web Design and Programming PORTFOLIO Custom Cartoons - High Quality Cartoon Studio PORTFOLIO Offshore Staff - Save Money & Grow Faster With Dedicated Offshore Staff PRICING ICQ:282-072-512

08-02-2006, 03:49 PM	#6
E$_manager Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: pink adult dreams Posts: 13,557	Starting with the first point - i when i buy a thing i tell the price higher than it is, as far i buy not expensive things and i want my husband would think that i wear expensive dress or something. __________________ Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks! Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D

08-02-2006, 03:54 PM	#7
TheJimmy ICQ- five seven 0 2 5 5 0 Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 10,747	...waiting for the "I'd hit it" "show me your boobs" replies... woops already did it btw, nice post... __________________ Investor with 5m - 15m USD to invest. Do you have a site or network of sites earning 50k - 200k a month income? Email your contact and preliminary data to: domain.cashventures (at) gmail.com....Please...no tire kickers...serious offers and inquiries only.

08-02-2006, 04:04 PM	#9
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	largely true

08-02-2006, 04:11 PM	#10
RRRED Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: WA Posts: 6,754	Haha someone wrote that for a guy to read. There's more than 11 I'll tell ya that right now

08-02-2006, 04:22 PM	#11
Big Red Machine Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: XXXBigRed@Twitter Posts: 9,586	If women would stop nagging divorce would drop, and whats the guy vacuuming for anyway __________________ ICQ:475437214

08-02-2006, 04:28 PM	#14
E$_manager Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: pink adult dreams Posts: 13,557	8. Yes, we fantasize about hot celebrity guys, but that doesn't mean we want you to be them. Christian Bale is sexy and all, but can you imagine having to clean that Batcave? totaly agree __________________ Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks! Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D

08-02-2006, 05:06 PM	#15
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	Damn she devils..every one of them __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

08-02-2006, 05:08 PM	#17
MegaPartnerJerry Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 518	Very nice thread, very educating. Thanks a bunch for the 411!!! __________________ ICQ # 337-531-162 $$$ MegaPartner.Com Don't Waste Your Traffic, make MEGA $$$, Fresh New Sites & TONS of Promo Tools!!!

08-02-2006, 05:09 PM	#18
GlydeGirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,516	Love this post! LOL

08-02-2006, 05:19 PM	#19
Mr. Soul Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Manhattan Posts: 1,633	haha, I've caught my wife doing the first one at least 3-4 times. Oh, this cost $80, huh? Why does this recipt say $220???!!

08-02-2006, 05:31 PM	#20
Buzz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,908	Great thread, thx

08-02-2006, 05:45 PM	#21
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	cunt ......

08-02-2006, 05:49 PM	#22
LiveDose Show Yer Tits! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Somewhere Out there... Posts: 25,792	I thought this was going to be an x rated post. Damn. __________________ Scammer Alert: acer19 acer [email protected] [email protected] Money stolen using PayPal