Fucking fleshlight showed up today!

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  • John Hughes
    Confirmed User
    • Feb 2004
    • 177
    #1

    Fucking fleshlight showed up today!

    Forked out $57.90 for a fucking "pink; lady; wonder wave" fleshlight from fleshlight.com
    Today I went out to feed the hogs (no joke, I'm a freaking country boy) and found a chewed up fleshlight on my porch. The whole fucking thing was mangled. I guess fedex had no fucking brains so they dropped it on my porch next to the dog and drove away.
    Didn't even get to use the fucking thing!

    I haven't decided if I'm going to waste my money and order another or not.
    Tags: None
    • wdforty
      Confirmed User
      • Jul 2004
      • 1824
      #2
      I wonder if your dog enjoyed it
      icq 157542142

        Comment

        • Spunky
          I need a beer
          • Jun 2002
          • 133986
          #3
          Hopefully doggy got in a stroke or two

            Comment

            • John Hughes
              Confirmed User
              • Feb 2004
              • 177
              #4
              She's an English Mastive, she'd had to have used her tongue!

                Comment

                • Juicy D. Links
                  So Fucking Banned
                  • Apr 2001
                  • 122992
                  #5
                  pics????????????

                    Comment

                    • woj
                      <&(©¿©)&>
                      • Jul 2002
                      • 47882
                      #6
                      post pics, I'm sure juicy will hook you up with a free replacement if your story is legit...
                      Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000
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                        Comment

                        • jacked
                          sperm tail
                          • May 2004
                          • 11019
                          #7
                          thats a pretty fucked up story man

                          did the dog enjoy it?
                          Got Cam Models?
                          icq: 361-607-616

                            Comment

                            • Donny
                              As you wish...
                              • May 2002
                              • 13754
                              #8
                              This is a true story. John called me on my cell phone all pissed off. I couldn't help laughing but he didn't find it funny at all.

                                Comment

                                • FleshJoe2005
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Jan 2005
                                  • 287
                                  #9
                                  LOL. They have a return policy no questions asked.

                                  Check out http://www.fleshlight.com/main/order_info.php from which I quote:

                                  What is your return policy?

                                  If you are dissatisfied with your selection for any reason within the first 30 days of purchase, you may return it for a store credit or exchange. We will, based on your preference, either replace the item free of charge (for defective products) or provide store credit in the amount of your original purchase (excluding shipping and handling).
                                  To inquire about returning a product, contact us and provide your name, order ID and a brief description of the problem. We will send you complete instructions on how to return your package. Please be aware that we cannot accept return merchandise that arrives without an RMA number on the outside of the package. Please note that store credits cannot be processed until we have received your returned merchandise.

                                  Shipping charges will only be refunded in cases where our error caused the return or the item is defective.
                                  I convert male sextoy traffic at ~1:30!!!
                                  Send me your traffic and we'll split 50-50.
                                  ICQ: 325-310-821

                                    Comment

                                    • John Hughes
                                      Confirmed User
                                      • Feb 2004
                                      • 177
                                      #10
                                      How rude of me to make such a post without pics!
                                      I'll have to take some tomorrow in the daylight, I managed to find the base and the chewed up box. She didn't mess with the plastic enclosure, but she really fucked up the insert. I'll post some pics of the Puppy too, she's only 5 months old... 100lbs or so.

                                        Comment

                                        • tristan_D
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Jul 2005
                                          • 7865
                                          #11
                                          if only fleshlights will from the sky.
                                          Increase your sales. Up to $4 per click.

                                            Comment

                                            • Juicy D. Links
                                              So Fucking Banned
                                              • Apr 2001
                                              • 122992
                                              #12
                                              John email me [email protected] send me the order ID if you got it ill take care of it.

                                                Comment

                                                • Donny
                                                  As you wish...
                                                  • May 2002
                                                  • 13754
                                                  #13
                                                  I can also attest to the fact that his dog is huge.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • FlogTheLog
                                                      CuriousToyBoys Little Bitch
                                                      • Jun 2005
                                                      • 3842
                                                      #14
                                                      Originally posted by Spunky
                                                      Hopefully doggy got in a stroke or two

                                                        Comment

                                                        • John Hughes
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                          • 177
                                                          #15
                                                          Originally posted by Juicy D. Links
                                                          John email me [email protected] send me the order ID if you got it ill take care of it.

                                                          Cool... You the man!

                                                            Comment

                                                            • Juicy D. Links
                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                              • Apr 2001
                                                              • 122992
                                                              #16
                                                              Originally posted by John Hughes
                                                              Cool... You the man!
                                                              post some pics 2 2morrow i gotta see this shit lollllllllll

                                                                Comment

                                                                • John Hughes
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • Feb 2004
                                                                  • 177
                                                                  #17
                                                                  I did a little investigating on the John Hughes Ranch today to try and figure out who or what chewed up my Pink Lady Fleshlight Insert!

                                                                  I started gathering evidence from the location where I believe the crime took place..


                                                                  Here is my prime suspect!
                                                                  Juliet the 6 month old English Mastive! She even looks guilty... She was questioned, but denied any contact with the box.


                                                                  She just looked the other way....


                                                                  I put the remaining evidence on the table....


                                                                  But she was sticking with her innocence.....


                                                                  So I questioned the EMU......


                                                                  and he said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!"


                                                                  But then he figured it out and started humping the box with his neck! Needless to say, I think he's innocent.....


                                                                  Juliet finally confessed! GUILTY!


                                                                  THE END!

                                                                    Comment

                                                                    • Ice
                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                      • Nov 2002
                                                                      • 26053
                                                                      #18


                                                                      Love the pics
                                                                      icq 1904905

                                                                        Comment

                                                                        • directfiesta
                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                          • Oct 2002
                                                                          • 30137
                                                                          #19
                                                                          Originally posted by John Hughes
                                                                          I did a little investigating on the John Hughes Ranch today to try and figure out who or what chewed up my Pink Lady Fleshlight Insert!

                                                                          I started gathering evidence from the location where I believe the crime took place..

                                                                          Great post .. reads like one of those mystery novels ....


                                                                          JUICY, he deserves 2 fleshlights for this post
                                                                          I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT !

                                                                          But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

                                                                            Comment

                                                                            • JoeMeca
                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                              • Nov 2005
                                                                              • 2266
                                                                              #20
                                                                              yea great thread!

                                                                                Comment

                                                                                • wdsguy
                                                                                  Ryde or Die
                                                                                  • Dec 2002
                                                                                  • 19568
                                                                                  #21
                                                                                  John where the heck are ya? looks like you are up in central california somewhere.

                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                    • PixeLs
                                                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                      • Jul 2005
                                                                                      • 11922
                                                                                      #22
                                                                                      Hahahaha nice pics.. Cute suspect by the way.

                                                                                      Make money on any traffic.
                                                                                      Bi-weekly payments with no hold.

                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                        • John Hughes
                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                                                          • 177
                                                                                          #23
                                                                                          Originally posted by wdsguy
                                                                                          John where the heck are ya? looks like you are up in central california somewhere.
                                                                                          Yup, Chico/Redding!

                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                            • Juicy D. Links
                                                                                              So Fucking Banned
                                                                                              • Apr 2001
                                                                                              • 122992
                                                                                              #24
                                                                                              lolllllllllllllll John!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got your email bro

                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                • marketsmart
                                                                                                  HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER
                                                                                                  • Dec 2004
                                                                                                  • 20419
                                                                                                  #25
                                                                                                  with birds and hogs, who needs a fleshlight.....

                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                    • John Hughes
                                                                                                      Confirmed User
                                                                                                      • Feb 2004
                                                                                                      • 177
                                                                                                      #26
                                                                                                      Originally posted by marketsmart
                                                                                                      with birds and hogs, who needs a fleshlight.....

                                                                                                      I can't get'em to hold still.... What's your secret?

                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                        • Juicy D. Links
                                                                                                          So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                          • Apr 2001
                                                                                                          • 122992
                                                                                                          #27
                                                                                                          Originally posted by John Hughes
                                                                                                          I can't get'em to hold still.... What's your secret?

                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                            • crockett
                                                                                                              in a van by the river
                                                                                                              • May 2003
                                                                                                              • 76818
                                                                                                              #28
                                                                                                              lol at the fleshlight and wtf is that birl a emu?
                                                                                                              In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator.

                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                • marketsmart
                                                                                                                  HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER
                                                                                                                  • Dec 2004
                                                                                                                  • 20419
                                                                                                                  #29
                                                                                                                  Originally posted by John Hughes
                                                                                                                  I can't get'em to hold still.... What's your secret?
                                                                                                                  I tell them they have a real pretty mouth and them play dueling banjos on my harmonica....

                                                                                                                  give it a try....

                                                                                                                  "and a country boy can survive"

                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                    • Donny
                                                                                                                      As you wish...
                                                                                                                      • May 2002
                                                                                                                      • 13754
                                                                                                                      #30
                                                                                                                      OMFG, this thread is hilarious!!

                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                        • EroticySteve
                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                          • Mar 2005
                                                                                                                          • 4365
                                                                                                                          #31
                                                                                                                          That's an interesting dog toy.
                                                                                                                          You deserve to make more money. I'll help you do that.
                                                                                                                          Our affiliates earn up to $3/email or $107/sale

                                                                                                                          email steve <at> eroticy.com - icq 290153464

                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                            • John Hughes
                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                              • Feb 2004
                                                                                                                              • 177
                                                                                                                              #32
                                                                                                                              Originally posted by marketsmart
                                                                                                                              I tell them they have a real pretty mouth and them play dueling banjos on my harmonica....

                                                                                                                              give it a try....

                                                                                                                              "and a country boy can survive"

                                                                                                                              IT WORKED!!!

                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                • Juicy D. Links
                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2001
                                                                                                                                  • 122992
                                                                                                                                  #33
                                                                                                                                  John sending you another one bro

                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                    • Juicy D. Links
                                                                                                                                      So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                      • Apr 2001
                                                                                                                                      • 122992
                                                                                                                                      #34
                                                                                                                                      btw can i get 2257 docs on the Emu?lololol

                                                                                                                                        Comment

                                                                                                                                        • John Hughes
                                                                                                                                          Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                          • Feb 2004
                                                                                                                                          • 177
                                                                                                                                          #35
                                                                                                                                          Originally posted by Juicy D. Links
                                                                                                                                          btw can i get 2257 docs on the Emu?lololol

                                                                                                                                          I can MAKE THAT HAPPEN!

                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                            • sfera
                                                                                                                                              Confirmed User
                                                                                                                                              • Aug 2005
                                                                                                                                              • 8597
                                                                                                                                              #36
                                                                                                                                              post ur videos lol

                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                • Juicy D. Links
                                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2001
                                                                                                                                                  • 122992
                                                                                                                                                  #37
                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by John Hughes
                                                                                                                                                  I can MAKE THAT HAPPEN!
                                                                                                                                                  please have hoof prints on em also

                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                    • Hollywood Horwitz
                                                                                                                                                      Porn To ROCK!
                                                                                                                                                      • Dec 2003
                                                                                                                                                      • 4357
                                                                                                                                                      #38
                                                                                                                                                      love the pics and the fleshlight story, i almost cried...
                                                                                                                                                      Ross Horwitz
                                                                                                                                                      Skype: RossAngeles666
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                                                                                                                                                      Cell.323.949.4313
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                                                                                                                                                        • Violetta
                                                                                                                                                          Affiliate
                                                                                                                                                          • Jul 2004
                                                                                                                                                          • 28735
                                                                                                                                                          #39
                                                                                                                                                          lol... that sucks!
                                                                                                                                                          M&A Queen

                                                                                                                                                            Comment

                                                                                                                                                            • Donny
                                                                                                                                                              As you wish...
                                                                                                                                                              • May 2002
                                                                                                                                                              • 13754
                                                                                                                                                              #40
                                                                                                                                                              This thread needs a major bump...

                                                                                                                                                                Comment

                                                                                                                                                                • Juicy D. Links
                                                                                                                                                                  So Fucking Banned
                                                                                                                                                                  • Apr 2001
                                                                                                                                                                  • 122992
                                                                                                                                                                  #41
                                                                                                                                                                  Originally posted by Donny
                                                                                                                                                                  This thread needs a major bump...

                                                                                                                                                                    Comment

                                                                                                                                                                    • Midwest Shane
                                                                                                                                                                      ValMidwest rocks
                                                                                                                                                                      • Sep 2004
                                                                                                                                                                      • 1202
                                                                                                                                                                      #42
                                                                                                                                                                      Ok now this was a funny post! Melissa

                                                                                                                                                                      ValMidWest.com


                                                                                                                                                                      MelissaMidwest.com

                                                                                                                                                                      FoxyJacky.com

                                                                                                                                                                      SweetAdri.com

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                                                                                                                                                                        • boner 2.0
                                                                                                                                                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                                                                                                                                          • Jul 2004
                                                                                                                                                                          • 10970
                                                                                                                                                                          #43
                                                                                                                                                                          .......... we are eating emu for dinner

                                                                                                                                                                            Comment

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