How do i pickup ladies in the supermarket?

[madawgz]

anyone have any idea?

because i saw the most beautiful girl there but didnt have any lines

[Spunky]

Grab your crotch and say I have a banana for you while you are in the fruit section..works every time

[aHosting]

True love is in the most unlikely places.

Romeo met Juliet at a party. Harry met Sally in a cross-country drive. Lois Lane met Superman at work.

This month, we show you how to find true love at your local supermarket.

A bunch of bananas in the child seat of his shopping trolley signifies that a man is single and searching.
A bunch of bananas in a woman's trolley shows she is single but satisfied.
The sanitary napkins aisle is a great place to find women.
The fruit and vegetable section is a poor place to find single men.
The nappies aisle is a great place to meet single mothers.
The vanilla essence aisle is a great place to meet secret alcoholics.
The pre-prepared frozen dinner cabinet is a great place to find men.
"Can you direct me to the bananas?" is a good pick up line. "Let's do it in the car park" is not.
Never ask a woman to join you in the pre-prepared frozen food cabinet for a quickie.
Buying engine oil shows you love your car. Buying sexual lubricant shows you love it too much.
Asking the checkout chick whether she "fancies a chomp on my banana" can have you arrested. Especially if there are none in your trolley.

One word:cucumber. Need I say more?
Catherine Free
If you meet her in the sanitary napkins aisle, tell her how much more absorbant weetbix is for that "time of the month".
Damien
I went to the supermarket one fateful day, our eyes met across a crouded aisle, and I took her into my arms, and took her home with me. When we got home, I made coffee, stuck her in to oven for 70 minutes, then sliced her open, filled her with butter, and ate her. She was a potato.
Tony Moss
It's not a good idea to buy diarrhea medicine in front of someone you are trying to pick up, especially not if you are buying it in bulk or large quantities. And especially not if you are buying an incredible amount of prune juice with it. But if you feel you must, slip in a few condom packages, and tell the hottie that they can help try them on later while the two of you drink prune juice.
Rosqa the Romanian Gypsy Child
Buy a box of cone icecreams and open it before you get to the checkout. Take out an icecream and lick it slowly while making eye contact with the one you're keen on...in any aisle. Stick the top of the cone in your mouth and don't break the eye contact while slowly moving it in and out of your mouth. Ff this doesn't break the ice...well just keep going...eventually it will. It has to.
Debbie Thomas
Show off your driving skills with a trolley
Richard Emms
Whilst i was doing my daily shopping i came across a large, stiff and hot...carrot. I then had an urge to find the peeler section, which i did -- i found the largest peeler there. I then got my juicy, ripe and dripping...carrot and peeled it slowly in front of one of the delicatessen staff. I watched her slowly, as she became all hot and sticky, and she started making these weird groaning noises... which then became a little overboard so i continued with my shopping. Suddenly i realised that i had been dreaming the whole time whilst i was standing in line. And as i came to my senses i realised that i had shaving my penis with the grater the whole time, and that the latge overweight lady in front of me was the one who was groaning. The End.
The Carrot Man
While living in Port Melbourne a colleage at work suggested that the best way to pick up chicks was singles night at the local Coles Supermarket in Bay Street. Placing a bunch of bananas in the top fold-out part of the trolley indicated your availablity. People actually approaching you as a result of this was entirely up to their discretion. I was never approached.
Travo
A sure way to impress the girls is to hold a bunch of bananas to your crotch, and snicker as you look at them. Then mutter "Not even close are you guys".
Emmerson Bigguns
Go to the ice lollies asile and tell her that you'll give her something juicy and temporarily hard to suck on. trust us, this works, how else do you think we became so satisfied
Mary and Jemma
Never ask a woman if she could show you her cantelopes or melons
Anonymous
Go to the mop and broom aisle and get a broom handle, preferably the thickest one. Then proceed to the produce section and begin eating grapes seductively, letting the juices flow down your chin. If a woman approaches you and responds positively, your in there. If she says something like, "hey your stealing grapes!" hit her with the broom handle and run like hell.
Danny Wayne
I found out the hard way, That if you are interested in a Chick at the supermarket, IT IS NOT in your best intrest to hit her with a sack of Poatoes. *Snifle* She didn't even call me from Intensive care...
Massive Duckjob
When a beautiful women is coming your way, pretend to fall asleep in the aisle. When she tries to wake you, ask her to pinch you because you must be dreaming.
Tommohawk
If you see a top looking sex-bomb coming towards you with her trolley, flag her down. Start conversation with something like you are a mechanic and was wondering if her trolley was a manual or automatic.
Mr McGoo
If you want to start to chat up a good looking girl in the supermarket and use the line: "Havn't we met somewhere before?", make sure you are actually in the supermarket and NOT a VD clinic. Otherwise, results can be quite painful.
Fuajk
Go to the checkout with a pack of condoms and say "Do you come with these or do i have to ring a Number?"
Hung Like (A Horse)
Go to the meat section and say "Could I have a hot beef injection"
solomen bader
Guys, forget the food section and go to the ladies underwear department. Pretend you're a salesman and you specialize in panties. Just before you close the sale, tell her you have to go back and finish your other 2 jobs: watering the flowers and arranging the poetry books. If you don't find true love after trying this a few times, you might as well go back to your wife.
scott quick
Go up to a girl and say "I know there is a set of behaviors one must go through before procreation, but I am unknowledgeable of these behaviors. Could you just assume I did them?"
John Nash
You see a cute man working in the fresh meat dept. Go up to him and tell him. "I like the way you pack your beef"
Teresa blazinbrunette
Don't wear any clothes and see if that attracts anyone. Don't forget to wax.
Alix Elida Nano
Men found in the grapes section are insecure about their body.
Glen Messacar
At the check out say to the guy behind you "Four words: homecooked three course meal." Saves on tranport costs or the need to hang out in bars first
roarty girl - sydney
Follow your cutie to the deli counter and ask most innocently "Blimin 'ell, thats a whopping great frankfurter. You see, I'm making 'toad in the hole' tonight, fancy trying it?" wink*wink
Marry Poppins

Good Luck with this reading

[Hooligan]

help carry their bags?

[madawgz]

Originally Posted by Spunky

Grab your crotch and say I have a banana for you while you are in the fruit section..works every time

okay maybe but im not that outgoing

[Spunky]

Ask them their recipe for something and ask if you could cook it for them sometime

[Hey You . . . I Know You!]

Originally Posted by madawgz

anyone have any idea?

because i saw the most beautiful girl there but didnt have any lines

I always drop my pants and ask her to check if my Zucchini is fresh.



If that doesn't work, I jump in her cart and say, "Don't worry, I'm free!"


That ALWAYS works!

[BVF]

ask her what she's cooking for dinner...once she tells you, complain about how you don't have anybody to cook food for you and then work it from there.

[madawgz]

good ideas good idea

lets see some more

[SirMoby]

The produce section is best place to pickup women any where. I mean everyone is fondling, feeling and sniffing things and that's a good point to work from.

Ask hew for ideas on how to cook something.
Ask what type of salad dressing she recommends for ....
Grab one of your favorite fruits/vegies and start talking "I love these. Do you ever have childhood memories of a special treat? ....."
Ask if this seems to ripe to her.
Notice what she's fondling or has in her cart and offer a favorite recipe of your own.

If you can't meet women in the produce section then you should probably work harder, earn more money and just buy hookers.

[psili]

I've never tried this, cuz I'm too much of a pussy but you could walk up to her (non-stalker like) and say:

"Hello. My name is [insert name here]. What is yours?"

Dunno if that's the right way to put it, but I'd say fuck all the pick-up line shit and just be upfront. If you feel a good vibe, you'll both walk around the supermarket together and talk about crap. If you don't feel a good vibe, you'll both leave the supermarket separately.

If it starts good, you'll both be going to the supermarket together.
If it ends bad, you'll both be feeling sketchy when you see each other at the supermarket.

[BusterBunny]

it's all about showing off the bling and cash

[volante]

The easiest way to get a woman to talk to you in a supermarket is to ask her opinion about something. Start by saying "Hey, I need your opinion on something, it'll only take a second..." then ask a question - "which of these spices do you think would go better in a chicken dish?", "do free range eggs taste better than other types of egg?" etc. Make sure it's a leading question with more than one option to choose from. Wait for her reply, then tell a short funny story about the option she didn't choose - make it up in advance if neccessary, for example "my friend tried that other spice but didn't like it, so he gave the food to his dog. It gave the dog the runs, but fortunately the spice was very aromatic so it didn't smell so bad...".

That'll do as an opener, the rest is up to you.

[woj]

Originally Posted by BusterBunny

it's all about showing off the bling and cash

[elektrikfun]

lick her tits in front of her boyfriend.

[VIPimp]

Ask them about a product...

[eddie-executive]

go in the cologne aftershave isle and ask her opinion on the smell of a certain kind. That isle is usually next to the douches and maxi pads so you'll see women.

[Pure Evil]

hit her in the head with a coconut

[Spunky]

Wait for them in the parking lot and kidnap them

[Scootermuze]

Originally Posted by madawgz

anyone have any idea?

because i saw the most beautiful girl there but didnt have any lines

You just used the best one..

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice you and I would hate myself if I left here knowing I saw the most beautiful girl but I didn't have any lines."

Then go with her response... Keep away from first person comments if you can..

Instead of saying things like, "You are a classy dresser" Say, "I love women that dress with class" .. Then she has to assume and apply thought.. That helps to draw interest...

[CDSmith]

Man, try using a few of the lines mentioned in a supermarket and in no time people will be pointing and whispering "there goes the horny perv, just look at him, he reminds me of Quagmire from Family Guy"

Chicks are generally wary of strange guys coming up out of the blue in public and laying some lameass line on them. You gotta be more suble and creative.

The needing help thing sounds promising, but you can't be so obvious and lame about it. It has to seem like more of a natural occurance that you're talking to her or she'll think you're a stalker.

[loxapinedreams]

wtf... your from montreal.. i thought picking up womem in montreal was easy!

my experience french canadian chicks are the easy women on the planet to score with.

[Hue G. Pness]

Originally Posted by volante

...Wait for her reply, then tell a short funny story about the option she didn't choose - make it up in advance if neccessary, for example "my friend tried that other spice but didn't like it, so he gave the food to his dog. It gave the dog the runs, but fortunately the spice was very aromatic so it didn't smell so bad...".

That'll do as an opener, the rest is up to you.

I doubt talking about runny dog shit that smells like spices will get anyone very far with the ladies.

[juve20]

Originally Posted by Spunky

Grab your crotch and say I have a banana for you while you are in the fruit section..works every time

lol that works ever time for me!

tony

[tranza]

Originally Posted by aHosting

True love is in the most unlikely places.

Romeo met Juliet at a party. Harry met Sally in a cross-country drive. Lois Lane met Superman at work.

This month, we show you how to find true love at your local supermarket.

A bunch of bananas in the child seat of his shopping trolley signifies that a man is single and searching.
A bunch of bananas in a woman's trolley shows she is single but satisfied.
The sanitary napkins aisle is a great place to find women.
The fruit and vegetable section is a poor place to find single men.
The nappies aisle is a great place to meet single mothers.
The vanilla essence aisle is a great place to meet secret alcoholics.
The pre-prepared frozen dinner cabinet is a great place to find men.
"Can you direct me to the bananas?" is a good pick up line. "Let's do it in the car park" is not.
Never ask a woman to join you in the pre-prepared frozen food cabinet for a quickie.
Buying engine oil shows you love your car. Buying sexual lubricant shows you love it too much.
Asking the checkout chick whether she "fancies a chomp on my banana" can have you arrested. Especially if there are none in your trolley.

One word:cucumber. Need I say more?
Catherine Free
If you meet her in the sanitary napkins aisle, tell her how much more absorbant weetbix is for that "time of the month".
Damien
I went to the supermarket one fateful day, our eyes met across a crouded aisle, and I took her into my arms, and took her home with me. When we got home, I made coffee, stuck her in to oven for 70 minutes, then sliced her open, filled her with butter, and ate her. She was a potato.
Tony Moss
It's not a good idea to buy diarrhea medicine in front of someone you are trying to pick up, especially not if you are buying it in bulk or large quantities. And especially not if you are buying an incredible amount of prune juice with it. But if you feel you must, slip in a few condom packages, and tell the hottie that they can help try them on later while the two of you drink prune juice.
Rosqa the Romanian Gypsy Child
Buy a box of cone icecreams and open it before you get to the checkout. Take out an icecream and lick it slowly while making eye contact with the one you're keen on...in any aisle. Stick the top of the cone in your mouth and don't break the eye contact while slowly moving it in and out of your mouth. Ff this doesn't break the ice...well just keep going...eventually it will. It has to.
Debbie Thomas
Show off your driving skills with a trolley
Richard Emms
Whilst i was doing my daily shopping i came across a large, stiff and hot...carrot. I then had an urge to find the peeler section, which i did -- i found the largest peeler there. I then got my juicy, ripe and dripping...carrot and peeled it slowly in front of one of the delicatessen staff. I watched her slowly, as she became all hot and sticky, and she started making these weird groaning noises... which then became a little overboard so i continued with my shopping. Suddenly i realised that i had been dreaming the whole time whilst i was standing in line. And as i came to my senses i realised that i had shaving my penis with the grater the whole time, and that the latge overweight lady in front of me was the one who was groaning. The End.
The Carrot Man
While living in Port Melbourne a colleage at work suggested that the best way to pick up chicks was singles night at the local Coles Supermarket in Bay Street. Placing a bunch of bananas in the top fold-out part of the trolley indicated your availablity. People actually approaching you as a result of this was entirely up to their discretion. I was never approached.
Travo
A sure way to impress the girls is to hold a bunch of bananas to your crotch, and snicker as you look at them. Then mutter "Not even close are you guys".
Emmerson Bigguns
Go to the ice lollies asile and tell her that you'll give her something juicy and temporarily hard to suck on. trust us, this works, how else do you think we became so satisfied
Mary and Jemma
Never ask a woman if she could show you her cantelopes or melons
Anonymous
Go to the mop and broom aisle and get a broom handle, preferably the thickest one. Then proceed to the produce section and begin eating grapes seductively, letting the juices flow down your chin. If a woman approaches you and responds positively, your in there. If she says something like, "hey your stealing grapes!" hit her with the broom handle and run like hell.
Danny Wayne
I found out the hard way, That if you are interested in a Chick at the supermarket, IT IS NOT in your best intrest to hit her with a sack of Poatoes. *Snifle* She didn't even call me from Intensive care...
Massive Duckjob
When a beautiful women is coming your way, pretend to fall asleep in the aisle. When she tries to wake you, ask her to pinch you because you must be dreaming.
Tommohawk
If you see a top looking sex-bomb coming towards you with her trolley, flag her down. Start conversation with something like you are a mechanic and was wondering if her trolley was a manual or automatic.
Mr McGoo
If you want to start to chat up a good looking girl in the supermarket and use the line: "Havn't we met somewhere before?", make sure you are actually in the supermarket and NOT a VD clinic. Otherwise, results can be quite painful.
Fuajk
Go to the checkout with a pack of condoms and say "Do you come with these or do i have to ring a Number?"
Hung Like (A Horse)
Go to the meat section and say "Could I have a hot beef injection"
solomen bader
Guys, forget the food section and go to the ladies underwear department. Pretend you're a salesman and you specialize in panties. Just before you close the sale, tell her you have to go back and finish your other 2 jobs: watering the flowers and arranging the poetry books. If you don't find true love after trying this a few times, you might as well go back to your wife.
scott quick
Go up to a girl and say "I know there is a set of behaviors one must go through before procreation, but I am unknowledgeable of these behaviors. Could you just assume I did them?"
John Nash
You see a cute man working in the fresh meat dept. Go up to him and tell him. "I like the way you pack your beef"
Teresa blazinbrunette
Don't wear any clothes and see if that attracts anyone. Don't forget to wax.
Alix Elida Nano
Men found in the grapes section are insecure about their body.
Glen Messacar
At the check out say to the guy behind you "Four words: homecooked three course meal." Saves on tranport costs or the need to hang out in bars first
roarty girl - sydney
Follow your cutie to the deli counter and ask most innocently "Blimin 'ell, thats a whopping great frankfurter. You see, I'm making 'toad in the hole' tonight, fancy trying it?" wink*wink
Marry Poppins

Good Luck with this reading

You really think someone read that?

[jade_dragon]

All those assume that the woman know something about cooking, this is not the 1960's where almost every woman you run into are experts on domestic issues. Walk up to her with some confidence and tell her that you think she is attractive and would like to get to know her, she will either say yes or no based upon her opinion gathered from your tone, dress, confidence and level of attraction IF she is available. This is the reason you do not go walking around looking like you just got out of bed, you NEVER know what opprotunities will come across you while walking around.

The distraction tactics of asking her questions are not that bad though, they will allow her to put down her socially acceptable anti man pickup wall for long enough for you to make more of an impression on her, that is the ONLY reason I would even think about asking what she thought about this or that. I would feel her out first, does she look like she is going to allow you to use that to break the ice? Do not assume you are the player here, she could very well be allowing you to use that so that she can keep her accepted anti pressure tactics. Of course most stores have signs on how to pick produce and/or how to cook it so ask with caution, she might have liked you till you didn't just walk up to her like a man and state your intentions and instead asked her a question that was plain as day on a sign over the produce....

[madawgz]

thanks for all the tips going to try some next time if i see someone`

[tristan_D]

bump them in the ass with your cart

[aico]

Tell her she better get out of the frozen foods aisle before she melts all this stuff... I've seen this work

[Mr.Right - Banned For Life]

Originally Posted by Spunky

Grab your crotch and say I have a banana for you while you are in the fruit section..works every time

[nico-t]

Originally Posted by Hue G. Pness

I doubt talking about runny dog shit that smells like spices will get anyone very far with the ladies.

[PixeLs]

Got his contact number?

[BusterBunny]

+
+

[volante]

Originally Posted by Hue G. Pness

I doubt talking about runny dog shit that smells like spices will get anyone very far with the ladies.

It will if you can make her laugh - it's not the words you say it's how you say them. A friend of mine likes to approach women in nightclubs and say "so, do you take it up the shitter or what?". He always has a huge grin on his face when he says it and 90% of the women laugh.

The other 10% throw things.

[alec]

Pay their stuff.

[d_train]

tell her to stay away from the frozen food section or her boobs might freeze

[maxxx_fucktor]

invite her and pretend that it's your birthday.

[madawgz]

lol thanks these are jokes

[DanielS]

Follow her, get 1 of the same products she's buying, ask her how she cook or prepare that food. Then tell her how you do that (invent), you could be taking cooking classes, etc. She will laugh, then tell her you will be glad to cook for her some day. Keep the conversation and make her laugh. If you're lucky you'll get her number at the end.

[Doctor Dre]

Ask her questions about food and cooking... something like that