You ever wonder about the one that got away & wonder, what if?

11 years ago, when I was a student at the university, I had a female friend who I was secretly in love with. At the time, my relationship with my ex was getting more sour every day, & every day I grew more fond of my friend. I had a baby daughter with my ex, & my friend was a mother of a 2 year old & she was married. Her marriage had some downs, & often we friendly joked while drinking, about leaving our partners & taking off together. We went to a movie togeher, as friends, & it was fun, & I wanted her so badly, but did not dare say anything. Close to the close of the semester we got hammered together one night & I tried to kiss her. She told me I had to much to drink, & that it was time to go. Much later, she had a fight with her husband, & she said she was taking off to live with family, & that she was not returning to school in the fall because she was transferring. I never saw her again.

Over the last 11 years I thought about her alot. Sometimes it consumed me, wondering, what if, what if, what if.. & I wanted her so bad then, & still today think about her. So, I am bored & on myspace I found an old friend whom I havent spoken to in years, so I decide I am going to search for more old friends & I found this girl I was so deeply consumed by. I looked at her pictures, & I sent her a message, & my heart is racing..........