I live in the largest gay community in western Canada so needless to say it's impossible to be served without being hit on. I know they know I'm straight since I dress like shit so I'm assuming that they either dig straight guys or get a kick out of seeing us sweat.
Well enough was enough. The gay man at Starbucks (which I almost never go to but for different reasons) who works the night shift licked his lips at me for the last time. That's right, I discovered a method to passively retaliate against unwanted homosexual advances - I hit on him. Every time I'd order he would pause and never break eye contact while licking his lips so I did what chicks always do: I leaned over (that's more effective if you have tits), tilted my head slightly to the right, maintained eye contact, and slowly too my change while giving him a 'panting' smile.
Fuck ya! It was the little details that did it. I knew I had him convinced when he grimaced and went to the back. There was no way this guy was going to date what appeared to be a freshly out of the closet guy with a crappy sense of style. I must say that I kept my joy bottled up in case that was just a fluke but I'm happy to report that I have just returned from Starbucks and the studly commedian switched spots with the coffee making guy when he saw me come in. As a side note I must admit I was a little put off by what is probably the most blatent rejection I've ever received; shit at least with chicks I get the satisfaction of being called a 'pig'.
This experience has taught me that not only do I have the ability to completely repulse women because of my big mouth but I can disgust gay men too!!!
C'mon everyone give me a thumbs up!
Well enough was enough. The gay man at Starbucks (which I almost never go to but for different reasons) who works the night shift licked his lips at me for the last time. That's right, I discovered a method to passively retaliate against unwanted homosexual advances - I hit on him. Every time I'd order he would pause and never break eye contact while licking his lips so I did what chicks always do: I leaned over (that's more effective if you have tits), tilted my head slightly to the right, maintained eye contact, and slowly too my change while giving him a 'panting' smile.
Fuck ya! It was the little details that did it. I knew I had him convinced when he grimaced and went to the back. There was no way this guy was going to date what appeared to be a freshly out of the closet guy with a crappy sense of style. I must say that I kept my joy bottled up in case that was just a fluke but I'm happy to report that I have just returned from Starbucks and the studly commedian switched spots with the coffee making guy when he saw me come in. As a side note I must admit I was a little put off by what is probably the most blatent rejection I've ever received; shit at least with chicks I get the satisfaction of being called a 'pig'.
This experience has taught me that not only do I have the ability to completely repulse women because of my big mouth but I can disgust gay men too!!!
C'mon everyone give me a thumbs up!
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