Six reasons you should think before you speak... - GoFuckYourself.com

Playa-Deak · 04-06-2006, 09:51 PM

6 reasons you should think before you speak

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the word back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few who did.

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job? I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My Husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, I think I like playing with men's balls.

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, No, I'm just looking at your nuts. My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving right now she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night! The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said No. I kept thinking Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have any clothes with me. Then I said, Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident? No, he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, Danny, did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!! While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a true story... We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night? Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Spunky · 04-06-2006, 09:53 PM

Those are hilarious..we all do stupid things we regret

Bob_cougar · 04-07-2006, 12:04 AM

very well said! as they say, "Less talk, less mistake"

Vitasoy · 04-07-2006, 03:10 AM

Lol... those are great.

mOrrI · 04-07-2006, 03:53 AM

Now there is something to think about

Manowar · 04-07-2006, 03:58 AM

wheres that 8 inches loool

Playa-Deak · 04-07-2006, 12:25 PM

Coolio 4sho

Ross · 04-07-2006, 12:31 PM

HAHA funny. Gonna mail them to some friends who are at work right now

Deej · 04-07-2006, 12:37 PM

The last two are fuckin hilarious

LittleSassy · 04-07-2006, 01:23 PM

gotta love kids when they talked back at ya....you can never predict what they're gonna say

Tom_PM · 04-07-2006, 01:27 PM

lol those are funny :D

axelcat · 04-07-2006, 01:30 PM

sicone · 04-07-2006, 01:34 PM

good shit

bastardsquad · 04-07-2006, 02:46 PM

#4 is just amazing...haha...

iWeb_Iya · 04-07-2006, 04:17 PM

SPEAK without thinking
and you'll gonna WALK OUT without looking

Morgan · 04-07-2006, 04:26 PM

those are good. hahah

sniperwolf · 04-07-2006, 05:27 PM

hehe..Those are great.. So true that we should always think before we talk..lol

04-06-2006, 09:51 PM	#1
Playa-Deak Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Chi-Town Posts: 1,065	Six reasons you should think before you speak... 6 reasons you should think before you speak Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the word back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few who did. FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job? I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My Husband didn't say a word...he knew better. SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, I think I like playing with men's balls. THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, No, I'm just looking at your nuts. My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. FOURTH TESTIMONY: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving right now she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night! The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter. FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said No. I kept thinking Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have any clothes with me. Then I said, Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident? No, he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, Danny, did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!! While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! LAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a true story... We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night? Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! __________________ I shoot Amateur Porn. Mostly Black Girls and Some White Gals... My site is www.FreakyDeak.com Check me out! ICQ: 205-608-095

04-06-2006, 09:53 PM	#2
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,970	Those are hilarious..we all do stupid things we regret __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

04-07-2006, 12:04 AM	#3
Bob_cougar Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,935	very well said! as they say, "Less talk, less mistake" __________________

04-07-2006, 03:53 AM	#5
mOrrI It's over there... Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Portugal Posts: 4,212	Now there is something to think about __________________ Get Your Binance Account

04-07-2006, 12:25 PM	#7
Playa-Deak Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Chi-Town Posts: 1,065	Coolio 4sho __________________ I shoot Amateur Porn. Mostly Black Girls and Some White Gals... My site is www.FreakyDeak.com Check me out! ICQ: 205-608-095

04-07-2006, 03:10 AM	#4
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	Lol... those are great. __________________ [email protected]

04-07-2006, 03:58 AM	#6
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	wheres that 8 inches loool

04-07-2006, 12:31 PM	#8
Ross Ik ben een aap Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Traffic Force Towers, Canada! Posts: 18,874	HAHA funny. Gonna mail them to some friends who are at work right now

04-07-2006, 12:37 PM	#9
Deej I make pixels work Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: I live here... Posts: 24,386	The last two are fuckin hilarious __________________ Deej's Designs n' What Not Hit me up for Design, CSS & Photo Retouching Icq#30096880

04-07-2006, 01:23 PM	#10
LittleSassy Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: behind you Posts: 7,402	gotta love kids when they talked back at ya....you can never predict what they're gonna say __________________ Proadultoutsourcing.com ~ version 2.0 OFFSHORE SOLUTIONS PROVIDER SINCE 2003 ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE 264-580-554

04-07-2006, 01:27 PM	#11
Tom_PM Porn Meister Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 16,443	lol those are funny :D __________________ 43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

04-07-2006, 01:30 PM	#12
axelcat Adult Locals Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: West Coast Posts: 25,450

04-07-2006, 01:34 PM	#13
sicone Retired Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Sac Posts: 18,453	good shit __________________

04-07-2006, 02:46 PM	#14
bastardsquad Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Tampa,FL Posts: 529	#4 is just amazing...haha... __________________ - White Label Options – Geotargeted and Dynamic Ads Eroticy Affiliate Manager-ICQ=216379335 AIM=eroticypaulv PaulV(at)Eroticy(dot)com Straight, Gay, and Swing Communities. -Hit me up and let's do business.

04-07-2006, 04:17 PM	#15
iWeb_Iya Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Manila Posts: 1,091	SPEAK without thinking and you'll gonna WALK OUT without looking __________________ Iya Mallorca [email protected] ICQ: 212-175-124 800.934.4942 or +1.408.454.7716 Offshore Staff Leasing Services

04-07-2006, 04:26 PM	#16
Morgan Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Corona Del Mar, CA Posts: 10,520	those are good. hahah __________________ PornstarPlatinum.com \| TransErotica.com

04-07-2006, 05:27 PM	#17
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	hehe..Those are great.. So true that we should always think before we talk..lol __________________ ~Accepting design works~