Dude yer fucked up ya shoulda thought about the consequences b4

:( .......

be thankful you have a choice.

Dude, don't come here for advice. Who gives a shit what the majority of the people on this board have to say when it comes to your lifes personal issues. Deal with your girlfriend and if you need to, some close friends away from the Intraweb. You are being called names because you choose to have her abort, nobody knows the real story as to why you are not ready to have a child. Keep your personal shit personal and off the damn boards, christ, what do you think you are going to get from most of these folks anyway? lol.

I personally can't imagine going the abortion route, but everyone is different. For me it would be a problem because I'd never be able to brush aside the fact over the years and decades to come that the kid should be there.

A few years would pass and I'd think about how he/she would be talking. Several years later how I should be sitting at their little league games. Summer of their would be 18th year I'd think about how I should be at their high school graduation. Stuff like that.

in SOME states.

I don't know if you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth or something, but not all poor people's lives are a living hell. People who grow up in an environment where there isn't a lot of money can be just as happy as the wealthy people down the street.

I was raised by a single mother who was a waitress during the evening hours. The fact is that I am from a situation where some mothers abort their kid.

And no, I don't think I would have been better off dead than not being born at all.

That's being dismissive of a lot of good-hearted, sympathetic and well-intentioned advice that's been said by several people here in this thread. You're only zoning in on the purely negative.

I think he's received some pretty thoughtful responses...there will always be those who name call and are negative, but those are the consequences when one posts a very intimate problem on a public board.

And, many have very strong opinions about this particular subject. I think it's remained pretty civilised, for the most part.

My point is that his personal shit does not belong on a msg board. I'm sure that his girlfriend would be ecstatic that he has come to the GFY community with something so personal as this. If it's support he's looking for there are other forums for this type of thing..GFY isn't one of them IMO. This thread should not be a debate on who is pro and who is not. I am not knocking the comments and statements made by those that have something legit to say, however, I believe that he needs to work this out with his gf.

good luck.

Some people come to regard a message forum that they frequently participate in as a comfortable environment with people they become familiar with over time.

Personally, I wouldn't have gone public with the matter myself...but that's just me. I tend to work things out for myself or talk it over with close friends or family. But that said, I can certainly understand why someone would choose to reach out to whatever forum they feel most comfortable communicating with. Can't fault him for that.

As Raven pointed out, for the most part the thread remained quite civilised given the topic. Yep, there was some debate both pro and con - but there was also several empathetic and understanding posts that simply offered neutral suggestions and supportive advice.

I don't usually get involved in these kinds of overly personal threads, but this particular topic hits home for me. I've walked the same mile in those shoes in the past.

Fucking baby killer.

carma will get you...

It's too bad it's too late to abort you. Because my fuck are you ever stupid.

As others have said, I think abortion should be a last resort, used only when the circumstances are extreme.

Fucking someone without a condom is not one of those. Every time you have sex, you have to be prepared for a possible pregnancy.

If she is prepared to carry it to term then why not consider adoption?

One thing I noticed... you chose to call her "Female" rather than "Girlfriend" or "Wife"

I was going to make a joke suggesting she might be content you got a bit friendly with, but looking at www.studiocontent.com that doesn't seem too likely. :1orglaugh

Hi, Sherie....that is, indeed, a valid point...but who knows why people post personal shit on boards, really? Fact is, they do..and maybe, just maybe, they are looking for that one objective opinion, phrased in such a way, as to help them think things through....

In all truth, though....he has received some good support and valid responses....

And, I agree, he needs to work this out with the woman who is pregnant....

This is a tough road for anyone.

Subtext: Please tell me you want our baby and don't let me end this.

That there tells me she's already "looking" for someone or something to stop her doing it/talk her out of it, even if she doesn't consciously recognise that fact herself yet.

If she goes ahead I'd be highly surprised if your relationship survives it once the regret starts in, and the blame for not stopping her, and indeed for not wanting your baby and encourging her to end it starts to eat away.

It's your choice, people can say what they want but ultimatly it's up to you and you'll be connected to this girl the rest of your life. If it's still the first trimester then you're not killing anything, do what you feel is right.

Are you sure it's yours? :winkwink: :winkwink:

http://www.msprotege.com/members/Lin...ned/owned4.JPG

damn dude

Wow, not easy at all... whatever you do

Reading that brought tears to my eyes. Ok, so they are running down my cheeks now :(

So true, my wife (was my g/f at the time) and I had only been dating like a month when she got pregnant and had an abortion. Over the years it has caused fights with us and we think about it all the time. Worst decision we ever made imho. Now I am unable to have children and that was my only chance at being a dad. Think about it long and hard xenigo.

:( cheer up miracles happen..

Very valid point though, one persons tough problem is someone else's deepest wish. I imagine i would be LIVID hearing things like this if i couldnt have a child..

holy smolies , that sucks.. sorry to hear.. dont give up hope though , doctors can be wrong..

Good luck.
And don't forget the woman always makes the final cut.

You fucked her, got her pregnant and now want to cry about it.

There is nothing to think about... be a man and step up to your responsibilities. If you are to much of a loser to support your child then plenty of people are out there to adopt it.

Cry me a fuckin river

Posts like this are what renew my faith that there ARE people here on GFY who can offer genuine insight in to personal issues. While I'm saddened for Max's situation, I think relating it here is one of the best words of wisdom anyone can possibly share.

Max - have you and the missus considered adopting? Some folks consider adoption an even more noble endeavour - raising an existing child that might not otherwise have a great life.

Real deep thinking there, newb. Run along now - I hear the popsicle truck just around the corner.

Yes we have considered adopting. My wife is going back through school right now so its not on the agenda at the moment. There is also a long running joke that we should adopt and 18 year old so I would leave my wife alone :)

Hopefully my post will help xenigo think a little about the future instead of just the present.

If you really feel that you can't take care of a child, then put it up for adoption. There are plenty of wonderful couples that are waiting 3 or more years to adopt a new-born child. Don't murder the kid just because you can't handle it.... a new-born in the US can have a wonderful life with parents that will love and care for the child totally. I understand not wanting to keep it, but you should contact some adoption agencies and see what they say IMHO

Pro choice, but make sure you make the right one. Things will probably change after this..

Again, not to be insensitive - but look at it from the aspect that perhaps (and I stress 'perhaps') if you had gone ahead and had a child earlier, your wife might not be in a position to continue her education. Fate's way of making things work out.

Kind've a glass half-full perspective.

Okay Woody Allen :winkwink:

(jk'ing)

Sounds like a page outta MY book, lol.

One thing I'd be worried about is this... You always hear about people aborting because they don't have the money to raise the kid. Each time they think about the kid they aborted, they can justify it because they are still poor. However once they become financially stable, then what? The reasons for aborting are no longer there, and I'm guessing these people start to question pretty heavily their past decision.

True enough. By why second-guess a decision that was made based on the circumstances at that particular time? Times change...but that doesn't erase the facts of the past.

LOL I was definitly not born with a silverspoon. I've just seen first hand what what can happen when 2 people arent ready to sacrifice the next 18 years of their life for the well being of a child. If the kid is brought into the world as unplanned or with just a small feeling of resentment, those feelings can multiply over the years, blame is used for ones unhappiness, that unhappiness
is like a cancer that eventually consumes the whole family. Mom and dad split the kid grows up with no adult guidance because mom is working all the time. Dad starts skipping his weekends. The kid is basically left to fend for themselves, usually hanging with other kids in the same situation, remember, water seeks its own level. A bored kid with no support system at home is a recipe for disaster. Statistics have proven this.

From the momment that child is born 'till the momment they leave the house, its the parents job to prepare that kid for the rest of its life. Im sure my point of view isn't always popular but I think its one we would all want our parents to have had.

wow.. which ever way you go.. good luck to you & her!