Laughing Fun - GoFuckYourself.com

cool1 · 03-31-2006, 04:34 PM

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday.

Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail.

Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wilmington Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said Officer Taylor.

"I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. He just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said,

A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?"

cool1 · 03-31-2006, 04:34 PM

My Son is More Successful than yours!

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning.

One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact; in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

cool1 · 03-31-2006, 04:59 PM

The President of Acme Toothbrushes is packing up his files and papers in anticipation of his Friday afternoon round of golf, when suddenly his desk intercom buzzes.

"There's a gentleman here to see you, sir," his secretary says. "He's here for the sales position."

Grumbling unhappily, the President tells the secretary to send the man in. In walks this man who is short, ugly, balding, and speaking with a strange harelip. "I'm here for the job," he says.

"Fine" says the President. "You have a one week trial period. Pick up the toothbrushes outside." With that, he leaves.

One week later, the short man shows up again. "Well?" says the CEO.

"Not so good, sir. I only sold 5 toothbrushes. But give me one more week! I'll do better! I'll be the best damn salesman in your company!"

"Fine. Go and sell them then."

The following week, the short man shows up at the office again and proclaims, "I sold 2,000 toothbrushes!"

"What?! How did you do that?"

"Well, it was quite simple. I went to the airport, you see, and I set up a table for the people coming off the plane. I had a bowl of chips at one end, toothbrushes in the middle and dip at the other end.

They would take a chip, walk past the toothbrushes, and get some dip. I'd ask them, 'How's the dip?' and they'd say, 'It tastes like SHIT!' And I'd say, 'It is! Want to buy a toothbrush?'"

Myst · 03-31-2006, 06:15 PM

ban this sigwhore please

03-31-2006, 04:34 PM	#1
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Laughing Fun Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wilmington Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Davidson) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. He just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?" __________________

03-31-2006, 04:34 PM	#2
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	My Son is More Successful than yours! These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. "My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact; in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift." The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift." The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift. As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. "To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates." __________________

03-31-2006, 04:59 PM	#3
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	The President of Acme Toothbrushes is packing up his files and papers in anticipation of his Friday afternoon round of golf, when suddenly his desk intercom buzzes. "There's a gentleman here to see you, sir," his secretary says. "He's here for the sales position." Grumbling unhappily, the President tells the secretary to send the man in. In walks this man who is short, ugly, balding, and speaking with a strange harelip. "I'm here for the job," he says. "Fine" says the President. "You have a one week trial period. Pick up the toothbrushes outside." With that, he leaves. One week later, the short man shows up again. "Well?" says the CEO. "Not so good, sir. I only sold 5 toothbrushes. But give me one more week! I'll do better! I'll be the best damn salesman in your company!" "Fine. Go and sell them then." The following week, the short man shows up at the office again and proclaims, "I sold 2,000 toothbrushes!" "What?! How did you do that?" "Well, it was quite simple. I went to the airport, you see, and I set up a table for the people coming off the plane. I had a bowl of chips at one end, toothbrushes in the middle and dip at the other end. They would take a chip, walk past the toothbrushes, and get some dip. I'd ask them, 'How's the dip?' and they'd say, 'It tastes like SHIT!' And I'd say, 'It is! Want to buy a toothbrush?'" __________________

03-31-2006, 06:15 PM	#4
Myst Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Alberta, Canada Posts: 4,708	ban this sigwhore please __________________ ICQ: 298-523-037