32. Discuss your near death experiences.

Back in 1999, I decided to go out and surf a rather large swell. I have some daredevil blood in me, however, I soon learned that life is very fragile.

I ended up going down in a nasty wave, it was vicious, unforgiving and most of all, humbling. The wave was about 12 foot in size, I badly misjudged it. I was tubbled a long time.

From the beach, the waves were thing of beauty. The problem with gorgeous waves is that sometimes they look like moist, soft pillows and you want to be inside of them; sometimes it is heavenly, and sometimes you get herpes.

My props go out to those guys like Poppy, Mike Hawk and Lars that always seem to get the former. It is a tough sport.

almost done bro

I am going to take her out with a bang Pete.

Thanks for reading.

Cory I appreciate your candor in this interview and would like to thank you for a very enjoyable read.

Although we didn't talk too much at the JBM show, I feel I can say the people of GFY that don't know you too well have a new understand and respect for the person you are and the asset you are to WegCash.

Thanks again :thumbsup

welcome Edison:thumbsup

hhahhahah Oh my fucking god thats a great story

That was a really great read, Cory. I have always enjoyed you and this gives me even more insight! Looking forward to seeing you again soon.

Brad

Shit I am a wuss, I look at some of the shit in Hawaii and go no fucking way ever hahahah.

but I have surfed 15 ft when I was younger.. sometimes its more about eh situation that the actual wave size.. whats goin on under the water current and so forth I have almost drowned in 5 ft shore pound.

33. Did your Dad want you to learn how to fight cause he thought you'd get beat up a lot by being gay?





My friends from Saddle Ranch and myself decided to go to Mardi Gra. However, we were room less. But working at Saddle Ranch seemed to open up a lot of doors, and one big door opened. My friend always waited on these very flamboyant gay guys. They came in weekly. They were great, totally fun and loved to party. Saddle Ranch was primarily a straight bar, but they loved to sit on the patio and make fun of straight people, so it worked.

The leader of the group will be referred to as club flamboyance from this point on. He was loaded. He had a ton of money. They tipped well, he had nice cars, he lived for the lavish. A month before we leave for Mardi Gra, he tells my friend that he has 2 rooms reserved yearly at the Bourbon Orleans, the rooms both overlooked Bourbon street. If you don?t know anything about Mardi Gra (sadly past tense), then you should know that beyond the cost of the rooms is the dismal availability. Our plan was to find people to crash with and suddenly, a room with a view was opening up for us.

When I say view, I mean you can see nude girls.

Of course, everything comes with a price. I saved this one for last, I did so for a reason.

In order to get the room, my friend and I would have to go to club flamboyance?s room and allow him to take a Polaroid of our penises. He would take this picture and hang it on ?the wall of cocks? that is located inside of his Bourbon Orleans suite. Nothing else would be needed, just a Polaroid, and then the room keys are handed over and we can use it as we wish. Our faces would not be in the picture. Our pictures would be among thousands of previous room attendants as well as past drunken Mardi Gra revelers.

We agree. In fact, I pinky swore the dude. I then got on the wire with my old college buddies and told them Mardi Gra was on. I was weary, no doubt, but I was also excited. A room on Bourbon with a view? I quickly envisioned rotating random ass after random ass in the room. It was going to be a sex fest. Girls would be crawling around the room.

In anticipation of the event, I decide this year for Mardi Gra I am going hardcore. I go to a few shops on Melrose, after I leave, I am the new owner of a boa, some fancy glitter and some crazy wild shirts.

When we arrived at Mardi Gra, we trudged through the crowd, I drug along my 2 luggages. Cabs are unable to drop you off at Bourbon street hotels as Bourbon is closed due to massive chaos. And now we were a part of the chaos.

?Here kids, put on these wrist bands. I just paid off homeboy, he is the bellman, we get as many wrist bands as we need, if you catch my drift!?

Jason was tanked. But I love that guy. He would take a bullet for you.

We entered the hotel. I was excited, but at the same time, I couldn?t help but think about my cock. What if Club Flamboyance laughs at it? Can I choose where they put the picture? I know this sounds ridiculous, but I don?t want a picture of my dick next to some other big black dudes.

We entered the room.

?We gotta go to Club Flamboyance?s room yo.?

My friend exalted. I looked at my friends from Kansas. I told them to stay, Matt and I would take care of this. I felt heroic. I felt like a martyr without dynamite packs. We wrapped our way up the old French winding stairwell, we didn?t talk. Occasionally, I would grab my penis and see if I thought it was bigger, but I had nothing relative to judge from.

Once we reached the top, we saw the room. We knocked.



(CONT)


(CONT)

(CONT)



(CONT)


?Boys, you two look super! How were your flights??

Club Flamboyance was fucking queened out. We entered the room, I noticed a couple of things right from the start. First, although there were a lot gay dudes with martinis, there were even more hot girls. Some of them were 10s, and they were all looking at us in anticipation of the dick photo session.

I also noticed the ?wall of cocks.? It was impressive; there were literally thousands of cock pictures. I walked over to it. I looked at it; I wanted to find a spot where mine would be ok.

?You ready big boy??

The flash went off. As I was pulling up my pants and as the noisy white flash tones simmered down, I saw a vision. She was brunette. She was heavenly. As I zipped up my penis and as the gay guys slowed the ?oohing,? I knew that I wanted to sleep with her.

My cock was pinned to a wall at approximately 10:30pm Central time in a suite in the Bourbon Orleans. It was time to party.

By the time Tuesday came around, I felt like hell, Mardi Gra beats you down. It wears on you. It taunts you when you are tired. It tricks you when you are energetic. It constantly offers you sinful things.

But it was Tuesday. It was Fat Tuesday, I went into makeup.

When I came out, a lavish pink boa hung from my neck, glitter sprayed my chest and eyes. I was a fucking walking testament to the biggest party in the world.

Just before the clock strikes midnight in New Orleans every Fat Tuesday, the city clears the streets. If you have ever witnessed this, then you know what a wicked scene prevails as drunken revelers scramble inside of bars to dodge lines of horses and police officers. You know the smell. You know the contrasting rhytmic sounds of garbage when it is shoved aggressively into the street?s shoulder sewers.

I was a god. I was atop the balcony from Club Flamboyance?s room. I was alone on the balcony with my arm around the brunet. And tonight, she would be mine.

?Are you gay??
She said as neon green top hats caught air and floated about the street as they detached themselves from those running for cover in the Tropical Isle bar.

?No, not at all. I only let them take the picture because we really wanted the room. I only came back tonight because I had hoped we would talk. I noticed you from the beginning when I was pulling my pants up.?

?Show me your cock.?

I began to pull my pants down. I was about to get blown on a Mardi Gra balcony as Fat Tuesday happened right before my eyes. I looked up to the sky, I thanked someone, I am not sure who though. I mean honestly, who do you thank when you are about to be so damn dirty.

?No man, on the wall. Show me which picture is yours.?

We were obviously on different pages at this point, however it was a small setback. I had a new issue, I had no idea where they hung my picture.

When we approached the wall of cocks, I was overwhelmed. There cocks everywhere, some black cocks, some white cocks, some were even purple. It was totally confusing. I saw piercings. I saw foreskin. I was totally freaked out. But I wanted this brunets ass, and if going through a wall full of cocks was the way to heaven, I was ready to open the door and bring on the disco balls.

?I think that is it.?

I pointed.

?Dude, are you just saying that because it is big??

?Hold up.?

The pressure of a 1000 cocks began to mount.

?Are you embarrassed about your cock size??

She said smiling. I turned red.

?Look, that is my cock. I am not embarrassed over my cock size. I have no issues showing my cock.?

We looked at each other. We kissed against a backdrop of random cocks and balls. And then we walked down the winding staircase. We were back on Bourbon and we met up with my friends who were in line at a bar.

?Hey, this is Lacey, she is going to party with us tonight.?

My friend shook her hand, he then went over to get us in the bar. He pulled out cash, he smothered it in his hands. But I had to go to the bathroom and Bourbon was building up in people again as they made exodus from the alleyways. So I ditched out for a second and decided to urinate. I reached down and began unzipping my pants, in the midst of my action; I took a massive shot to the head.

When you are getting your ass kicked on the side of a street, you typically grow curious as to who is kicking your ass and why. Generally however, these answers are unclear for a few moments.

The dust cleared. I was helped up and I was fired up. I caught a glimpse of the guy running into the bar. I ran to the door and the bouncers blocked my entry. He was inside staring back at me.

?You did this??

The perpetrator was about 5 inches shorter than me. He was small, he was skinny and by my calculations, he would be mercilessly beaten within the next few minutes.

The bouncers protected him and it became clear that the perpetrator was a bouncer himself. He beat me down because I was urinating (along with countless others) on the side wall of the bar. The bouncers apologized to me and told me he was out of line. I still wanted to fight though, something I never do, and my wish would be granted shortly.

My friends approached. Lacey was now at my side, I wanted to have sex with her later, I was hoping this would not discourage intercourse. It was then that one of the most random things ever happened. A girl walked up. She approached working her way through the staring crowd. She was a large girl. She flaunted her broad shoulders. She abused those beside her by hovering. She had a pizza stain on her t-shirt. She had a lot of fucking beads.

?What happened??
She said in bold, confident fashion.

The guy inside pointed at me.

?I fucked that guy up baby.?

She was his girlfriend. I looked at her. She looked at me. She punched the holy hell out of me. The punch landed and was absorbed on the side of my head. I wabbled, I swayed back, and then I collapsed into the side sewer of Bourbon Street.

I was in a world of shit. Literally, I was buried down in tons of horseshit, beads, used cups, tar, mud, Chinese food. It is dark at the bottom of a pile of shit, however glimmers of light seeped in from flashes on cameras. When the pile was clearing, the backlights from street lights and people photographing me was blinding. When the pile was clear, a hand reached down to pick me up. At the same time, a hurricane (cocktail known in New Orleans) was extended down. I grabbed the hand, I also grabbed the Hurricane.

?Dude, you just made my whole trip! Fuck man, it is total chaos! You can have my drink, I just bought it! Are you ok??

Random guy said.

?I am ok. I want to leave though, thank you for the drink.?

I felt done. I didn?t know how much more I could endure. It took two guys to lift me out of the sewage as I was unable to get any balance on the garbage stacks.

?Cory, man, buddy, fucking Christ are you ok??

My friend from college said.

?I called the Saddle Ranch guys, they are on the way.?
He continued

?I am fine I think. Where is Lacey.?

?Dude, I am pretty sure she left, this place was a madhouse when the big bitch knocked you out.?
My friend explained.

The onlookers cheered when I fully regained my balance. Among those still spinning yarns over what they just saw, I heard this:

?What happened??

?Nigga, some fag just got fucking beat the fuck down! That queer musta got lost on the wrong side of Bourbon!?

I reached down, I pulled my boa into a straight position. I wiped glitter from under my eyes, I wiped the mascara.

?Dude, you wanna call it a night??
My friend asked in the most consoling of inflections. This was a bad scene.

?No man, I want to go out. I want to go wherever this street will take us. I want to keep this party going. I lost my pride, I am probably a headliner on Internet sites, I have bruised ribs and a bruised cranium and I am obviously not getting laid, I have horseshit on me; But I will not go down that easy. Lets go.?

And we walked along Bourbon, we laughed. Somewhere in the bayou, it is likely that a Polaroid picture of my penis is pinned to some random detached wall drying out in a desolate field.

I am ok with that.

God bless New Orleans, she is the greatest city in the world, I hope she rebuilds, I hope that lives rebuild and I hope that those suffering see a better day sometime soon. The world is less of a place without her. I know that with our help, she will return, as will I.

That?s a wrap. I appreciate everyone who read any part of this interview. It is an absolute honor to be among those interviewed and among those that will be interviewed. I am flattered at the highest level that anyone would read it. You are all a great group of people and I am proud to be a part of this industry. Sleazy and LuLu, a special thanks to you for bringing this opportunity to the board. It is fundamental to know those you do business with, you have provided that in it?s most raw, most desirable fashion.

Thanks for thinking of me and of Wegcash. I hope I was able to entertain a bit. If I am ever called upon, I am always here, as is our entire company.

Thank You.

Mardi Gra, New Orleans, 2000.

http://www.gomidgetarmy.com/gallery/...rdigra_jpg.jpg

Bravo!!! Great fuckin' read...

Only one question left, can JFK post the Phoenix arrest pix now? :1orglaugh

ADG Webmaster

I really appreciate the words.

haha

I think he is a man of his word, they will likely never show face.

Too date, I have never seen them.

Thanks for the compliment, thanks for taking the time to read all that.

I know this has to be longest ambush interview (based on interview responses) in a while.

I appreciate what you did. It goes a long ways and will be remembered.

People should know you are a man of your word.

Thanks for reading man.

I concur. I did not paddle out on the recent BIG Wed. I was humbled on the cliff at La Jolla Cove.

Excellent read, Cory. I always enjoyed working with you during my Jettis days and its even more of a pleasure now that we're at the same company.

You're a true asset sure know how to decorate an office.

John

OK, a writer who grew up in Louisiana should know it's spelled Mardi Gras ;)

Great interview, Cory! :)

My nigga friend asks : Are you gay and don't know it yet ?

Nice one Cory; best Ambush Interview to date. Good luck on your move, let me know if you need help. :thumbsup

Great interview Cory ;)
WG

awesome answers cory! - Well done! Thank you for doing this :thumbsup

I know for a fact you were checking out that tranny and did a double take.. you metro

Thanks man. I think Baddog called the long responses early on haha

I really can't wait to get the move over with. You talk to Poppy last night?

Thanks for having me and thanks for putting up with my long answers.

Can't wait to see who is on slate for the next Ambush.

Jonathan,

I love your touch.

http://www.thecontentstore.com/store.../day3pf156.jpg

Honestly, that guy had the nicest tits I have seen in a long while :1orglaugh

Man, sometimes you just have to throw in the towel in Vegas.

Best Ambush yet, and quite possbily ever!

that was great, and entertaining! :thumbsup

Cory, you write so fluidly that you carry everyone along with ease - can't wait to see what you publish!

man i had respect for you before, but now its a whole new kind. i've read maybe 4 of the ambushes start to finish. this was one of em. wow, i thought i got myself into some shit over the years. those are great stories. the airplane one with the e is still my favorite, but the new orleans and shannon dougherty ones are excellent too. :pimp :pimp

I remember back when Sleazy first thought of the Ambush idea, I thought it would die after the first few. I also said to one of my friends I would never do it (not that I would be asked, stictly in the hypothetical). But after reading them, I realized I was wrong and they provided everyone with such a unique look at people. I can't recall who posted it, but someone posted to Sleazy that he would not get through the year. It is going strong. I love to know that someone is funny, serious, stupid, insecure and egotistical all in different ways.

I was very nervous when he contacted me. But I made a decision to let it go.

Thanks for the compliment, I look forward to whoever is next.

I was talking to Gabe yesterday, I actually worry that people will not like the style. I write in fragments, it is a take on the writing styles presented in the 60s (I am sure other genres do it, but I am not studied enough to cite). I mix it with "stream of conscious," a take on the style likely best captured by Virginia Wolfe.

When you look at it from afar, it is ugly; the grammar is poor. But I try to make it flow. You try to establish a rhythm. You try to contrast subjects (Kissing with love infront of a wall of penises). I am not great at that yet, but I love trying it.

Thanks man, I am glad I got this opportunity.

AWESOME read. You rule, Cory. ((HUG))

well I'd say based on everyone's responses in this thread that your style of writing is definitely a winner amongst adult webmasters! :pimp

Generally, from experience they do die, some a month,some a year from now. Though Sleazy's way of interviewing by using the subject's friends and detractors for his questions is just brilliant.

Very entertaining and eloquent answers Cory. I enjoyed every single story on this ambush.

Cory, one of the best interviews I have read. Funny how you can know some one for so long and not really know a thing about them at all. You are alright in my book man.

Thanks Sleazy for another great interview.

Yes, I know.

We have video proof from the lobby in Phoenix last year!

:error :error :error

Cory, I´m honored to see Dickmans Design on your list! No words, really. :)

This is exactly what motivates us to try our best day after day! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, on behalf of all the crew.

Kind regards, and congrats for this ambush interview. Very entertaining read!

Bruno Dickman :thumbsup

Truly great read, Cory! Kudos to you for your candor and ability to answer hard questions with humor, style and grace!

(whew...glad it's over. Now I can finally go back to work! :1orglaugh )

A beautiful picture of us together in there as well
:thumbsup

I can't wait for next Wed. It will be a great time.

You have been nothing but great to me from the day we met, you are certainly one that has helped me find my way around the industry.
:thumbsup

I love Cory - he is the man! xoxoxoxo

very cool interview...:thumbsup

This aiin't hard, people tell me that I do that everyday ;)

This is one of the more entertaining interviews that i've read in awhile.

I've just taken about 2 hours (started yesterday, finished today) to read it all, and I gotta say, this is THE most outstanding ambush interview ever done.

Congrats Cory and thanks for the laughs. I really enjoyed this and I wish this wasn't over yet.

I can't even say wich story I liked the most, everyone of them was great, and very well put into perspective.

We never talked, or had any kind of business relationship, but now I look forward meeting you !