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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed.

 
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Old 04-17-2002, 09:44 AM   #1
chodadog
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 9,736
For all you married guys.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected childt processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, DrunkenBoys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
Joe Luckystrike



Dear Joe,

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but and up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Failures (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a support application with Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system, especially for those of you who have not completely uninstalled Girlfriend 7.0 from their system.

Best of luck,
Cash Ondelivery
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Old 04-17-2002, 10:16 AM   #2
FierceHost
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Indiana
Posts: 424
ROFL!!!
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Old 04-17-2002, 10:30 AM   #3
marty
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Posts: 1,656

TO ALL YOU MARRIED GUYS
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Old 04-17-2002, 10:35 AM   #4
Thumbelina
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 675
extremly whitty............loved it
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Old 04-17-2002, 10:39 AM   #5
woodyxxx
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Montreal,Quebec
Posts: 139
Funny as hell !

Always got to think twice before upgrading!!!! lol
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Old 04-17-2002, 01:10 PM   #6
-=HOAX=-
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: CrackYaMental
Posts: 4,365
FUCK....so format c:/ has been rendered useless????
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Old 04-17-2002, 01:36 PM   #7
Dreamman010
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Toronto, ON, Canada
Posts: 1,081
lol, those are funny

Here's another one:

Customer: I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word
Tech Support: Tell me what you've done
Customer: I typed 'A:SETUP'
Tech Support: Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says on the disk
Customer: It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'
Tech Support: you should insert the MS Word setup disk
Customer: Which disk is that?
Tech Support: Did you buy MS word?
Customer: Nope...
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Old 04-17-2002, 02:14 PM   #8
tara
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: NY
Posts: 489
Quote:
Originally posted by marty

TO ALL YOU MARRIED GUYS
LMAO
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