Every have a "foot-in-the-mouth" moment?

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  • TheSpreader
    So Fucking Banned
    • Nov 2003
    • 501

    #1

    Every have a "foot-in-the-mouth" moment?

    I've had quite a few and that is probably one of the main reasons why I think before I talk now.

    When I was younger I worked at T.G.I.Fridays as a server. I go up to a table, introduce myself and ask them if I could get them something to drink. They look at me, look at each other, and then continue to read the menu. I repeat my question and receive the same reaction. So I do the fake sign language thing and do the whole talking like a deaf person thing as a joke. Well, it turns out the man at the table really was deaf and was waiting for his lady companion to translate what I was asking.

    Same restaurant this lady comes up to me and asks me if another server is around. So I go in the back and find her in the smoke area and tell her that someone is out front to see her. She asked who it was and I said, "I don't know. Some fucking ugly fat bitch that probably wants to complain about our small food portions!". Turns out it was her mom.

    Here's another one and the sad part is that these are all 100% absolutely true and not pulled from some mass email or website. When I was 17 I was a host at our local Red Lobster. When couples would come in with their kids I would jokingly say, "2 and a half?" - and it was alway met with laughs and smiles. So one Friday night we're totally slammed and I see out of the corner of my eye a lady, a man, and a kid. So I grab 2 adult menus and the kid's menu and say, "2 and a half?" That's when I hear the "midget voice", you know the voice and it barked out, "Um, pardon me but I consider myself a full person!". I looked back and it was a midget.

    How about you? Ever have one of those moments when you just want to crawl under a dark rock and die?
  • G-Rotica
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2005
    • 4258

    #2
    Damn, those are bad. I guess I've been lucky.

    Comment

    • ContentSHOOTER
      Confirmed User
      • Dec 2005
      • 3770

      #3
      I think we all do those sorts of things in our lives... I think it starts at this age in life



      and continues till the Grimm Reaper comes a calling

      Just my thoughts on that
      Shooting Exclusive Content for over 16 years


      You can reach me at [email protected]


      I have survived in this industry shooting exclusive for 16 years.

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      • sniperwolf
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Mar 2005
        • 17743

        #4
        sure is embarassing.. I must have forgotten all of them
        ~Accepting design works~

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        • evildick

          #5
          Had one the other night. I have a friend who was hit by a train while riding his motorcycle about 10 years ago. Lost a good portion of his arms and one of his legs.

          Anyway, he was over drinking beer at my place and he seen my Sin City DVD on the table. He asked if it was any good and I said "hell ya"... and proceeded to describe the scene where Mickey Rourke cuts off Frodo's (whatever that guy's name is) arms and legs.

          After I said it I kinda glanced at his arms (he's got hooks for hands that he controls with back muscles) and realized I touched on a shitty subject. He had just spent his last day in court not a week earlier in his legal battle against CN Rail for not having the railway crossing marked properly, so he was kinda bitter about the whole subject at that point.

          Not a good idea to mention how cool it was to see arms getting chopped off to a guy who actually had his own arms chopped off.

          Comment

          • 2HousePlague
            CURATOR
            • Jul 2004
            • 14572

            #6
            I have made the "So, when are you due?" faux pas more times than I can feel proud of.


            2hp
            tada!

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            • Spunky
              I need a beer
              • Jun 2002
              • 133986

              #7
              Thankfully haven't embarrassed myself that way..those were good

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              • MattO
                The O is for Oohhh
                • Feb 2003
                • 10861

                #8
                I asked a guy with a eye patch if he was into pirates and shit, and he said "no, I am missing this eye"

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                • PimpDaddyPants
                  Confirmed User
                  • Aug 2005
                  • 1581

                  #9
                  The other day i was waiting in line at the bank behind this regular joe there was a woman at the counter with short shorts on and HUGE TITTIES, all I wispered just enough "god damn" the guy turns around and says im not in line

                  i move up she finishes and walked out with him i was like im glad he didnt catch onto that hehe

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                  • escorpio
                    I love to racism, bro!
                    • Oct 2002
                    • 23487

                    #10
                    I once said "swear on my mother's grave" to someone. Found out later their mother died 5 days earlier.

                    Once goofed on a client named "Wang" to a new guy at work. Found out later the new guy's name was also "Wang."
                    Unvaxxed, still alive.

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                    • JuiceMonkey
                      Confirmed User
                      • Oct 2004
                      • 3581

                      #11
                      Me and a buddy were in the change room at the gym, and for some reason we were doing fat albert impressions... and who walks around the corner a 400Lb black guy...

                      this was so weird because it's probably the only time I've ever done a fat albert impression..
                      ICQ: 72251955 GTalk: JuiceMonkey

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                      • Kevin - The PNN
                        Confirmed User
                        • Jun 2005
                        • 1364

                        #12
                        Good Stuff hahaha8211; I have had several golden moments.

                        One my wife was in. My wife was in line at our bank with our 4-year old daughter. Our daughter was being rambunctious that day and in line at the bank. My wife tells our daughter, hahaha8220;If you do not settle down, or are not going to be allowed to spend the night at grandmahahaha8217;s tonight.hahaha8221; As quick as can be, our daughter yells out to my wife, hahaha8220;Ohahaha8217;yea hahaha8211; and if I do not get to spend the night with grandma, Ihahaha8217;m going to tell grandma I saw you kissing daddyhahaha8217;s pee-pee last night. My wife ran out of the bank when everyone in the bank busted out laughing.

                        Another fine moment, my wife had our son in the bathroom at her in Kings Island (local amusement park. He was five at the time; she could not leave him alone. While in the bathroom stall with my wife, my son starts yelling out, hahaha8220;THERE IS A STRING IN YOUR BUTT MOMMY.hahaha8221; The bathroom was full, the line was out the door. My son kept repeating over and over, MOMMY, THERE IS A STRING IN YOUR BUTT, LET ME PULL IT OUT FOR YOU MOMMY.hahaha8221; Everyone in the restroom was busting a gut laughing. My wife stayed in the restroom for about hahaha189; hour waiting for everyone that heard this left the building. Needless to say, I heard about it. That was the last time my son went in the restroom with my wife.
                        www.ThePNN.com
                        The Porn Niche Network

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                        • escorpio
                          I love to racism, bro!
                          • Oct 2002
                          • 23487

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Kevin ? The PNN
                          Good Stuff hahaha8211; I have had several golden moments.
                          How about the time you said "My family gave their lives for this County, not yours. Get the fuck out of my Country." to me and didn't have the balls to answer to it?
                          Unvaxxed, still alive.

                          Comment

                          • Missy
                            FLASHCA$H.COM
                            • Jul 2001
                            • 1257

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Kevin ? The PNN
                            Good Stuff hahaha8211; I have had several golden moments.

                            One my wife was in. My wife was in line at our bank with our 4-year old daughter. Our daughter was being rambunctious that day and in line at the bank. My wife tells our daughter, hahaha8220;If you do not settle down, or are not going to be allowed to spend the night at grandmahahaha8217;s tonight.hahaha8221; As quick as can be, our daughter yells out to my wife, hahaha8220;Ohahaha8217;yea hahaha8211; and if I do not get to spend the night with grandma, Ihahaha8217;m going to tell grandma I saw you kissing daddyhahaha8217;s pee-pee last night. My wife ran out of the bank when everyone in the bank busted out laughing.
                            I got this one in my email a few weeks ago, along with several other anecdotes of "cute" things kids say. Nice try though.
                            See what's new at
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                            Missy - Brian's Sidekick
                            ICQ: 78989718

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                            • reynold
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • Oct 2002
                              • 51271

                              #15
                              an officemate showed me a video of him and his band playing. the video was shot by someone with shaky hands, like that in Blair Witch movie. I said "who's the fucker who took this video?" It turned out it was his girlfriend.

                              Comment

                              • Kevin - The PNN
                                Confirmed User
                                • Jun 2005
                                • 1364

                                #16
                                Originally posted by escorpio
                                How about the time you said "My family gave their lives for this County, not yours. Get the fuck out of my Country." to me and didn't have the balls to answer to it?

                                You are a real fuck - I did post a responce. Move on.
                                www.ThePNN.com
                                The Porn Niche Network

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                                • Kevin - The PNN
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Jun 2005
                                  • 1364

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by Missy
                                  I got this one in my email a few weeks ago, along with several other anecdotes of "cute" things kids say. Nice try though.

                                  This happened several year ago. Where did you see it? I enteresd it in a contest a few years ago on a blog site - It was in the top third. The blog site was sponsored by ocal radio station. www.WEBN.com
                                  www.ThePNN.com
                                  The Porn Niche Network

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                                  • Kevin - The PNN
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Jun 2005
                                    • 1364

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Missy
                                    I got this one in my email a few weeks ago, along with several other anecdotes of "cute" things kids say. Nice try though.

                                    Sorry - The first one (about the bank) I heard too, it did not happen to my wife. Just thought it was better in first person. The second (Pull your string) did happen. We won $250 from www.WEBN.com
                                    www.ThePNN.com
                                    The Porn Niche Network

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                                    • MrKinkade
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Nov 2005
                                      • 619

                                      #19
                                      when I was 18-19 I worked at burgerking the late night shift and when we were bored we created Retard races where we act like special olympics contestents and would run around the store we hired a new employee and he wanted to see I asked this girl to look in the lobby see if anyone was there so me and 3 others started the race at one point in the race I fall and try to get back up when I rolled over there were a table of 2 "special kids" with thier parents or whoever they were... needless to say I was fired the next day


                                      wanna join the best swingers club in Cincinnati go to http://www.club440online.com

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                                      • Missy
                                        FLASHCA$H.COM
                                        • Jul 2001
                                        • 1257

                                        #20
                                        Originally posted by Kevin ? The PNN
                                        Sorry - The first one (about the bank) I heard too, it did not happen to my wife. Just thought it was better in first person. The second (Pull your string) did happen. We won $250 from www.WEBN.com
                                        Both cute stories though. I think we don't give kids enough credit sometimes... and then they surprise us and come up with things like that that catch us (and everybody around us) totally off-guard.
                                        See what's new at
                                        FLASHCA$H

                                        Missy - Brian's Sidekick
                                        ICQ: 78989718

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                                        • escorpio
                                          I love to racism, bro!
                                          • Oct 2002
                                          • 23487

                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by Kevin ? The PNN
                                          You are a real fuck - I did post a responce. Move on.
                                          Whining about an ICQ wasn't an answer to my question. You're not man enough to stand up to what you said. What a pathetic excuse for a man you are. Not big enough to admit you don't know shit about me or my family and that you were talking out your self-righteous American ass. Man the fuck up.
                                          Unvaxxed, still alive.

                                          Comment

                                          • escorpio
                                            I love to racism, bro!
                                            • Oct 2002
                                            • 23487

                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Missy
                                            I got this one in my email a few weeks ago, along with several other anecdotes of "cute" things kids say. Nice try though.
                                            BUSTED!




                                            Originally posted by Kevin ? The PNN
                                            Sorry - The first one (about the bank) I heard too, it did not happen to my wife. Just thought it was better in first person.
                                            What a fucking tool!
                                            Unvaxxed, still alive.

                                            Comment

                                            • psili
                                              Confirmed User
                                              • Apr 2003
                                              • 5526

                                              #23
                                              Was at the end of a first date with a girl and was moving in for the good-night kiss. Called he by her friend's name.... I never saw or heard from her again.

                                              Your post count means nothing.

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                                              • TDF
                                                Triple OG nigga on GFY
                                                • Mar 2002
                                                • 27296

                                                #24
                                                only when I say 'see sig' in public
                                                Sig heil

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