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Old 04-20-2006, 04:34 PM   #1
Fah King
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Cat in heat? (Helpful tip)

So my cat is realy going crazy for the past few days, just screaming and making me go insane. Unfortunately I can't fix it since you cant do it to a cat in heat so I found an alternative that worked Yes I know I am a bit crazy but here are the instructions :
Procedure:

-Grab wailing, squirming cat and place it on your lap with its hind quarters readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this procedure is followed, then certainly each time afterward.

-Insert the Q-tip into the cat's vagina. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.

-Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat's vagina slowly at first, then more rapidly. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a barbed cat penis digging around in there.

-You are finished when the cat is finished. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it enjoy itself for a few minutes before attempting to retrieve your Q-tip.

-That is it, you are done. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat flares up again.
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Last edited by Fah King; 04-20-2006 at 04:37 PM..
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:09 PM   #2
reynold
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cats are just damn annoying
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:13 PM   #3
BoyAlley
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Uhm............. Ok, I'm not even going to say it.
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:15 PM   #4
Donny
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This post disturbs me for some reason.
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:17 PM   #5
BoyAlley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donny
This post disturbs me for some reason.
Maybe because he's talking about getting his cat off with a Q-tip?
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:18 PM   #6
BusterBunny
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come near me and i bite your freak ass
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:20 PM   #7
Spunky
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I'll pass on stimulating my pet with a q tip
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:22 PM   #8
mrkris
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Speaking of cats, I shaved both my cats today with a shitty trimmer, they're all patchy and bald, it's awesome :D
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:27 PM   #9
onlineriches
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strangely arousing
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Old 04-20-2006, 09:38 PM   #10
uno
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If you ignore em, the cats will stop eventually.
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Old 04-21-2006, 07:48 AM   #11
elitetec
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strange stuff
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Old 04-21-2006, 07:49 AM   #12
G-Rotica
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a q-tip? damn and i used my pinky
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Old 04-21-2006, 07:50 AM   #13
white-rob-like-whoa
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goddamn, cats suck!
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Old 04-21-2006, 07:53 AM   #14
Fetish Gimp
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So let me get this straight.

You shelter your cat, you feed it, you buy toys for it, you clean its shit and piss, and now you're gonna jerk it off? Wow.
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