Something To Offend Everyone! - GoFuckYourself.com

Loryn · 04-17-2006, 04:34 PM

What do you call t wo Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are yo u sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What's the difference between a new girlfriend and a new dog?
After 2 weeks, you still call the dog.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

AND....LAST BUT NOT LEAST

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.

minusonebit · 04-17-2006, 04:36 PM

Some good ones in there. Bookmarked for future use.

EdgeXXX · 04-17-2006, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.

I love that one

. Thanks Loryn

nofx · 04-17-2006, 04:39 PM

Yea Racism Is Funny!!

Go Racist Powers

WiredGuy · 04-17-2006, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

hahaha, i loved that one!
WG

EdgeXXX · 04-17-2006, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loryn-Adult.com

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Wait a minute... I didn't know that Juicy was dyslexic

Nicky · 04-17-2006, 04:44 PM

hehe, some funny ones in there, thanks for the laugh

madawgz · 04-17-2006, 04:47 PM

nice ones, i didn't get offended tho =)

Loryn · 04-17-2006, 04:51 PM

This one is my favorite:

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

baddog · 04-17-2006, 04:51 PM

Some funny ones for sure.

strobi · 04-17-2006, 04:55 PM

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

llllllllooooooooooollll!!!!!!

reynold · 04-17-2006, 06:53 PM

I had a great laugh on those jokes

Spunky · 04-17-2006, 07:09 PM

Those are great and I ressemble this remark

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

xerex · 04-17-2006, 07:11 PM

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.[/QUOTE]

04-17-2006, 04:34 PM	#1
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	Something To Offend Everyone! What do you call t wo Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts? Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are yo u sure it's mine?" Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas ? Everyone has the same DNA. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. What's the difference between a new girlfriend and a new dog? After 2 weeks, you still call the dog. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying "Yo." Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe". How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO! Why is there no Disneyland in China ? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides AND....LAST BUT NOT LEAST What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit. __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

04-17-2006, 04:39 PM	#4
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	Yea Racism Is Funny!! Go Racist Powers __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

04-17-2006, 04:44 PM	#7
Nicky Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,070	hehe, some funny ones in there, thanks for the laugh __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com

04-17-2006, 04:47 PM	#8
madawgz 8.8.8.8 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Noordermarkt Posts: 30,509	nice ones, i didn't get offended tho =) __________________ TAEMDLRMSKRJIXMRLSMRJ.

04-17-2006, 04:51 PM	#9
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	This one is my favorite: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. __________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

04-17-2006, 04:36 PM	#2
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	Some good ones in there. Bookmarked for future use.

04-17-2006, 04:51 PM	#10
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	Some funny ones for sure.

04-17-2006, 04:55 PM	#11
strobi Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Belgium Posts: 7,383	Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong" llllllllooooooooooollll!!!!!!

04-17-2006, 06:53 PM	#12
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	I had a great laugh on those jokes

04-17-2006, 07:09 PM	#13
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Those are great and I ressemble this remark Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

04-17-2006, 07:11 PM	#14
xerex Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: icq.336487572 Posts: 751	What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.[/QUOTE] __________________ 336487572