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Old 06-24-2006, 02:06 PM   #1
SilentKnight
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I finally lied about it last night...

The question is often asked here on the forum, "What do you tell people you do for a living?"

And I've always said that I have no qualms about telling people flat out that I'm an adult photographer. I don't hide what I do from friends and family, I've always been totally up front about it.

But last night I encountered a situation that swayed me from that...for the first time.

Our youngest daughter had a girlfriend spend the night at the house. Her father gave her a drive to our door, and came up to introduce himself (which I thought was a cool responsible thing for him to do). We did some chit-chatting at the door, and after a few minutes handed me his business card, explaining it had his cell number on it in case he had to be reached. I was also cool with that. Glancing at the card, I noticed he was a car salesman - and casually mentioned it. We got to talking about cars a little, and then he asks me what I do for a living.

I was about to answer - but suddenly caught myself, realizing this probably wasn't the best time and place to be truthful...all things considered. So I simply told him I was a photographer and graphic artist. Its the first time in over a decade I've found myself having to use a little discretion. Thankfully he didn't ask any further questions.

Left me with food for thought today, though.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:11 PM   #2
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I have had that quandary when I was with my ex-girlfriend and young Maddy (6 and 7 and that time).

I made a point of personally visiting the parents of her friends before they even came over to our house to play and explaining in detail (well, you get what I mean) what I did and why they did not need to worry.

I also did the school principal thing.

On 2 occasions the parents of her friends were quite shicked, and may I say disgusted, but to their credit they were thankful I was upfront and did not get all freaky about it.

Advance warning if you want my advice, I understand your dilemna.

2c
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:15 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentKnight
The question is often asked here on the forum, "What do you tell people you do for a living?"

And I've always said that I have no qualms about telling people flat out that I'm an adult photographer. I don't hide what I do from friends and family, I've always been totally up front about it.

But last night I encountered a situation that swayed me from that...for the first time.

Our youngest daughter had a girlfriend spend the night at the house. Her father gave her a drive to our door, and came up to introduce himself (which I thought was a cool responsible thing for him to do). We did some chit-chatting at the door, and after a few minutes handed me his business card, explaining it had his cell number on it in case he had to be reached. I was also cool with that. Glancing at the card, I noticed he was a car salesman - and casually mentioned it. We got to talking about cars a little, and then he asks me what I do for a living.

I was about to answer - but suddenly caught myself, realizing this probably wasn't the best time and place to be truthful...all things considered. So I simply told him I was a photographer and graphic artist. Its the first time in over a decade I've found myself having to use a little discretion. Thankfully he didn't ask any further questions.

Left me with food for thought today, though.
Smart, responsible move- for your daughter's sake...

Besides, you are a photographer and a graphic artist...

Leaving out details is a little different than blatent lying...
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:15 PM   #4
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I just say i work online and if it goes further than that i say search engine stuff

the end.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:16 PM   #5
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I say: Work online or Affiliate Marketing... then people always reply... "work online? doing what porn? haha"

if they only knew.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:19 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CuriousToyBoy
I have had that quandary when I was with my ex-girlfriend and young Maddy (6 and 7 and that time).

I made a point of personally visiting the parents of her friends before they even came over to our house to play and explaining in detail (well, you get what I mean) what I did and why they did not need to worry.

I also did the school principal thing.

On 2 occasions the parents of her friends were quite shicked, and may I say disgusted, but to their credit they were thankful I was upfront and did not get all freaky about it.

Advance warning if you want my advice, I understand your dilemna.

2c
Appreciate your candor.

One aspect that played on my mind was that the girl was Catholic (we switched our daughter from the public school system to the separate Catholic school a few years back for various educational issues). And I figured being from a Catholic background it would be even less prudent to go with the truth at the time.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:25 PM   #7
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LOL! I used to say I work online, I now script comic books, so I don't even mention the online part of my work anymore!
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:25 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by SilentKnight
Appreciate your candor.

One aspect that played on my mind was that the girl was Catholic (we switched our daughter from the public school system to the separate Catholic school a few years back for various educational issues). And I figured being from a Catholic background it would be even less prudent to go with the truth at the time.
hahaha this reply made me smile.....and yes I understand you dillema.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:26 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by evulvmedia
Smart, responsible move- for your daughter's sake...

Besides, you are a photographer and a graphic artist...

Leaving out details is a little different than blatent lying...
True that, I guess. Still a little guilty by omission, though.

It was just one of those cases where discretion seemed to trump my usual habit of frankness (especially when it comes to talking with religion-oriented people).

Hell, for all I know he's an atheist, switched his kid like we did...and surfs for midgets and watersport pics at 2am.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:26 PM   #10
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My dad doesn't know anything about it. Then again, he doesn't know anything about my life except that I'm a "fuck up". Whatever.

My mom knows I've been "modeling". Then I told her it was artistic nude modeling. Then I told her that sometimes it's more "provocative". Then I told her I do some fetish. But I've left it at that. She hates it and is trying to bribe me with things so I'll stop. And she doesn't even know the whole story....
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:28 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Addie Rocks!
My dad doesn't know anything about it. Then again, he doesn't know anything about my life except that I'm a "fuck up". Whatever.

My mom knows I've been "modeling". Then I told her it was artistic nude modeling. Then I told her that sometimes it's more "provocative". Then I told her I do some fetish. But I've left it at that. She hates it and is trying to bribe me with things so I'll stop. And she doesn't even know the whole story....
I hear that sister. Its hard being the "fuck up" of the family.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:29 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Addie Rocks!
My dad doesn't know anything about it. Then again, he doesn't know anything about my life except that I'm a "fuck up". Whatever.

My mom knows I've been "modeling". Then I told her it was artistic nude modeling. Then I told her that sometimes it's more "provocative". Then I told her I do some fetish. But I've left it at that. She hates it and is trying to bribe me with things so I'll stop. And she doesn't even know the whole story....
If you're comfortable with what you do who cares at least it's a job and if done well it can be a very good paying job aswell
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:32 PM   #13
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I hear ya Addie. It's the same on this side, always getting told, "oh dear, but you wont be in it for long, you can do anything you want, you dont need to do that you know..." and I dont even get in front of the camera!
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:32 PM   #14
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If you're comfortable with what you do who cares at least it's a job and if done well it can be a very good paying job aswell
yeah, but i think it's best to have a cover job. and i do have other aspirations. i kind of just fell into this.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:34 PM   #15
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I hear ya Addie. It's the same on this side, always getting told, "oh dear, but you wont be in it for long, you can do anything you want, you dont need to do that you know..." and I dont even get in front of the camera!
exactly! i know i don't NEED to do this, but i fucking feel like, it ok? hahaha. i plan on finishing college, but for now, working at burger king doesn't sound very appealing
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:34 PM   #16
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Sounds like you were in a tough position and went with your instincts.
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:34 PM   #17
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I hear that sister. Its hard being the "fuck up" of the family.
fuck up, free spirit....same thing
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:38 PM   #18
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that is really said that we have to lie to some people about what we do....
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:39 PM   #19
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I say: Work online or Affiliate Marketing... then people always reply... "work online? doing what porn? haha"

if they only knew.
i do that also...
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Old 06-24-2006, 02:42 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Addie Rocks!
My dad doesn't know anything about it. Then again, he doesn't know anything about my life except that I'm a "fuck up". Whatever.

My mom knows I've been "modeling". Then I told her it was artistic nude modeling. Then I told her that sometimes it's more "provocative". Then I told her I do some fetish. But I've left it at that. She hates it and is trying to bribe me with things so I'll stop. And she doesn't even know the whole story....
Dealing with parents is one thing, sure. My wife and I have always been fortunate our parents are supportive of what we do - that's never been a problem. They've always viewed our endeavours as an honest livelihood...and appreciate how much we've accomplished over the years.

But having kids in the equation these days takes it to another level, and now we're startin' to get into issues we hadn't exactly given a lot of thought to in the past. We'd certainly feel rather bad if our daughter's friendship with a GF ended because of the potential bigotry and ignorance of her parents. So in this case, I simply thought it best not to tempt fate and take a chance.
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