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| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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12-20-2005, 04:52 PM
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#1 |
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So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: N.Y. -Long Island --
Posts: 122,992
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HOLIDAY Party ........................
December 1st
TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to singalong. And don't be surprised if the boss shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Patty Lewis Human Resources Director ------------------------------------------------------------------------ December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family. Patty Lewis Human Resources Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Regarding the anonymous note I received from member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange - no gifts will be allowed since the Union members feel that $10 is too much money. Patty Lewis Human Researchers Director -------------------------------------------------------------------- December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now? Patty Lewis Human Racehorses Director -------------------------------------------------------------------- December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES People, people-nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." Patty Lewis Human Ratraces Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Vegetarians-I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me? The B**** in Charge of the Party ------------------------------------------------------------------- December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Terri Bishop Acting Human Resources Director |
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12-20-2005, 04:56 PM
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#2 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sea
Posts: 6,474
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hehe that was funny
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12-20-2005, 04:57 PM
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#3 |
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..........
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: ..........
Posts: 41,917
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thats the u.s.a. for ya.
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12-20-2005, 04:57 PM
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#4 |
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www.pornkings.com
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida Baby!!
Posts: 4,645
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Great stuff, funny
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[email protected] |
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12-20-2005, 04:59 PM
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#5 |
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Pounding Googlebot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 34,492
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LOL, that was good
 WG
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I play with Google. |
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12-20-2005, 04:59 PM
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#6 |
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Confirmed User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: ThatOneProgram.com
Posts: 9,898
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Those e-mails were meant to stay internal Juicy
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Want to promote SUCCUBUS? Click HERE!!!! | Want to buy SUCCUBUS? Click HERE!!!! Yeah, yeah, you know, That One Program! | Want to trade links with StompBunny.com? Loryn (3:16 PM): I love it, just as long as we keep the bedroom door closed from all ears then we can have throw down hard core sex that makes us money haha fuck it we can have sex on money never did that before |
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12-20-2005, 05:00 PM
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#7 |
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I can change this!!!!!
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 18,972
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not bad at all.
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12-21-2005, 08:19 AM
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#8 |
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Workin With The Devil
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 51,532
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Good one juicy
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