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Old 02-17-2006, 11:56 AM   #1
V_RocKs
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Are your n/adult friends player hating because you make more than they do combined?

In the beginning my friends thought I was stupid for trying to work in adult... They didn't get that I am not doing content related shit... I told them, "I sell porn, I don't make it." They never really understood that...

As time went on they'd ask how much I made that day and when I told them they were like wow, bumper crop! And I was like, no, that is a normal day. And they cocked their head to the side and squinted at me...

At different intervals during my 2 1/2 years in adult they asked for help or asked for a job. I always gave it with no delay. Held nothing back. But then they realized it was WORK and I didn't just sit on the computer fucking off all day... They always fucked up and fucked off and never made a dime because they jacked off all day or their girlfriends/wives bitched them out for trying to work in adult...

So now I make about what 4 of them would combined... Maybe more... And they all act like assholes... They are starting to treat me like, "The Man."

I have a hard time hanging out with them because they will do such lamer shit like offer gas money or give 2 quarters when bumming a cigarette... Who gives a fuck about $5? They want to play poker for $10 a game and I simply can't do it... It is like a waste of time... If their gf/wife asks my gf if we want to do something on Saturday and mine says sure, they are like cool lets go do the same thing we've always done and I am like, shit, I want to go to a Laker game or something different but semi-expensive... No one has any money for that...

Soooooooo.......

Do you still hang out with your pre-adult buddies or did you switch it up after the disconnect started?
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Old 02-17-2006, 11:57 AM   #2
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it is natural to gravitate towards those who have the same disposable income
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:02 PM   #3
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don't tell people how much you make. it's no one's business

problem solved
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:04 PM   #4
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i lead a pretty boring life so no major problems here.
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:08 PM   #5
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Yes as you make money you'll want to spend it so either you pay for your friends too or get ones that can keep up with you.
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:09 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Heron
Yes as you make money you'll want to spend it so either you pay for your friends too or get ones that can keep up with you.
some people don't spend their money. they invest and keep a low profile. not everyone wastes money
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:13 PM   #7
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Yes as you make money you'll want to spend it so either you pay for your friends too or get ones that can keep up with you.
paying for them can be done, but in the same time you have to make sure that you are not "buying" friends
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:14 PM   #8
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some people don't spend their money. they invest and keep a low profile. not everyone wastes money
yes, going to a Lakers game is wasting money
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:14 PM   #9
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yea why tell pppl what u mean, ppl ask me that and i just tell them its personal and thats as far as it goes
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:17 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat
yes, going to a Lakers game is wasting money
i was talking about people making money and blowing it on depreciating assets like high end cars. waste of money imho and can bring unwanted attention
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:18 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by jjjay
i was talking about people making money and blowing it on depreciating assets like high end cars. waste of money imho and can bring unwanted attention
not an asset if it depreciates!
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:19 PM   #12
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don't tell people how much you make. it's no one's business

problem solved

Agreed. I don't rub it in their faces or bring it up. To each his own...
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:20 PM   #13
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Seems your thread title was not well thought out.
Your friends really do not seem that bad. It is not that lame to offer someone gas money or fifty cents for a smoke. Trust me that gesture is a hell of a lot better than having your so called friends expect you to pay for everything and never even offer anything.

They want to play 10.00 poker, this apparently is not high risk enough for you so thus it is a waste of time. They still wish to hang out and do things on the weekend yet again it is not expensive enough for you to do so.

I really think in reality you need to evaluate what happened to you and not them. Somewhere along the lines it seems you let money become more important than friendship. For example playing poker with your friends is not about making money or how much your betting per hand. It is about hanging out with them while sitting around a table busting each others balls and having fun. It is not about how much you walk away with or loose that night.

It is your life of course do as you please.
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:20 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nadanada
not an asset if it depreciates!
anything you own is an asset. values can go up or down.

a house is an asset, but you can still sell it for less than you bought it if you get the timing wrong.
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:22 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jjjay
i was talking about people making money and blowing it on depreciating assets like high end cars. waste of money imho and can bring unwanted attention
Hehe... I drive a used 98 Suburban. My gf drives a used 98 Jeep Cherokee... I don't think we waste money on depreciating assets...

But if I play poker I like it to be at least $25 if there are 20 people or more playing but prefer $50 - $200 to make the game a little sexy...

But I also have friends in this industry who make 10 times what I do and they refuse to play poker with me stating that $200 is the LOW minimum if 50 or more are playing but they prefer $500 - $2000...

So I guess Pheonix is right about the gravitation thing.

I guess I created the thread to see if it was normal for others... I kinda feel guilty not coming around but fuck... Some of the "drama" they deal with and want to talk about is so... employee like...
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:25 PM   #16
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Quote:
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anything you own is an asset. values can go up or down.

a house is an asset, but you can still sell it for less than you bought it if you get the timing wrong.
this is true, and I am also rather bored at the moment and willing to post about anything.
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:39 PM   #17
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don't tell people how much you make. it's no one's business

problem solved

A simple "I am rich, bitch" pretty much says it all.

Everyone celebrates being rich...
Actual numbers cause hate and jealousy!
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:40 PM   #18
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Seems your thread title was not well thought out.
Your friends really do not seem that bad. It is not that lame to offer someone gas money or fifty cents for a smoke. Trust me that gesture is a hell of a lot better than having your so called friends expect you to pay for everything and never even offer anything.
Damn you bust my balls...

My point here is that I also have more affluent friends who really are not THAT affluent but they kept 'growing' and so they didn't get into a dead end job and give up on making more... I say it like that because that is what they ARE doing (the dead-enders)... They ask me for tips to working in the industry and express a desire to make the same kinda money. So not doing so is them being to lazy....

Now that I brought up lazy... I have always been one to think smarter and get shit done faster... Most of my friends always mistook this for laziness... I have a 'computer' job because I am 'lazy'... WTF? Which was also a point I wanted to make earlier but got off on a tangent. A lot of their resentment of me stems from telling me I am lazy and yet I make more than they do and offered to show them how... but they were to lazy to do the work.

So the affluent friends I have now... When we go out and say we go to a bar first, someone will order drinks for the entire group. Some play in a soccer league with my GF and we buy pitchers of beer up the ass... People just go in and buy 8 pitchers and don't ask for money... because later on someone else will... and so on...

Quote:
They want to play 10.00 poker, this apparently is not high risk enough for you so thus it is a waste of time. They still wish to hang out and do things on the weekend yet again it is not expensive enough for you to do so.

I really think in reality you need to evaluate what happened to you and not them. Somewhere along the lines it seems you let money become more important than friendship. For example playing poker with your friends is not about making money or how much your betting per hand. It is about hanging out with them while sitting around a table busting each others balls and having fun. It is not about how much you walk away with or loose that night.

It is your life of course do as you please.

OK, your first (half made) point I agree with... I need to remember that it is all in good fun... I am from Chino by the way... Cowtown. The largest dairy preserve in the United States. Don't listen to Wisconsin or anybody else, your milk comes from Chino. So growing up half of us were dairymen and the other suburbians... I was from suburbia... point is that most of my friends got screwed out of their dairy profits or cashed them out and blew the money. So when I play poker with them, people start taking out ones and change to get money to pay for beer.. So I buy 2, 30 packs before I arrive... Kinda like bringing wine I guess... so no biggy...

But then someone will bust out after 2 games and ask me for $10 and be like, fuck, dude, you make that during your morning pee... I'll split it with ya if I win.. and I tell them no... Most of them say it is good to tell them no and 3 or 4 say, "What a chintzy asshole." They are the same ones who aquired anywhere from $50,000 - $1,000,000 for their share of grandpa's dairy when he died and blew the money and now rent a house on a dairy for $300 a month and complain about not making their bills.

Well, thanks all... I guess I had to vent... Out of about 30 people I still hang out with from past jobs, school, sports, etc, I really only get grief from 4 or 5 people and they are the ones that blew their money...
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:42 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by dustman
A simple "I am rich, bitch" pretty much says it all.

Everyone celebrates being rich...
maybe in the US, but it's not like that everywhere. many cultures choose to keep wealth low key since it avoids negative attention
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:42 PM   #20
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just read my sig, that says it all.
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:52 PM   #21
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Move from (insert your hometown), to (insert other side of country). Get Married, start a family.

The comment about gravitating towards people with income in your range is so true. Your friends wouldn't get jealous if they could afford Ferrari's too.
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:55 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by jjjay
maybe in the US, but it's not like that everywhere. many cultures choose to keep wealth low key since it avoids negative attention
in Poland being rich makes you look like a criminal who stole the money by exploiting the "poor" and "honest" people :-))
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:06 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by V_RocKs
Damn you bust my balls...
Everything you said there now brings a different element and story to this. I am sure if you re-read your initial post you will see why I posted what I did.

Lots of people assume that if it is not manual labor then it is not a real job. Or if you do not go somewhere like an office and clock in again it is not a real job. The majority of the time they will never get it. They do not understand what you do and therefore what you do is "easy" in their minds.

There will always be a great number of people who do not have the motivation to improve their lives. You can hand these types of people a step by step manual that guarantees them a better lifestyle and they still will not follow through and do it. (these people also exist in this industry already)

Seeing that you get grief just from a handful of your friends that blew their own money, they are more than likely the issue and problem. Good chance they are bitter and resentful of your success. At the same time when they call you chintzy and so on, remember they did blow through their money so maybe you will understand how.

The humorous part is they inherited money and think you are lazy. That often is an issue with those that have it easy from the start of life. They never really had to work for anything to start with. They already wasted a good chance to remain ahead of the game and were tossed back to the end of the line by bad choices they already made.

I do however think you are lucky that you still have 25-30 friends that you grew up with that are still around. For that I envy you.
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:07 PM   #24
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in Poland being rich makes you look like a criminal who stole the money by exploiting the "poor" and "honest" people :-))
In America we call that capitalism.
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:15 PM   #25
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Folk singer Harry Chapin once wrote, "Old friends...they mean much more to me than the new friends. 'Cuz they can see where you are - and they know where you've been."

I've seen both ends of the spectrum. I've been poor...and I've enjoyed a comfortable income. But even when the money was coming in, I never lost sight of who I was or where I came from. I still hung out with old buddies and did stuff like before. I just never made a grandiose show of the fact I was living comfortably.

And of the few old friends who are aware how well we were doing, they respect the fact that we'd worked hard for every dime and earned what we had. Jealousy has never played a factor.

I'll still take $5 bucks offered in gas money...just as readily as I'll offer it up to a friend in return. Its the significance of the thoughtful gesture...not the actual amount.

Anyone who allows money to change who they really are and how they pick their friends...is, to put it bluntly...rather superficial and shallow.
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:16 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by V_RocKs
I have a hard time hanging out with them because they will do such lamer shit like offer gas money or give 2 quarters when bumming a cigarette... Who gives a fuck about $5? They want to play poker for $10 a game and I simply can't do it... It is like a waste of time... If their gf/wife asks my gf if we want to do something on Saturday and mine says sure, they are like cool lets go do the same thing we've always done and I am like, shit, I want to go to a Laker game or something different but semi-expensive... No one has any money for that...
Its natural to want to find friends that can afford what you now can, but calling your friends lame because they pitch in for gas and want to play a $10 game of cards is pretty pompous. Were these really your friends or what's the deal? It sounds like you enjoy rubbing money in their faces. Find friends that can afford the Lakers game, there's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't mean you need to kick these guys to the curb just because they can't afford what you can.

I make quite a bit more than all of my friends too, but they haven't the slightest idea how much more and we all get along fine.
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:20 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by After Shock Media
The humorous part is they inherited money and think you are lazy. That often is an issue with those that have it easy from the start of life. They never really had to work for anything to start with. They already wasted a good chance to remain ahead of the game and were tossed back to the end of the line by bad choices they already made.
To support them a small bit, they didn't just inherit the money. They had to go to school 7 hours, 5 days a week like the rest of us and before they left for school they already put in 2 hours on the dairy. Then get out of school and do another 3 to 4 hours on top of homework....

Can Billy come out and play? No, he is helping his dad plant the alfalfa and after that he has to clean out the pig stables...

I worked on a dairy for 2 years and it is a bitch! But I always did things smarter... The owner would always be telling me to stop being lazy and I saw it as increasing production since now I could get 5 things done instead of 3...
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:21 PM   #28
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I guess I created the thread to see if it was normal for others... I kinda feel guilty not coming around but fuck... Some of the "drama" they deal with and want to talk about is so... employee like...
Haha, I think most people can relate. Your friends are employees, they're going to complain about their bosses. Just like your business owning friends are going to complain about their employees. Its all relative.

I just try not to complain period. :-)
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:35 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by V_RocKs
I have a hard time hanging out with them because they will do such lamer shit like offer gas money or give 2 quarters when bumming a cigarette... Who gives a fuck about $5? They want to play poker for $10 a game and I simply can't do it... It is like a waste of time...
Money is like a place or a job: move from A to B and you will always leave behind all but a couple of your "friends" because basically all they were was convenient acquaintances. That's fine, but if the comment I quoted is really how you feel, then you need to come to better terms with having money. Sneering at the things your old friends do and the gestures they make shows you in a bad light, not them.

And bear in mind that any fool can spend money. If you start moving among people who have had money long enough to be used to it, you are going to come across as an obnoxious prat if you act as if having money makes you special in any way.
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Old 02-17-2006, 01:50 PM   #30
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Had a similar problem. Just constantly mention that what you do could be gone tomorrow. Their jobs will be there for 20 years and yours won't. The fact that i actually believe this and save money to prepare for this goes a long ways.
Then add in that before taxes you make what 4 or 5 them do but after tax you make what 3 of them do. Your bite as a percentage is much higher for you.

Now if anyone can figure out how you date a normal girl. The gold digger gene fires up to high gear the minute they find out I like to leave the country 5-10 times a year.
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:05 PM   #31
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The worst is when you go out with "some" friends and they all look away when the bill comes.
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:08 PM   #32
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im curious to know how much do u net a month to make that kind of statement?
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:16 PM   #33
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I thought you meant your friends gave you royal shit for working in adult. There are issues sometimes for me but not really like what you're discribing, but I float alot of my friends too. Sometimes it burns because people start expecting you to pick up the tab. When people start trying to leech I just stop hanging out with them until they snap out of it. I don't consider paying for my crew to do something or go somewhere "buying" friends, I've had primarily the same group of friends since I was 14.

Nothing's too poor for my blood though- it's important to remember where you came from. I'll still play c-lo for singles and take all all the cash in someone's wallet.

My friends keep me humble. I bought some fucking Dior purse once that I totally didn't need and I never heard the end of it. I've got some rediculous fucking shit in my house, but I don't need to drop what equals someone's rent money on a handbag ever again.
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:22 PM   #34
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I think people with problems such as that have serious issues. 2 of my best friends are public school teachers and they will never make a huge income....big fucking deal. I'm not going to be an ass and constantly ask them to do things that they cannot afford, that would be rude. Nor would I ever dream of insinuating that I cannot stand to be friends with them anymore because their yearly income is less than 50K. If you want to go to a Lakers game (or any other high-priced vacation/activity/whatever) and they can't afford it, either pay their way and bring them with you (HEY! you're rich, remember?), or go by yourself and STFU. I think it's very sad that you would consider ditching your real friends over something as petty as money.
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:27 PM   #35
Alex
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You seem like an asshole.

Poker with friends never has anything to do about money. Its hanging out and having a good time.
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:27 PM   #36
SetTheWorldonFire
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I still hang out with my homeboys.

I don't mind paying less and a helping hand every now and then. Remember where you came from. One day someone can pull the plug and it's all gone. I maintain that type of mindframe always. I kick it with my homeboys because of who they are and not for money.

People should be proud of who they are and not what they want to be.
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:29 PM   #37
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In prosperous fortunes be modest and wise,
The greatest may fall, and the lowest may rise:
But insolent People that fall in disgrace,
Are wretched and no-body pities their Case.
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:33 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by After Shock Media
Seems your thread title was not well thought out.
Your friends really do not seem that bad. It is not that lame to offer someone gas money or fifty cents for a smoke. Trust me that gesture is a hell of a lot better than having your so called friends expect you to pay for everything and never even offer anything.

They want to play 10.00 poker, this apparently is not high risk enough for you so thus it is a waste of time. They still wish to hang out and do things on the weekend yet again it is not expensive enough for you to do so.

I really think in reality you need to evaluate what happened to you and not them. Somewhere along the lines it seems you let money become more important than friendship. For example playing poker with your friends is not about making money or how much your betting per hand. It is about hanging out with them while sitting around a table busting each others balls and having fun. It is not about how much you walk away with or loose that night.

It is your life of course do as you please.
Good post
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Old 02-17-2006, 04:14 PM   #39
V_RocKs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex
You seem like an asshole.

Poker with friends never has anything to do about money. Its hanging out and having a good time.

I'm an asshole?

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=565373
I just propositioned some hot wife on MySpace



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lol , thats what im saying demon
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http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=575345
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Old 02-17-2006, 04:19 PM   #40
V_RocKs
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Well, my idea when I created this thread was to get input and see how others who came before me dealt with issues I am just finally having to deal with now.

Overwhelmingly it seems I should realize that I am the one changing, not them. They were OK when we were ALL employees and so what is the difference now? Me...

Thanks for helping me out and to everyone who basically posted that I am pompous or an asshole, you know what to do...

To everyone else who actually had encouraging words to share, thanks for the input and helping me better understand this thing we call life and more specifically, relationships!
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Old 02-17-2006, 04:23 PM   #41
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my friends dont know how much i make. its no ones business.
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Old 02-17-2006, 06:11 PM   #42
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when i just started it was a job on the side of college (like it is now, plan to go fulltime after college though).. when i first started everyone i told didnt took it serious and said id never make cash (i was always broke)... recently i never hear em talk shit anymore, i get asked alot what i earn but i only told some friends i hang out with the most.. right now they think its cool i can earn my money this way and we get along fine.
Dont know how theyd react if i get more but we'll see.
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Old 02-17-2006, 08:29 PM   #43
V_RocKs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nico-t
when i just started it was a job on the side of college (like it is now, plan to go fulltime after college though).. when i first started everyone i told didnt took it serious and said id never make cash (i was always broke)... recently i never hear em talk shit anymore, i get asked alot what i earn but i only told some friends i hang out with the most.. right now they think its cool i can earn my money this way and we get along fine.
Dont know how theyd react if i get more but we'll see.
Good to hear you are doing well!
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