Review: The Fleshlight vs. The Hand - GoFuckYourself.com

rankscom · 02-27-2006, 06:36 PM

Juicy was nice enough to send me a Fleshlight last month, and I thought I'd do him proud and post my honest review for all you GFY pervs!!

Intro

So last month I had the urge to review a bunch of male masterbation toys for some perverted reason and feature those reviews in my next article. I had everything from a pump that simulates a blowjob, a rubber mouth with a revolving tongue, a few different sleeves, and of course the recently famous Freshlight. I gotta say that I was pretty excited about the potential here. Several hundred dollars in plastic pussy, you can imagine why. I felt like Ron Jeremy on christmas!

The actual testing of these toys was far less exciting, and it completely changed the vision of this artcile. Every toy I used was not only worthless, most did more harm than good. I nearly got my penis stuck in the oral sex pump. The vibrating rotating tongue was shit. The sleeves were fine, but boring. Every toy sucked, except for the Fleshlight. This thing felt awesome and was the only one to earn repeated use. So after a few weeks of use, I kept asking myself... what's better? This new flashlight looking pussy thing, or the convenience of my own hand. So here's the better review where I simply compare my experience with the Fleshlight vs. choken it freestyle!

How's it Feel?

This almost goes without saying. The main reason the Fleshlight has been so successful is the engineering behind this virtual pussy. It looks the part, and definitely feels the part. I was delivered the standard "Pink Lady" insert btw, and although it doesn't beat the real thing, it's really fuckin close. The insert even looks the part so it's a bit easier to get a hard-on vs. staring at the palm of your hand. The overall size of the Fleshlight is on the large size, but it's not too heavy or anything.

The first time using the light was definitely the most memorable. The feeling is amazing that it's almost like fucking again for the first time (I think it lasted 2 minutes tops). It's not too loose and just tight enough. If you stick your fingers inside, it's just as strange as the real thing. Strange to the fingers, pleasureable as hell to the penis. I used it a few more times privately and even had my fiance get me off using it when it was that time of the month. She said her arm hurt after a while, but what's a little pain for a lot of pleasure.

Winner: The Fleshlight

Convenience

This is the biggest knock against this great product. In fact, it seems to be the main problem with any sex toy for guys. If you watch their instructional video on their web-site, they make it seem to easy. Unpack the light, soak it in hot water, let it dry, lube it up, start stroking! This seemed easy enough, but getting off shouldn't take longer than cooking a tv dinner. Even after I cleaned it thoroughly after use (which is the last thing chore I want after shooing a load), it still had this unattractive rubber-like stench to it (even out of the box) that wouldn't go away. Plastic or real, I just can't fuck a smelly pussy! So I would have the need to soak it in water everytime just before using it.

The maintenance of the Fleshlight is definitely a bitch and for a lazy guy like me, it could be a deal breaker. The only way I would use this regularly is if they made a shampoo bottle shaped pussy so I could use it and store it discreetly in my shower and conveniently keep it sanitary.

Winner: The Hand

Other Thoughts

There are definitely opinions I've read about the other Fleshlight inserts. Some are tighter, some have diffferent textures, etc. If this thing was self-cleaning, I would probably own every insert. I can only imagine how crazy they went to make it pleasureable. I definitely wish I had more inserts to try out, but in the end I don't think it would affect my review much.

One thing I also noticed was if I didn't let it dry after soaking (prior to use), water would drip everywhere. The lubricant also was a little messy at times since sitting or laying down means the lubricant can drip if you're not careful.

Does it realy emulate a flash light? This is a great concept, but it's obviously not meant to. It's a fairly cheap plastic casing, so don't expect to be wow'ed by it's exterior. The flashlight appearance of it is a gimic, but still useful since if mom came to visit she probably wouldn't guess it's actually a rubber pussy laying around the house.

Final Verdict

If I were a single man, those Fleshlight inserts would sure make a dent in my wallet. In fact, as I think about this product, it's definitely made more for the single guy versus someone with virtually unlimited access to the real thing. Even though I'm practically married, I love to masterbate still, but I prefer more of a quick jerk here and there. So for me, the negatives I mention above do outweight the positive. My hand doesn't feel as real, but it still feels good enough to get me off without the extra maintenance.

As a sex toy for guys, this really is the best available that I know of (especially in this price range) and I still give it my recommendation. Don't let my review discourage you from giving it a shot. Cuz when it comes down to it, it feels fuckin awesome! My fleshlight might accumulate some dust once in a while, but when the girl is out of town or the hand is getting old, it's on like donkey kong bitch!

Winner: The Hand

original article posted at: http://www.thebestporn.com/articles_output.html?id=20

JoeMeca · 02-27-2006, 06:53 PM

wow

lol took some time there

Ramos · 02-27-2006, 06:53 PM

and rankscom has spoken

Aly · 02-27-2006, 07:14 PM

...OMG...

woj · 02-27-2006, 07:24 PM

heh, nice review

FreeHugeMovies · 02-27-2006, 07:42 PM

pics?!?!!?!??!

Persignup Dustin · 02-27-2006, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreeHugeMovies

pics?!?!!?!??!

NO!!!!

Pornwolf · 02-27-2006, 07:47 PM

That is a thourough review. Now all they need is a gay review for the sphincter sized fleshlight.

sniperwolf · 02-27-2006, 07:53 PM

Interesting but pretty long to read man.... I made a short cut to the last statement..

PixeLs · 02-27-2006, 07:56 PM

Nice campaign ad.

Spunky · 02-27-2006, 07:58 PM

I gotta try one of those things one day,lol

Ramos · 02-27-2006, 08:00 PM

#1 Male Sex Toy

Check Out Fleshlights, if ya haven't

*get approved instantly*

Donny · 02-27-2006, 08:00 PM

As I wrote in my latest blog entry, sometimes one's fleshlight can actually get them laid.

Downtime · 02-27-2006, 08:00 PM

lol all i can say is "wow"

Donny · 02-27-2006, 08:01 PM

Ramos, hit me up on ICQ please.

02-27-2006, 08:03 PM

kickass article yo!!!

Chris · 02-27-2006, 08:04 PM

hmmm
guess i should hit aly up sence ya guys are doing product reviews now unlike when I hit her up before

King Adam · 02-27-2006, 08:05 PM

I actually thought that was a pretty good review. I would agree almost exactly.

Here's a tip for cleaning. Just take it on the shower with you and squirt some soap in there and finger it like a crazy man. Its not the big of deal to clean it in the shower since you are already cleaning your ass.

Then when you get out, let it dry and when its done sprinkle a little corn startch on it and its as good as new.

Ramos · 02-27-2006, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donny

Ramos, hit me up on ICQ please.

I updated to the latest trillian edition and now it won't work

email me yo

rankscom · 02-27-2006, 09:05 PM

thanks for the comments yo! LOL

reynold · 02-27-2006, 11:40 PM

you actually took the time to make a comparative analysis between the hand and the fleshlight. nice writing! your work must be published.

too bad, fleshlight did not win.

xxxice · 02-27-2006, 11:44 PM

Good info

02-27-2006, 06:53 PM	#3
Ramos Custom User Title Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 11,927	and rankscom has spoken __________________ blewit.com - Performance & Pleasure Training For Men.

02-27-2006, 07:14 PM	#4
Aly President, ePufferProfits Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,881	...OMG... __________________ . . Aly's ICQ: 51504163 . Aly's Email: [email protected]

02-27-2006, 07:24 PM	#5
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	heh, nice review __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

02-27-2006, 07:47 PM	#8
Pornwolf Drunk and Unruly Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 22,712	That is a thourough review. Now all they need is a gay review for the sphincter sized fleshlight. __________________ I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches.

02-27-2006, 07:53 PM	#9
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	Interesting but pretty long to read man.... I made a short cut to the last statement.. __________________ ~Accepting design works~

02-27-2006, 06:36 PM	#1
rankscom Rick Moby Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Henderson, NV Posts: 433	Review: The Fleshlight vs. The Hand Juicy was nice enough to send me a Fleshlight last month, and I thought I'd do him proud and post my honest review for all you GFY pervs!! Intro So last month I had the urge to review a bunch of male masterbation toys for some perverted reason and feature those reviews in my next article. I had everything from a pump that simulates a blowjob, a rubber mouth with a revolving tongue, a few different sleeves, and of course the recently famous Freshlight. I gotta say that I was pretty excited about the potential here. Several hundred dollars in plastic pussy, you can imagine why. I felt like Ron Jeremy on christmas! The actual testing of these toys was far less exciting, and it completely changed the vision of this artcile. Every toy I used was not only worthless, most did more harm than good. I nearly got my penis stuck in the oral sex pump. The vibrating rotating tongue was shit. The sleeves were fine, but boring. Every toy sucked, except for the Fleshlight. This thing felt awesome and was the only one to earn repeated use. So after a few weeks of use, I kept asking myself... what's better? This new flashlight looking pussy thing, or the convenience of my own hand. So here's the better review where I simply compare my experience with the Fleshlight vs. choken it freestyle! How's it Feel? This almost goes without saying. The main reason the Fleshlight has been so successful is the engineering behind this virtual pussy. It looks the part, and definitely feels the part. I was delivered the standard "Pink Lady" insert btw, and although it doesn't beat the real thing, it's really fuckin close. The insert even looks the part so it's a bit easier to get a hard-on vs. staring at the palm of your hand. The overall size of the Fleshlight is on the large size, but it's not too heavy or anything. The first time using the light was definitely the most memorable. The feeling is amazing that it's almost like fucking again for the first time (I think it lasted 2 minutes tops). It's not too loose and just tight enough. If you stick your fingers inside, it's just as strange as the real thing. Strange to the fingers, pleasureable as hell to the penis. I used it a few more times privately and even had my fiance get me off using it when it was that time of the month. She said her arm hurt after a while, but what's a little pain for a lot of pleasure. Winner: The Fleshlight Convenience This is the biggest knock against this great product. In fact, it seems to be the main problem with any sex toy for guys. If you watch their instructional video on their web-site, they make it seem to easy. Unpack the light, soak it in hot water, let it dry, lube it up, start stroking! This seemed easy enough, but getting off shouldn't take longer than cooking a tv dinner. Even after I cleaned it thoroughly after use (which is the last thing chore I want after shooing a load), it still had this unattractive rubber-like stench to it (even out of the box) that wouldn't go away. Plastic or real, I just can't fuck a smelly pussy! So I would have the need to soak it in water everytime just before using it. The maintenance of the Fleshlight is definitely a bitch and for a lazy guy like me, it could be a deal breaker. The only way I would use this regularly is if they made a shampoo bottle shaped pussy so I could use it and store it discreetly in my shower and conveniently keep it sanitary. Winner: The Hand Other Thoughts There are definitely opinions I've read about the other Fleshlight inserts. Some are tighter, some have diffferent textures, etc. If this thing was self-cleaning, I would probably own every insert. I can only imagine how crazy they went to make it pleasureable. I definitely wish I had more inserts to try out, but in the end I don't think it would affect my review much. One thing I also noticed was if I didn't let it dry after soaking (prior to use), water would drip everywhere. The lubricant also was a little messy at times since sitting or laying down means the lubricant can drip if you're not careful. Does it realy emulate a flash light? This is a great concept, but it's obviously not meant to. It's a fairly cheap plastic casing, so don't expect to be wow'ed by it's exterior. The flashlight appearance of it is a gimic, but still useful since if mom came to visit she probably wouldn't guess it's actually a rubber pussy laying around the house. Final Verdict If I were a single man, those Fleshlight inserts would sure make a dent in my wallet. In fact, as I think about this product, it's definitely made more for the single guy versus someone with virtually unlimited access to the real thing. Even though I'm practically married, I love to masterbate still, but I prefer more of a quick jerk here and there. So for me, the negatives I mention above do outweight the positive. My hand doesn't feel as real, but it still feels good enough to get me off without the extra maintenance. As a sex toy for guys, this really is the best available that I know of (especially in this price range) and I still give it my recommendation. Don't let my review discourage you from giving it a shot. Cuz when it comes down to it, it feels fuckin awesome! My fleshlight might accumulate some dust once in a while, but when the girl is out of town or the hand is getting old, it's on like donkey kong bitch! Winner: The Hand original article posted at: http://www.thebestporn.com/articles_output.html?id=20 __________________ MyPorn.com - Porn's most anticipated free site of tomorrow. Coming Q4, 2015.

02-27-2006, 06:53 PM	#2
JoeMeca So Fucking Banned Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Juicy's House! Icq: 265529404 Posts: 2,266	wow lol took some time there

02-27-2006, 07:42 PM	#6
FreeHugeMovies Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 14,137	pics?!?!!?!??!

02-27-2006, 07:56 PM	#10
PixeLs Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 11,922	Nice campaign ad. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

02-27-2006, 07:58 PM	#11
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	I gotta try one of those things one day,lol __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

02-27-2006, 08:00 PM	#12
Ramos Custom User Title Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 11,927	#1 Male Sex Toy Check Out Fleshlights, if ya haven't get approved instantly __________________ blewit.com - Performance & Pleasure Training For Men.

02-27-2006, 08:00 PM	#13
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	As I wrote in my latest blog entry, sometimes one's fleshlight can actually get them laid.

02-27-2006, 08:00 PM	#14
Downtime Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2004 Location: America. Posts: 7,320	lol all i can say is "wow" __________________ #27024067

02-27-2006, 08:01 PM	#15
Donny As you wish... Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 13,754	Ramos, hit me up on ICQ please.

02-27-2006, 08:03 PM	#16
buddyjuf Guest Posts: n/a	kickass article yo!!!

02-27-2006, 08:04 PM	#17
Chris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: icq: 71462500 Skype: Jupzchris Posts: 27,880	hmmm guess i should hit aly up sence ya guys are doing product reviews now unlike when I hit her up before __________________ [email protected]

02-27-2006, 08:05 PM	#18
King Adam Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Valley of the Sun Posts: 5,408	I actually thought that was a pretty good review. I would agree almost exactly. Here's a tip for cleaning. Just take it on the shower with you and squirt some soap in there and finger it like a crazy man. Its not the big of deal to clean it in the shower since you are already cleaning your ass. Then when you get out, let it dry and when its done sprinkle a little corn startch on it and its as good as new. __________________ TWISTYSCASH.com - Proven to be One of the BEST Adult Programs Around Promote These Sites : Twistys ~ Busty Ones ~ Nicole Graves ICQ : 9 6 4 4 0 2 2 1

02-27-2006, 09:05 PM	#20
rankscom Rick Moby Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Henderson, NV Posts: 433	thanks for the comments yo! LOL __________________ MyPorn.com - Porn's most anticipated free site of tomorrow. Coming Q4, 2015.

02-27-2006, 11:40 PM	#21
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	you actually took the time to make a comparative analysis between the hand and the fleshlight. nice writing! your work must be published. too bad, fleshlight did not win.

02-27-2006, 11:44 PM	#22
xxxice Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 5,042	Good info