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Old 02-21-2006, 09:20 AM   #1
Trixxxia
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:tongue JOKE:: No speakah de English

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH


A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In
this country . .we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa
tellin' my frienda how to spell "Mississippi'."


I thought it was cute!
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:23 AM   #2
thaifan99
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lol.....not bad
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:24 AM   #3
G-Rotica
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Oldie but goodie.
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:36 AM   #4
Fabien
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Quoi ?
Je comprends pas ?
Bahhh, c'est pas grave

http://referral.topbucks.com/clickthru.cgi?id=patrizia
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:37 AM   #5
amandaspost
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lol, cute one
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:38 AM   #6
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:43 AM   #7
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good one!
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:46 AM   #8
Sharky01276
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I like i like..
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:46 AM   #9
Trixxxia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fabien
Quoi ?
Je comprends pas ?
Bahhh, c'est pas grave
*why did you put my link there?* hehehe
Arrét de faire ton 'Québecer' difficile!!!
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:55 AM   #10
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:55 AM   #11
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Here's another classic:

The italian man who went to Malta

One day Ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis of toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss onna ma plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonnowa bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonnowa bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonnowa bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonnowa bitch.

So I go back to ma room inna hotel and there is no shits onna ma bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on ma bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonnwa bitch. I don't even know the man and he call me sonnawa bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonnwa bitch, I gonna back to Italy.
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Old 02-21-2006, 10:15 AM   #12
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Hehe. Good one Trix.
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Old 02-21-2006, 10:38 AM   #13
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lol
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Old 02-21-2006, 11:05 AM   #14
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The second one I heard when I was about 10. but it always makes me laugh/
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Old 02-21-2006, 07:47 PM   #15
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Nice on man.
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Old 02-21-2006, 07:57 PM   #16
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I fuckin loved it!
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Old 02-21-2006, 08:06 PM   #17
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oh Christ LOL that second one sounds like my dad and some of my relatives before we moved to Canada from Palermo hehehe ;o))
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Old 02-21-2006, 08:21 PM   #18
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hehehe as a true ASL i had to re read that one LOL
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Old 02-21-2006, 09:38 PM   #19
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ahehehe.. funny shit man.. thanks for sharing
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Old 02-21-2006, 10:06 PM   #20
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hahahahahaha, thats very funny!
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Old 02-21-2006, 10:16 PM   #22
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funny indeed
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Old 02-22-2006, 12:00 AM   #23
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lol very cool one...
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Old 02-22-2006, 01:42 AM   #24
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thanks for the good laugh!
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Old 02-22-2006, 02:34 AM   #25
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old but still funny. thanks
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Old 03-01-2006, 06:02 AM   #26
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lolllllllllll
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Old 03-01-2006, 06:06 AM   #27
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not a bad one
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Old 03-01-2006, 06:07 AM   #28
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That's just the kind of smile I need to start my morning! Thanks TrixXxia!!
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Old 03-01-2006, 06:07 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkz
Here's another classic:

The italian man who went to Malta

One day Ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis of toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss onna ma plate. She say you better not piss onna plate, you sonnowa bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonnowa bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonnowa bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonnowa bitch.

So I go back to ma room inna hotel and there is no shits onna ma bed. I call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on ma bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonnwa bitch. I don't even know the man and he call me sonnawa bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonnwa bitch, I gonna back to Italy.
that was pretty good
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Old 03-01-2006, 06:08 AM   #30
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lol
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