GotGauge

I just found this handy tool to clean the inside of your computer screen. Just move your cursor around to get all the dirt and grime off.

It will remove any stains, spills, most anything that has accumulated on the inside of your screen.

http://mirrored.flabber.nl/boob.cursor/ciagnijcycka.swf



MIND GAMES
http://www.patmedia.net/marklevinson..._illusion.html


This is the Pilot I want flying my plane whenever I travel.

http://www.barry.fireflyinternet.co....iles/pilot.htm


VOTED BEST SHORT JOKE OF 2005

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a
10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give
you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 &
your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can
afford it."

The next day the father saw little Patrick heading
out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked,
"Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told him,
"I was walking past your room last night and heard you
telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her
tell you to wait because she was coming too. And
I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a
$280,000 mortgage & no bike!"





Subject: The joys of having boys


The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...

Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep. (note to all the engineers - the math does not work on this one)

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke.......lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) The spin cycle on the washing machine will, however,make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,with or without kids.

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical.

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control




The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC.."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

__________________


ICQ 22264474
[email protected]

reed_4

this one really is good. thanks for sharing man.

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reynold

this is a very nice thread. makes a lot of sense... thank you for sharing!

PussyTeenies

thanks.. great stuff to wake up with

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