Remembered a joke :) - GoFuckYourself.com

VicJay · 04-13-2006, 06:31 AM

What Do I Look Like?

A woman was trying to do her laundry one day, when her washing machine suddenly broke down. Distraught, she called her husband at the office and said, "Honey, can you please come home and fix the washing machine? It doesn't work." The angry husband replied, "What do I look like? The freakin? Maytag man?" and hung up. The woman decided to go to the Laundromat to complete her washing. She got in the car, but when she turned the key in the ignition, it wouldn't start. She again called her husband at work and said, "Honey, I tried to go to the Laundromat with the car, but it wouldn't start. Can you come home and take a look at it?" Again, the angry husband snaps, "What do I look like? Freakin? Mr. Goodwrench?" and hung up. She decided that the best thing to do is call the Maytag man. The Maytag man arrived and fixed the washing machine. She then asked him if he knows anything about fixing cars. He replied that he knows a little and goes outside and takes a look under the hood. Ten minutes later, he returned and said, "Your car is running fine now. The only thing wrong was your fuel filter was a little dirty." The lady said, "Wow, you're a pretty handy guy! How much will this all cost?" The Maytag man says, "I?ll tell ya what, lady. You can bake me a cake or have sex with me - your choice." Later that evening, the husband returned home from work. The lady explained to her husband that the Maytag man fixed the washing machine and the car. The husband asked how much all of this will cost. She replied that he wanted me to bake a cake for him or have sex. The husband then said "Well, what kind of cake did you bake for him?" The lady said, "What do I look like? Freakin? Betty Crocker?"

Sexsitesurfer · 04-13-2006, 06:34 AM

Lol.
Nice man!

cool1 · 04-13-2006, 06:43 AM

LOL.. a good old one

VicJay · 04-13-2006, 06:49 AM

This is nice one too:

Superman was bored because Batman and Spiderman were on vacation and there was nothing much to do. Flying around New York one day, he spotted Wonder Woman lying on her back with her legs apart on the roof of a tall building. He had always lusted after Wonder Woman so he thought he would swoop down and have his wicked way with her. "What was that?" said Wonder Woman afterwards. The Invisible Man climbed off her and said: "I dunno, but it hurt."

sickkittens · 04-13-2006, 06:54 AM

Old and predictable but funny in a way.

tyler. · 04-13-2006, 07:14 AM

haha , thats a nice one

G-Rotica · 04-13-2006, 07:15 AM

Downtime · 04-13-2006, 07:51 AM

fuckin sweet joke!

Manowar · 04-13-2006, 07:53 AM

LittleSassy · 04-13-2006, 09:18 AM

lol....

HammerALL · 04-13-2006, 09:23 AM

Those were both great ones - haven't heard either in a long time!

VicJay · 04-13-2006, 09:34 AM

This one is hilarious

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making
love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom
window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her
vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me,
there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband
immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the
situation.

The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky
situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir
would permit." The husband being very
concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to
get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK,
what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis
and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee
getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and
the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's
vagina. The husband nodded and gave his
approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get
on with it."

So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with
honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few
gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has
noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So
the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor
began shafting the young lady very hard indeed.

The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began
to moan and groan aloud.

The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was
enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's
breasts and started making loud noises.

The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and
shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think
you're doing?" The doctor, still
concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the
bastard!"

majorbitch · 04-13-2006, 09:46 AM

HAHAHA. Good one!

czarina · 04-13-2006, 10:05 AM

very good ones!! The one about the Maytag guy and the vagina-bee were awesome.
Post more!

VicJay · 04-13-2006, 11:02 AM

Italian Joke

(Must be read with an Italian accent) One day ima gonna
Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only
one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the
toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate.
She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I
don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress
brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna
fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no
understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not
fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my
room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the
manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to
toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He
say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to
the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I
say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to
Italy.

04-13-2006, 06:31 AM	#1
VicJay Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,622	Remembered a joke :) What Do I Look Like? A woman was trying to do her laundry one day, when her washing machine suddenly broke down. Distraught, she called her husband at the office and said, "Honey, can you please come home and fix the washing machine? It doesn't work." The angry husband replied, "What do I look like? The freakin? Maytag man?" and hung up. The woman decided to go to the Laundromat to complete her washing. She got in the car, but when she turned the key in the ignition, it wouldn't start. She again called her husband at work and said, "Honey, I tried to go to the Laundromat with the car, but it wouldn't start. Can you come home and take a look at it?" Again, the angry husband snaps, "What do I look like? Freakin? Mr. Goodwrench?" and hung up. She decided that the best thing to do is call the Maytag man. The Maytag man arrived and fixed the washing machine. She then asked him if he knows anything about fixing cars. He replied that he knows a little and goes outside and takes a look under the hood. Ten minutes later, he returned and said, "Your car is running fine now. The only thing wrong was your fuel filter was a little dirty." The lady said, "Wow, you're a pretty handy guy! How much will this all cost?" The Maytag man says, "I?ll tell ya what, lady. You can bake me a cake or have sex with me - your choice." Later that evening, the husband returned home from work. The lady explained to her husband that the Maytag man fixed the washing machine and the car. The husband asked how much all of this will cost. She replied that he wanted me to bake a cake for him or have sex. The husband then said "Well, what kind of cake did you bake for him?" The lady said, "What do I look like? Freakin? Betty Crocker?" __________________ Use Xeon Vega CMS: It's reliable and fast learning script that provides you with the most efficient control over your paysites! Increase your traffic using Xeon TGP/MGP scripts with its unique thumbnail rotator, advance stats and gallery checker! Xeon Paysite Reviews – interactive manager that allows you to categorize your reviews, add a hardlinks trades and announcements for new reviews!

04-13-2006, 06:34 AM	#2
Sexsitesurfer Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Porn land Posts: 3,157	Lol. Nice man! __________________ Paul DDF Productions Marketing manager Skype: Marketing.DDF ICQ: 316302313 Cell: +36 30 732 6076 [email protected]

04-13-2006, 06:43 AM	#3
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	LOL.. a good old one __________________

04-13-2006, 06:49 AM	#4
VicJay Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,622	This is nice one too: Superman was bored because Batman and Spiderman were on vacation and there was nothing much to do. Flying around New York one day, he spotted Wonder Woman lying on her back with her legs apart on the roof of a tall building. He had always lusted after Wonder Woman so he thought he would swoop down and have his wicked way with her. "What was that?" said Wonder Woman afterwards. The Invisible Man climbed off her and said: "I dunno, but it hurt." __________________ Use Xeon Vega CMS: It's reliable and fast learning script that provides you with the most efficient control over your paysites! Increase your traffic using Xeon TGP/MGP scripts with its unique thumbnail rotator, advance stats and gallery checker! Xeon Paysite Reviews – interactive manager that allows you to categorize your reviews, add a hardlinks trades and announcements for new reviews!

04-13-2006, 06:54 AM	#5
sickkittens I am a meat popsicle. Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,100	Old and predictable but funny in a way. __________________ HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543

04-13-2006, 07:14 AM	#6
tyler. Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,653	haha , thats a nice one

04-13-2006, 07:15 AM	#7
G-Rotica Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 4,258	__________________

04-13-2006, 07:51 AM	#8
Downtime Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: America. Posts: 7,320	fuckin sweet joke! __________________ #27024067

04-13-2006, 07:53 AM	#9
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528

04-13-2006, 09:18 AM	#10
LittleSassy Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: behind you Posts: 7,402	lol.... __________________ Proadultoutsourcing.com ~ version 2.0 OFFSHORE SOLUTIONS PROVIDER SINCE 2003 ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE 264-580-554

04-13-2006, 09:23 AM	#11
HammerALL Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Toronto Posts: 3,506	Those were both great ones - haven't heard either in a long time! __________________ Mario Amaral AKA: Hammerall Affiliate Sales \| Email:[email protected] Skype: Hammerall \| ICQ: 190272140

04-13-2006, 09:34 AM	#12
VicJay Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,622	This one is hilarious One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my penis I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard!" __________________ Use Xeon Vega CMS: It's reliable and fast learning script that provides you with the most efficient control over your paysites! Increase your traffic using Xeon TGP/MGP scripts with its unique thumbnail rotator, advance stats and gallery checker! Xeon Paysite Reviews – interactive manager that allows you to categorize your reviews, add a hardlinks trades and announcements for new reviews!

04-13-2006, 09:46 AM	#13
majorbitch Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 708	HAHAHA. Good one! __________________

04-13-2006, 10:05 AM	#14
czarina Webmaster Extraordinaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A beautiful beach... Posts: 10,748	very good ones!! The one about the Maytag guy and the vagina-bee were awesome. Post more!

04-13-2006, 11:02 AM	#15
VicJay Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 1,622	Italian Joke (Must be read with an Italian accent) One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy. __________________ Use Xeon Vega CMS: It's reliable and fast learning script that provides you with the most efficient control over your paysites! Increase your traffic using Xeon TGP/MGP scripts with its unique thumbnail rotator, advance stats and gallery checker! Xeon Paysite Reviews – interactive manager that allows you to categorize your reviews, add a hardlinks trades and announcements for new reviews!