My story. - GoFuckYourself.com

MetaformX · 07-15-2006, 06:55 PM

It was 2001 when I got into adult. Back then, my major ambition in life was to be wealthy. I guess that?s what happens when you grow up not having much.

I joined GFY when GFY was still trying to make a name for itself. It was the early days, when Lensman was yet to be a legend, Boneprone ran the show, and AMP was a bad boy in training. And I got hooked.

In 2002, I decided the only way to achieve wealth was to create my own affiliate program. I had $400 to my name, a 1999 Dell computer, and a copy of photoshop. That would have to cut it. With no money to pay anyone to do any of the work, I had to teach myself everything. I had to design, code, create, market, and then run this affiliate program.

For 3 years, I embarked on a journey to create what I believed would be the most perfect affiliate program on earth. I now see the flaw in my thinking. To a perfectionist, nothing could ever be perfect.

I would do work on the side to come up with just enough money to pay my bills, and then would go back to working on StudioCash. I am, and have always been, StudioCash's only employee. 3 Years is an eternity on the internet, but having to learn about and creating every piece of a company by yourself without any resources took up all of it.

I never wanted to give off the impression that I was just some kid with a dream, starting off with zero. I had always thought people would respect me more as a businessman if they thought I already had a successful operation and some money.

So, I put out the image of just that. I gave myself a ?CEO? title and an email address to match. I wanted every detail about StudioCash to be top notch. I guess my thinking could best be described by a line in ?American Beauty???You must exude an image of success at all times?. And so I did.

I don?t know why I didn?t see it back then. The way I had done it, starting from nothing and then creating this company by myself was admirable in itself and something to be proud of. But for some reason, I kept it a secret.

When the program was ready for launch, I had no money for marketing. In my mind, I had no choice but to create my own marketing. I could not let all my hard work go unnoticed.

I believed in every fiber of my being that StudioCash was going to be one of a kind, and in my misguided mind, I did not see anything wrong in this way of getting my message out. I justified it to myself somehow. The backlash from this is what made me question what I was doing with my life. I had a dream when I was a kid. Somehow I had let go of that dream. The time had come for me to pursue it again.

StudioCash is something I will always be proud of, even thought I never got to see it fully launch. But I know in my heart it was meant to happen that way. It is not the destination that matters. It is the trip.

I know I could still achieve my goals of wealth and money if I stayed in this industry. But my goals have now changed. I do not desire riches anymore. I just want to live my dream, even if I do it while living modestly.

I never thought one day I would come here and tell my life story as it really happened. But life has a funny way of changing. It is only appropriate that I did it on GFY, the place where it all started. Looking back now, I would not change a single experience in my life, good or bad, for anything. These experiences have brought me to this point in my life, and gave me a reason to chase my dreams.

For those experiencing the rough waters of life, just know that no matter how tough it may seem right now, things will be okay. Obstacles are there to make you stronger. Just believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never quit.

Ice · 07-15-2006, 06:57 PM

Awesome story man and this part is so true...

"Obstacles are there to make you stronger. Just believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never quit."

sonofsam · 07-15-2006, 06:58 PM

dude, that took a lot of balls to post...

props to you

blazi · 07-15-2006, 07:01 PM

finally a thread on GFY worth reading!! great story MetaFormX, and yes I read the whole thing, I have much respect for you after reading that, truly inspirational thread. Thanks for sharing!!

Chaldoray · 07-15-2006, 07:06 PM

Great reading, very true!

quiet · 07-15-2006, 07:27 PM

xclusive · 07-15-2006, 07:31 PM

I wish you luck in getting to the top of whatever you decide to do.

sam from montreal · 07-15-2006, 07:32 PM

very impressive man I read it all and its worth it a lot

Thanks for the sharing dude.

respect

Sam

scottybuzz · 07-15-2006, 07:34 PM

only the internet could make such a long and great story happen in a space of 4 years.

Bake · 07-15-2006, 07:40 PM

Nice post

Doctor Dre · 07-15-2006, 07:42 PM

Woah ... So that designer never existed ?

Good luck in your future projects ... it must have taken some balls to come through like this.

Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE · 07-15-2006, 07:45 PM

Is StudioCash still for sale?

Did you decide to keep it and make it rock?

If number two is the case ICQ me!

Diligent · 07-15-2006, 07:47 PM

Great of You to share this, quite inspiring.

And I definitely agree, it's more the journey itself than the actual goal that keeps You going...
Very glad to hear Your happy with another direction as well

By the way, for a "one man show" - You did great! Lots of hard work there.
You must know with Yourself now, that basically whatever You set Your mind on... is within reach.

clicker · 07-15-2006, 08:43 PM

Acting as if you allready made it is good for motivating yourself if you can ultimatley pull it off. However, if you dont, realize you will eat alot of crow and its hard to earn the trust back of all the people who believed in you. Most people do not understand or have the ball to try to make things happen. After starting several business from scratch it made me realize its smarter to take the humble road and if you think your the big dog remember there is allways someone bigger.

Not "you" but in general. Not sure of the ending of the story but good post.

AaronM · 07-15-2006, 08:49 PM

Nice thread.

Wanna rub lotion on my back for me?

Where's that pic of Sleazy throwing you off the cruise ship?

Good times man, good times.

Tempest · 07-15-2006, 09:18 PM

hmmm.. Didn't he already post his life story here over a year ago???

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=467606

he-fox · 07-15-2006, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tempest

hmmm.. Didn't he already post his life story here over a year ago???

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=467606

Looks like this is Life Story Reloaded.

ProducerCashDave · 07-15-2006, 09:26 PM

Great inspiring story

Kaylum · 07-15-2006, 09:48 PM

very cool read.. thanks for sharing!

stay blessed, and keep on moving forward in all that you do.

peace Kaylum

xxxdesign-net · 07-15-2006, 10:06 PM

Your problem was the bullshit and the lies.. everyone was noticing... and you didnt realise that... You *seem* to be getting it now...

minusonebit · 07-15-2006, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quiet

Thats a nice siggy, quiet. Way to make friends with locals. LOL

Vitasoy · 07-15-2006, 10:41 PM

Wish you all the best man

gandalfuy · 07-15-2006, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by he-fox

Looks like this is Life Story Reloaded.

this dude loves to write.

nice story though!

MetaformX · 07-16-2006, 08:47 AM

Thank you so much for all the comments. A few of them really touched me.

CamsLord · 07-16-2006, 08:52 AM

great post! hardwork pays off

Hooligan · 07-16-2006, 08:58 AM

gay.

Hooligan · 07-16-2006, 09:00 AM

I don't get it. What was the point of the post?

Are you rich now? Or are you still broke?

candyflip · 07-16-2006, 09:02 AM

Do you still consider yourself in the adult design top 5 or was that a lie too?

fantabulous · 07-16-2006, 09:02 AM

you can write a novel )))))))))))

polish_aristocrat · 07-16-2006, 09:05 AM

totally unexpected post....

Kimo · 07-16-2006, 09:23 AM

i loved the story

very inspiring.... but your leaving the industry!? why!

Magix · 07-16-2006, 09:34 AM

good story, i don't always read long text on gfy, but this one is good.
respect

MyNameIsNobody · 07-16-2006, 11:06 AM

I feel kinda spoiled.. ^^

StuartD · 07-16-2006, 12:26 PM

Good time to make this post, what with Franck being banned and all. I bet he's just dying to jump in here on the attack.

sharp · 07-16-2006, 12:37 PM

RayBonga · 07-16-2006, 12:49 PM

Great advice man, thanks for sharing

tenderobject · 07-16-2006, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StuartD

Good time to make this post, what with Franck being banned and all. I bet he's just dying to jump in here on the attack.

lol having a thought of this as well. lol

so your designer was only you? one of the top 5 designers of this industry?

well, goodluck and welcome back.

crockett · 07-16-2006, 01:15 PM

I don't know why you don't want to continue with your program. Seems like you have taken a step back and see what you did wrong. You seem to have come clean and I'm sure most people can give you respect for that.

So why not just stick it out and see where it goes? Who gives a shit if you take some crap from a few trolls here at least you have done something that they probably couldn't.

CaptainWolfy · 07-16-2006, 01:21 PM

nice post you have there...

CyberClicks · 07-16-2006, 01:25 PM

Good reading, you should come out with a CD.

ServerGenius · 07-16-2006, 01:37 PM

Dude I remember years ago that we had a short pissing match and met at Internext in Hollywood FL or the Vegas one I don't remember . My nick then was DynaSpain......good times. I wish
you all the best and if you ever need anything hit me up.....also if you don't
need anything but just want to catch up some old memories.....

ServerGenius aka DynaSpain

reynold · 07-16-2006, 08:09 PM

You impressed me, ma. I wish you the best.

E$_manager · 07-16-2006, 10:27 PM

what made you decide to write your story?

E$_manager · 07-16-2006, 10:30 PM

is it some lesson for others?

Drake · 07-16-2006, 10:31 PM

Interesting post

Sly · 07-16-2006, 10:53 PM

I'm confused. What part of this is inspiring?

This guy lied to not only himself but also others. He created fake people to operate his company. It didn't work. He quit.

He lied. And he quit. Why are you inspired? Because he "had the balls" to admit where he fucked up or because he's stating the old cliche "the journey is the real trip"?

Its nice that you realized where you failed. Its nice that you're telling the people that you lied to that you actually lied to them. And I'm sure you're doing fine now, but this is far from an inspirational story unless you're trying to inspire people to depend on deceit for "success".

detoxed · 07-16-2006, 10:56 PM

The info I was about to make the mistake of sharing is not worthy of everyones ears.

CaptainHowdy · 07-17-2006, 01:06 AM

Bump for big balls

!

flashfreak · 07-17-2006, 01:17 AM

Thanks for sharing this, very inspiring!

Just Jace · 07-17-2006, 01:53 AM

I agree with Sly...why are people congratulating this dude for lying to everyone and fessing up? he lied and continued to lie for months at a time, and never would be honest at all

now he comes back and admits to it later and we are expected to forgive him

whatever

07-15-2006, 06:55 PM	#1
MetaformX Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,704	My story. It was 2001 when I got into adult. Back then, my major ambition in life was to be wealthy. I guess that?s what happens when you grow up not having much. I joined GFY when GFY was still trying to make a name for itself. It was the early days, when Lensman was yet to be a legend, Boneprone ran the show, and AMP was a bad boy in training. And I got hooked. In 2002, I decided the only way to achieve wealth was to create my own affiliate program. I had $400 to my name, a 1999 Dell computer, and a copy of photoshop. That would have to cut it. With no money to pay anyone to do any of the work, I had to teach myself everything. I had to design, code, create, market, and then run this affiliate program. For 3 years, I embarked on a journey to create what I believed would be the most perfect affiliate program on earth. I now see the flaw in my thinking. To a perfectionist, nothing could ever be perfect. I would do work on the side to come up with just enough money to pay my bills, and then would go back to working on StudioCash. I am, and have always been, StudioCash's only employee. 3 Years is an eternity on the internet, but having to learn about and creating every piece of a company by yourself without any resources took up all of it. I never wanted to give off the impression that I was just some kid with a dream, starting off with zero. I had always thought people would respect me more as a businessman if they thought I already had a successful operation and some money. So, I put out the image of just that. I gave myself a ?CEO? title and an email address to match. I wanted every detail about StudioCash to be top notch. I guess my thinking could best be described by a line in ?American Beauty???You must exude an image of success at all times?. And so I did. I don?t know why I didn?t see it back then. The way I had done it, starting from nothing and then creating this company by myself was admirable in itself and something to be proud of. But for some reason, I kept it a secret. When the program was ready for launch, I had no money for marketing. In my mind, I had no choice but to create my own marketing. I could not let all my hard work go unnoticed. I believed in every fiber of my being that StudioCash was going to be one of a kind, and in my misguided mind, I did not see anything wrong in this way of getting my message out. I justified it to myself somehow. The backlash from this is what made me question what I was doing with my life. I had a dream when I was a kid. Somehow I had let go of that dream. The time had come for me to pursue it again. StudioCash is something I will always be proud of, even thought I never got to see it fully launch. But I know in my heart it was meant to happen that way. It is not the destination that matters. It is the trip. I know I could still achieve my goals of wealth and money if I stayed in this industry. But my goals have now changed. I do not desire riches anymore. I just want to live my dream, even if I do it while living modestly. I never thought one day I would come here and tell my life story as it really happened. But life has a funny way of changing. It is only appropriate that I did it on GFY, the place where it all started. Looking back now, I would not change a single experience in my life, good or bad, for anything. These experiences have brought me to this point in my life, and gave me a reason to chase my dreams. For those experiencing the rough waters of life, just know that no matter how tough it may seem right now, things will be okay. Obstacles are there to make you stronger. Just believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never quit. Last edited by MetaformX; 07-15-2006 at 06:58 PM..

07-15-2006, 06:57 PM	#2
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	Awesome story man and this part is so true... "Obstacles are there to make you stronger. Just believe in yourself, follow your dreams, and never quit." __________________ icq 1904905

07-15-2006, 06:58 PM	#3
sonofsam Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 18,638	dude, that took a lot of balls to post... props to you __________________ I like turtles.

07-15-2006, 07:01 PM	#4
blazi Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Closer now Posts: 4,321	finally a thread on GFY worth reading!! great story MetaFormX, and yes I read the whole thing, I have much respect for you after reading that, truly inspirational thread. Thanks for sharing!! __________________ makingcoin.com - 100% payouts coinscuties.com

07-15-2006, 07:27 PM	#6
quiet we'll miss you our friend. RIP Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Fernie, BC Posts: 25,115	__________________ we'll miss you our friend. RIP

07-15-2006, 07:06 PM	#5
Chaldoray Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 2,868	Great reading, very true!

07-15-2006, 07:31 PM	#7
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	I wish you luck in getting to the top of whatever you decide to do. __________________ I support MediumPimpin.com / Shemp's Outlawtgp.com /

07-15-2006, 07:32 PM	#8
sam from montreal Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: QC Posts: 296	very impressive man I read it all and its worth it a lot Thanks for the sharing dude. respect Sam __________________ SEO r0ck st@r Giving tips 107776092 [email protected]

07-15-2006, 07:34 PM	#9
scottybuzz Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Location: NY Posts: 14,800	only the internet could make such a long and great story happen in a space of 4 years. __________________ $$$$$ MAKE HUGE MONEY IN CAMS - CLICK HERE $$$$$

07-15-2006, 07:40 PM	#10
Bake Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Outback of bumfuck Aussie Posts: 5,412	Nice post __________________ Buy great domains from drunken burned out old webmaster CHEAP bullseyeporn.com art-met.com and more. Learn how to make a easy extra $500 per week

07-15-2006, 07:45 PM	#12
Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE North Coast Pimp Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: 304-534-757 Posts: 9,395	Is StudioCash still for sale? Did you decide to keep it and make it rock? If number two is the case ICQ me!

07-15-2006, 07:47 PM	#13
Diligent Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Hoy Suecia, mañana Nirvana Posts: 1,594	Great of You to share this, quite inspiring. And I definitely agree, it's more the journey itself than the actual goal that keeps You going... Very glad to hear Your happy with another direction as well By the way, for a "one man show" - You did great! Lots of hard work there. You must know with Yourself now, that basically whatever You set Your mind on... is within reach. __________________ ~¤~ MORE MONEY ~¤~ VOD? XoD! ~¤~ ~¤~ ICQ# 9828 2461 ~¤~

07-15-2006, 08:43 PM	#14
clicker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Virtual Posts: 1,113	Acting as if you allready made it is good for motivating yourself if you can ultimatley pull it off. However, if you dont, realize you will eat alot of crow and its hard to earn the trust back of all the people who believed in you. Most people do not understand or have the ball to try to make things happen. After starting several business from scratch it made me realize its smarter to take the humble road and if you think your the big dog remember there is allways someone bigger. Not "you" but in general. Not sure of the ending of the story but good post. Last edited by clicker; 07-15-2006 at 08:45 PM..

07-15-2006, 08:49 PM	#15
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	Nice thread. Wanna rub lotion on my back for me? Where's that pic of Sleazy throwing you off the cruise ship? Good times man, good times.

07-15-2006, 09:18 PM	#16
Tempest Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: West Coast, Canada. Posts: 10,217	hmmm.. Didn't he already post his life story here over a year ago??? http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=467606

07-15-2006, 09:26 PM	#18
ProducerCashDave Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In Your Brain Posts: 3,983	Great inspiring story __________________ 15 Exclusive Sites By Top Brand Name Studios! $25 PPS \| 50% Revshare \| 5% Webmaster Referral David K. \| Account Manager \| www.ProducerCash.com ICQ: 480757149 \| david AT producercash DOT com TOLL FREE: 877-549-1112

07-15-2006, 09:48 PM	#19
Kaylum Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Costa Rica Posts: 465	very cool read.. thanks for sharing! stay blessed, and keep on moving forward in all that you do. peace Kaylum __________________ -- "You can't stop ingenuity, trust me.."

07-15-2006, 10:06 PM	#20
xxxdesign-net My hips don't lie Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 10,129	Your problem was the bullshit and the lies.. everyone was noticing... and you didnt realise that... You seem to be getting it now...

07-15-2006, 10:41 PM	#22
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	Wish you all the best man __________________ [email protected]

07-16-2006, 08:47 AM	#24
MetaformX Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 6,704	Thank you so much for all the comments. A few of them really touched me.

07-16-2006, 08:52 AM	#25
CamsLord Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,663	great post! hardwork pays off __________________ sig for sale - pornpicz(at)gmail.com

07-16-2006, 08:58 AM	#26
Hooligan So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,472	gay.

07-16-2006, 09:00 AM	#27
Hooligan So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,472	I don't get it. What was the point of the post? Are you rich now? Or are you still broke?

07-16-2006, 09:02 AM	#28
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,064	Do you still consider yourself in the adult design top 5 or was that a lie too? __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

07-16-2006, 09:02 AM	#29
fantabulous Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere Posts: 485	you can write a novel )))))))))))

07-16-2006, 09:05 AM	#30
polish_aristocrat Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 40,377	totally unexpected post.... __________________ I don't use ICQ anymore.

07-16-2006, 09:23 AM	#31
Kimo ... Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Maryland ICQ:87038677 Posts: 11,542	i loved the story very inspiring.... but your leaving the industry!? why! __________________ ...

07-16-2006, 09:34 AM	#32
Magix Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: ICQ: 263238646 Posts: 2,616	good story, i don't always read long text on gfy, but this one is good. respect __________________ PSD to HTML/XHTML/CSS Services

07-16-2006, 11:06 AM	#33
MyNameIsNobody Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Swedän Posts: 2,947	I feel kinda spoiled.. ^^

07-16-2006, 12:26 PM	#34
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	Good time to make this post, what with Franck being banned and all. I bet he's just dying to jump in here on the attack.

07-16-2006, 12:37 PM	#35
sharp Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 7,006

07-16-2006, 12:49 PM	#36
RayBonga too cool for highschool Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: East side, West side, Worldwide! Posts: 12,164	Great advice man, thanks for sharing

07-16-2006, 01:15 PM	#38
crockett in a van by the river Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 76,806	I don't know why you don't want to continue with your program. Seems like you have taken a step back and see what you did wrong. You seem to have come clean and I'm sure most people can give you respect for that. So why not just stick it out and see where it goes? Who gives a shit if you take some crap from a few trolls here at least you have done something that they probably couldn't. __________________ In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator.

07-16-2006, 01:21 PM	#39
CaptainWolfy Playa Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere on the Earth Posts: 8,439	nice post you have there...

07-16-2006, 01:25 PM	#40
CyberClicks Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 77	Good reading, you should come out with a CD.