So God calls to Adam and says, "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want to hear first?"
Adam replies, "The good news."
God answers, "Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain."
Then Adam says, "OK, so what's the bad news?"
And God says, "I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Four women have sued an Irvine restaurant after one of them claims she found a condom in her clam chowder when dining there last year.

Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

One of the women, a Ms. Laila Sultan, said she was eating at McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant when she bit into something rubbery.

A woman and a pro body builder met at a bar one night and hit it off well.They decided to go back to a hotel room for some all night fun.They get to the hotel room and the guy immediately starts to undress.First he takes off his shirt and says(refering to his arms) "see those baby thats 1000 pounds of dynamite".The woman starts to get more anxious.Then he continues to take off his pants and says( refering to his thighs) "see those baby thats 1000 pounds of dynamite".The woman is aching for action at this point as she starts to touch herself.The he starts to remove his boxers and show off his package as the women screams in freight and runs out of the room.he goes to find her and shes out in the parking lot gasping for breath.he asks her what was wrong and if she was ok.She replies "with 2000 pounds of dynamite and with such a short fuse I thought you were going to blow".

Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.

When she spit it out, Sultan said she discovered it was an unwrapped, rolled-up condom.

i think cool1 has the winner!!!

4 more to go

Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

these are crazy law suits!!! :1orglaugh

i think you meant 40 cool1???

Four women have sued an Irvine restaurant after one of them claims she found a condom in her clam chowder when dining there last year.

One of the women, a Ms. Laila Sultan, said she was eating at McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant when she bit into something rubbery.

When she spit it out, Sultan said she discovered it was an unwrapped, rolled-up condom.

She said she spent the next 15 minutes in a restroom vomiting and has since seen a psychiatrist and taken medication for depression and anxiety.

Sultan and her three dining companions, who were all having the clam chowder that day, filed a lawsuit claiming negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

On February 26, 2002, Sultan says she and her companions ordered drinks, appetizers and soup, but sent the soup back because it was lukewarm. When she got it back she found the condom.

At the forthcoming trial, the restaurant chain will argue that "there is absolutely no evidence to suggest the restaurant was the source of the condom, or any employee of the restaurant," said Patrick Stark, the attorney for McCormick & Schmick's, according to The Los Angeles Times.

"Either it came from (the four women) or it was thrown in as a practical joke by another patron at the restaurant."

The women said the condom was seized by the restaurant manager and not returned to them.

The women's lawsuit says the condom was "a possibly used one," but Stark told The Times that, because it was rolled up, "it was clearly unused."

Source: NBC4.tv, Los Angeles Times, "Women Sue After Finding Condom In Chowder, Customer Takes Rubbery Bite Of Chowder," November 11, 2003.

-- GOOD NEWS! --

The chewy chowder lawsuit has been resolved.

The case was scheduled to begin on January 19, 2004 in Orange County Superior Court but was canceled after the two sides reached a resolution. Details were not released.

"The case has been resolved in its entirety," lawyers for both sides said in a joint statement Monday. "Both sides are happy with the outcome."

Soup anyone?

Source: AP, Los Angeles Times, "Condom-In-Soup Case Is Resolved in Calif." Jan. 13, 2004 .

law suits are hillarious, except when your in them!!!

No I mean 3 more to go

We're Only Here For The Beer.

DENVER (AP) - Bob Donchez, known as "Bob the Beerman," was the first licensed vendor at Coors Field in Denver. He trademarked his character in 1993.

But it looks like Bob is going to have to cry in his own beer after a federal judge in Denver ruled that his "Beerman" name isn't protected.

Bob sued Coors about four years ago over the brewer's "Beerman" ad campaign. But the judge in the case ruled the term beerman is generic and doesn't infringe on the rights of Bob the Beerman.

Attorneys for the Bob say they'll likely file an appeal.

Source: AP, "Coors, Vendor Can Both Use Beerman," October 1, 2003.

Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.

Akasha
07-07-2003, 04:30 PM
*In Pensacola, Fla., a drunken man who passed out on the CSX train tracks sued because he was hit by a train. Pedro Duran, 56, lost an arm and suffered a broken back in the accident. The train's engineer, who saw Duran but thought he was a lump of trash, blew the train's whistle for 54 seconds before the collision. Duran was awarded $600,000 for damages.

*Two surfers went to court after one allegedly stole the other surfer's wave. The case was dismissed after court officials found it impossible to put a monetary value on the wave.

*A California woman sued a grocery store after she dropped a six-pack of beer on her feet. The woman was not injured, but she said that it hurt. She won the lawsuit. (amount undisclosed)

*A student attending a college in Idaho fell from his window while mooning a friend. The student then sued the college, claiming that it had not provided adequate information about the dangers of upper-story windows.

*Six nurses who worked at a facility for the disabled were fired after refusing to comply with new countywide rules that required them to give patients sexual assistance, such as helping them with masturbation or putting on a condom. The nurses have filed a lawsuit.

*A man sued the city of San Diego for $5.4 million after he suffered emotional trauma at an Elton John concert in Municipal Stadium. The man says that a woman was using the men's urinal, a sight that he claims he found extremely upsetting.

*Jerry Williams sued and won $14,500 plus medical expenses after his neighbor's beagle bit him on the buttocks. The dog was on a chain in a fenced-in yard. Williams had been shooting the dog repeatedly with a pellet gun at the time of the incident.

*Kara Walton sued a nightclub after she fell out of a bathroom window and had her two front teeth knocked out. She won $12,000 plus dental expenses. She fell from the window, which she was using to sneak into the club to avoid the $3.50 cover charge.

*Erica Bailey, 21, is suing for $1.5 million after the child she was babysitting hit her in the throat. Bailey claimed she could not live a normal life with her new, hoarse voice.

*
A woman sued the company that makes the Clapper, the popular device for turning your lights off without getting up. The woman's suit claimed she "had to clap too hard to turn her appliances off."

*Two suspected drug dealers were shot in a gang-related war. The two sued the owners of the Ramada Inn parking lot where it occurred for $1.5 million in damages. The Florida hotel is appealing.

*17-year-old Ricky Higgins is suing his high school after he was kicked off the basketball team for driving drunk. He is suing for $100,000 and would like to be reinstated on the team. His lawyers claim that he is an alcoholic, and that his disability is covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act.

*A lawsuit was settled out of court between a teen and a company that sold the nets used for basketball hoops. The boy lost two teeth when they got caught in the net while he was attempting to slam-dunk a ball. The settlement was for $50,000.

*Carl Truman, 19, won $74,000 and medical expenses after he sued the neighbor who ran over his hand. His neighbor claimed that he did not realize Truman was stealing his hubcaps at the time.

*A Canadian man is suing a New York coffee shop after suffering what he calls damage to his manhood. His penis was pinched between the toilet seat and bowl when he reached forward for toilet paper. He is asking for $1 million to compensate for his "dire and permanent" injuries. His wife is also suing for $500,000, claiming her husband cannot perform his marital duties.

According to GFY contest rules found here http://bbs.gofuckyourself.com/gfy_faqs.html

rule number 1
1. No 'most posts in a thread contests'. Max 100 posts in a thread by one person.


2 more to go

WHat do you mean cool1?

guys you seem to have fun :)

1 more to go

THE PLANTIFF: Surfer #1

THE DEFENDANT: Surfer #2

WHAT HAPPENED: Two surfers went to court after one allegedly stole the other surfer's wave.

THE VERDICT: The case was dismissed after court officials found it impossible to put a monetary value on the wave.

where does it say that, i cant find it?

Well this is my 100th post in this thread

A big thank you to www.PlugInFeeds.com for having this contest.
Was nice to win something.

bvds about mid way down the gfy rules page

Contest Rules

We all agree that too many contests are annoying and fuel post whores. So:

1. No 'most posts in a thread contests'. Max 100 posts in a thread by one person.

2. No one registered in less than 60 days before can post in a contest thread.

3. Contests can't run more than 10 days. And no more than 3 contests at a time. And since only top advertisers can run contests, you need to coordinate with Eric BEFORE starting a contest.

born4porn 173
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ok, thanks cool1 and born, i will watch my posts! 12 more for me, 23 more for the thread

Are we doin this?

yeah, lets go verbal! bring this to the next 100!!!

Bump it up.

yeah, bumpity bump,

ok thanks pluginfeeds and all who posted so far, it's been a blast! :thumbsup I didn't know about the 100 limit. I just read what was in this thread and didn't know. I'm sorry! :(

Getting closer

15 to go!

lets go! :)

up up up

come on master, lets do it for plugins!

come on master, lets do it for plugins!

lets roll it fast!. go! :)

Almost to the next one

i wanna win! :)

Winner winner

go go go go!

lets go!!!

wohoooooooooo!!!! :)

i wanna win!!!

this is it I can feel it in them bones lol

winner winner

Did I get it?