It's official - I am fucking retarded

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  • KingK7
    Confirmed User
    • Jun 2002
    • 6372

    #1

    It's official - I am fucking retarded

    So I went out on the balcony today, coke in one hand, cigs in the other, then gently pushed the sliding glass doors. Next thing I know I am locked out, without my phone, and the sun if frying me.

    My girlfriend and baby at her parents, so I had nobody to let me in. Then I spent 20 minutes trying to get in the same door, to no avail. Fucking spanish retards building this, I would like someone shot.

    Then I sit in the sun, and figure it was a bad idea to drink those 4 cokes before I went out ( coke-aholic ). Wondering if I was gonna piss in the ashtray.

    As I am about to pass out, I finally decide to check the other sliding glass door, and it turns out to be OPEN.

    Now I know how those people in "Alive" felt. Well, at least I got a nice tan out of the whole ordeal. And I got to yell at my girlfriend why she did not come home sooner. It's pretty much HER fault as I figure it now.
  • Kimmykim
    bitchslapping zebras!!!!!
    • Jun 2001
    • 16015

    #2
    Roflmao!

    Comment

    • BAKO
      https://traffichaus.com/
      • Jul 2005
      • 18478

      #3
      So Funny me and my homie got a kick out of it
      Global Traffic Acquisition & Monetization
      Telegram: @bakokaye

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      • KingK7
        Confirmed User
        • Jun 2002
        • 6372

        #4
        Yeah, its funny NOW, but my bitch ass was crying my heart out on that balcony.

        Comment

        • chadglni
          Confirmed User
          • Dec 2002
          • 6924

          #5


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          • CyberHustler
            Masterbaiter
            • Feb 2006
            • 28750

            #6
            its always HER fault
            “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

            Comment

            • Nicky
              Too lazy to set a custom title
              • Mar 2003
              • 30071

              #7
              So your other door was open? you only tried 1 door when you had 2?

              gfynicky @ gmail.com

              Comment

              • minusonebit
                So Fucking Banned
                • Feb 2006
                • 7391

                #8
                hah, too funny. I would have just broke the glass. Did that once when I locked myself out of the car. Just sucked it up and punched out a window.

                Comment

                • d_train
                  Confirmed User
                  • Jun 2005
                  • 1527

                  #9
                  we've all had those awful moments. its just nice to laugh at them
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                  • Peter_ANYwebcam
                    Confirmed User
                    • Jan 2006
                    • 437

                    #10
                    Thats pretty funny dude, your correct of course, it's her fault! LMAO

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                    • Stallion
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jan 2001
                      • 6632

                      #11
                      damn that sucks.
                      Project Manager/Program Manager/Webmaster Seeking Work

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                      • Sosa
                        In Tushy Land
                        • Oct 2002
                        • 40149

                        #12
                        wow man. that would fucking suck lol.

                        Comment

                        • alec
                          Confirmed User
                          • Jun 2005
                          • 1877

                          #13
                          Not exactly the same case but I can say I've been on several stupid scenarios as well..

                          Comment

                          • reynold
                            Too lazy to set a custom title
                            • Oct 2002
                            • 51271

                            #14
                            Originally posted by chadglni

                            inspired by the official manowar tribute thread!

                            Comment

                            • Doctor Dre
                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                              • Jan 2001
                              • 51692

                              #15
                              I woulda broke the glass a long time ago.
                              Originally posted by rayadp05
                              I rebooted, deleted temp files, history, cookies and everything...still cannot view the news clip. All I see is that fucking gay ass music video from "Rick Roll". Anyone else have a different link to the news clip?

                              Comment

                              • Phil
                                Confirmed User
                                • Jan 2004
                                • 7659

                                #16
                                CHILE MOMEDIA COMIN NEVER
                                Ask Phil

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                                • PixeLs
                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                  • Jul 2005
                                  • 11922

                                  #17
                                  You prolly toasted your balls seriously there..

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                                  • Bob_cougar
                                    Confirmed User
                                    • Jun 2005
                                    • 1935

                                    #18
                                    It's pretty much HER fault as I figure it now.
                                    you can always pass the blame to somebody else!

                                    Comment

                                    • KingK7
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Jun 2002
                                      • 6372

                                      #19
                                      Got a nice little sunburn today

                                      Comment

                                      • HomerSimpson
                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                        • Sep 2005
                                        • 13826

                                        #20
                                        now you will NEVER close that sliding door behind you...

                                        btw: oil from this plant "hypericum perforatum" (latin name since I can't find the right word in english) is great for sun burns (and other kinds of burns) but it stinks like shit... but after 2-3 uses it will solve the problem... so you can visit some pharmacy store and get one
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                                        • Drake
                                          Hello world!
                                          • Mar 2003
                                          • 12508

                                          #21
                                          Damn, they shouldn't make it possible to lock yourself out like that from the balcony side.

                                          I know the feeling though. First day I moved into my first house, I locked myself out of it.

                                          Comment

                                          • Downtime
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • May 2004
                                            • 7320

                                            #22
                                            haha i've done shit like that before
                                            #27024067

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                                            • martinsc
                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                              • Jun 2005
                                              • 27047

                                              #23
                                              Make Money

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                                              • OY
                                                Industry Pioneer
                                                • Oct 2002
                                                • 5401

                                                #24
                                                ROFLMAO tulling
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                                                • Peaches
                                                  Old broad
                                                  • Oct 2002
                                                  • 13933

                                                  #25
                                                  Welcome to parenthood. Those babies suck the common sense out of your head faster than a stripper ;)

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Ross
                                                    Ik ben een aap
                                                    • Sep 2002
                                                    • 18874

                                                    #26
                                                    Yes you are retarded, and even more so if you seriously did yell at your girlfriend. I'd bitch slap your ass!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • XxXotic
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Jun 2002
                                                      • 8500

                                                      #27
                                                      definitely her fault!
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                                                      • G-Rotica
                                                        Confirmed User
                                                        • Aug 2005
                                                        • 4258

                                                        #28
                                                        too damn funny

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