HAHAHAHAA LMAO. I should of used that on my ex g/f.

52 and mad views for the juiceman

:Oh crap :Oh crap :Oh crap

/\ /\ that would of also worked on my ex g/f, because ITS TRUE!!!! :(

Try to get her to fulfill all of your most perverted sexual fantasies. Either she will do it and then it's cool to keep her around for a while or she'll think you're sick fuck and leave you alone forever. Either way you get what you want.

My classic is:

"Hey girl, just think of it like this... There's this magical place in the sky, it's filled with alot of people, you're gonna be taking a trip there with me.. it's called Dump City!"

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

I've used the last one about 10 times.

i really want your mother

fuck her sister. or her brother.

Stick it in her ass without asking. If she doesn't leave you the first time, try, try again. *grin*

:1orglaugh

I found someone to do it for me!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Breakup-Letter-S...cm dZViewItem

Dear Audrey,

I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during
our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you
left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the
wounded little boy in me talking.

Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my
fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me.
I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost
me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I
don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the
first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our
hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says...
"There's no one like you, Audrey." I look for you in the eyes and
breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home
with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the
depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those
perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating
can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe
and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I
sat on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the
stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial.
What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well,
in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her
a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately
attractive Audrey? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before.
I Don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yoghurt,
I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It
wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger,
but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel
so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because
you weren't there, Audrey, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing
feels the same without you. Jesus, Audrey, I'm just going crazy without you.

And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that
single mum we met at Pontins last year? Well, she dropped by last week
with a pan of lasagne. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without
a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not
the real story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're
banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in
the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does
when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the
kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on
your grandmother' old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle
it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes
me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Audrey ever put the
mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we
never used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order.
I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.
She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general.
She's pulling for us to get back together, Audrey, She really is. So we're
drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times. Here's this teenage
girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she
looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And
then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing and that gets
me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and
how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness between us. But do you
see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon
ring, all I can do is think of you?

It's true, Audrey. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could
start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh?

I think we can. If you feel the same please please please let me know,
otherwise, can you let me know where the Sky remote control is.

Steve

Just disappear to South Africa for a few months, she'll get the picture.

make sure u eat lots of corn first.

Open the car door and kick real hard :P

i like your style. :thumbsup

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Fuck her sister.

go like sly stallone and break up via fed-ex. he sent jennifer flavin a fed-ex letter stating what was up.

very klassy :)

I just tell them "It was fun and all but im young ive got to get around i cant be tied down". Its about valentines now as well, time to dump and pick up another after.

Ask her if you can enter her in a "scooching contest" --- makes 99.9% of all women WANT to leave!

http://www.stevelightspeed.com/scooching.jpg

Tell her: "I fucked your mom yesterday. She's the hottest babe I've ever had"!

Dump City...:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh


Dre

just be honest and tell her your PO violated you and you have to finish your manslaughter bid.:(

heeheheeheeheh

ROFL :1orglaugh :1orglaugh !!

just give her a nice little text message
"its over, im gay"
done and done..

Over AIM. I was dealing with a real psycho (had every email,AIM convo saved to disk and ever message on her answering machine saved) so I felt that was the safest way to do it.

just quit answering her calls.

My brother gave an ex-girlfriend a $500. paid invoice from a local moving company. We still laugh about that.

one day when I grow up and get a girlfriend I'll try all these on her

Just cheat her but make her see that,or tell her u r gay :)

change your locks and hide behind the couch

hahaha the best answer so far