Ambush Interview #71 Varius - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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Ambush Interview #71 Varius

12-20-2005, 10:37 AM

Ambush Interview is an information biography interview service giving webmasters profiles on the characters behind the scenes in Online Adult from a variety of backgrounds. Please visit our archive for other interviews on GFY with major Adult Industry Players.

Ambush Interview #71

Varius

A partner in IwantU, one of the largest adult dating sites on the net, Varius defines the rock star lifestyle in this business. Having worked in front of the camera he has an understanding most of us can never even dream of having, and his business sense has taken him to where he is today in this game.

1. How did you get your penis stuck in a jacuzzi and end up in the hospital?
2. Why did you run away from the hospital after pissing blood in the hotel toilet?
3. How did you get your comic book store boss arrested for software piracy?
4. What happened with you and the big old 'girl in red'?
5. Lets discuss those funky pants you always wear?
6. Were you a body builder before porn?
7. How much did you make pimping your sister out to your friend Tom?
8. I hear tranny's are cheap in Costa Rica. Talk about your first experience with one.
9. Why did the bouncers think you were stealing purses when you couldn't afford shoes?
10. Why is windex perferable to soap when cleaning an escort?
11. How much did you pay Sleazy to ambush you? We all know he's biased to AFF.
12. How many times have you bought boxes of rocks thinking they were laptops?
13. Is it true you'll fuck anyone or anything so long as they buy you drinks?
14. How often do you drink all night and not have enough money to pay your bar tab?
15. Were you involved in the planet 411 venture capital stock scandel?
16. Talk about your 'patch'.
17. Discuss Wisol.com
18. Discuss the time you were at a porn party and had 'technical difficulties'. I understand there are pics.....
19. Why did you fail out of computer science at college?
20. Why did you move from Montreal to Costa Rica?
21. How did IwantU start?
22. Why did you abandon your friends after 350 shots?
23. Kid Cock? discuss
24. What was it like to be held up at gunpoint? discuss
25. Do you usually pass out in the parking lot after office parties?
26. Where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years? Where do you see the industry?
27. Who do you look up to in the online adult industry? Down on?
28. What happens when an elevator door closes on your head? Discuss your experience with this.
29. Have you ever thought about going to an AA meeting? discuss
30. Ever had an STD? Ever been tested? Thoughts?
31. Do your parents know you work in porn? discuss
32. Which do you like better, selling smut or selling shoes?
33. Talk about your masterbation record.
34. Where does the name "Varius" come from?
35. Why did you fuck a girl in the river in front of families and children?

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This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

Now read without the word dog.
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#2

12-20-2005, 10:38 AM

not a bad sig spot eh?
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#3

12-20-2005, 10:38 AM

Sig Spot

Congrats Varius

Last edited by Ramos; 12-20-2005, 10:39 AM.

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#4

12-20-2005, 10:38 AM

ask him about jaegermeister and trying to outdrink us at l.a. WMA.

jk

keith is a cool ass cat.
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#5

12-20-2005, 10:39 AM

Gonna be a great interview with keith.
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#6

12-20-2005, 10:39 AM

see the sig

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#7

12-20-2005, 10:39 AM

haha ....was waiting for that one!!!

it's going to be veeeery interesting.........KID COCK

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#8

12-20-2005, 10:41 AM

love reading these interviews
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#9

12-20-2005, 10:41 AM

I <3 Keith.
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#10

12-20-2005, 10:43 AM

These things are still going.

Nothing against Varius or the others ambushed, but latley the people have been getting a bit dull.

Care about me?
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#11

12-20-2005, 10:44 AM

here we go ........here we go

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#12

12-20-2005, 10:45 AM

Congrats, Keith!

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#13

12-20-2005, 10:45 AM

Keith post pics of some shemale tica lol

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#14

12-20-2005, 10:46 AM

Originally posted by Alex

These things are still going.

Nothing against Varius or the others ambushed, but latley the people have been getting a bit dull.

hahaha trust us nothing is dull with Varius..

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#15

12-20-2005, 10:47 AM

Keith is top notch! ValVenis, Kid Kock, Varius rocks!

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12-20-2005, 10:47 AM

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#17

12-20-2005, 10:47 AM

Well, let's get this party started

1. How did you get your penis stuck in a jacuzzi and end up in the hospital?

I swear it didn't get stuck - yet no one believes me lol. What happened is, I was seeing a stripper-turned-bargirl back in Montreal and it was Valentine's Day night.

I had a hotel suite booked with nice jacuzzi and all, but after awhile of being there, she got a call that she had to get to work for a 'staff meeting'. I thought that was bullshit and that was reason enough to stop seeing her. However, I still had the room so decided to enjoy it.

I was drinking and relaxing in the jacuzzi, when my cell rang. As i twisted my body to grab it, I got *NAILED* by the water jet directly into my penis. That caused a small cut.

Now, my friends love to think I was trying to fuck the jacuzzi - but I'll leave them to their fantasies

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#18

12-20-2005, 10:48 AM

Originally posted by Alex

These things are still going.

Nothing against Varius or the others ambushed, but latley the people have been getting a bit dull.

are you kidding me.....check Varius' questions......

damn it.....this guy has biggest record of stories to tell......and that's just a preview of them

to the first question.....

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#19

12-20-2005, 10:48 AM

owned by a jacuzzi lol
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#20

12-20-2005, 10:49 AM

Originally posted by IwantU SAM

are you kidding me.....check Varius' questions......

damn it.....this guy has biggest record of stories to tell......and that's just a preview of them

to the first question.....

Like i said, i am not singling out Varius.

Just overall the last few ones have been a bit dull.

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#21

12-20-2005, 10:50 AM

Originally posted by Varius

Well, let's get this party started

1. How did you get your penis stuck in a jacuzzi and end up in the hospital?

I swear it didn't get stuck - yet no one believes me lol. What happened is, I was seeing a stripper-turned-bargirl back in Montreal and it was Valentine's Day night.

I had a hotel suite booked with nice jacuzzi and all, but after awhile of being there, she got a call that she had to get to work for a 'staff meeting'. I thought that was bullshit and that was reason enough to stop seeing her. However, I still had the room so decided to enjoy it.

I was drinking and relaxing in the jacuzzi, when my cell rang. As i twisted my body to grab it, I got *NAILED* by the water jet directly into my penis. That caused a small cut.

Now, my friends love to think I was trying to fuck the jacuzzi - but I'll leave them to their fantasies

i see you are still trying to deny it.....just admit it
this story never gets old!!

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#22

12-20-2005, 10:54 AM

I love the guy like a brother, but he was screwin the hot tub.....you cannot twist your body & get *nailed* its like dropping the soap... its done for a reason ;)

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#23

12-20-2005, 10:54 AM

I'll give you another one here, then got to work a bit...then I'll answer few more

2. Why did you run away from the hospital after pissing blood in the hotel toilet?

This relates back to question #1. The following day, I thought I was fine but when I had to keep going to the washroom every few seconds to piss blood, Mike figured they should take me to the hospital.

Pretending to act like I was passnig out from loss of blood, I got almost immediate attention. They even put me in a private room. That was all good, but the urologist would only be available in the morning, so I slept over. In the morning, I was pising less and less blood - and I knew what it was from anyways but didn't want to tell them my penis got cut by a jacuzzi jet - so decided to leave since I didn't want to wait all day for the specialist to come.

They kept telling me I couldnt go, so I just took my clothes and wandered out through the basement

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#24

12-20-2005, 10:59 AM

right on Keith.. telling it how it is!

nice pick Sleazy!

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#25

12-20-2005, 11:00 AM

Keith is a great guy. Super fun to party with and a great business man. Perfect choice for an ambush!

# 31. is always a favorite question of mine. This is going to be interesting!

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#26

12-20-2005, 11:03 AM

3. How did you get your comic book store boss arrested for software piracy?

I have no idea who turned on him, but to this day he owes me my last pay

I was the only employee working for a guy who ran a comic book store, so he could get his weekends off. The job was sweet, pretty much lying back reading comic books most of the day as it wasn't a very heavily trafficked store. He also paid me in cash weekly.

One day, I came to the store as usual and noticed my key didn't work anymore. Looking into the store, it was completely empty! I asked the neighbors (it was a strip mall) if they had any ideas what happened, and one told me the place was swarming with cops the night before and they emptied it out and arrested my boss.

They seemed to think it was for selling pirated software out of te back of the store - but I guess I'll never know the truth unless I happen to run into that guy again

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#27

12-20-2005, 11:08 AM

Originally posted by Varius

3. How did you get your comic book store boss arrested for software piracy?

I have no idea who turned on him, but to this day he owes me my last pay

I was the only employee working for a guy who ran a comic book store, so he could get his weekends off. The job was sweet, pretty much lying back reading comic books most of the day as it wasn't a very heavily trafficked store. He also paid me in cash weekly.

One day, I came to the store as usual and noticed my key didn't work anymore. Looking into the store, it was completely empty! I asked the neighbors (it was a strip mall) if they had any ideas what happened, and one told me the place was swarming with cops the night before and they emptied it out and arrested my boss.

They seemed to think it was for selling pirated software out of te back of the store - but I guess I'll never know the truth unless I happen to run into that guy again

I hope you don't run into him in jail lolol

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#28

12-20-2005, 11:09 AM

Great interview so far, hope to you in Vegas Keith

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#29

12-20-2005, 11:10 AM

ok, back to #1 & #2, tell us the truth about the jacuzzi! ;p

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#30

12-20-2005, 11:13 AM

4. What happened with you and the big old 'girl in red'?

This one, I only know what Mike and Jeff have told me

Apparently, on one of the thousand nights we went out and got wasted in Montreal, I went up to a rather large women dressed in red latex and started dancing with/on her.

That's really all the details I know, after *enough* laughing they eventually saved me from going home with her though.

That's real friends for ya

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#31

12-20-2005, 11:14 AM

continue the rest
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#32

12-20-2005, 11:14 AM

Originally posted by Warren

Great interview so far, hope to you in Vegas Keith

For sure, I'll be there....how about you and Martina making it to Costa Rica for our show ?

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#33

12-20-2005, 11:17 AM

Originally posted by Varius

4. What happened with you and the big old 'girl in red'?

This one, I only know what Mike and Jeff have told me

Apparently, on one of the thousand nights we went out and got wasted in Montreal, I went up to a rather large women dressed in red latex and started dancing with/on her.

That's really all the details I know, after *enough* laughing they eventually saved me from going home with her though.

That's real friends for ya

no no no no... your leaving out the part where you two misteriously disapeared & so on & so forth..continue the story!!!

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#34

12-20-2005, 11:18 AM

great questions as usuall ;)
need more pics at this thread!

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#35

12-20-2005, 11:19 AM

Originally posted by JFK

here we go ........here we go

Dang Mr. Varius... honored to be illustrated in your presence...

judging by the first two Q&A... this should be very good...

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#36

12-20-2005, 11:20 AM

you know, looking at these questions & thinking back to the stories...I could see where one could ask #29 lol

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#37

12-20-2005, 11:28 AM

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#38

12-20-2005, 11:31 AM

It's the Varius ambush.

Some great questions... this is going to be good.

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#39

12-20-2005, 11:32 AM

5. Lets discuss those funky pants you always wear?

Well, I started wearing these fabled Leopard pants almost exactly one year ago. I was in vegas and we were sponsoring Player's Ball, so I wanted to find a cool outfit to wear. I'm not much for the bling bling or suits.

I went to a kickass store across from the Mandalay Bay, called LV Club Wear. The owner, Bob, gave me 50% off everything I bought in exchange for a few passes - so I took advantage of it.

The pants seemed like something that would be extremely comfortable, so I went with those. I never imagined wearing them afterwards though.

Well aside from being ultra comfy, they got a great response! Girls rubbing up on them, people taking more pics, etc...Thus they are now a normal part of my wardrobe. Some people at shows almost expect me in them now, so who am I to disappoint my fans?

I'm hoping to find some red ones soon, to go better with the IwantU colors - hopefully Vegas helps me out there again this year.

NOTE: This is definately FAUX FUR. I love animals (esp. wild ones) so would never buy real fur nor should you

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#40

12-20-2005, 11:33 AM

Originally posted by Alex

These things are still going.

Nothing against Varius or the others ambushed, but latley the people have been getting a bit dull.

umm, looking at my last few interviews and who they are in the industry, ed, lou, etc... dull?

are you a complete and total fucking idiot?

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#41

12-20-2005, 11:40 AM

Varius (10 years)

I have to admit that I know Varius (Keith) for more than 10 years now and he keeps surprising me everyday.

Jacuzzi: It is a lie. Varius sticked his genitals in the Jacuzzi hole and paid the price for it
Hospital: He run away from the hospital through the basement, but he forgot to mention that he also pissed blood all over their walls.

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#42

12-20-2005, 11:41 AM

Great questions!

...
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#43

12-20-2005, 11:41 AM

Originally posted by iwantu

I have to admit that I know Varius (Keith) for more than 10 years now and he keeps surprising me everyday.

Jacuzzi: It is a lie. Varius sticked his genitals in the Jacuzzi hole and paid the price for it
Hospital: He run away from the hospital through the basement, but he forgot to mention that he also pissed blood all over their walls.

Heh true - I can't aim

I had to fill that hospital jar up for blood sample, but kinda missed and got their wall covered instead

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#44

12-20-2005, 11:45 AM

6. Were you a body builder before porn?

Nope, not in the least. I really should have gotten more exercise than I did, but pretty much my only source of exercise came in the form of sex back then

I was just always too lazy to go to a gym and/or workout. I still am, though I'm trying to change that. I now have the first two pieces of gym equipment in my home and as soon as I assemble them, I'll start using them

Luckily, I'm a tall guy and have large bones, so the weight I have doesn't show as badly as it could if I were smaller. Since being in Costa Rica I've dropped off around 20 lbs. though and that's one of my main goals in 2006 - to get in better shape.

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#45

12-20-2005, 11:51 AM

Originally posted by Varius

6. Were you a body builder before porn?

Nope, not in the least. I really should have gotten more exercise than I did, but pretty much my only source of exercise came in the form of sex back then

I was just always too lazy to go to a gym and/or workout. I still am, though I'm trying to change that. I now have the first two pieces of gym equipment in my home and as soon as I assemble them, I'll start using them

Luckily, I'm a tall guy and have large bones, so the weight I have doesn't show as badly as it could if I were smaller. Since being in Costa Rica I've dropped off around 20 lbs. though and that's one of my main goals in 2006 - to get in better shape.

You're even closer to Brazil! BJJ boy! You don't have to lift weights!
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#46

12-20-2005, 11:52 AM

Originally posted by Varius

6. Were you a body builder before porn?

Nope, not in the least. I really should have gotten more exercise than I did, but pretty much my only source of exercise came in the form of sex back then

I was just always too lazy to go to a gym and/or workout. I still am, though I'm trying to change that. I now have the first two pieces of gym equipment in my home and as soon as I assemble them, I'll start using them

Luckily, I'm a tall guy and have large bones, so the weight I have doesn't show as badly as it could if I were smaller. Since being in Costa Rica I've dropped off around 20 lbs. though and that's one of my main goals in 2006 - to get in better shape.

He was a diver though! & wanted to be an extreme wrestler! ;)

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#47

12-20-2005, 12:00 PM

Originally posted by Anthony

You're even closer to Brazil! BJJ boy! You don't have to lift weights!

I'm considering a martial art...not sure what's available in CR though. I don't think they have too much selection.

Besides you'll still be years ahead of me

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#48

12-20-2005, 12:09 PM

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#49

12-20-2005, 12:12 PM

Drunken Fist form! You could be the Drunken Master! lol

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#50

12-20-2005, 12:16 PM

7. How much did you make pimping your sister out to your friend Tom?

This one is pretty simple. I have a sister who is 3 years younger than me, so at the time she must have been 18.

Her and her friends came to a bar where I was with a friend Tom, Jeff and some other people.

Tom said he found my sister cute, so I told him he could hook up with her if he bought me some drinks. He did, then i told him to buy her and her friends some drinks which he did, to get them drunk.

Unluckily for Tom, some guys my sis and her friends knew came in and left with them instead. Tom got left with no girls and I gained some free drinks

I'm a pretty inexpensive pimp

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