| Greg B |
07-04-2006 02:20 AM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by notabook
So this week has been stupidly crazy for me, from working like a mule (not a sexy mule mind you) all week to the peak of me nearly getting my foot cut off from my new lawn mower (look, they expect you to read a manual to properly operate the machine, manuals are miniature books!), it's just been a overly crappy time. Well I finally got to go see Superman Returns with a friend and we got into a highly gay debate about Superman's... sperm. Keep in mind that everything below would fall into the SPOILER category, so if you haven?t seen Superman Returns, just don't read any further. Unless you like sperm. Then you can keep reading.
Being an avid superman comic book fan for the majority of my life, I was quite perplexed by Superman having a child with Lois Lane. It wasn't a problem at first as from Superman II we all know that Superman was temporarily powerless and banged Lois like a set of expensive drums, but regardless throughout the movie (Superman Returns) we are questioning whether or not the kid is Supe's or not. Well in Superman Returns, towards the 2.5ish hour mark we actually find out that the kid is his because the kid goes apeshit and murders a guy (now that's going to fuck up his psychology) by throwing a piano at the dude... so now we are 100% certain the kid is his.
Ok, so this is where the debate began. Since there are only three really established ways to kill Superman, those being Kryptonite, Magic, and Gargantuan amounts of pure physical strength (ala Doomsday), we can assume then that all of Superman's cells are near about completely immortal. So Superman bangs Lois, shoots her full of billions of sperm (hell, this is superman bitch, TRILLIONS of sperm). Since then all of his cells are immortal, wouldn't this make it so that his sperm would forever be inside of her, continuously impregnating her again and again and again after each pregnancy? So shouldn?t she have five super brats hanging around?
Well... this debate probably would have continued but it was turning super gay. I never got into my final closing arguments about whether or not super abortions could have been used to terminate her future pregnancies by using kryptonite laced cannula or nice pair of kryptonite forceps. Oh well, maybe during the next Superman movie they will get into the many super abortions she had to endure to get rid of all those half kryptonian freaks.
|
Move outta da' way! Spread out! Let a genius in here!
Being as I worked for DC Comics and we asked this question let me give you the rundown.
NO. If Superman let loose a sperm cell it would destroy the world. It almost happened in an issue of Superman where while he was subjected to a short burst of kryptonite he cut his finger and a white blood cell got loose and started absorbing people like the Blob. So, if he let loose a sperm cell or billions of them Lois would be dead.
However, Superman is an alien. He may not expell billions of sperm like we do and instead just one mighty Kryptonian nut. Yet according to the laws of DC Comics that would have killed a mortal woman.
The only way for Lois and Superman to conceive a child safely was to have used any number of his Kryptonian devices in his Fortress of Solitude to make him mortal long enough for gestation to occur. Originally Superman didn't have his super powers until he started growing up. It's not like in Superman I he arrived on Earth and could pick up trucks.
Anothr explanation is that Kryptonians don't breed like we do and use another means. That one I wouldn't want to draw.
It's alluded to in most Superman stories that we humans are the descendents of Kryptonians. That's why when Jor El told the counsel that they should escape Krypton by using spaceships he was forbidden. It was because in their past the Kryptonians had gone to Earth and other worlds acting like Gods and fucking things up. So in essence we're Kryptonians so the genetic bases are still there.
Anyway, Supes could have pulled off the pregnant thing. Or......in the movie Luthor puts a combined Kryptonian crystal near the kid. It may have given him temporary super powers. Some Kryptonite can do that. It may only work on kids.
When it comes to comics, there's always a logical explanation to illogical events. |
