Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders... - GoFuckYourself.com

The Duck · 05-01-2006, 02:01 PM

The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?"

"Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose.

"Sand??? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!"

The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand.

Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose's shoulders, and he is let across the border.

Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?"

"Sand," says Jose.

A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.

For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn't show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you're smuggling something. For a year it's driven me crazy. It's all I can think about... I can't get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I'm beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?"

Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..."

RhiannonAPM · 05-01-2006, 02:09 PM

Dagwolf · 05-01-2006, 02:17 PM

Tha's one smooth vato, vato.

Screaming · 05-01-2006, 02:20 PM

figures...

The Duck · 05-01-2006, 02:20 PM

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"

wdsguy · 05-01-2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kandah

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"

The Duck · 05-01-2006, 03:17 PM

Why is there no mexican olympic team? Because all the mexicans that could RUN, JUMP, and SWIM are Already in the US!

No offence mexicans! ^-^

The Duck · 05-01-2006, 03:21 PM

A Swede was in a pub in Finland and a regular customer suggested to him:
- "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten beer bottles on your head." The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of the peer pressure. The Finn smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles.
- "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the Swede.
- "I am not a total idiot," the Finn replied, "then I would have to give you that $200."

05-01-2006, 02:01 PM	#1
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders... The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?" "Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose. "Sand??? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand. Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose's shoulders, and he is let across the border. Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?" "Sand," says Jose. A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border. For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn't show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico. "Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you're smuggling something. For a year it's driven me crazy. It's all I can think about... I can't get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I'm beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?" Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..." __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

05-01-2006, 02:09 PM	#2
RhiannonAPM Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 728	__________________ ICQ---257-820-736

05-01-2006, 02:17 PM	#3
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	Tha's one smooth vato, vato. __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

05-01-2006, 02:20 PM	#4
Screaming I can change this!!!!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 18,972	figures... __________________

05-01-2006, 02:20 PM	#5
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?" __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

05-01-2006, 03:17 PM	#7
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	Why is there no mexican olympic team? Because all the mexicans that could RUN, JUMP, and SWIM are Already in the US! No offence mexicans! ^-^ __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]

05-01-2006, 03:21 PM	#8
The Duck Adult Content Provider Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Location: Europe Posts: 18,243	A Swede was in a pub in Finland and a regular customer suggested to him: - "I'll give you $200, if you let me smash ten beer bottles on your head." The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of the peer pressure. The Finn smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles. - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the Swede. - "I am not a total idiot," the Finn replied, "then I would have to give you that $200." __________________ Skype Horusmaia ICQ 41555245 Email [email protected]